Afterthoughts : This Past Month

As Predicted, here I am for another update.

Monday, May, 1, Boy did I have a rough night last night.  I slept during the day for at least four hours, so it was no wonder that I wasn't sleepy at bed time.  I stirred and stirred and could not fall asleep.  I would kinda fall asleep, but I would wake up in about an hour.  I basically only slept an hour at a time.  Then to top it all off I had a nightmare that involved a bear chasing me.  The bear came down from the mountain and seemed to be enraged and headed to a body of water by the house where I was staying.  It wasn't my house, but a rather nice mansion.  The bear became more enraged when it hit the water.  After that he turned his attention towards me, or so I thought.  I was worried that it would see me, and it did.  But after he jumped out of the water his rage was unfocused and he was in rage, but not towards me.  Still, I was worried and that's when I woke up.  I finally got some sleep after waking up at 4am.

I had a strange dream last night involving a bear chasing me.  The dream started with me on the patio of this amazing mansion, that I had walked through a bit in the dream.  I often dream of big buildings.  I stepped outside to the patio and in the distance I could see a figure of an animal, which at first looked to me to be a dog.  But as it went down the hill towards the house it got bigger and bigger, until I saw how big it was.  I was sure I was dead, but the bear was more interested in the water that was behind me.  Me ducking out of the way helped me survive.  That is the moment I realized the bear wasn't after me, it wanted to jump into the water much more than trying to attack me.  In my mind it wanted to go into the water because it ignored me as it flew by me.  When it hit the water it began to thrash, as if it was in agony.  It jumped out of the water and appeared to focus its attention towards me.  It then appeared to be electrocuted.  I was afraid that it would turn its rage on me, and that's when I woke up.  Not fun at all.  I went online to check what this dream MIGHT mean and here is what I found on one of the websites I visited on dream interpretation.

To dream that you are being pursued or attacked by a bear denotes anger and uncontrolled aggression.  You feel trapped.  Perhaps you are in a threatening situation, some overwhelming obstacle or domineering and possessive relationship.

I was saying how my aunt asks me so many dumb questions that I feel the need to sleep all day in order to escape that, if only for a little while.  How sad that I feel that way towards her.  I do feel trapped by her actions sometimes.  How sad to feel that way.

Today was the first day that I had to drive up to Chevy Chase branch in order to turn on the lights.  It's so idiotic, because why is it that they can automate the library (they really can't), but then they can't automate the lights.  The lights are one of the easiest things to automate.  Hell, I have automated lights at home that I can also control from my iPhone.  I mean come on.  How stupid are these people?  This stupid move really puts a monkey wrench into my morning.  I was able to get it done, but I know that next time I need to go up to Chevy first thing.  This is the stupidest thing they have me do.  Mala said I may have to do it for the next few months.  Yeah, I know I will have to do this until they go to Home Depot and buy an automation system.

I've once again been rejected by the Brand, this time my photograph that I submitted was not accepted.  I know I say it every time, but this has to be the last time I submit to that thing.  It's never going to happen.  It's just not my style of art.  They probably see my work as cliche or old fashioned.  This is why I say that I have to take my photography to the another level.  Because my photography might look nice, but it's nothing special.

Tuesday, May, 2, Today was a partially gloomy day.  I felt so cozy this morning that I didn't want to get out of bed.  Especially after finally getting a good night's sleep after Sunday night's fiasco of a bedtime.

There isn't really much to say about today at work.  It was a regular old shift with nothing to bring up.  Perhaps I could say something about our resident time waster, Mike.  I don't really want to bring him up today, he's not that bad, it's just that he gets to me with his questions.  He uses his computer every day and yet somehow doesn't have an understanding how it works.  That's a lot of dopes that come into the library.

One thing I can mention is how TheNewCute seemed to put me on radio silence on Team chat.  We are constantly in front of the computers at work, so it's a wonder that she isn't able to send me a message once in a blue moon today.  Oh well, I shouldn't take it personally.  Perhaps she was busy today.  Whatever.  I should never rely on anyone that much.  As a matter of fact this change in proximity might be a good thing for me to just get some other stuff done.  Yeah, that's the ticket.

Wednesday, May, 3, I mentioned my new assignment before anything else is to head up to the Chevy Chase branch library and turn on the lights and put out the sign.  I hate that I have to rush up there in order to turn on the lights for no one.  Because I'm 100% sure that no one goes up there to do anything.  I wish I had access to the logs, to see how many dopes actually use the library.  I'm thinking it's like one or two people.  Tops.  I also love that they paid $2,000,000 for a system that doesn't even automate the lights.  Dopes.  I'm sure that the majority of the money just went into someone's pocket.  If I didn't say it before, let me say it now.  I hate this assignment.

When I arrived at Brand I noticed the other car was there, meaning my coworker Tony was up there.  He was there to show TheNewCute how to work the DVD cleaner.  I thought they had agreed on doing it on a Monday, but TheNewCute told me that Mala nixed that because TheNewCute's schedule was not able to be changed.  Fishy, I know.  Oh well, so because of that she had to learn about the machine and I got to have half my lunch alone.  She eventually came up for air from the grueling training to eat.  I told her that she should just buy the simpler machine she showed me and pretend to use the giant machine.  It's too much of a hassle to work that big DVD cleaner.  This is mainly due to the fact that it has to be constantly cleaned.

TheGirl and I had thought of going up to Finny's, but when I got to her place TheGirl said she wanted to go to the Smokehouse.  OK, I'm game. We ordered up some booze, and they made the mistake of making more Manhattans than I asked for.  So, they gave the extra one.  I was feeling goooooood.  I mean, I had three cocktails and my pregame booze to boot.  I was feeling toasty even after I sobered up.

Thursday, May, 4, It's a good thing that I have some extra time on Thursdays to get up and get ready for the day, because I overslept this morning.  I'm sure it was due to all the drinking I did last night.  Still, I had plenty of time to get ready.  I made myself some chilaquiles and bacon with some refried beans my aunt made.  I LOVE refried beans.  I hit the road with a full belly, but a sleepy head.  When I got to work I was a little early, so I decided not to go in right away.  Instead I took a nap for ten minutes.  After lunch I usually take a walk around the block, but today I didn't feel up to it..  I took a nap in my car instead.

