I'm not even sure where this month went.  But, here's the update.

Mon April 1, I got the bad news on my taxes.  I owe about $800 on Federal and about $500 to the state.  I had some money stashed away, and I've also been saving, so I hope I can put a dent into that overall bill.  My tax guy says there's also payment plans and such.  Just great.  I've been saving to not only pay my property taxes, but hopefully go on a trip.  Sure looks like this bill will hurt my chances of going on a trip.  But then again, I NEED my yearly trip out of town.  It was funny, because the other day was payday for Glendale and with the deposit I had about $1,500 in my account.  I never have that kind of balance in that account.  I figured I must have forgotten some bill.  As far as I could tell I have paid all the bills that need to be paid.  I would have had an email sent to me if I hadn't.  That phantom bill STILL might pop up.  Hopefully I'm wrong, but when it comes to these things I'm usually right.

I sat in my backyard last night until nearly 10pm tonight.  It was so nice.  I said it before, I'm not looking forward to the upcoming heat in the summer.  Fucking bullshit, it's not going to be OK.  I wanted to buy some things for the backyard, but now I'll have to place those plans on hold.  Fuck taxes.

I love that these dopes continue to have a horrible social media presence.  Not only do they not update things on a timely manner, but they blast the pictures with stupid filters.  This is so things look better, so they think.  But really what happens is that he's stupid pictures look like a super nova just exploded outside the library.  What a bunch of tools.  I can't wait to hear about how the grand re-re-re-opening went.  I hope them nothing but the worst luck.  Damn idiots.

Tue April 2, I've said it before, but I'll say it again.  I have the hots for Emma.  Sometimes those "hots" are smoldering, and sometimes they are just a want to tell her how I feel.  In other words, I haven't had sex in two years and I find her attractive.  Sigh.

Kvon told me that he did talk to administration about what I said about Krishna.  Later the other driver not he route told me that he went and talked to Mama.  So Krishna was getting it from both ends.  I wonder if the administration dopes will see that two relatively independent people have now gone and told about how Krishna treats us on the route.  I know that Benedict had his issues with Krishna as well.  She's just not a "people person," to say the least.

I got some news about the Grandview opening from a couple of sources.  Two people told me that a kid passed out while waiting for the library to open.  Of course the propaganda said that it was a great success.  DrDeath mentioned in an email that there were about five hundred people there.  But Vagabundo uncovered the fact that Krishna "bribed" the teachers from across the street to come and visit the library on re-opening day.  He also told me that the children's librarian from Casa was there.  I suggested that perhaps she was bribed to be there as well.  Vagabundo concurred.  There are some shady dealings going on there.

With the looming tax bill something I have to deal with in the next couple of weeks, I have thought about where the money for that bill will come from.  I've been saving some extra money on the side for a trip.  If I decide to take that money and use it to pay my tax bill this year it will wipe that fund out.  Furthermore, it will put dents in any other accounts I draw money out of.  It puts any trip plans in jeopardy.  I REALLY want to go to San Francisco this year.  The best time to go for me would be during Thanksgiving.  Which means I might have some time to save enough money.  I'm sure going to try.  In addition to a trip, I would like to also have more than enough to pay off my property taxes.  That bill has been something I've been able to save for easily though.  But it takes commitment to set that money aside.

Anyway, I was looking on several travel sites for an idea of how much it would cost me to go back up to the city.  A factor that isn't included in the price of the hotel room is the parking.  The last time I went up the parking for the car cost $33 a day.  If you think about going up there during Thanksgiving, I would arrive on Thursday and return on Sunday.  That's up to four days of at least $35 parking a day.  I wanted to find some place near the Financial district.  The place I stayed when I went with TheGirl is nice, but it's expensive when not splitting the cost, and I would have to park across the street.  Well, then I saw that where I parked the car last time had a pretty good price.  Better than where I stayed last time, and the same parking fee would apply.  But even with that I'm doing better than the last place, and many other places I checked out today.  I don't know.  Part of me wants to roll the dice and save what I can and put the balance of the trip costs on my credit cards.  But I also don't want to rely on credit.  I want to pay it down, not add more debt.

