As the headline says, September has been a cruel month.  The update will tell you why.

Sunday, September 1, I think one of the things that pisses me off about how my aunt acts is that she is often more concerned with what others think.  As I write this my aunt came up to my door and sheepishly told me, "Remember, your uncle is coming at 9 (am).  I just turned away, didn't even respond.  Yes, I know.  Hence me leaving my Sunday alarm on.  So I could be awake.  Earlier I caught her on the security camera looking into my car.  She does this all the time, and I wonder if she's thinking she's going to find some empty liquor bottle on the driver's seat.  Or a bunch of drugs and used condoms.

I wasn't feeling well after we came back from visiting my Godmother, so I went to bed to take a nap.  When I woke up I went to the bathroom and found my aunt making tuna salad in the kitchen.  The second I saw the mixture I knew it was going to be bullshit.  Sure enough, later I took a few spoonfuls onto a plate and confirmed that the tuna salad was absolutely horrid.  My aunt takes the easy way out of cooking.  I know she's tired, but then don't attempt something if you're just going to fuck it up.  She has this thing where she washes the celery and onions with too much water.  Then she adds the mayo to the onion and celery.  There is a way to do these things, and combining wet with dry isn't right.  Suffice to say, the mixture (seen above) was nothing but a shit show.  It had zero taste.  Actually, all I could taste was the horrible butt of the celery.  Once again, thanks for nothing.  I don't plan on eating any more of that shit tuna salad.

Monday, September 2, I was super lazy today.  I spent more than half of the day in bed just laying there enjoying the fact that I didn't have to go to work today.  Tomorrow is a different story, but at least this week is a shortened week.  It's going to be a little bit of a strange week as well.  No work today was awesome.  Tomorrow back to Glendale.  Wednesday San Marino but no traditional Wednesday night dinner with TheGirl, for some reason.  I forget exactly why.  But then Thursday the route, afterward having dinner with TheGirl.  Yes, so out of sequence.  Then Friday off to hang out with Emma at Disneyland.  Then Saturday off.  Busy week already, and it's only Monday.  But at least I got to just rest and not do anything.

I took a few minutes today to check out some videos online about the food at Disneyland.  Emma already has reservations for the new cantina at Star Wars land, and DCA for dinner.  Emma mentioned that she loves to try many of the foods at Disneyland, but feels bad because she just wants a taste and hates tossing the rest.  That's my dilemma as well.  When I go I want to try so many of the good foods there, but then paying the prices they charge and tossing half or more than half of the food is wrong.  First, throwing away food while there are people that are starving is just wrong.  I hate doing it when I've had to do it.  Second, the amount of money I would spend on food in a day would be excessive.  But, the good thing is that with Emma and our coworker in tow we can try more things.  Maybe Emma will be my food buddy at Disneyland.  I'd like her to be more than a buddy, obviously.  But that's also up to me to stop being a fat fuck.  Time will tell.

The picture above is of a fish sandwich I want to try at one of my favorite restaurants in Disneyland, Hungry Bear.  The video I watched that featured it is made by a couple that goes and tries all the food at the park.  I discovered the channel online a few years ago, and he still comes up with great content.  I think that Emma would like our combined Instagram feed to be as popular.  Well, maybe this is a chance to get to that point.

Tuesday, September 3, I was ready to be on the desk today, but of course LunaTick called out "sick," AGAIN!  Last week I joked with FireGirl that LunaTick would not show up and that I would have to make sure to bring my route clothes with me this week just in case.  Sure enough, the prediction came true... LunaTick was a no show.  As my buddy said, "So predictable."  I fucking hate this guy so much.  He's a piece of shit.  When Kvon texted me this morning to tell me that I would be driving I texted back to him, "Clearly this guy doesn't want this job."  Because clearly he only wants to show up to work when he wants to.  Well, fuck that guy.  I hate that I've become HIS back-up, because these idiots can't hire a reliable person.  Maybe there's no such thing.

And of course the day he calls out is the day the transmission on the van decides to take a dump and fail.  I got on the freeway and when I put the hammer down to accelerate nothing happened.  The engine revved up, but the transmission never gripped.  I was able to limp off the freeway and then slowly limp back to the city garage, where I told them about the transmission problem.  They gave me a loaner van and I was on my way.  It was already a tiring morning, and it wasn't even 10am.

I don't want to just chalk it up to me being a horny bastardo, but every time I see Emma wearing a tight dress I'm surprised how attracted I am to her figure.  I keep saying this, and I'm going to try and stop repeating myself, because at this point it's even boring me.  Yes, she's cute.  Yes, I want to sleep with her.  Yes, I'm a fat fuck.  Yes, she seems to have somehow taken a shine to me.  Yes, I understand it may be completely platonic.  Yes, yes, and yes, I understand it could just be she's interested in me as only a friend.  I still want her though.

Wednesday, September 4, TheGirl went up to Lake Arrowhead today, so that meant no traditional Wednesday night dinner this week.  As I said in a previous entry, she asked if we could have Wednesday dinner on Thursday this week.  Of course, I told her.  But because of that I didn't feel like brining Chan to work with me.  And you know what?  It was WAY different not having Chan with me today.  It was like I was missing something, because of course I was missing my best little monkey.  I gave hims a hug when I got home and told hims he smells like a monkey.  Which is what I always tell hims.

