This month marks the one year anniversary of my Father's passing. In that time not much has changed. I can't say I miss him, or miss talking to him, because we really weren't that close, ever. Since that time I've been having to deal with his family, the family he moved up to Bakersfield for. I was his son in name only, because he hardly ever treated me with affection. I think that in his mind he blamed my mother for poisoning me towards him. The truth is she didn't like him very much, hence the divorce. But she was always civil beyond imagination with him. She encouraged him to spend time with me, to take me out to do things with him on the weekends. But instead of going out and doing something fun we would visit with his friends, his family, and other people I had no interest in visiting with. In short, I had a miserable time during his visits, and I came to dread him coming over. When he moved to Bakersfield he would first visit monthly, but then the visits became further and further apart. Again, I didn't mind the infrequency.

The picture above was taken by me on April 3rd, 2005. That day I had six dollars in my pocket, and I spent three of them on a metro day pass for God knows what reason. I didn't have anywhere to go really. I just decided to hop on a train and see where it would take me. As I sit here today, Sunday Oct. 26, 2008, I look back and realize where it took me.

On April 3rd I was short on money, and even shorter on hop. I had applied for a few jobs and had no luck with any of them. I was living off McDonald's dollar menu, and waiting for school to start in the fall to have something to do. My Grandmother had only been dead for two months. Her passing devastated me, but also galvanized my resolve to finish school and make her proud. But school was a few months away, and at that time I was aimless. I remember taking the metro Gold line out to Pasadena. It had just opened and I was really eager to ride it. With the last few dollars I had in my pocket I bought my ticket. I'm not even sure why I did such a thing. Spending half my money on the metro meant one less meal to eat for me. As a matter of fact I only had one meal that day. I traveled the train and got off at the Mission stop, because it looked interesting. I walked East down Mission Blvd , stopping about a block before I reached Fair Oaks. I remember how empty the street was, as if it was a holiday or something. There were a couple of stores open, but I only looked through the windows. I became thirsty and was forced to spend another $1.50 on a bottle of iced tea. Even if there had been somewhere to eat I couldn't afford it. As I walked back to the station I came upon a store named Etc. (pictured above) I wrote about that moment, and it goes a little like this.

The store was closed, but the clouds looked really great in the background that I had to take this picture. That was a special day in that shortly before taking this picture I had the thought of getting home quickly, only to remember that there was nothing to come home to since my Grandmother was dead. She meant so much to me, and not having her around changed my life forever. This picture reminds me of the moment when I realized change was staring me in the face, and there was no turning back.

I bought a Lomo fisheye camera and here are some pictures from the third roll I've taken, the first real good roll.