Afterthoughts : Ten Years
March 2007 marks the 10th anniversary of my Mother's passing. I find it incredibly hard to believe that it's been ten years now. This anniversary comes on the heels of the two-year anniversary of my Grandmother's passing. These two women are the most important people in my life. With their passing I've had to come to grips that certain plans will not be followed through. I graduate in about two months and I have no inclination of going to the graduation ceremony because my Mother and Grandmother won't be there. They are really the only ones that I would consider going for, but since they're gone I rather not.
I'm dancing around the subject but quite simply, I miss them. I've been missing them a tremendous amount as of late, perhaps because of the significance of this anniversary being so close to an event both of them didn't live to see. I partially feel that the whole thing is a bit empty without them here to hug me when I'm holding that diploma. We don't always get the picture perfect ending. And so that's why I'm not going to graduation. I'm telling most people that it's for other reasons. But, really it's because it won't be special without them here to share it with me.
I think I might go and sit high above in Sierra Tower and wait to see if my name is called. I'm not sure if they call out the names of those who don't show up but did graduate. Who knows?