Wed April 3, I had a strange dream in which I was driving around a parking structure.  I entered it and everything was fine.  But then I noticed that part of the structure was broken and then the fucking thing started falling all around me.  According to an online dream dictionary to dream of a building collapsing, "... Indicates that you are losing sight of your ambitions and goals.  Your pursuit for material gains is failing."  Not sure what this means really.  I guess I'm not focusing on what's important?  Certainly I feel that I'm not saving enough money to pay all my bills in the future.  I wish I had more money saved up.  Well, I should say I wish I was making more money so that something like these damn taxes wouldn't be such an issue.  Damn.

I'm pretty much done with both of these jobs I have.  I really need to find something else.  It's just so difficult to find anything out there in the world.  I never wanted to make libraries a career, but here I am.  You know, I've noticed that about every ten years of my life things change drastically, if not overnight.  I think I'm in one of those transitions.  The thing that would really change things would be a new job.

Cheyenne is suffering from some eye problems, something that afflicts boxers.  TheGirl didn't want to go out for dinner tonight, so we decided to get take out.  I picked up some food from the Mexican restaurant that I've gone with my aunt a couple of times.  TheGirl bought some margarita mix and we had a good old time.  Cheyenne looked like she had gone ten rounds in a boxing match.  Poor thing.  I helped TheGirl apply some ointment to Cheyenne's left eye.  The other eye just get drops.  It was two years ago that Cheyenne had a similar ailment.  Poor thing.  Needless to say we didn't play roughhouse tonight.

Fri April 5, The donation pile in circulation grows day by day, because the idiots upstairs don't understand how anything works.  The majority of these books should be going straight to the trash.  But the dummies upstairs in administration have this idiotic idea that we should hide the fact that the library throws away books.  Oh boo hoo.  It's something libraries have done forever.  But these dopes want to keep it some sort of a secret, because they think the public is going to stage a riot if they find out.  They're not going to find out if you do it in a timely manner and don't have a huge pile of books fester in various places in the library.  Oh, like this festering pile of books that continues to grow.  No one upstairs has taken charge of this mess, because it's just not glamorous like say a self checkout machine.  To be true, self checkout machines aren't glamorous either, but these dopes upstairs seem to think they are.  The situation with the donations should be something easy, but incompetent dopes make it a mountain of a problem.  AD has this "brilliant" idea that the donations need to go through the Cerberus machine in order to have the software they barely got working to now see what books are worth selling to an online retailer.  Mind you, the money they get from the books in small in comparison to the amount spent on this fucking machine.  It's going to take a LOT more books than that machine is capable of scanning to come close to justifying its cost.  Not to mention the cost of the software.  Because of course that wasn't free either.  The dopes are spending thousands of dollars for every penny they get back in return.  But, that's how these idiots operate.  Penny wise, pound foolish.  They will cut the throat of a part time worker but turn around and spend thousands of dollars on a self checkout machine, or a huge scanner that barely works.  So yeah, it's just a pile of books until you realize it's a symptom of a larger problem.

I rolled into Casa today and I saw the following, a pair of tables crowbarred into a little spot in the library that can barely contain one table, let alone two.  I don't know who's idea this was, but it's just another typical stupid idea that happens at the library every day.  The space is not that big, and to place even one table is bad enough.  But now two tables?  You can BARELY pass on the far side of the tables.  And forget about when someone is going to be sitting there and you want a book.  Forget it!  Yes, another dumb move.

And talk about dumb moves.  Now that Grandview's focus is on "kids" the library is settling in on this idea idea that it should be a classroom.  Case in point, the picture above.  The chairs and tables had been arranged so that they perpendicular to the "circulation" desk.  However, in the last couple of days they have been turned in order to be parallel to the desk.  This makes this place look even more like a classroom than before.  The stench of failure is all over this place.

Sat April 6, I had to get my car's oil change today.  They didn't take too long since they really only needed to change the oil.  They would usually rotate the tires, but I just got them.  I had planned on going to get my tux fitted for my buddy's wedding in June, but I didn't really feel like it today.  I didn't feel like doing any of that today.  Instead I went down to Chinatown to treat myself to a burger.