A pretty patron came into Casa today looking for a book, but we didn't have it.  She said she had a hold on it, and she did, but she was second in line.  She asked me to find it at another library, like Los Angeles.  She was so pretty I couldn't help but google her after I looked up her account.  Turns out she's internet famous.  All I knew is that she's gorgeous.

Friday, May, 5, I had another rough night last night.  I couldn't sleep.  For some reason I was hot and sweaty, to the point that I turned on my floor fan.  I consider turning on the A/C, but the fan was enough.  That was early in the night, when I first tried to go to bed.  I started to worry that I was possibly showing symptoms of being sick.  I got up and took my temperature, and found it to be normal.  Below normal, even.  I left the fan on a timer and tried to go back to sleep.  I did, thankfully.

TheNewCute went to lunch at noon, so it was another solo lunch for me.  Well, not completely solo, my coworker Michelle joined me in the kitchen.  It was fine.  I think I should have gone to the patio to eat.  Next time I'm "stood up" by TheNewCute I'm going to sit in the patio.  I have to get used to this happening, because as a full timer she's busier than before due to work obligations.  I sound like a wife bellyaching about her husband working and never coming home to have dinner.  Jeez, I best get over myself.  TheNewCute will have many lunches with me in the future.  It's just that sometimes we'll be like two ships passing in the night.  It's fine.

TheNewCute mentioned that she, and everyone that works the Brand Circ. desk, hates the pneumatic arms that hold the monitors.  The two on the Circ. desk don't work, but either do the ones at the reference desk.  She wanted to get the replaced with regular old monitor stands.  Well, she called ISD and someone there said they would be happy to do it, but that she had to submit a help ticket to get the ball rolling.  Well, she went ahead and did that and then it got kicked up to someone else.  That someone else, I forget his name, asked TheNewCute if she had gotten permission from her supervisor.  TheNewCute didn't think she had to, because it was a simple thing.  Well, this idiot made a big fuss about it and said he couldn't do it, and then offered to fix the arms.  Of course, the exact opposite of what she wanted.  She was super frustrated and just said forget it, and vowed to not open her mouth and ask anything ever again.  I've been there.  She's going to ask again.

Saturday, May, 6, Last night I was checking out, and jerking off to, some vintage porn movies.  This was inspired the arrival in the mail of a pair of Christy Canyon DVDs, which I purchased on eBay.  I found a website that had some pretty good vintage videos, that were not super low resolution.  I did a search for Christy.  I clicked on one of the videos, but it turned out that Christy wasn't in it.  However, her cohort, Ginger Lynn, was.  A young Ginger Lynn was perfect looking.  She was amazing in the film.  And it's funny, because the film had a plot.  The film was called "The Grafenberg spot," and obvious reference to the G-spot.  Ginger's character goes to a doctor after her boyfriend complains to her that she squirts when she cums.  Of course what comes next is just a contrivance to get people to have sex.  Sometimes the main stars of these old porn films did not have the best scene in a particular movie.  In this one Ginger was in one of the two best scenes.  Another woman had a really good scene when she gets Ginger's boyfriend to finger her until she squirts, in order to show him that it's a more common thing than he thought.  But of course, that's how you convince a man.

All of this was inspired by the purchase of some Christy Canyon videos off eBay.  She was selling some original DVDs of a pair of her movies.  I just like watching her.  But funny enough I didn't watch the movies last night.  Maybe tonight.  One film was one I had never seen or heard of, but the other was one I knew all too well.  I think I have it on VHS.  Because that's when I had my coming of age with porn, when they still sold it on VHS.  Boy, many a night did I jerk off to her and the porn stars of the nineties.  I think I'm going to like searching for some of those porn stars on the vintage porn site I found last night.

Krishna texted me around 6:30pm last night asking if I could work today.  Sure, I told her.  But I did hesitate for a moment, thinking about how I really wanted to just rest today.  But, since Pacific is such a dead branch, and to be fair the weather today is picture perfect, I knew I wouldn't have a busy day today.  I'm writing this paragraph at 4:22pm while I'm on the desk here at Pacific Park branch.  There is no one in the library except my coworker Nicole and the security guard.  It's been like this for over an hour.  Easy money.  I wish I could go home and jerk off, and drink, because that's what I really want to do.  Jerk off to the Christy Canyon film I bought, or something else.

Sunday, May, 7, Payday was Thursday, and I needed some money for gasoline.  My aunt also asked me to get some money, since her SSI check came in on Wednesday.  I went to the same US bank that I've been going to for years.  Stupid me forgot that they were closing that location, so I was a little surprised when I walked up and the ATM was gone.  I then remembered and I searched for another location.  There's one on the corner of Ventura and Van Nuys.  There were two people in line, but instead of it going fast the wait was super long.  The guy at the ATM when I arrived was taking a good long time.  It felt like he was at the machine for at least seven minutes.  Perhaps even ten minutes.  He finally left, and then the lady waiting before me took what I thought was longer than a normal transaction as well.  Nowhere near seven minutes though.  it was then my turn.  There was no one behind me, but I was determined not to stand there for another minute.  I inputed my information and asked for $340 cash.  These days the ATM will ask how you want your money, in what denominations that is to say.  I just hit the button that said give me my money.  To my shock the stupid machine gave me three one hundred dollar bills.  FUCK MY LIFE.  I'm going to have to get them changed.  ARGH!  Fucking stupid ATMs.

Monday, May, 8, Every morning that I head off to work I hear my neighbor coughing and coughing.  The father and one of the son's smoke, and the window closest to my front door belongs to the oldest son.  He's the one that smokes almost as much as his father.  Last week the area around that back door smelled of urine, but thankfully that smell is gone.  For now.  It's replaced with the smell of smoke, and the sound of coughs.  ARGH!  My neighbors were so good, but their son is the one that's become a bad neighbor.  My aunt says that she smells the cigarette smoke in her room when the neighbors are sitting in their backyard.  Something they only started doing recently, thanks to them coping me.  ARGH!

TheNewCute and the gang at Brand were collaborating on the new Asian American and Pacific Islander month display, in the tradition of the art librarian that left a couple of months ago.  Last week, when she ditched me, TheNewCute was working on looking up various designs in order to print them.  Well, today l got to see the results.  Underwhelmed was my first and only thought.  Maybe it's because the previous displays were all so good, that this one just feels blah.  I wanted to help, but it seemed like there were already too many cooks in the kitchen, so I bowed out.