I looked into the fridge this morning and nothing in it looked appealing for my lunch at work today.  I decided to just say fuck it and buy something at the market on my way to work.  I just couldn't take ANOTHER day of eating bland spaghetti.  I'm so tired of spaghetti.  But that's all my aunt ever makes.  There was also NO WAY I was going to eat that horrible tuna salad she made.  No thanks.

TheGirl was up somewhere today, which meant we couldn't have our traditional Wednesday night dinner.  But, I still needed to maintain a certain life pattern, as well as having some sort of meal.  When I was at work I looked and looked online for a good place to eat dinner.  I found a place in NoHo that looked promising.  Well, I should have known that this place was not going to be OK.  Suffice to say the burger looks good, but it didn't taste as good as it looked.  I won't be back.

Thursday, September 5, When I looked into the fridge this morning nothing that was in there appealed to me for lunch.  My aunt made some rice, and I figured I would just eat that for lunch.  It wasn't filling, but it kinda hit the spot.  Next time I need to take at least twice as much.  Nothing that I eat these days taste all that great, so I figured I might as well just fill up on rice and lose some weight in the process.

The route today was hard because of the stupid heat mixed with humidity.  I've told many people this week that the weather was not as humid when I was young.  Yes, it was hot.  These days it seems that the heat comes packed with a lot of humidity.  Which makes for an absolutely unpleasant time anywhere.

Just as I was getting to Central I received a text message from my cousin saying I should call her.  I did, and she told me that my aunt was sick and that she felt she should take her to the emergency room.  I deferred to her judgement and told her I would met her there as soon as I finished up work.  I was up at the hospital in just under an hour and by that time they already had her in the emergency room.  The photo above is of my cousin and her father carrying my aunt out to the car to take her to the hospital.

I spent the next few hours with my aunt in the ER and then another part of the ER as they treated her for pneumonia and a possible UTI.  How many times have I had to be in the ER and/or the hospital with a loved one?  WAY too many times.

Friday, September 6, There was no way I was going to be able to go to Disneyland with Emma and her coworker from Montrose.  Even though it would have been damn nice to be seen with two nice ladies.  Especially Emma.  Remember how a few entries ago I mentioned how I was going to finally be one of those guys that had a pretty Asian girl in tow?  Well, clearly the Universe hates my guts, because something always comes along these days to fucking block any of my plans.  I can't do SHIT, because something will be put up as an obstacle to prevent THAT thing from happening.  I'm so damn tired of it.  I should have ben having fun with Emma at Disneyland today.  My aunt shouldn't be suffering from Pneumonia.  Thankfully Emma said she wants to hang out.  I sure hope that translates into something deeper.  And super thankfully my aunt is on the mends.

As I just said, my aunt is on the mends.  The pumped her full of antibiotics and IVs and she's very much on the mends today.  I could see a BIG difference in her manner today compared to yesterday.  In the picture above she was eating her lunch.  She didn't finish all of it, but at dinner time she put a more substantial dent into her meal.  She may or may not be able to be discharged tomorrow.  As I write this I'm moments away from going into her room and getting some things she will need if she's going to be discharged tomorrow.  And if she's not, then I'll have them ready for when she is discharged.  I have to figure out a way to keep the house cool tomorrow.  The last couple of nights that I've arrived the house has been like a sauna.  The only way to make sure that the house is cooler is to leave the fans on.  But I tried that today and nothing.  I need to leave my little window A/C unit on and have the fans blow the air out into the rest of the house.  Mainly her room.  I think I need to save up for a portable A/C unit for that side of the house.  She needs one.

File the following under "Fuck this guy."  LunaTick texted me late in the afternoon asking for the alarm code to Adam's square.  This, despite the fact that I've given him the code MANY TIMES.  As a matter of fact, I wrote the fucking alarm code on a Google Doc that I shared with him many months ago.  If you remember, I noticed he NEVER opened that document.  So fuck him for now asking.  Fuck him, because he keeps asking for the code so that he can enter the back office at Casa.  Despite the fact that Vagabundo gave it to him at least twice.  Fuck this guy!  He can just eat shit, for all I care.  I never responded.  If Kvon, or someone else, asks me why, I'll say the "truth."  I was at the hospital with my aunt all day and I had no service.  Fuck this guy!

Saturday, September 7, My aunt was finally moved to an actual room.  This is good but at the same time I wish she was going home today.  But, not possible just yet.  The doctor still wants her to stay on the meds and in the hospital for observation.  But, I do love that my aunt has this, "They only want me to stay so they can make more money," attitude about this longer than expected hospital stay.  She was seriously sick, having not just a UTI, but also pneumonia.