The last time I was in Chinatown I saw a burger joint in the main plaza and I thought of how some day I needed to try it.  Just to add to my knowledge of burger joints in the city.  Today was the day.  I didn't have anything else to do, or wanted to to, so I drove after the oil change to Chinatown.  I ordered up a cheeseburger combo.  The burger looked good (pictured above) from the start.  Just a good standard burger that at first glance was no frills.  Sure enough it was no frills, but also not much taste.  The meat was good and lightly seasoned.  The bun was toasted just right, not burnt.  There was a good amount of onions and lettuce and 1000 island dressing.  But for some reason despite the good work on this burger it was just plain meh.  It was a good attempt, but sadly the quality of the entire thing doesn't reach the level of say an In-n-Out burger.  And you know where it fails?  Exactly where the In-n-Out burger shines... the 1000 island dressing.  One of my favorite burgers is from Pin n Burger.  They have the BEST 1000 island dressing, because they make it in house.  It has a really nice tang to it, probably coming from the relish.  This 1000 island dressing from today's burger was just nothing.  Sad.

Sun April 7

Tue April 9, The donation situation in circulation is a growing problem.  I wish these dopes upstairs would get their heads out of their ass and just decide to toss these books.  They are literally becoming a fire hazard.  In the past we would just toss these books, but now they need to go through the Cerberus machine to see if they can be sold.  The cost of said sale wouldn't even cover a small portion of the money they spent on this fucking machine.  But I digress, and say that they can just eat shit for their stupidity.

Grandview only had one bin in delivery today.  If you could go on nothing else but this you could tell that Grandview doesn't have much circulation.  Well, why would they?  They're focused on "technology" instead of books.  I've said it before, and Grandview keeps proving how terrible that location is now.  Grandview is in a sense ahead of the curve as a testbed for all the stupid things that the current library administration want to do throughout the library system.  Vagabundo already told me that the children's librarian at Casa was praising the changes to Grandview, and that she wants to do many of the things they did over there.  Ah, what?  Whatever Casa is, it is a semi-popular location.  During Central's renovation Casa was pseudo Central, in that all the books on hold that would normally be at Central went to Casa.  On average Casa would get about sixteen bins a day in delivery.  Now they don't get that much, but they at least get a steady three to five a day.  Any changes that would make it more like Grandview would only turn it into a desert.

The dopes that run this joint thought it would be a good idea to give us donuts today, in lieu of a pay raise later.  Fucking turds.  This is how management always tries to bride the workers.  "Oh, remember that time we gave you donuts?"  Yeah, give me a raise and I'll buy my own donuts.  Turds, that's what they are.

Wed April 10, When I got home yesterday my aunt told me that she had made spaghetti... AGAIN.  She made a mountain of spaghetti.  And then she wonders why I don't eat the entire mountain in a couple of days.  It's like she has no accumulated knowledge that tells her I'm not going to make a dent in that amount of spaghetti.  When you break it down, Sunday we eat breakfast at a restaurant.  I don't each lunch, and we often pick something up before going home and eating that.  So that means no home meals on Sunday.  Monday I have breakfast at home and I take lunch to work.  I have dinner on the road.  Tuesday, Thursday and Friday I have breakfast at home and lunch at work.  I have dinner at home as well.  Wednesday is the same as Monday.  So there are only so many meals I have at home, and for some reason my aunt thinks I eat a truckload.  I don't.  Despite being fat, I'm not eating all that much.  The weight is more from my drinking.  Oh well, I guess she's going to blame me for the spaghetti going bad in a week.

I checked my email for Glendale while I was at work in San Marino today.  It looks like I have a new assignment at Glendale... to photograph the branches.  Hmmm.  OK, I guess I'll learn more about this tomorrow.

It was windy tonight, but not so windy that we couldn't go out for dinner.  TheGirl thought that if it was too windy that we might go to another place for dinner.  But I told her that we needed to take Cheyenne with us.  And yes, she agreed.  We ended up going to the Counter in Toluca Lake.  We've been there many times.  Tonight we had a new waitress, who was pretty nice.  She also had a unique name... Alaska.  Yes, that was her name.  Puppy is still wearing a cone, to protect her from scratching her eyes.  Her eyes looked much better now.  The other day they really looked bad, and she kept her left eye closed during my last visit.  But today her eyes looked almost normal.  Yay!  At the end of the night TheGirl mentioned how much she needed a nice night out.  She's been super stressed over Cheyenne's eyes.

Thu April 11, The above photo comes from the library's social media feed.  The lady getting the certificate is a woman that has been working for forty years with the city, or with the library, I don't know.  I should have put the word working in quotes, because despite being a nice lady I can't honestly say she's a hard worker.  She's an OK worker.  When I had the pleasure of working with her a few years ago I found her to be befuddled and somewhat clueless.  She literally had nothing to do than wait for me to check in a book and take that book, and every book I checked in, one by one to the shelf.  I would check it in, put it on the return truck and she would come back and despite the fact that there were more than one book, she would just take one book and shelve that.  Clueless.  It's yet another insult to see these awards given to incompetents.  Whatever!