I realized this long after visiting the library that the books and things on display were almost exclusively Indian, but the month is supposed to be a celebration of Asian American and Pacific Islanders, not all Asians.  Oh well.  Should I point it out to them when I go in there later in the week?  Probably not.

This picture came up on my photo feed this morning, and as you can see it's a picture of the old entrance to the Glendale library.  The picture is from 2009.  Old school.

Tuesday, May, 9, I got up and took my shower and got ready to make myself a nice breakfast.  The other day my aunt didn't like the sweet smell of bacon, so she closed her door.  As a courtesy I started to close it when I heard her stir in her bed.  The jig was up.  Moments later she was out of her room.  Just great.  Anyway, I fixed myself a breakfast burrito and as I was wrapping it up one side of the flour tortilla completely burst.  This was now an ex breakfast burrito.  Some of it fell on the floor when I tried to eat it in my room.  Fucking bullshine!

Just before I was about to leave for work my aunt comes into my room with $25 in her hand to pay me for her part of the land line telephone bill.  Fine, but I've told her numerous times that I can just transfer the money online.  She hands me a twenty dollar bill and five dollars in change.  ARGH!  The ONLY place I use coins to pay for anything is at the gasoline station.  And that's like maybe fifty cents at a time, because my gasoline bill is like $30.55 all the time.  Whatever!  For some reason her giving me all those coins made me super angry.  I told her I didn't want it in coins and she of course twists it around to say that I didn't want the money.  It's not a matter of want, it's the matter of a bill she's paying me.  Like with everything when it comes to my aunt her stubbornness prevents me from being completely happy.

I texted my old boss at San Marino about the fact that they are turning to temp agencies in order to fill the positions of Library Assistants.  She made a point by telling me that those people will likely make more money than the regular library assistants.  That's probably true.  Of course logically you may ask why not just pay the assistants more instead?  I don't know.  I guess the city doesn't want it known that they might pay their employees a fair wage.  Yeah, why pay them what they're worth?  Just sad.

Today's shift at Casa was super boring.  Thankfully it went fast.  I hardly did any real work outside of the first couple of hours when I did the book drop and the books on hold, as well as the books from delivery.  After that there was not much to do.  I basically just cruised down to the end of my shift.

Wednesday, May, 10, I got to have lunch with TheNewCute today.  It was like old times, but I did notice that she went to lunch at 12:30pm instead of 1pm.  She said she had a meeting with her supervisor at 1:30pm.  She was going to talk to her about the monthly displays that the gang were talking about last week.  The one I called underwhelming earlier in the week.  TheNewCute told me that the whole thing with the display fell apart and she tried to salvage it via the images.  But she knew it wasn't that good.  That's also because the whole group was not given enough time.  These things should be worked on about two months in advance.  June is Pride month.  That display should have been worked on back in April.  As it is, they have not worked on the June display AT ALL yet.  That's not good, and a recipe for disaster.  It's sad because a couple of weeks ago the whole gang looked like they were all gun ho to collaborate on the project.  But I guess that enthusiasm couldn't be sustained.  TheNewCute also complained about Misa not doing anything.  "What does she do all day up in the tower," she asked me.  I told her that I warned her about Misa and how she acts.  Now TheNewCute is knowing first hand.

I received a text from Mala around 1:30pm, asking if I had a few minutes, "Around 4pm for a quick check in?"  I responded with sure.  I figured it had to do with our quarterly check in, but when I got to her office she said it wasn't about that, and proceeded to tell me that I didn't get the full time position.  This did not shock me, since I've known for weeks that I wasn't going to get it.  If anything the moment was anticlimactic.  We had a little bit of small talk and then I was off.  No hard feelings, really.  I knew this was going to be the answer.  I already knew that they weren't looking for me on this one.  Hell, hiring TheNewCute showed me the writing on the wall.  And now the jig is up.  This is now sour grapes when I say this, I'm glad I didn't get the job.  I had thought yesterday that I should just bow out of the process, but they beat me to the punch. I texted Vagabundo the news, but he didn't say if they offered him the job either.  I want to check with the other person that was in the running to see if they offered him the job, because something that Mala said made me think that none of us would get the job.  She said that they were going in a "Different direction" with this position.  Like what?  Vagabundo and I mentioned that these jokers might turn the job into something different, like a librarianship or something like that.  Obviously I don't know yet, but that fact will come out soon.

TheGirl is worried that she might lose her job soon.  Her bank division does loans for multi-family units/homes.  Which means they finance apartment buildings and such.  The business has been slow, but now she was saying that the bank is going to only have fixed interest loans.  She feels that's going to kill the business.  In the past they have had variable rates, with low introductory rates that later go up, but nothing like the 5% she was saying they want to have as a fixed rate.  Even with interest rates going up, 5% is WAY too much.  She feels the bank is trying to get rid of her division, and she's afraid no one will hire her.

Thursday, May, 11, At lunch with TheNewCute yesterday she mentioned that she was going to have a meeting with Caley (her supervisor) about things.  One of those things she wanted to bring up is the artful display in the breezeway of the library.  I mentioned it before, that the old art librarian would create displays showcasing something.  It would usually be something tied to the theme of the month, like how this month is Asian American and Pacific Islanders' month.  I mentioned to her that the display was meh, and TheNewCute said that it was a clusterfuck trying to get everyone on the same page.  There were many suggestions, but little actual action.  I told her she might have to be the coordinator, but she would have to bring that prospect up to Caley.  Well, she said she did and at the end of the day nothing was resolved.  Caley basically said she would look into it.  I understand wanting to be cautious in these matters, because you don't want to step on any toes.  However, TheNewCute was saying she would take over, only that she could act as the coordinator of the overall project.  Of course that leads to a whole mess of other problems.  At the end of this all I think I'm just as frustrated as TheNewCute is after that meeting that resolved nothing.

I come to find out that none of the top three candidates got the full time library assistant job.  I texted Vagabundo yesterday and he said he didn't get the job.  That left Reneh as the only other candidate.  I got his number through the grapevine and I asked him and he said he didn't get the job either.  That was the last confirmation I needed, the fix was definitely in.  Like I had a doubt after TheNewCute got the Brand job.  I guess these assholes upstairs think it's fun to play around with people's emotions, since they hung us out to dry.  I know this was my last chance at getting full time employment here at Glendale.  Truth.

