If you really must know, my last game was against the Arizona Cardinals.  We were playing them at home, so everyone expected a win.
    I told Coach that he didn't have to worry about my knee anymore.  The next day was the first day of the rest of my life.  He told me, "We'll see," and called another play.  The score at halftime was 21-0.  We were getting killed out there, but that didn't matter to him.  Rumor had it that Coach was taking a job in Minnesota as their new offensive coordinator.  Meanwhile it was my last game, so all I wanted to do was play.  What's the use in playing twelve years in pain only to not play in my final game because of my bad knee?  That's what I thought anyway.  I pressed Coach every time that he got near me on the sideline.  I'm sure he was pretty irritated, especially since we gave up that touchdown on the last drive before the half.  Arizona never looked as good as they did on that day.  How I happened to get back into the game was like this.  Halfway into the third quarter the guy I was backing up fell under one of our linebackers.  The play developed behind him, and there was no way he could have prevented it.  Thankfully he had the whole off season to get better.
    I've been there before though.  Some guy will fall right behind you and next thing you know your knee is giving out.  If you're lucky you're not THAT hurt, and the next week a shot of hydrocortisone will numb it enough that you can play.  I don't know how many times I had that shot of hydrocortisone injected into various parts of my body, but it was a lot.  What you don't realize when you watch the games on TV is that everyone is playing hurt.  The guys that are out there are the walking wounded, sometimes barely able to move a day before the game.  Somehow I never missed more than a few games here and there.  I was hurt most of the time played though, don't get me wrong.  It's just something that I had to deal with, because it's a part of the game.
    But I'm losing my train of thought; I was going to tell you how I got back into the game that day.  It was the middle of the third quarter when the guy I was backing up got hurt.  They put him on the stretcher and everything.  He had to rehab his knee for the whole of the off season, which really pissed him off.
    "Clipping, number 82, fifteen yard penalty... First down!" announced the ref through the stadium loudspeakers I remember.  One of the little cornerbacks was called for a clipping foul, which basically means he hurt our guy because of stupidity or out of malice.  These little cornerbacks know that they can't go up against a big lineman like me, so they undercut you sometimes.  That's how I got my first knee injury actually.
    That's when coach finally looked over at me and told me to get into the game.  I was going to be going up against this young guy named Lloyd, Ebenezer Lloyd.  Funny name, but everyone was picking him to make the pro-bowl by the end of his second season.  Sure enough, he was in the pro-bowl his sophomore season.  It took me five years to make it to the pro-bowl.  See, linemen are the hidden players on the field.  We don't get accolades, or much praise, but we do get blamed if our quarterback gets sacked.  Hell, we're practically invisible.  But let me tell you, all the action happens in the trenches, and that's where the linemen are.
    It was first and ten, and we were on our own forty-three yard line when I went in.  We were down by twenty-one points, and everyone that stayed to watch us play is basically there to move closer and watch a game from the expensive seats.  This kid with the funny name, Ebenezer Lloyd, jumped at me as soon as the ball is snapped.  He rushed all the way, and it took all my skill to play him to the outside, like Coach drew the play to work.  But this kid is super fast and strong, and he read the play perfectly and broke free of my block, tackling the running back for a two yard loss.  At that point I wondered why I had wanted to get back into the game.  But, I was in there now, and nothing short of an injury was going to take me out.
    You play professional for twelve years and you learn a few tricks from the other players.  This Ebenezer kid caught me off guard the first time, because I didn't know how fast he would react.  Yet, I knew that I could use his speed against him.  I'd have to fake a lot, and have him push me around, but only in the direction I actually wanted him to go.  Which wasn’t easy because, like I said, this guy was good.
    It was second and twelve, and he bull rushed me.  Thankfully the play was designed to run away from my side of the field, and I was able to contain the kid a little better.  I put this move on him that I learned from my old linebacker coach that helped me move him towards the middle where I could get some help.  Coach always said that being big and strong didn't always win out over being smart.  Once I was able to get some help I was able to contain this Ebenezer kid a little better.  Don't get me wrong, this guy ended up pushing me around the whole game.
    "You came to play today huh old man," he told me at one point.  Jawing is such a part of the game that I didn't take his remark to be an insult.  If I had played him a few years ago I'm pretty sure that he would have still overpowered me.  These new players coming out of college are super damn strong these days.