I completely forgot about this when I walked into circulation this morning, but I was quickly reminded that DrDeath called for a meeting with the pages this morning when I walked in and saw them all in circulation.  On Thursdays I'm usually alone for at least the first half hour of the shift, since no one gets there on time, 8am.  The meeting with DrDeath was about shelving and presenting the books so that they may, "Find their reader."  Because that's how things work, don't you know?  These poor dopes were assembled upstairs to listen to DrDeath talk about this method of shelving.

After the meeting the monitor showed me the hand out that DrDeath gave the poor schlubs (shown above).  When I walked by the meeting in order to get the mail from administration, I heard DrDeath talk about when he was just starting out having to figure out the opening procedures for a branch library.  It was his first time, but thankfully, he continued, there was a list of procedures that helped him figure things out when he was clueless.  He gave the pages this procedure list in order to have them know what to do.  In the olden days they would train us how to do that, but now that's not something that's done.  Nearly everything on this list is impractical.  The good things are completely overshadowed by the bad.  Case in point, the first thing on the list.  As I understand it books that belong to say the fiction section should not go in the the non-fiction section.  Oh, now I know (/sarcasm).  I mean, come on.  Is this the level of thinking we're really going by now?  I've shown DrDeath's idea of how the shelves need to look.  But I STILL can't get an answer as to whether the entire collection is to be shelved this way, or simply the fiction books.  Thanks for the not communicating thing.

One of the many reasons why I'm a fat fuck these days is because I eat a lot of fast food.  I don't like the food, but I don't like the food from home more.  I mentioned how my aunt made a mountain of spaghetti the other day.  Well, there was no way that I was going to have spaghetti for my lunch today while on the route.  When I got home my aunt was making a huge pot of lentil soup.  Like I said in a previous entry, she has zero accumulated knowledge.  She wonders why the food goes bad, and why don't I eat it.  It goes bad because she makes a mountain of bland food she wants me to eat, but I just can't.  She made something last week, I honestly can't remember what it was, but it was just awful.  I ate it that one time and never touched it again.  I know she wants to make a mountain of food so that she doesn't have to cook every day.  But making a mountain of bad food just isn't going to get me to eat it.

I arrived at Adams and found the trio of ladies I work with giggling and all huddled in the corner by the circulation desk.  It all looked very suspicious to me.  If I didn't know better though, I would think that the new girl that I think is super cute likes me.  She was batting her eyes today, and last week as well.  I'm VERY bad at assessing these sort of signals from women.  And when they are in my face I tend to dismiss the signals as nothing but being friendly.  I have said it to my guy friends... if a lady is interested in you she will make it known.  And yes, she will.  Well, if I try to look at this in an objective way she's interested in me.  I think.

I got home tired and hungry and for my troubles my aunt heated me up a small mountain of spaghetti and some refried beans.  It was quite simply an awful dinner.  The beans were OK, but I love that my aunt STILL doesn't get that I don't like my spaghetti dry like this.  Fucking, put some sauce on it for goodness sakes.  ARGH!

Fri April 12, Today was a long day.  I didn't get off work until 5:45pm tonight, mainly because I had an extra assignment today.  One of the administration guys wanted me to talk pictures of all the branches.  Not entirely sure why, but when I asked him what his vision for this was he told me they needed, "Representative pictures of our sites that don't look like they were shot in 1990."  I "think" I can do that, I told him.

When I arrived at Montrose Emma told me that her boyfriend broke up with her.  I felt bad at the news, because I've been there.  Her tears welling up made me remember my previous break-ups, and how horrible those felt.  I honestly didn't think this would happen any time soon, but I did wonder a few weeks ago how long it would last.  Of course she is searching for answers as to why he broke up with her.  There are no answers.  It just sucks.

The only thing I was looking forward to experiencing when I arrived at Grandview was to see and talk to the new girl... the cute one that I THINK has been batting her eyes at me.  I TRIED to interact with her today.  I even tried to photograph her with the library's fancy camera, but I struck out with her today.  Gee, I guess I might have been wrong about her.  Ya think?