Gitmo came to me as my shift ended tonight and told me that Mala had a meeting with him.  Those words never come before any good news.  The results of the meeting pertaining to me was something similar to what she was talking to me about my overall hours.  I'm working forty hours a week, but the last six weeks I've been working on Saturdays.  Which, as I've said many times before, means overtime.  Beginning in June I will work Tuesdays from 9am to 3pm.  All the other days will stay the same.  Cool.  The loss of any hours suck, but at the same time two hours isn't going to bust me up too much.  Yes, that does add up.  That's eight hours less a month, times $26 an hour is $208 less a month.  Not awful, but it is something.  I don't have any doubt that I will be back to forty or more hours a week fairly soon.  Vagabundo said that he's sure more part time dopes are going to be leaving.  Yeah, that leaves me left standing.

As I just said, Gitmo told me that beginning in June I'll be working until to 3pm, not 5pm.  I thought that perhaps I should use those two hours to go take pictures somewhere, like when I was working at the Brand library.  Back then I was getting off work at around 1pm (I honestly don't remember what time I was working until).  Back then I would go somewhere close to take some pictures, like that one day that I went to Little Tokyo.  Yeah, I think I'll try to find some spots that are close by to photograph.  Good idea.

Friday, May, 12, JoKwin came into circulation a few moments after I arrived.  He asked me if I got the job and I told him no.  He was surprised and a little peeved.  I told him that I found out that none of us got the job.  He knew who "Us" meant.  Then he asked if I knew who it was.  No.  I joked that it was USC, and he gave a half chuckle.  He then told me that Mala had talked to him about sharing his desk with the new hire.  He thought it would be me, and said sure.  He went on to say that Mala mentioned the new person would be doing outreach.  Fucking outreach?!  The marketing person in administration has four people working under her.  But I guess that's not enough, she needed a full time dummy too.  Just amazing.  There ya have it, the super fix was in.

I think about where this full time job saga started so many months ago and where it has ended and it's interesting.  It all started with Henrick leaving the Brand library for a job with the Census.  That left that position open, and of course we know the story that TheNewCute got the job.  But I think back at the initial interview with all those people that were trying to get the job and I think about how cruel it is to put us all through that only to not get the job.  And look, I understand that when you try for a job you are more likely not to get it.  In this case none of us, except the already chosen, aka TheNewCute, had any chance at getting these jobs.  I think of how much time I wasted preparing for the questions when I could have just winged it.  How TheNewCute and I were coaching each other, and for what?  She had that job walking in.  I had nothing.  The dozens of candidates that went there for an interview, with the earnest belief that if they did well on the interview they might get hired.  It wasn't true.  It was all a lie.  Perpetrated just so it appears that they didn't preordained that TheNewCute had the job in her pocket.  And then the added bonus of reminding me that I had a chance at the Grigor job, when I didn't have chance for that one either.  The added bonus is that they could have just changed the job and not had us even interview for that.  I wonder now if by having that second interview I'm currently not on the "list" for possible hires.  Because this mythical list is supposed to give me the next best chance at the next job.  But if by giving me that second interview I'm not eligible for the next job interview, then I know that these motherfuckers upstairs set me up.  Actually, I don't need that confirmation.  I know they set me up.  They set us all up for failure.  Fuck them.

Vivian asked me to help her out with the storytime in the park, and today was the last one we will do for a few weeks.  It was chill, now that I have a hold of what we are doing.  Vivian knew about me going out for the full time position.  I didn't tell her that I didn't get it, but in a way I did by telling her today that I'm free to help.  She was talking about dates for future story times in the park until September.  Yeah, I'll still be driving then.  Unless I win the lotto.

I arrived at the Brand library a little after 12:30pm to find that TheNewCute was already at lunch.  She was eating at her desk.  So despite my efforts to get to Brand earlier today I still didn't get to have lunch with her.  But what gets me is that she doesn't text me to say, "What time is lunch," like she used to do.  It's almost as if she doesn't want to have lunch with me anymore.  Though on Wednesday it was like old times.  I should really just get over myself already, because I don't have a claim on TheNewCute's time.  If the timing works out from now on and we get to have lunch at the same time, cool.  If not, cool.  I think I'm going to have a lot more lunches on the Brand lawn.

Saturday, May, 13, After working six Saturdays in a row I finally got a Saturday off today.  Certainly Mala putting the kabash on me working overtime helped in that arena.  It's fine, I really needed the rest.  I was pooped from work this week.  I didn't do anything today.  Nothing but be in my backyard watching videos.  I watched a movie called "Someone I used to know."  It wasn't bad.

Sunday, May, 14, I was gifted three cameras a couple of weeks ago.  Two of them by my friend Greg, and one by TheNewCute.  Last week I tried out the one that Greg gave me and it didn't work.  The mirror got stuck in the up position.  OK.  Today I tried to install film into the Pentax that TheNewCute gave me on Wednesday.  Sure enough, it doesn't work either.  The shutter doesn't reset.  I took the film out, because there's no use trying to take pictures with these things.  I suppose I can try to see if the third camera works.  It's a Minolta.

It was nice to have two days off this weekend.  It really makes a difference to have the two days off.

Monday, May, 15, The other day I was looking for my DMV renewal on my desk and I could not find it.  I looked everywhere and I could not find it.  I had to look online to see if they could do my smog test without that paperwork.  Nothing online could answer the question, so I was going to call the smog testing place tomorrow to see if they needed the renewal paperwork.  But, thankfully I found the renewal notice in a magazine that came in the mail the same day.  Whew!  Now I can go and have my smog check.

The route today was pretty darn chill.  I hate to say it, but going up to Chevy first thing in the morning kinda makes the rest of the day easier.  I think that I'll continue doing that after I don't have to officially have to go up there to turn on the lights and close the bathroom doors.  Nice!

This is why I shouldn't jump to conclusions when it comes to TheNewCute not wanting to have lunch with me.  I checked the desk schedule at Brand, something I told myself I would do oner and over again for weeks.  Well, I finally did it and it clearly shows that she has to go to lunch earlier on Fridays because she's supposed to be on the desk at 1pm.  Wednesdays are still 2pm, so that means she can have lunch at 1pm.  The thing is, I have the flexibility on the route where I can be there at noon on Friday.  Maybe I'll let her know that, because I do miss our lunches.