    It was third and three after we were able to move the ball on the ground the previous play.  As I remembered it I was supposed to pull on that play, which basically means that I don't block my man, but rather pull back from my position and run ahead of the running back to block a path for him.  But the snap was fumbled and the next thing I know I'm watching the ball bounce around my quarterback's feet.  He's scrambling to pick it up, but he can't get a handle on it.  So I quickly rush over to block or land on the ball or something, when I spot this linebacker bearing down on my quarterback.  I quickly changed my direction in order to block this guy and give my QB some time to pick up the ball.  Sure enough this linebacker and I collide.  He got the better of me because he was on a bull rush, and all I could do was throw myself in his way.
    Our QB recovered the ball but sure enough the guy got sacked.  The little crowd that was left started booing us, which always hurts.  It's not like I step on the field to look like an ass.  Still, they paid to watch a game, and they expect us to be perfect I guess.
They expect the home team to win, that's for sure.
    At the start of the forth quarter Coach inserts this young quarterback by the name of Sanders.  The team had drafted him a year earlier, but didn't play him that often.  The starting quarterback that year was this young punk named Cleaf that came out of college as the next big thing.  He was going to be Montana, Favre, and Elway all rolled up into one.  Course with all that hype he was bound to fail.  The guy threw ten touchdowns that year, and twenty-three interceptions.  That's absolutely dismal, and our team suffered for it.  Anytime we actually got on a roll in a game this Cleaf guy was guaranteed to throw the ball away.  I never saw anything like it.
    At the start of the forth quarter we had five first downs in the entire game, and were still down twenty-one points.  So this new guy Sanders is given a chance to throw because Coach and Cleaf were arguing about the fumbled snap.  Coach finally lost it and told Cleaf to sit down for the rest of the game.
    I liked this Sanders kid, and so did the rest of the team.  Many of us actually wanted him to be our starting quarterback even though he was inexperienced.  At least, we felt, he wasn’t a total prima donna like that Cleaf guy.  I could feel that the team felt a little charged up about playing well for this guy Sanders.
    Right off the bat our defense took the ball away and nearly scored a touchdown.  This guy Sanders called a play, and we broke the huddle.  I see that the coverage on defense changed to a blitz formation, and I yell out to the center, "Blitz!"  The center turned around and yelled at Sanders, "Blitz!"  Sanders quickly changed the play on the fly.  The play originally called for a run, but with the blitz coming this Sanders kid changes the play to a passing play.  Our wide receivers were going to be single covered because the defense has committed to the blitz.  I hoped that this Sanders kid would recognize that too.  The center snapped the ball and this Ebenezer guy bull rushes me again, as does the whole defensive line.  Sanders, cool and calm like a ten year vet steps back, sees that our wide receiver Johnson is covered by a single man and throws the ball super hard.  A half second after throwing the ball Sanders gets hit hard.  He' dropped to the grass where his nice clean uniform finally gets some dirt on it.  A couple of the other linemen start to pick him up just in time to see Johnson cross the goal line for a touchdown.  This Sanders kid shakes off the cobwebs out of his head and gets up yelling and screaming, "Fuck yea!"
    That kind of unbridled enthusiasms caught like a cold in preschool, and really pumped me up.  At that point we felt that we could maybe come back and win the game.
    This Sanders kid was really great that day.  He was like Superman after that first touchdown.  There was a play where he nearly got sacked for a loss, but he put on these slick moves he slithered away for a first down.  The guy was a man possessed that day.
      When you ride the bench you have this pent-up of energy in your body that feels atomic.  You feel like you could take on the opposition all by yourself.  I think this Sanders guy had that after sitting on the bench most of the season.  He was just itching to show his stuff, which he did that day.
    I'll never forget the last drive of that game, we were down 24-21 after an Arizona field goal.  Their defense pretty much gave up on blitzing us every down, since we were picking it up.  The whole line had Sander’s atomic energy during that forth quarter.  We ran the ball down the Cardinal's throat play after play and scored two touchdowns in four minutes.  The small crowd that had stayed suddenly sounded like a stadium full of people.  The game took on a different meaning.  It wasn't about ending the season with a win, it was about pride.  The Superbowl suddenly paled by comparison to that moment.  Here we were, down twenty-one points and we were able to tie the game up with a little more than four minutes left.
    That year I remember we didn't have one single come from behind victory.  We were a pretty damn awful team .  When you win four games everyone thinks of you as the doormat of the league, which is what we felt like too.
    The Cardinals were able to get close enough to kick a field goal but missed it, on their final drive.  So we got the ball back on our twenty-six yard line with a little more than three minutes remaining.  At that point I had only played about a quarter of the game, but my body was feeling like lead.  It's hard to catch one's breath when you're wrestling a three hundred pound defensive lineman.  There really isn't time to rest between plays when you're trying to make the most out of the time you have.  Three minutes is a lot of time in a football game, but Coach made us go no huddle a couple of times to maximize our time.