Brand is easily the nicest looking of the libraries in the system.  It was no trick making Brand look nice in the pictures.  One of the librarians there did suggest I take a picture from the courtyard, since that's really the entrance to the library now.  It used to be the front, but it hasn't been that for over five years now.  I agreed and you have the photo above.

Pacific is about as photogenic as a paper bag.  Grandview is a box, well, this is a triangle box.  My buddy did ask me to hold some of his stuff.  His cart is breaking apart.  He needs a new one, but I'm not sure what I could get him.  I want to get him something nice, but not too nice.  He tends to break things.  A few years ago most of his stuff was stolen from him from where he sleeps and he was really feeling down.  I bought him a really cheapo Android tablet.  He loved it, but within a week he told me he broke it.  He stuffed it with the rest of his things and the screen broke.

The last stop of the day was Adams, which is difficult to photograph.  It's an easy stop since no one works there on Fridays.  I was going there first thing on the route, but now that I think about it going last is just fine.  I didn't finish my day until nearly 6pm, what with the photos and all.  I needed to upload them to my storage so I could show them here and have a record of my work.

Sat April 13, A photograph I took of Emma last year came up on my photo feed this morning (above).  I remember thinking how good she looked at that.  She was texting me last night and this morning.  She's hoping a face to face talk will change his mind.  Nah.  Been there, done that.  It simply doesn't work out that way.  Oh you may convince the person to stay with you for a little while longer, but it only prolongs the pain.  They're still going to go if they want to break up permanently.  I went through situations where a relationship would "end" only to stay lingering and not really end.  But ultimately it ends.  Emma is just going through her phases of grief.  She's definitely going through denial right now.  She doesn't want to believe it's over.  How much of a cad am I for wondering when it's too soon to try to hang out with Emma and make a pass at her.  Oh I'm horrible.

Coca Cola introduced a new favor to their line-up of sodas.  One that has added orange and vanilla, which seems to be a move to make a soda that tastes like an orange cream soda.  I liked it, but it wasn't super great.  Cherry Coke is still the best of the favored Cokes.  Although, there was a black cherry flavor that they don't make any more than was super yummy as well.

Above is a photo from social media of the Grandview gals, as I just now started calling them. They're wearing "Waldo" glasses and outfits.  The girl on the far right is the one I think has been giving me "knowing" looks whenever I come in.  It could just be wishful thinking on my part, but I would like to get to know her better.  She's cute.  Sigh.  But I'm an old fat fuck.  What chance do I have winning her over?

I follow some random people on social media.  Some not so random, because there's no mystery in following a pretty girl.  Case in point, the girl pictured above.  I literally have no idea who she is, but I once saw her on my feed and I thought she was wonderful.  (Moments later).  OK, I went on her page to remind myself and I started following her because she liked one of my photos of a rainbow.  She posts many pictures of rainbows.  He se her liking my rainbow photo.  But she doesn't post many rainbow photos these days.  Mostly portraits, but also some semi-nude stuff.

Sun April 14, When I write my journal I don't always have the time to immediately put down my feelings about something.  It might be a few hours or even a few days before I'm able to put down some complete thoughts that follow my notes.  Now I bring this up in this case because I only wrote four word when I was editing the photo above to go along with this entry... "I am torn: TheRose."  I don't have ANY idea why I wrote that phrase.  I could guess, but what's the use in that?  All I know is that TheRose is incredibly attractive.  There, I said it.

Mon April 15, I woke up not feeling well, and it wasn't a hangover.  Even as I write this sentence during my break at work I think about how I feel nauseous.  When I arrived at work this morning I took a nap on the floor of the office.  I slept like a baby for nearly a half an hour before starting work.  I didn't think I would pass out so quickly, but I did.  Working the shift today was hard.  I felt nauseous nearly the entire time.  I was popping gum big time.

Emma texted me yesterday while I was on the desk that she went ahead and contacted her ex.  Not many details, but she claims that she now has closure.  That's always a good thing.  She mentioned we should hang out.  Damn yes we should.  I would definitely be her rebound man.  Yes, I know it would only last a short while.  But I'm not sure I have the energy for anything long term anyway.  But I'm also not opposed to long term with her.

Cheyenne still has a cone around her head.  TheGirl says that Cheyenne should be cone free by next week.  I hope.