Tuesday, May, 16, It was another slow shift today at Casa, but this is typical of working at Casa Verdugo.  Thankfully the day didn't crawl.  It went pretty fast.  I was home before I knew it.

You know what gets me, unoriginality.  The firemen display this in spades.  If you look at any parking lot for fire stations you will see an abundance of trucks in those parking lots.  Case in point the parking lot that we share with the fire station next door.  Here are but two of the trucks that are frequently parked back there.  Notice anything?  They are almost the same truck.  And this isn't the only time I've seen this.  It's like the firemen all go to the same car dealership.  And they all seem to drive the same type of car, which is nearly always a stupid large truck.  What also gets me is how clean these trucks are.  It's like they're not even used for the purpose they are meant to be serving.. Hauling.  The beds are pristine.

I fixed myself lunch on Sunday, which consisted of hot dogs and potatoes, just like my Grandmother used to make.  Only they didn't come out tasting like the ones my Grandmother used to make.  I think I shouldn't have used tomato paste.  I had a combination of paste and sauce, but next time I think I'll just use tomato sauce.  Perhaps I can do something to doctor it up and sorta fix the flavor a little.  What the problem is is that it tastes too much like tomato paste.  Kinda acidic.  I need to find a way to cut that acidic taste.

TheNewCute sent me a text inviting me to lunch tomorrow.  I showed in an earlier entry how she is kinda stuck dealing with her scheduled desk time on Friday, so she can't join me for lunch at 1pm.  But I guess I should tell her that I don't have to wait until 1pm to have lunch.  I can move a little faster and make it to lunch at 12pm.  But, I also don't want to impose my company on her.  For now I'm just going to enjoy her company on Wednesdays, since that day she goes to lunch at 1pm.

Wednesday, May, 17, Vagabundo pointed out a mistake in the weekly email from DrDeath.  He showed me that the title of these bullet points was spelled wrong.  Blingual instead of bilingual.  Good job, dopes.  They have a whole committee writing these emails.  How does this happen?  Whatever, it's funny when it does.  And it happens all the time.

When I walked into work today I found a box on the desk where the full timer is supposed to be seated.  It was full of the computer accessories that go along with that computer monitor.  I commented this to Raffi and he told me that the new person is going to start by the end of the month.  Ah huh.  A couple of weeks and we'll know, definitively, who got the job.  If it was either of the two others that were up for the job, I'll know that one of them is a liar.  But what's really going to happen is that it's going to be someone from outside.

TheNewCute got a two for one special on orange chicken from a local Chinese restaurant, so she told me not to bring lunch today because today lunch was going to be on her.  She wasn't kidding about having enough food to feed a family of four.  We each took our share and warmed it up in the microwave.  Good times.  It was nice to have a lunch with TheNewCute.  It would seem that fate has deemed it that we only get a Wednesday lunch together.  As I'v said before, what we had before was a unique work occurrence, never to be repeated again.

I was up at Chevy, so I took the advantage to talk to Kerri about this whole situation.  I told her that it appeared that none of the top three candidates got the Grigor job.  She immediately knew that was shady.  She said that we have to wait to see who did get the job.  If we come to find out it wasn't any of us then there are avenues we can explore.  We will have to wait and see.

She pointed out that if I took any action on the city, for unfair labor practices, then I could be blacklisted by the dopes in administration.  In a way I'm already blacklisted.  As I pointed out before, this whole thing shows that I'm already on some blacklist.  Be it because of age, or whatever, there is no way I'll be honestly considered for any full time jobs.  Only reason I was this time is because I scored just high enough to get a second interview on the second job, not even on the Brand job.  Whatever, I'll figure things out.  I already said it, I have it good on the route.  If I keep getting my 5% raise every year from here until who knows what, I'll be good.  Still need to make some contingency plans though.

The best part of the week is the Wednesday night dinners with the gang: TheGirl, Cheyenne, and of course Chan.  Tonight we went to the Smokehouse.  I really love the Reuben sandwich there.  They supposedly charge more, but I don't care.  We also got the artichoke dip to start off the dinner.  It is also super yummy.  To think up to just four years ago I had not had artichoke dip before.  They brought me my sandwich and feeling good from the Manhattan I mentioned to TheGirl that I should have said no pickle, since I don't like pickles.  But, then I thought to myself, I should give them another chance.  I chomped down on it and took a bite of my sandwich and it was pretty darn good.  I may have to give pickles another chance.  I know I like relish, sweet relish, on hamburgers.  The old Carl's Jr. burgers used to put some sort of sweet relish on top.  Those burgers only exist in the past.  Today's Carl's is really bad.  Bob's Big Boy also made their double decker burgers with sweet relish on top.  For a long time I didn't want it on the burger, but I do appreciate it now.

After dinner we went around the block to give Cheyenne a walk.  I went home feeling really good.  One thing I need to work on is driving home on a Wednesday night.  Some idiot will trigger me, and since I'm coming down from the booze I get a little extra brave.  Tonight there was a point where I was speeding along at 80 MPH. I've told myself in the past to slow it down.  That getting mad at the dopes on the road isn't worth my life.  I do for a while, and then some idiot will cut me off and I'll get angry and start to drive a little more aggressively.  For the sake of Chan and myself I'm going to force myself to fucking slow down.

Thursday, May, 18, couldn't pluck.  I even tried using my trimmer to cut the hair but I had no luck.  Well, today I finally got it.  What was the deal is that it was on the outer lobe and I was aiming for the inside of the ear.  I finally plucked it!  It's just another battle in the ongoing battle against ear hair.

Thursdays at Casa are what I now call the "Zombie shift."  I call it that because it's just a long shift that makes me feel lifeless.  I was so sleepy throughout my shift today.

I keep saying it's at least easy money, and it really is easy.  I would rather be a little bored than having to do hard labor like digging a ditch all day.  Especially now that the temperatures are getting warmer.  I'll take boredom over that any day of the week.

I was also able to make my lunch taste better.  I put a little sriracha and mixed it in, and boy did it make it taste much better.  It almost totally neutralized the acidic taste it has.  Score one for the kid here.