My cousin and her dad came by to pay my aunt a visit.  I took the opportunity to take a stroll down to the cafeteria and get a bite to eat.  I had salad there yesterday and a slice of pizza.  I didn't think I would get any award winning food there, and sure enough the pizza was meh.  The salad was meh, but at least they had something that was OKish.  Today I went down to the cafeteria expecting to see the same pizza slice, but no.  I found nothing.  But then the person behind the counter gave me that raised eyebrow look that says, "Can I help you with something?"  I nodded and stepped closer to announce what I wanted.  "Philly cheese steak, please," I said.  The woman was about to say something when she was interrupted by some guy behind her cleaning the grill.  He said, "We don't have that on the weekends."  The menu there isn't huge, but it did have about eight items to choose from.  The guy continued, "We only have the cheese steak from Mondays through Thursdays."  I was like, that's an odd thing to say.  I'm clearly a visitor to the hospital.  I don't need to know the intricate details of when the cheese steak is served.  I ended up saying, "So I don't go through the entire menu, why don't you just tell me what's available."  The lady said a few things and I ended up settling for the chicken fingers with fries.  And a salad.  Again, the food there isn't going to win any awards, but man how does this place not even have different sauces for the chicken fingers?  I ended up mixing some mayo and ketchup to dip the chicken into.  Good times.

I left the hospital close to 8pm, and headed home thinking of what I might have to eat.  Nothing really appealed to me, and I didn't have to have more fast food.  But these days there are options, and I figured this was a good time to check out the food delivery app I installed onto my phone over a year ago.  I had't actually used any of the services, despite wanting to try it many times.  I was kinda craving Mexican food, so I picked a place on Van Nuys that I've driven by dozens of times.  I ordered up the food and while it showed up I went ahead and washed the dishes that were left soaking since my aunt went into the hospital.  The food arrived kinda on the cold side.  The restaurant in question is maybe fifteen minutes away if you drive slow.  But really it should be more than ten minutes to get to my house from that restaurant.  I could see the driver picking it up via the app, so they didn't take long to get to my place.  Somehow, however, the food was not warm.  I ended up re-heating it in the microwave.  Then I opened the container up and found that the rice had gone all over the "plate."  Nothing too bad, but still.  Well, I won't be ordering from that restaurant again, since the food was bland.  The cold I can kinda let go, but bland, nope.  I mean, even their guacamole was bland.  How the fuck does someone make guacamole flavorless?  Total, damn, fail.

My current Apple Watch is practically unusable anymore.  The screen has become so burned in that I can't see anything on the screen.  Not only that, but the brightness is so low that I can't see anything if it's a little bright.  Again, not good.  I decided tonight to buy myself a new watch.  It arrives on Tuesday.  Can't wait to have a functional watch again.

Sunday, September 8, September has been one fail for me after another.  I honestly don't know why I seem to be snake bitten this month.

I went to visit my aunt before work today, and afterward I went flying to Glendale to get something for breakfast before work started.  I went to this one little hole in the wall that serves up great breakfast burritos.  But, I couldn't find any parking, so I went with my plan b.  Plan B was to be the Lucky Boy in Pasadena, but that was PACKED.  I ended up just going to a fast food joint.  Well, I ordered some special menu burger that they had on the board.  I should have known better, it was pretty meh.  This, despite the fact that it had bacon.  Total damn fail.

I went back to the hospital after work today.  Work sucked dick, because the head librarian didn't schedule a third person for the reference crew.  The girl that was working the desk with me on Sundays quit and last Sunday was her last Sunday.  But, do you think the head librarian scheduled someone for today?  Nope.  I thought I had seen that it was one of the new library assistants, but nope.  It was literally no one.  T and I had to fend for ourselves.  And she's breast feeding, which means she has to go up and pump out the milk at certain times of the day.  It's a half hour process, at least.  Well, on a day that we were short staffed the library gods blessed us with having a lower than normal number of questions on the desk.  Thank the maker!

I half expected my aunt to getting ready to go home, since she told me that there was a possibility that she would go home today.  Wrong.  It's OK, it looks likely that she'll get out tomorrow or Tuesday.

Monday, September 9, I barely arrived on time today, because I went to visit my aunt at the hospital this morning, and I had to get some food.  But, thankfully I was still on time.  When I went to the desk I noticed that one of the new library assistants was at the desk.  Hmm, I thought, what's up with this.  Well, it turns out today is the start of a new desk schedule.  I'm no longer on the reference desk on Mondays.  This is due to the fact that they did hire two new library assistants, but also that I'm needed to focus on the work for the Foundation.  This gives me more time to do some of the work.  Part of me won't miss the desk.  Part of me will.

On my way to the hospital I realized that I needed to fill up the gas tank.  I went to my regular gas station only to find a sign that read, "Back in 10 minutes."  I waited, and waited and about five minutes in I just said fuck it and went to pay at the pump.  I told the guy standing next to me in front of the closed door, "Watch, the second I start pumping the person will open the door."  Sure enough, that's what happened.  FML!

After some failed attempts my aunt was finally going home today.  When I got to the room she was already dressed and ready to go.  They still had to discharge her, so that took about an hour, before we hit the road.  We picked up some food on the way home, and it hit the spot.

After we arrived home from the hospital my aunt asked if I had bought milk, and I told her that with all the commotion I had forgotten.  I offered to go down the street to the convenience store to pick up a half gallon.  She said yes.  While I was gone the living room security camera caught the video above, in which my aunt presses her hands against the mezuzah she has by the door.  To know me is to know I don't believe in such things.  But, if it makes her feel better so be it.

