Editorial : An Open Letter...
Dear Sylvia,
I love you... that is to say that I fell in love with you some time after having you in my life. It was a deep love, one that I wish was requited. Alas, as has been the patter in life I walk away without anything to show for it but lovely memories of the time we spent together. Memories that will turn to longings of those shared moments when I would turn to you and wished that you loved me.
A question comes to mind, I wonder why it's so hard for me to find someone. I am someone who is lonely, and ready to shower someone with affection and love. But that only makes things worse, because I have no one. In friendship I gave you that affection hoping that you would consider the source and possibly open your heart to me. But, that wasn't meant to be. I know I can't make you love me, just as I can't make the sky fall or the oceans boil. If you had considered me as more than just a friend I believe that we would be happy for the rest of our lives. I love unconditionally, completely, and forever. Those are supposed to be the qualities that people search for. But, the reality is that people pass that up all the time.
I've loved and lost in the past, but your rejection turned off a switch in me. My friends have noticed a turn to darkness in me. It's funny because I actually like the dark feelings that I feel, because they seem to be more attached to reality than pollyanna dreams of love.
I considered you my last great chance at this, and now that it's behind me I know that it's pretty much a done deal. From here on out it's just me alone. I'm used to it now, and a big part of me thinks that I actually want to be alone in the long run. If only because no one will have me.