Friday, May, 19, It was a pretty chill route today, despite the fact that there were a lot of bins going out to the branches.  When I returned to Central after going to City Hall three people independently asked me if I had seen TheLooker.  No, why would I?  They all said that she had visited yesterday (Thursday).  OK, fine For some reason, I know why, everyone associates me with her.  And it's because we were pals when she still worked here.  I'm sure some people thought we might even be sleeping with each other, since I do have the reputation since the time of TheGirl.  If they only knew that I was trying to go out with TheLooker and it all fell apart.  I do wonder what it will be like when I do eventually run into her somewhere.  Will I mention the whole Huntington thing?  She may say something like, "Let's do it," and then ghost me again.  Whatever!

I was leaving Grandview when I looked over to check before pulling out of the driveway.  To my left I noticed a box truck in front of the school.  It was the box truck I've seen when I go pick up the summer lunches at the high school.  I had flashbacks to the past summer lunch programs and I wished that they would tell me we're not doing it this year.  I'm going to have to ask Gitmo if they are.  I think it's a waste of all of our time and effort, because so few lunches actually get eaten.  Most are tossed in the name of feeding children.  If the goal was to do that then we have failed over and over, year after year.

TheNewCute sent me a text via our work client telling me that she was having lunch early, because she needed to be on the desk at 1pm.  I asked her if she wanted company, and she said that I could join her if I wanted.  She was going to watch Resident Evil 2.  When I got to Brand she told me that she forgot her laptop, so no movie.  I busted out my iPad and found it on Netflix.  Ta da!  The movie is so so, but fun.  Once again, the kid here saves the day.

TheNewCute is funny, she was saying to me that we have to be on our best behavior at the picnic on Sunday.  This stems from the issues our coworker Aurora is having with Grimace.  Grimace has gone to HR with several complaints, one being that Aurora and Gitmo are always flirting with each other.  Grimace even mentioned that to me.  TheNewCute said that she doesn't want to get fired before she passes probation, so no hugs, no touching, no nothing until she's past that.  She wants to avoid what she coined as "HR moments."  But then Misa brought up that the Brand library is on a list of top ten places to make out in Los Angeles.  TheNewCute said she has seen a lot of people making out around the grounds.  Someone mentioned the gallery had a dead spot where the cameras can't see.  Stacie was standing next to me, so I grabbed her hand as if to take her to that spot to make out.  Everyone laughed but TheNewCute shook her head while laughing.  HR moments!  Sunday is going to be interesting.

Misa came up to the desk after lunch and asked me about the full time job.  I haven't told her anything yet.  I haven't told TheNewCute either.  I'm not sure what I'm waiting for.  I've said that I will tell anyone I didn't get the job when they ask.  But for some reason I didn't tell Misa when she asked today.  I just told her I would tell her later.

Saturday, May, 20, I jerk off nearly every night, but especially on the weekends.  That's when I have more time to drink and jerk off.  I obviously close my bedroom door while I'm engaged in that.  But right outside my door is the living room.  And for some reason my aunt likes to lurk around at night and stare out the sliding door.  I think she hears something outside and wants to investigate.  I'm not sure what she would do with that information, but she looks out anyway.  I don't turn off my notifications on my phone during my little weekend sessions, so I get the notification right in the middle of the act that she's in the living room looking out.  ARGH!  As I said, I don't know what she thinks she's going to do if she does see someone outside.  Call 911?  Knock on my door?

I got my aunt and I some Burger King breakfast this morning.  They serve tiny tot hash browns instead of patties.  It doesn't matter what kind of hash browns I get her, she almost never finishes her hash browns.  Today is a good example of that.  I ate a few of the tots and then turned the container around towards me.  Sigh.

On the weekends I pretty much spend most of my time in my backyard, specifically my bench.  I sit there and I lay there.  It's the laying that has become a problem, because of how I lay my head on the pillow I have.  It's all wrong.  My head sits right over the metal arm rest, and my left shoulder takes more weight than it should.  It isn't a coincidence that the left upper part of my head, and my left shoulder, hurts.  I need a better pillow, and to move my head to a new position.  Today I moved my head away from the armrest and it helped.

Sunday, May, 21, I normally don't attend any of the work events that they try to pawn off as team building events.  However, I had the bright idea that a bunch of us could go to a bar afterward and have a little fun.  This was a good opportunity for that, since we rarely get together as a group since the start of Covid.  The picnic was good, with some good food and of course good company.  I arrived fashionably late, at around 11:30am.  Most of the gang was already there.  I got to meet some of my coworker's relation.  I finally got to meet ThrNewCute's boyfriend.  We were joking on Friday that he wasn't real.  Then I said that more likely he was like Mr. Snuffleupagus, never seen, but he did exist.  Sure enough, there he was in the flesh.  He seems like a good guy, but a little shy.

After the picnic seemed to be winding down Emma asked if we were going to get drinks.  YES, I said.  And with that our little group was off to get drinks.  I had told TheNewCute about drinks after, but she left with her beau earlier.  I texted he and told her it wasn't too late.  But it was, she said she had to do her laundry and that her "Social battery" had run out.  I get that, it was a warn, and humid, day that did sap my energy as well.  Booze was my fuel after the picnic.

After drinking I went to the market and bought only a few things.  My aunt made me about eight enfrijoladas, which I'll use for lunch this coming week.

Monday, May, 22, There was a really bad accident this morning on the 405.  Thanks to that accident traffic all around my house was a clusterfuck.  It took me more than twenty minutes to get onto the freeway.  I was twenty minutes late to work.  ARGH!

This is an accounting of the accident from an article on KTLA dot-com.

Officials said the crash occurred around 3:30 a.m. near Sunset Boulevard and involved four to five cars. One person, a pedestrian, was pronounced dead at the scene.

Sgt. Steve Esquivel of the California Highway Patrol said the presence of the pedestrian is still under investigation.

"We don't know exactly what led to the pedestrian walking - At some point, they either got out of a vehicle or they were [walking] on the 405 Freeway," he said.

It will be interesting to find out what that person was doing walking on the freeway.  It could be someone from one of the cars, but I will say that I see more and more homeless people walking on the freeway these days.  It was only a matter of time that one of them would get hit.  If that is the case in this accident.  Either way, the accident made me late.

