Annis stood motionless as Neal walked by her in the hallway.  Her friend Samantha could hardly get her attention, not until Neal was out of sight.  They had been talking about meeting after fifth period was over in order to work on their homework together.  That might as well have been a year ago since all that Annis could see right now was Neal.  Annis saw Neal like you see in those romantic movies, with a halo of blurriness around him.  All she could see was him.  Samantha thought that Annis had this uncanny ability to know when Neal was around since every time he got near Annis was able to pinpoint him out, even in a large crowd.

Annis was tall for her age, and smart, which is why she was skipped ahead in school.  Her parents still thought it was important for Annis to be in school with people her own age, which is why she was a 14 year old Junior in high school, and not a senior.  Annis didn't mind, she liked that she was in the same grade as Neal.  If she was skipped head she wouldn't be able to see him as much.  Despite her height, Annis was still a child.  Nearly everyone in her classes knew that she was skipped ahead, though they wondered if she was so smart why she was only skipped ahead a couple of grades.  Though well spoken, Annis found it hard sometimes to deal with the Juniors.  She was still into dolls, only slightly she would say, while everyone else was interested in other things.  That is, until the day a year before in which she caught sight of Neal walking by her house with a group of his friends.
Neal was on the football team.  He was quick and tall, and had hands like a vice.  He was perfectly suited for wide receiver.  His idol was Jerry Rice, and he tried to emulate everything about him, down to the number.  He wasn't as good as Jerry yet, but he knew that with hard work he could make it.

With Neal out of sight Samantha again began to talk to Annis.  Now she would get a response.

"Annis," she said, "You've got it bad for that guy, but there is no way on earth that he's going to give you the time of day."

"I know," said Annis in a voice that reflected her bubble being burst by Samantha's statement.  "It's just that... well, maybe if you fixed me up like they do in the movies and make me pretty... then I know he won't be able to resist me.  That's the way it always happens in the movies, and the ordinary girl like me always wins the boy's heart."

"That's happens in the movies, not in real life."

"But, why would they lie like that?"

Just then the bell rung and the two friends had to part.
 

Samantha was absent with a cold a few weeks later, so Annis took the time she spent doing her homework in the library and went over to the practice field to watch Neal.  She sat on a bench near the water fountain hoping that Neal would eventually get thirsty and come over for a drink.  She waited as long as she could, but Neal didn't come over.  A few of the other players did, and Annis tried to talk to them.  They didn't even seem to see her as they walked over to get their drinks of water.  It wasn't until a guy she knew from her Photography class came over to get a drink that anyone spoke to her.  There wasn't much time for a long conversation, but Annis was able to ask Lyle a few questions about Neal.
Lyle thought it was unusual for someone to ask so many questions without a motive.  "You sure are asking a lot of questions about Neal... do you like him or something?"

Annis didn't want to lie, but she also didn't know what else to say.  The truth seemed to silly to her right at this moment.  Nevertheless, as she thought about saying no to the question, the feeling in her stomach made her realize that was the wrong thing to do.  "Yea, I kinda like him."

"That's good Annis, but you should know that he has a girlfriend," said Lyle as the couch shouted at him to quite wasting time and return to practice.

Annis' heart sank at the news.  However, she thought back to all those movies she spoke to Samantha about.  In all those movies the guy always has a girlfriend, and she's always a bitch.  Annis just knew that Neal's girlfriend was a bitch and it was up to her to save him from her.  It was all working out like in the movies, thought Annis to herself.

The next day Annis told Samantha that she wanted to do her homework by the practice field.  Samantha went along, even though she didn't feel that it was right.  At the same time, Samantha liked Annis' determination to make her dream come true.  Maybe it would work out like in the movies.  Maybe Neal would see Annis in a new light.  All she needed was his attention and a make-over.  That always seemed to work in the movies.  The ordinary girl always has a gorgeous girl underneath her almost nerdy exterior.  It was just the way that things were.

The two friends sat by the drinking fountain waiting for Neal to come over.  Samantha sometimes looked up from her books to look at Annis and see what she, as the best friend, could do to make her look gorgeous.  There was potential there, thought Samantha, but how much?  A little make-up here, and spray of hair spray there and Annis would look like a million dollars, or so Samantha thought.  Annis was so adamant about this whole movie thing that Samantha had bought into it completely.

It was nearly a week later and Neal had not made one trip to the drinking fountain.

"What is he," asked Samantha, "Half camel?"

Annis did not answer, she just looked up from her books and looked at Neal for a moment until she lost him in the huddle.  She returned to her homework, waiting patiently for the moment that Neal would want a drink.

The next day was a hot one, and the players on the field made more trips to the fountain than usual.  By this time nearly everyone on the team knew Annis and Samantha.  They had all spoken to them at one time or another, except Neal.  Finally he made his way to get a drink.  Samantha didn't notice, but noticed that Annis had put her pencil down and was breathing faster.

"Stay calm Annis, otherwise you'll blow it."

Annis took a deep breath as Neal approached the two.

"Hi Neal."

"OH, hi...."

"Annis... that's my name."

"Hey."

"Your really good, I can't wait until to see you play next week."

"Yea... cool."

Finished drinking Neal walked back to the field.

"Annis, are you all right?"

"I feel like a fool... I should have talked to him more.  What was I thinking talking to him about the game, I should have brought up something else."

"You can't beat yourself up about a thing like that.  Now come on, you mother will be here to pick us up soon," said Samantha.
 

The next day Neal's girlfriend Deborah walked up to Annis in the hall.  Deborah was one of those jealous girls who thinks that every girl is after her boyfriend.  In the case of Annis she was right.

"What did you talk to Neal about yesterday?" she demanded.

"Nothing, I just told him that I was looking forward to seeing the game against Oceanside next week."