Tuesday, September 10, I walked to the so-called "drought tolerant" garden on the West side of the library.  I figured most of the plants would be close to death.  Sure enough, many of the plants had leaves that were browning at the tips.  In the middle of the garden there were other plants that were clearly drying out and dying.  When I started to take the picture above my phone saw the QR code and suggested opening a link.  I wanted a good laugh after taking the picture, so I opened the link and to my surprise I saw that these dopes had misspelled the word evergreen on the social media post.  They have literally gotten nothing right on this project.

Week seventeen of being on the Slaughter desk.  But, at least I'm not driving.  More on that in a bit.  The tech guy mentioned to me, when I was on the desk, that they had the web version of the software we use to check out books on the iPad the "Third desk" person uses.  I was like, "Oh nice."  I shouldn't have been THAT optimistic.  Of course it turns out to be a fail.  Why was I surprised?  While the web version of the software is nearly exactly the same, the fatal flaw is that as soon as the iPad's screen goes dark I'm logged out.  Not just logged out but super logged out.  There is a general login for the library, and then the "permissions" are set by an individual login.  Certain people have more privileges on the system, hence the different logins.  This means that I have to login in two times every fucking time the iPad goes dark.  Oh, but then I thought maybe I shouldn't shut the screen off.  Well, of course the fucking web version times out after a few minutes and I'm in the same situation as before.  Fuck this shit!  That iPad is fucking useless to me.

LunaTick drove today.  That probably means he'll call out sick next week.  Fuck this guy.  I was on the desk, so I didn't see him come in when he came back from Pasadena.  What I did see is the aftermath.  According to three of my coworkers he threw the bins in a heap, making zero effort to not have them tip over.  Fuck this guy.  Whatever I am, I have not pulled any of these stunts in my time as delivery driver.  In just over four months on the job he has done nothing correct.  He has called out sick at least five times.  Mind you, he does delivery once a week.  Which means five weeks worth of not showing up for work.  This guy can't do anything right.  He doesn't act like a guy who needs this job.  Fuck... this... guy!

The new librarian turned to me at one point when we were both on the desk to ask me if I work Saturdays.  I told her that I didn't.  She then says that first she has to ask some of the dopes upstairs if it's OK, but that she wanted me to come in for the Mockery Fest thing happening next weekend and take photos.  I wasn't going to say no to some "easy" money.  And I get a front row seat to the fail.  Woo!

Wednesday, September 11, The Huntington Library and the public library in San Marino are two different things.  When I first started working there I had many calls thinking that the public library was the Huntington.  I practically memorized the Huntington's phone number.  I even had the occasion of printing out little maps that showed how to get from the public library to the Huntington, since they were so close in name and distance.  It's a common mistake, since they both are libraries and both are in San Marino.  But the Huntington has no official affiliation with the city.  So it was a bit of a surprise when the boss asked us at the library to check over the new beta for the library's new website and low and behold under the public library webpage there was a picture of the Huntington.  I wrote her an email telling her about that and some other flaws.  Obviously even those putting the website together got the whole Huntington/Crowell thing wrong.  I'm sure I'll find more mistakes.

I haven't seen the girl I know as StudyThighs in a couple of weeks.  It's not like I'm going to make a move on her any time.  It's just nice to see her and her thighs.  And now that I'm not on the desk Monday mornings there is just one day that I have a chance to see her, and that's Wednesdays.  Oh well, all things must pass.

After not seeing the ladies in two weeks we FINALLY had dinner together.  Finally!  First it was TheGirl's trip up to Big Bear that preempted our usual Wednesday dinner.  Then it was my aunt ending up in the hospital that preempted the Thursday make-up dinner.  AND then it was me having to pick up my aunt from the hospital on Monday that preempted the regular Monday visit.  I don't think we've gone this long without having a Wednesday dinner.  MAYBE during the holidays when Christmas and New Year's have fallen on Wednesdays.  It was good to see them both after so long.  I gave TheGirl the photo tiles for her birthday, since I missed giving them to her on Monday (her actual birthday).  She loved them.  I hope she puts them up.  I think that it's now my turn to order some tiles.  I mean, why not?  The tiles turned out alright, and I want to print out some pictures.

Thursday, September 12, The delivery van is back!  Not only back but nice and clean.  After having that transmission problem last week the van is back in service.  I did notice a little bit of a hitch, but at least it's working now.  I'm glad, that loaner van got the job done, but it was difficult to say the least.  Still, the one positive is that I could use the limited space available as an excuse not to do any special pick ups of stupid donations.  No more excuses.

I like some of the things that have been done in what I affectionately call the "defecate space."  But some of the projects they put up are damn good.  My problem isn't with the people that put it up, nor with the art work.  My problem is having so many library resources go into something that many people don't even appreciate.  The receptions they have for the openings of these things are never attended by many people.  And again, I actually like a lot of what the couple do to put the art up in interesting ways.  And to their credit, it hasn't all been depressing stuff.  Sure, there are the fair share of battered women and various other tragedies.  But there has also been uplifting works on display.  Like the current one, where they took pictures of people in the community and printed them up to huge poster sized prints.  This project was inspired by an artist that prints huge poster size portraits and places them on buildings.  See, and that's the thing, he puts them on buildings as big as the library and covers them with them.  I like the idea.  But of course the library can't ever do anything correctly.  They decided to put most of the photos on the sidewalk leading up to the stairs to the library.  Basically defeating the purpose of the installation.  I'm sure they were told they couldn't place the poster prints on the side of the building, and only on the windows.  But at that point the wonder of the project is lost, because you can't see the majority of the photos, since they're on the ground.  Oh well.