The new person is coming soon, and more people have gotten wind of that fact.  This is why several people asked me when I was starting.  I told all of them that I didn't get the job.  Everyone that asks me thinks that I should have gotten the job.  Alas, things aren't that simple.  Things are that fair.  We shall know soon enough.  One thing that I did find interesting is Vagabundo's response to me telling him that there might be some legal issues if they didn't pick one of us who were supposedly the top three candidates left.  He told me, "Whatever you all do just keep my name out of it."  If it's him the knowledge will be known.  If it's Reneh, same thing.  I so hope neither of them is lying to me.  It would, of course, hurt more if I found out Vagabundo lied to me about this.  I might have to stop being his friend.

I had my quarterly check in meeting scheduled with Mala today.  Thankfully Central was hectic by the time it was 4pm.  Mala asked if we could postpone our meeting.  Postpone it forever, for all I care.  These meeting are completely useless to me.  They suck.  She rescheduled for two weeks from now.  Wish it was two years.

Tuesday, May, 23, We have had printing issues at Casa for weeks.  The one IT guy at the library has not been able to help us fix it, despite his efforts.  I couldn't take it any longer.  I took it upon myself to try to fix the problem.  I went ahead and copied the IP address for the printer in the back and used that to search for the printer.  There were other things I did, but suffice to say I was finally able to print from the desk computer at Casa.

The other driver, Tony, called out sick today.  That probably means a lot of bins tomorrow.  ARGH, I'm dreading that.  Hopefully it won't be too bad though.

Today was one of those days in scheduling where I'm the only one left standing.  Gitmo wanted to ask me to stay longer, but he can't.  His hands are tired in the matter, because I already work forty hours a week.  Anything over that is of course overtime.  They don't want to pay me any more overtime.  As I've said before, overtime for me is about $40 an hour now.  I'm worth it, but they can't pay it, supposedly.  They claim poverty all the time.  But then magically money appears when they need it.  Or when they have slush funds for their pet projects.  Today four people in the Casa/Grandview crews called out.  One could not come because of an injury.  Two could not come in because of child issues.  And one was sick.  That pretty much covers it all.  And at the end I'm the one left standing, but I'm the one person that can't stay.  Such horse shit.

Wednesday, May, 24, There's that saying about many a truth is said in jest.  I make jokes at work about USC getting the job, but it's not really a joke.  It's couched as a joke, but I'm probably covering up how I really feel by joking about it.  But, when I say the joke about everyone hired now is from USC it does come from a true place.  They hired the new guy, for what we call the Grigor job, and they announced it in the middle of the week.  Here is the text from the email announcing what I already knew... that he is from USC.

Please join me in welcoming Albert Austin to the GLAC Team! Albert is a graduate from the MMLIS program at USC and was working as a library technician at SDCL before moving to Los Angeles.  One of the first things he did when moving to the area was check out local libraries and quickly got a card at our own GLAC library card.  He enjoys reading, writing, and playing video games with friends.  Albert will be joining the Library InfoSpace Team as a Library Assistant and will also be supporting other departments/sites as needed.  His first day will be Tuesday, May 30.

There is so much wrong with this email.  First off, administration's continued stupidity in insisting on calling us, "the GLAC team."  No one calls us that.  Only the idiots upstairs.  Then of course is the fact that this guy is from USC.  Lastly the stupid name for InfoSpace bullshit.  I wish someone would define what that means.

There is some satisfaction in predicting this correctly, because so many people were telling me good luck, and, "you got the job."  Incorrect, Kemosahbee.  Being right is my only consolation in this matter.  I sent Michelle a picture of the guy and she thinks he'll be gone soon.  I picked up on the same vibe that Michelle did.  Mind you, he submitted that picture for us to see.  Time will tell many things.

I went to graphics and picked up TheNewCute's business cards.  Of course they had to get something wrong, what with her surname being hyphenated.  They didn't hyphenate it, so now it looks like the first part of her surname is her middle name.  Fail!

Ilsa and I exchange voice messages during the day.  She sometimes seems to not be listening to what I say. Other times she will just change the subject, and ignore some point I made on a previous voice message.  I usually don't care, but today she said something that made zero sense.  She said that I would have had a better chance at the now filled full time job if I had quit my job first (see text above).  I've told her many times that I was NEVER in the running for the job.  What good would it have done to quit first?  I wouldn't have a job now.  Her statement pissed me off quite a bit, because to me it meant she didn't hear what I had said about this job.  From now on I'll keep my messages about frivolous things.

TheGirl suggested we go to the Auld Chip shop in Burbank.  I'm alway game to go there.  Their fish and chips is amazing.  TheGirl brought a bottle of wine for us to share, and we were off to the races.  I was ravenous tonight.  I ordered the two fish and chip plate, and a side of onion rings.  Then for dessert TheGirl ordered an apple pie a la mode.  I was so full.  Even our after dinner walk didn't help me feel less full.

On my way home I felt so full, and like I was going to throw up.  But, I fought the feeling.  I had a bit of a hard time falling asleep because I continued to feel like throwing up.  At one point I dry heaved, and I ran to the bathroom to vomit.  But all that came out was a huge air burp and that was that.  The nauseous feeling dissipated after that.  And then I was able to sleep.  Well, not quite.  I was feeling really warm, so I turned on the fan.  I don't know what came over me.

Thursday, May, 25, I received an email from the Chevy branch manager that they installed timers on the lights at Chevy now.  Which means I don't have to make that trek first thing in the morning anymore.  Why they couldn't figure this out earlier I don't know.  I think I'll still make Chevy my first stop on the route, but I think I have to modify other things.  The way I've been doing the route lately is good, but I want to free up more time for lunch.  Also, I need to get on the road earlier in the morning.  I'll try some changes on Friday, to see how they work out.

My aunt believes many things on faith.  Like her religion.  But this isn't about her silly religion, it's about the toilet.  She believes the seal on the bottle of the toilet is breaking.  I checked it, it's not.  What it is is that she uses the cold water I collect while showering in the toilet to flush things down.  She often slips and spills some on the ground.  I've said this a bunch of times in the past.  A few times she was right, it was leaking.  But it's not now, but she believes it is because she's clumsy.  So I've gone to not leaving any water for her to use in the toilet.  I collect the cold water and then I use that water at the end of my shower to tidy up the shower.  You know, to remove the soap that may be on the doors and walls.  Let's just see how leaky the toilet is after not having any water to spill.  If there I water down there then she's right.  If not, she's wrong.