    I was feeling the pain all the way through my body.  Every time I got in a three point stance I felt like I would just keel over.  The sweat was pouring down my face to the point that I could hardly see that Ebenezer kid.  All I could see is a blob of white and red in front of me.  When the ball was snapped time seemed to slow.
I felt like I was detached from my body, and the play ran like molasses.
    The strangest thoughts went through my mind just then.  I was detached, and I couldn't really feel the steps I was taking.  When I looked at my feet I knew they were mine, but they seemed to move on their own.  My throat was hard and dry, and swallowing took more energy than I wanted to use.
    Like I said, strange thoughts went through my head.  I was in the game, I knew what was going on, but at the same time I was thinking of what I was going to do next weekend.  The off season was now the rest of my life.  What was I going to do the rest of my life?  I saw myself standing on the sidelines with a microphone in my hand, chatting it up with some broadcast guy in the booth.  I saw myself talking to him about my “Glory days” and thinking that I would sound like a total douche bag.
    Meanwhile this Ebenezer guy was showing signs of being tired himself.  I could see him trying to catch his breath.  He wasn't jawing at me like he had before.  He couldn't get enough air into his lungs to do much of that.  That's when I kidded him about being an old man.  I told him, "“What' the matter old man?"  It's the most I could say to him, seeing as I was trying not to pass out myself.  He smiled this half angry grin at me just as we got ready for another play.
    Time was running out, but this Sanders kid was still throwing the ball all around the field.  We weren’t picking up a lot of yards on each play, but we were making some progress.  We were nearly within field goal range when Sanders called a time out.  We all needed one, that's for sure.  My blood felt like it was boiling.
    During the time-out Coach tells asked us if we want to go for the field goal or go for the touchdown.  Of course everyone on the team voted to go for the win.  We were all puddles of flesh, there is no way we were going to want to play for overtime.
    We had just about a minute to get close enough for a field goal, just in case we didn't score a touchdown.  Sanders called a running play to fool the defense, because they were playing the pass.  The passing lanes were being flooded, and Coach thought that a running play might keep the defense honest.  Our running back at the time was this guy name Rice.  Rice was a fast kid with power up the middle.  He usually ran to the left, opposite me.  But this time Coach told Rice to run to the right in order to fool the defense.  Every other time we had run this particular play that year we ran it to the left side of the field.  This was the only time we ran it right.
    I mustered all my energy because I had to block this Ebenezer guy away from the running back.  But he caught me off guard and the next thing you know I'm holding on to his jersey in order to keep him from dragging my guy for a loss.  We picked up about seven yards on the play, but the ref called a holding foul on me.  That moved us back to the point that a field goal would not be practical.
    We were running out of time, and options.  This was forth down territory all the way.  It could have been forth and long, we were going to go for a touchdown no matter what.
    The next play we ran this play action pass that did catch the defense off guard.  They never thought we would run a thing like that with one time-out and twelve yards for a first down.  But we did, and we picked up about sixteen yards on this spectacular catch by Johnson.
    Johnson caught the ball with the very tips of his fingers, cradling it like a baby in his arms, getting his just as his feet touched the ground.  But, he held on to the ball, and we had a new set of downs.  But we were still running out of time, Johnson didn't go out of bounds to stop the clock.
    Sanders got us to the line as quickly as possible and spiked the ball in order to stop the clock.  We were close enough to try for a field goal, but we weren't going to do that until it was forth down.  The next couple of plays were busts.  Rice ran for three yards on a second down play.  The crowd booed that move, but it was the right one to make I thought.  I was happy with any play that kept that Ebenezer guy from bull rushing me again.
    Third down Sanders made this pass down the middle that put us within a chip shot of a field goal.  But we hadn't gotten the first down.  We called our last time out.  On the sidelines Coach asked us again what we wanted to do.  We knew that if we didn't score the game was lost.  But no one wanted to go for the field goal however.  We could go for a first down, but without any time-outs left we would be seriously screwed even with a first down.
    "I'm proud of you guys, whatever happens now," said Coach just then, and gave us two play options.  We could either go for the field goal and the tie, or try to get a touchdown.  I was beat, and I just wanted to win or lose already.  So did the rest of the team.
    Coach called a post route for Johnson, and told us good luck.  We lined up, and snapped the ball.