Kvon must have had something happen today, because out of the blue he said to me that he was going to go on the route with me.  I thought he was joking, but next thing I know he's picking up his backpack and on the van with me.  What followed was me doing the route pretty straightforward.  Thankfully a lot of the stops gave Kvon news about stupid LunaTick.  Casa told him how LunaTick never leaves them enough bins.  One of the librarians that work the weekends, and therefore never get so see Kvon, gave him an earful of how terrible the slaughter desk is on a given day.  So yeah, I was happy for that.  Because I say some things, but the best is having others say the same thing I've been telling Kvon.  Because this way it has some more weight.

Having Kvon on the route was fine until we reached Grandview.  I received a special request to pick up a die cutting machine and bring it with a specific die of a three inch in diameter circle.  When we got to Grandview I asked Watson if she had that on hand.  She hadn't heard about the request, and was dealing with someone else.  The die cutter was right out where I could find it easy, the circle die was another story.  Kvon, Watson and myself looked for the correct die, but couldn't find it.  We found other things, like the Letter O and a zero.  But each, while kinda round, were not absolutely round.  Nor would they work as a three inch circle, since the inner circle in each die would defeat the purpose of using it.  You wouldn't have a circle, you'd have a donut.  We just couldn't find the circle, and at point Kvon says, "Let's go already."  I told him we needed to make sure, because the die cutter would be useless without the proper die.  He seemed annoyed by this, but I gave the stack of dies another look and sure enough I found it.  A for extra effort, I was later told by the guy in admin that needed the circle die.  No idea of Kvon appreciated me going the extra mile in my efforts, and not giving up.  Probably not.

After work I went to the huge market to find some sour cream and maybe something else.  I feel so fat when I walk in there, since so many of the women are in shape.  One women was thin but still had some nice curves for a skinny lady.  Another one came down the cheese aisle and when she turned around she had this gorgeous face.  And I mean like model gorgeous, not regular woman gorgeous.  Like in flawless skin and such.  I do like this market, but I need to get in shape to shop there.

When I got home today my aunt informed me that she had bought some chicken for me and was going to cook it up.  She wanted me to get the electric grill going so she could cook them up.  Well, in a little while she was serving up the chicken.  As she's serving the chicken to me, with a little spaghetti on the side, she says, "I didn't season it, so it's a little flavorless."  Mind you, she put something on it, since it was read.  I don't even remember what she told me she coated it with, but it didn't add any flavor to it.  And yeah, she never seasons anything, and that's why much of her food is completely flavorless.  Sigh.  Not only was the chicken flavorless, it was overcooked.  It as so hard that it was like eating a door stop.

Friday, September 13, One of my coworkers told me that she saw my face by the dock area in the back of the library.  I went back there and sure enough it was there.  I look like a dufus.

Sunday, September 15, When I arrived at work I chilled a little before going to the reference desk. When I got there one of the new library assistants was sitting in the seat where I normally sit.  But then I noticed that the librarian was seated in the other seat.  I knew that the schedule had the new assistant on the children's desk, but I didn't protest.  I just went with the flow and went to the children's desk to work.  It was good, and chill.  Not going to complain.  The children's desk is much quieter than the adult desk.  It's hidden from sight, so is easier to avoid dopes.  It wasn't a perfect shift, but it was pretty close.  I'm happy to yield my time to the new library assistant every other Sunday.

After work I picked up my aunt and she and I went to dinner for my birthday.  We went to Marie Calendar's, which used to have a lot of locations, but seems to be dwindling these days.  I wasn't sure how the one by our house is still making it these days.  But, after dinner tonight I think I figured it out.  It's a senior restaurant.  Pretty much everyone in the joint was a senior having dinner. 

Monday, September 16, The above picture is of TheGirl and Chan in my car.  We were outside of a restaurant in Hollywood.  Who knew that seven years later Chan would still be such a big part of my life?  Funny how things like this happen.  The only one not in our quartet back then was Cheyenne.

While putting up some signs outside the library I hurt my finger by hitting it with a hammer.  At the time I was hurt, but I didn't realize just how hard a hit I sustained on my finger.  I wrapped it up, but it kept bleeding slowly through the day.  I didn't get to see how bad the hit was until I got home.  As seen in the photo above the hit was hard enough to crack my nail.  It hurt big time, and was throbbing.

Tuesday, September 17, When I walked up to the library this morning I noticed that some of the photos that were up for the exhibition had been vandalized with markers.  The whole row of photos that line the East side of the building had markings on them (as seem above).  You know, I kinda liked this exhibit with the photos, so it sucks that some idiot had to deface them.  But it turns out that the same idiot didn't stop there.  He apparently went to the Comfort Women statue in the park a few feet from the library and marked that up with a sharpie as well.  What... a... dope.

I went into the exhibit room to check out the new exhibit that I contributed to in small part.  They had the maps of Glendale hanging, and they also had the video of me driving around the city while no the route.  Good times.  I actually contributed a nice bit of my time for this project.  I'm glad it came out looking good.  If I do say so myself.