"Sure.  Look, if your wondering I'm his girlfriend and I don't appreciate other girls coming on to him... OK?"

"I wasn't coming on to him, I was just talking to him," answered Annis with a nervous voice.

"Sure... just make sure it doesn't happen again."

Annis told Samantha about the whole thing.  Deborah was a total bitch, thought Annis to herself.  There is no way that Neal would not see that and, like in the movies, dump her as fast as possible.

What Annis didn't know is that Deborah wasn't a bitch at all.  She was actually a regular girl who didn't know how to react to certain situations.  Neal was her first real boyfriend.  In talking to her girlfriends, Deborah had learned incorrectly that the only way to keep a boy is to fend off any other girls who might flirt with him, since they were only talking to him because they were interested in him.  Deborah felt pretty bad about the whole encounter, but she feared loosing Neal more than anything.

Deborah was not unattractive, but she often felt that she was not pretty enough to keep Neal's interests.  Never did she stop to think that she might be more than just a body and a pretty face.  All of her friends talked about how guys were only interested in pretty girls.  No one over 110 pounds need apply to that category.  In Deborah's circle of friends all the girls ever did was work on their looks because they felt that that was the only way that the world would ever like them.  Their whole thought process was fixated on the fact that pretty girls were happier.  They would look at a girl like Annis and know instantly that she was miserable.  They assumed that anyone who wore frumpy clothes and didn't keep up with the latest styles was both poor and unhappy.  And on the other side, Annis looked at Deborah and her friends as the ideal.  She also believed that to be pretty is the end all and be all.  Annis often thought, if she were only pretty she would be completely happy.
 

The coach of the football team was feeling nice and let the team have a bigger break time.  This was Annis' chance to talk to Neal for more than a few moments.  She walked up next to Neal and his friends and waited to be acknowledged.  One of the guys in the group spotted her and turned to Neal.

"There's that girl that's gotta crush on you Neal."

"Shut up!," whispered Neal.

"Come on... you know you like her too... we know how you go in for those skinny, no boobs, weirdo types."

"Shut up!"

Neal turned to look at Annis... "I'll be right back fellas."

He walked up to Annis, all the while looking back at the group of laughing guys who could hardly contain themselves.

"What do you want with me?" asked Neal in an angry tone.

"I...," said Annis nervously, "I want to get to know you."

"Do you have a crush on me or something?  Cause if you do, you best forget about it, I'm not interested in you... and I never will be.  Look at you, your pathetic... following me around all the time... never saying a word... what's with you?  Huh?"

"I... I just... just wanted to... I mean I wished that you would like me as much as I like you."

"I don't think that's going to happen any time soon.  First off, I have a girlfriend.  Second, I don't even know you."

"I've been too shy to talk to you... and anytime I do you just walk away."

Neal turned to his friends and then to Annis.  Her face was sad, and Neal could see tears welling up in her eyes.

"Look," he said in a hush tone, "I'm sorry... I didn't mean that stuff.  I'm just saying that... well, I'm saying that your nice and all but I already have a girlfriend.  I like her very much.  Maybe if things were different you and I... could have been friends.  We can still be friends...."

"I get it.  I'm sorry for being such a pest."

Annis turned and walked back to the bench to pick up her things.  Samantha was there, and the two friends walked back to the library.  Neal walked back to his friends, who gave him a hard time about the quality of girl who fell for him.
 

Samantha and Annis walked towards the library, but they never made it there.  Instead they sat down at a bench near the tree where Annis' mom picked her up.

"What happened," asked Samantha.

Annis just sat on the bench, unable to put into words the thoughts that were turning inside her.  All Samantha could do was sit as Annis began to cry.

"Why won't he love me?  I know that inside me is the ability to love him more than anyone else could.  It's unfair that he can't see past my looks and see what's inside me.  All I ever wanted to do was love him, and have him love me.  But that's too much to ask for... I guess don't deserve that.  From the moment I first saw him I knew that I would always love him.  I thought that that same spark would cause him to love me.  I thought that it meant we would be together.  Does the world get off on making me love someone that won't ever love me back?  If I was pretty he would love me.  If only I could have been pretty.  Why aren't I pretty Samantha?"

Samantha didn't know what to say.  She wished that she had the answers to Annis' questions, but she didn't.  As Annis' mother drove up Annis made Samantha promise not to tell her mother about this.  Annis quickly wiped the tears out of her eyes and thought up an excuse to explain her teary eyes.

It took many years for Samantha to deal with what she saw her friend go through.  Annis never again made an attempt to love anyone else.  She never spoke his name, but Samantha knew that Annis continued to carry a torch for Neal, even eight years after the two graduated high school.  When Samantha told Annis that she was getting married it seemed to shock her.  Samantha was her closest and dearest friend, yet she knew that Samantha would not have time for her after she got married.

Annis begrudgingly agreed to be Samantha's maid of honor, but the idea of being alone frightened Annis.  She knew that Samantha would always be her friend, but she also knew that their lives would never be the same.

As Samantha pulled up to Annis' house a few weeks before the wedding she noticed the lights of an ambulance flashing.  She got closer and realized that the ambulance was right in front of Annis' apartment house.  A horrible feeling came upon her, a fear that Annis had done harm to herself.  She ran up to the one of the EMS workers and asked what had happened.

"Overdose... some poor girl tried to killed herself."

"What was her name?"

"A... Ann-nice...."

"Annis?"

"I guess... are you a friend of hers?"

"Yes I am."

"You may want to talk to that policeman over there... she left a note."

"Will she be all right?"

"It's hard to tell right now...."

Samantha went over to the police officer and told her who she was.  The officer told her what had happened and handed her a copy of a note Annis had left behind.