Friday, May, 26, The route today was pretty chill.  Since I don't have the treasury run I can take my time in the morning.  When I came back from the route Tony informed me that he was asked to train the new guy on the route.  Ohhh kaaaay.  They didn't ask me, even though I have been driving for eleven years.  Even though I have trained all the drivers after me.  But you know what?  I'm happy not training the new guy.  I'll just do my thing on the route.  Tony told me that they want the new guy to be the back-up driver.  That's good.  I think Tony's absence earlier in the week reminded the idiots upstairs that we don't have a back-up driver.  We haven't for YEARS. 

I'm not quite sure that this new guy is going to like being the back-up driver.  Something tells me they didn't tell him about this development.  They did me dirty, but that doesn't mean that they won't do this guy dirty.  I almost guarantee it.

Saturday, May, 27, I don't understand my aunt at all.  I bought breakfast from Taco Bell today.  I usually get my aunt a breakfast burrito with potatoes.  For the last few times that I've bought her that burrito she has left bits of egg outside for the birds to eat.  Like why can't she eat this little amount of eggs?  It's like two spoonfuls of egg.  It's hardly anything, but she can't eat it.  Whatever.

Talia and I were texting each other and I wanted to know how she was doing, because she won't tell me on her own.  She went on a tangent about child protective services.  She claimed that they were trafficking children.  That's whatever.  She did tell me once again that she is not going to have surgery, because it's dangerous.  She still thinks she's going to have a baby.  Yeah, no.  She complains that she is bleeding, and doesn't think how that can't be good for her overall health.  Whatever.  I can't continue to care.  I have a bad feeling about how this is going to end.

I saw something on social media and it reminded me that I hadn't bought tickets to the Hollywood Bowl.  I went online and found that the concert I was interested in was practically sold out.  Only the nosebleed seats were available, and I don't want to seat up there.  My second choice had better seats, but TheGirl said that she already has plans for that day.  That's that.  We do have tickets to the Starlight Bowl in Burbank, so that will be our summer outing.  It's cool.  There are a couple of other things I was interested on the Bowl schedule, but because of my schedule I wouldn't be able to make them.  There's always next year.

Sunday, May, 28, The grapevine that is between my house and my neighbor's house is currently providing cover for when we are both in our respective backyards.  Last year my neighbors discovered their backyard.  Sadly they have chosen to sit in the proximity of where I sit.  They speak loudly and smoke like chimneys.  It's completely annoying.  My aunt had the gardeners move a small tree to provide cover.  Now the grapevine is adding to that cover.  I bought a portable wall, but I haven't assembled it yet.  I think I'll still do it, because I still need cover.

I really wish I could day drink.  I could really use a drink on the weekends, aside from doing it at night as I jerk off.  Alas, it won't happen any time soon.

Monday, May, 29, I interacted with the pretty self checkout cashier lady today.  It was for a moment, to be sure, but nice.  I hadn't seen her in a few weeks, which sucks.  I don't ever want to be THAT guy, but I would like to ask her out.  Hell, I would like to have a little bit of a conversation other than, "Is everything OK," with her.  Alas.

I must give off a vibe when I find a woman attractive, because I sometimes get this thing that happens.  Perhaps it's the way I look at them.  Maybe they catch that I find them attractive by how long I look towards them.  Or a sixth sense?  I know when I would go to Pasadena I was super attracted to TheBetter, but she never even said hello to me.  She looked straight ahead and never, ever, in my direction.  Or maybe I'm just that hideous, like a Frankensteinian monster.  It's probably a combination of all these things.

Which means I have zero chance with this woman, or any woman for that matter.  Sigh.

Tuesday, May, 30, The new guy started work today.  I couldn't help to send JoKwin a text message to see how his new desk mate was doing.  We texted back and forth.  Then the revelation that the new guy was being shown around by Sarah.  Remember, she's also from USC.  Well, that cuts it, he's the chosen one.  I am leaning towards nicknaming him Anakin.

Later Bryan told me that Mala was escorting the new guy around.  Yeah, this guy is being groomed for something.  I was going to say that I didn't get any other reports, but Tony did tell me that he was told that he's going to show the new guy the route next week.  He said that he would rather I do it, but of course these dopes didn't even ask me.  I don't care to do it anyway.  Besides, I don't want him riding with me and ruining my good time.

I'll get to met the new guy tomorrow.  People are giving me their opinion on this new guy and the results are not good.  All I do know for sure is that this guy is here because they want him here.

Wednesday, May, 31, I got to met the new guy today.  My first impression isn't good.  I texted Vagabundo saying the following.

"I don't see how this guy is going to do outreach because talking to them is like talking to a doorstop."

Yeah, that was my first impression.  It's early yet, of course, but what I saw today was a guy that isolated himself from all my coworkers.  JoKwin said that he walked into Circulation and said good morning, and that everyone acknowledged him, but not the new guy.  He didn't answer.  Not good.

I had a special delivery today, which consisted of large cutout posters, for lack of a better name.  The thing that made delivery difficult is that the children's librarian and the marketing lady assembled them cutouts with this large weight at the bottom, because they thought it would be too hard for the people at the branches to figure it out.  Because they had this base I couldn't fit all of them in the van at the same time.  Which meant I could only take four of these cutouts at a time.  ARGH!  It made for a shitting route today.  I'm sure the new guy won't have to deal with this shit.

I wasn't sure that I could make it to Brand to have lunch with TheNewCute, but I somehow did.  I was a little late, but we got to talk a bit in the kitchen.  Good times.  We were talking about the new guy.  She was also texting JoKwin about this new guy, so we got to compare notes on that.  I also told her what Michelle said about him, and that I was texting Vagabundo that many people in circulation think this guy is a snitch.  I laughed and at that moment she took a picture of me and sent it to Vagabundo.  So I took a picture of her and said I would send it to him.  The first two pictures were not of her flipping me off, but the third was and I sent him that one.  Ha ha!  Good times was had.  The problems of the route melted away.

Today is the anniversary of TheGirl taking Cheyenne home from the rescue.  Tomorrow will be the anniversary of me meeting Cheyenne.  Nine years.  Like TheGirl said today, where did the time go?  We've had Chan for eleven year in September.  Where does the time go, indeed.