My desk shift today was pretty uneventful, and actually kinda fun at times.  When I left I decided to take a detour at the new garden, which is predictably dying (shown above).  Many of the pants have been taken out, because they were most likely dead.  Good job making this a "demonstration" of what is possible in a drought tolerant garden... NOT!

I wanted to go to Disneyland after work today, but that plan went down the toilet after I saw that it would take an hour and a half to get down there.  No thanks.

The above photo is of my actual birthday dinner tonight.  All of the other food my aunt mentioned were just not appealing.  No thanks.  I thought about stopping by somewhere, but I didn't want to hurt my aunt's feelings by bringing some take out home.

Wednesday, September 18, TheGirl and I went to a place for dinner tonight that doesn't have much food that I like, but tonight that didn't matter.  I was just happy to not be at work.

Thursday, September 19, When I woke up this morning the daylight looked like there were clouds in the sky.  I confirmed that when I got out of the house.  It's FINALLY getting cooler.  I must say that this Summer was hot at times, but not like last year.  What I do notice is this increased humidity during the Summer.  It didn't used to be humid during the Summer.  But I think back to last year and the year before and it's definitely become more humid.  Growing up most Summers were dry.  I'm just glad Fall is coming.

Next week the library is going to be encouraging patrons to draw whatever for this thing called "The Big Draw."  This is a big event that's meant to encourage drawing and art in general.  Well, today I delivered circles cut with that die that I picked up last week.  The result is a HUGE mess (pictured above).  I mean, just look at that inner cut out.  It's a fucking mess.  I mean, who cut this thing and thought it was a good idea to leave it like that?  A person can't even read the message on the fucking piece of paper.  Wow, this just just sad.  This is also on the head of one of the new librarians.  If this is how he does things this is not a good first showing.

I received a call today from the hospice care where my Godmother is staying.  They told me that her hernia is getting worse, and that she has been in pain the last couple of days.  In the past they were able to give her Tylenol for the pain and that would be enough.  But not now, so they wanted to ask me if I wanted to send her to the hospital to do something about that hernia.  I just remember that she said she didn't want that, and that's what I told them.  So I'm not very sure how much longer she'll be alive.  It's not right.

Friday, September 20, It was six years ago that TheGirl and I (and Chan) were up in Carmel.  That's pretty crazy, because that was a memorable trip.  I added the picture of the food, since it was at our favorite place in Carmel, Club Jalapeno.  Sadly the place isn't there any more.  For a while that was "Our place."  The last time I went I cleaned my plate and had two margaritas.  Fucking great time.

Emma and I had this running "Joke" that the Universe didn't want us hanging out, since every time we schedule hanging out something queers the deal.  Like me supposedly going to Disneyland with her earlier this month, and then my aunt getting sick and having to be in the hospital.  So Emma said that she would just ask at the spur of the moment.  But of course she said that today and then asked me today if I wanted to get some dinner.  Sure, I said.  I'm tired of finding excuses for not hanging out with people, and especially since it's Emma.  I want to be intimate with her, and if I don't lay some sort of foundation I'll never get to that point.  If it's even possible.

I met her up in La Canada Flintridge at this place I've been before with good booze and decent food.  We ordered up some drinks and were feeling damn nice.  We ate a little happy hour food and talked.  I know Vagabundo doesn't think Emma has much to say, but she does.  It's just that sometimes she does go down a way you don't expect.  But, I think she's cute.  After drinks we went across the street to a pet store to get something she wanted for her dog.  We returned to my car and drove down to another restaurant where a coworker from the library works.  She's this one girl that I think I posted a picture here a while back.  Well, she now also works as a hostess at a "Chinese" restaurant down the street from the Montrose library.  She's cute, but my focus is on Emma.

When the night started we both agreed to cut the night short, since we both had work.  I had work early, but she could sleep in.  Still, it was a nice night.  I still wonder if I have a chance with this girl.  She wants to hang out a lot, but does that mean she thinks of me as only a friend?  I want more.

Saturday, September 21, Today I worked the so-called "Maker Fest" at Central.  At first they wanted me to take some pictures today, but then the new librarian said that my talents would be better served on the "welcome desk."  So, that's where I spent most of my time.  I tried my best to do my best while on the desk.  Thankfully there wasn't much of a need to answer too many questions.  I did throw myself on to the circulation desk at times to relieve my coworker when they had a long line.  At the end of the day I made some money and had an OK time.

I know that I saw that LunaTick was scheduled to work today, but there wasn't an opportunity to see if he showed up to work.  But, one of the pages told me that he hadn't shown up.  It was just as we were breaking down the event that I went into the conference room where Nacho was doing his music mixing thing that I was able to confirm that LunaTick didn't show up.  I asked Nacho how the day went, and he said it was good.  Then I asked, "Didn't you have some help today?"  I had a feeling LunaTick didn't show up, but of course she confirmed that right there and then.  Nacho just tells me, "Yeah, he was supposed to show up, but he didn't," and then shrugged his shoulders.  Just amazing that LunaTick most likely didn't show up without saying anything.  But of course there will be no consequences for hims not showing up.  Fuck this guy.

Monday, September 23, I went to the market before going to work and bought some coffee pods, because yes, coffee is now a reality for me.  I realize just how in need of coffee to counter the tired feeling that has permeated my life.  I'm sure this isn't a good idea, but what can you do?  I'm tired.

When I got home after visiting with the ladies I come to find yet another emotional "bomb" in my mail.  I owe the IRS $695 in penalty taxes for not having health insurance last year.  My personal losing streak continues this month.

Tuesday, September 24, When I arrived this morning not only was LunaTick once AGAIN not there on time.  Not only that, but the tables I picked up last week were still standing by the door.  Of course there was NO WAY that LunaTick would be made to take these tables back to where they belong.  I love that his idiocy shields him from having to return those tables.  I say, fuck it, make him do it.  Whatever!

I was just starting to eat my lunch when I received a phone call telling me that my Godmother had passed away.  This was expected after getting a phone call last week telling me that my Godmother was not well, and was not eating, and had taken a turn for the worst.  She had a bad hernia, and surgery was recommend years ago to make sure that her intestines, that were coming out in that hernia, would not die and turn gangrene.  But my Godmother didn't like doctors or hospitals, so she never had the surgery.  Now she's gone.  She was the kind of woman that didn't let pain take her down, but this finally felled her.  She survived so much stuff in her life.

Kvon was sitting next to me in the staff lounge when I got the call, which I answered on speaker phone since I was about to eat.  This meant he got to hear it in real time when the hospice lady on the phone said "Your aunt is dead."  The rest home would always call her my aunt instead of Godmother.  So, of course he thinks it's my my aunt that was dead.  I told him how they always made that mistake, and then went ahead and ate some food before calling the mortuary to make arrangements to pick up the body.  Hospitals always make that mistake.  When my aunt was in the hospital a few weeks ago they kept on calling her my mother.  It's a natural mistake, but yeah, a little annoying.  I told Kvon that of course I would need to leave and take care of this.  He said not to worry about a thing.  I told the people at San Marino the same and they said not to worry as well.  But I worry.  There isn't much I can do tomorrow in terms of arrangements.  I honestly don't know what is in her papers from five years ago, when we made these arrangements.

After eating part of my burrito that I had delivered, and tossing out the lentil soup my aunt made, because I just couldn't eat anything at that moment, I went up to the home she was leaving and signed a few papers and went home. And now the business of funerals and arrangements, I thought.  It stinks that I've had enough people die in my life that these things have become "Old hat," in a way.

My Godmother had a long life.  I can't say that it was always a pleasant life, but it was long.  Ninety-five year, and three weeks, to be exact.  She would tell my aunt and I about the pain she suffered throughout her life.  During many of our visits she would begin to cry when she thought of the past.  She was suffering from memory loss, and dementia, and yet she remembered the bad times most of all.  Perhaps there weren't many good times.  I'm sorry that she had to go at all, but people say that at least she can rest now.

And this is poignant since I've been thinking a lot about my own mortality, and now this brings it right back to the forefront.  My goal for the rest of this year is to focus on my photography.  Focus on being intimate with Emma.  Focus on trying to get something going where I can pay off all these stupid bills and stop worrying about my debts.

Emma sent me news that AD was leaving the library (above).  Looks like she's going to stay until November and then go off to Altadena.  I was talking to my buddy about it the other day when we predicted that she would leave, when we found out that she was going out for the job in Altadena.  It was an easy call, since the interim director was Maleficent.  She hired AD for Glendale, so she must think she's good.  Hence her helping AD get hired at Altadena.  By the way, the photo used in the article is the one I took of her when we had our all staff day.  Now the problem will be what will DrDeath do?  Will he still want to have a assistant director?  If so, who is he going to pick?  If the position is gone, what happens to that position?  I guess we shall see soon.  AD was pretty terrible, but then the devil you know is often better than the devil you don't.  Oh well.

Wednesday, September 25, I had an appointment at the mortuary today at 11:30am today.  But there was no way I was going to stay at home until 11am.  Not with my aunt around to bother me.  I ended up going to Travel Town, since it's close to the mortuary.  I had this crazy idea that I could go to Malibu, but it would have taken me an hour to get there and another hour to get from there to the mortuary.  No way.

After killing some time I went to the funeral home to get the final arrangements done for my Godmother's funeral.  I thought that I would be done with the appointment in an hour, but it turned out I was there for over two hours.  But things are set.

After the funeral home I went to work.  I know, part of me thought I shouldn't go, but there are a ton of things that need to get done for the fundraiser, and I'm a responsible dumb dumb.

TheGirl and I really needed a drink today.  We went to a Mexican restaurant up the street from TheGirl's place and had a margarita each.  The booze hit me pretty good since I hadn't something to eat since I got to work after the funeral home visit.  I had some raviolis that my aunt warmed up and threw in a container.  But I wasn't in the mood for those.  I picked up a Tommy's burger on the way to work and wolfed it down when I got there.  So I was starving at dinner.  I also wolfed down my dinner.  I can't say it was the best pair of enchiladas I've ever had, but they hit the spot tonight.  So did the margaritas.

Thursday, September 26, On Tuesday Kvon mentioned that I would have to take the tables that I picked up last week.  But, then my Godmother died.  I come to find out today that LunaTick skirted out of having to take them back on Tuesday.  One of the guys up in administration told him to see him after LunaTick came back from Pasadena.  Well, this idiot went ahead and filled the van up with bins and then went upstairs.  That's when the he tells the guy in administration that he can't take the tables because he already filled the van with the delivery bins.  The guy in administration said he was fuming, because he knew that LunaTick did that on purpose.  What a dope.  So that meant that, since I wasn't there, the other other driver and another coworker had to take them.  Fucking bullshit.  LunaTick's only talent is pissing off everyone at work.

My buddy Dane asked me to order him some adaptor plug about a week or so ago.  Seems like he's always asking me to order him stuff online so he can fix the video game machines he finds in the trash.  His last order arrived, but I forgot it in my car this morning in my rush to go into work.  Not that anyone monitors that shit.  Still, it was strange when I told my buddy that I forgot it he threw the earbuds he had on to the desk and got really frustrated.  I was like, whoa, what the fuck is going on here.  I mean I've never seen him act like such a bitch.  I told him I could come back later with the plug on my way home.  He just said, "Oh forget it!"  I just stood there silent for a moment, not knowing what to say to him.  He calmed down and finally just said, "If you can bring it today what time would that be?"  I told him around 4pm.  Which gave him time to play with it, before the library closed.  He agreed.  I don't know what got into him with this thing, but he really act like I've never seen him act before.  In the last few years I've put some distance between my buddy and myself.  Really between everyone and myself.  Today just means I have to retreat more from my friend.  He's not OK in the head.

Friday, September 27, It turns out that the music librarian at Brand recommended LunaTick to help at the Maker Fest last week.  Of course, as I think I mentioned before, LunaTick didn't show up.  Now the rest of the story.  LunaTick didn't just not go, his excuse was super lame.  He supposedly said that he didn't have the phone number for the library, so he couldn't call in.  Never-mind that he has a smart phone, and could just search for the phone number.  Never-mind that as an adult you should have the contact information for your job.  Whatever, he burned the Brand librarian, who said he wouldn't recommend LunaTick for anything.  Good job, dummy.  He literally has burned every bridge.

Saturday, September 28, I had a rough night last night.  At one time I woke up not able to catch my breath.  It was scary, to say the least.  I went back to sleep and felt a lot better in the morning, but during the night I felt as though was not going to be well enough to go to my oil change appointment today.  I made it, but I was also not well.  I came back home after the appointment and went straight to bed.  As I write this I feel a little better, but not great.

Yesterday while at Montrose I took a nap, because I was feeling tired.  At one point I woke up not being able to catch my breath for a moment.  Oh that fucking sucked.  I went online and found out this is a thing that happens to dopes like me who are overweight and drink booze.  I really need to make up my mind to lose weight and not drink as much.  I really don't like feeling this way.  So I'm not sure that this illness is entirely related to that breathing thing, but it certainly doesn't help.

Sunday, September 29, I was thinking last night, just before falling asleep, just how terrible this month has been.  It started with my aunt being sick, my Godmother then dies, and finally I get sick.  Boy, I don't know anymore.  All I could do through all this is keep my head down and continue.  I suppose because I don't know any better.  I suppose because what else am I supposed to do?  This month has taken a lot out of me, for sure.  As I write this I still feel sick, but I'm on the mends.

The usual pattern of going to breakfast with my aunt before work is at an end, since she doesn't have to go visit my Godmother.  Also, my cousin asked my aunt if she wanted to go visit my other aunt.  When she got back tonight she mentioned that my other aunt, the one in hospice, is very sad.  She was crying when my cousin and aunt came back home.  She doesn't want to be in the home, but there's no way that my cousin could take care of her.  So horrible.  It made me wonder what my future would be like, seeing as I've seen some of my family members go that route.  Thankfully my Mother and Grandmother didn't go down the nursing home route.  But, back to the point.

Work sucked dick.  There was this group in the community room that were just douches.  First they claimed that microphones batteries were dead.  Nope.  The damn mute was on.  Second, they chided us for not having the specific plug that they needed for their computer to connect to the projector.  Ah, we can't possibly be expected to have every damn adaptor plug for every computer that might come through the door.  Bullshit.  I walked away from those dopes as soon as I could.

Monday, September 30, I think I need a smaller more appropriate coffee cup than the one pictured above.  This one in the picture didn't fit the coffee machine.  Still, the coffee got me over the hump today.  I'm still not feeling completely well, but I'm certainly feeling better.

I needed all the coffee I could get, what with all the work I had today.  And I'm still not feeling completely 100% yet.  But, thankfully I've been able to keep up with everything by just grinding things out.  It's the only thing I know how to do these days.  Everything I do feels as though it's a grind.

As I said earlier, I'm still not feeling completely well yet.  I arrived at TheGirl's early, despite leaving work a little later than normal.  I arrived early mainly because there was no traffic tonight.  I wish traffic was more like that every day.  I played with puppy, but at the end of the night she's usually the one that's pooped.  This time I was the one that through in the towel.  It was a long day.  But it was funny how tonight Cheyenne took out so many of her toys to play with.  TheGirl says she never takes this many toys when she plays with her.  Only when I show up.  Just look at the picture above.  That doesn't even include all the toys she took out of her toy box.  There's still Hedge, and this little rope looking thing.  I was happy to see them both tonight.