Tue April 16, A quick update on Emma.  She says she's better every day, but at the same time she still hopes that this relationship she's not in is truly just on a "break," and not a permanent one.  I know the feeling.  I've been there in the past, hoping beyond hope that the other party would change their mind.  It happened with TheGirl and me.  But of course ultimately that ended.  We're better friends than boyfriend and girlfriend.  Perhaps Emma can have that with her now ex some day.  Nevertheless, Emma is hoping to get back together.  She's not yet to the point where she can accept that it's over.

I was going to say that here we have a better picture of the new and the cute page that works for Krishna.  But, it's not really a "better" picture, it's just one I took.  I guess I'm going to have to give her a nickname soon, if I'm going to continue writing about her.  I have this feeling that she's been giving me signals.  But of course I consider that it might just be her being friendly.  Still.  I would like to know a little more about her.  For now I know nothing.  All I know is she doesn't seem to have a social media presence.  My only hope is that one of her coworkers "friends" her on their social media and I could, by association, know her.  Until then, I'll just keep chatting her up.

Wed April 17, There's a new giant TV at San Marino.  They're going to use it for messages that patrons won't be reading.  They asked me to create some templates for the TV screen.  I'm pretty sure that I'll create some good templates, but they'll use the most boring version.  Whatever!

A restaurant named Buchanan Arms is closing soon.  TheGirl and I have gone there a few times to have their fish and chips dinner.  Tonight we went, because the restaurant is scheduled to close next month.  I'm not going to sit here and tell you that this place was the most excellent restaurant.  What I will tell you is that it's sad that some thing have to change.  TheGirl and I were in the shop next door to the restaurant, when we started talking to someone there who mentioned that the new restaurant is supposed to be a pirate themed restaurant.  Sad.

Oh well.  At least we got to have one last fish and chips.

Cheyenne still has her lampshade on her head, which means no roughhousing.  I know she wants to play, but we can't for fear that her eye will get worse.  There was a point tonight where, after licking my face for the longest time, Cheyenne curled up next to me (as shown above).

Thu April 18, Not much to report from the route today.  I did check out a new lunch spot today, an adobe close to where TheGirl used to live.  I've parked outside the adobe park a few times when it's rained, but I never went inside.  Today I did and I do like the spot.  Only two dummies showed up late into my lunch break.  They were giving me looks, but I think I can mitigate this next time by shifting my seating arrangement.  Good times.

Fri April 19, When I was up in Montrose one of my coworkers asked if she could film me for some school project.  She wanted to ask me a couple of questions, which I was fine with.  She also asked TheRose some questions (pictured above).  TheRose is so pretty.  Emma is right in the middle.  The other girl is pretty cute as well.  Lately she's been showing a LOT of cleavage, and it's good.  Damn good.

This is a photo of Chan in San Francisco, the last time I was up there with TheGirl back in 2014.  I would really like to go back to the city this year, but there are so many obstacles.

Sat April 20, Because I have plans tomorrow I asked my aunt if we could go to visit my godmother today instead of tomorrow.  My aunt suggested we go to the Mexican restaurant in Burbank that has some damn yummy food.  I ordered chilaquiles and they were damn yummy.

I haven't hung out with my buddy Vagabundo in a long time.  I've been very anti-social the last couple of years.  It was good to hang out with him though.  We went to get food in Santa Monica.  I've been retreating into myself for long enough.  The world ain't right, but that's no reason not to live.  These little moments are necessary.

Sun April 21, I went up with a coworker to the poppy fields up in Lancaster today.  If she hadn't said anything about this I would no way in hell be traveling up there by myself.  It's a good thing she suggested going.  I've wanted to hang out with this particular coworker for a long time, but in the past when we have come up with plans she flakes.  I honestly thought she would flake this time as well.  But, she didn't.  I took some good pictures up there.  Good times.

My aunt came into my room tonight, just before she went to bed, to ask me if I had been crying this morning or last night.  She said that she thought I had been crying this morning, probably because my eyes were bloodshot this morning.  She further went on to say that she smelled alcohol.  Ohhhhkaaaaay.  Yes, I was drinking with my buddy last night.  No, I was NOT crying last night or this morning.  What of it?  I figured my best bet tonight was to just not respond to her stupid statements.  Do you know what makes me the most unhappy?  Do you know what gives me the most stress?  My aunt.  I've said it before that she is the one person that pushes all my buttons.  I fucking hate her lame statements.  I'm sick and tired of everything she says.  I'm sick and tired of her focusing on me so much.  She needs to have her own life.  I have my life to live, and it's certainly not perfect.

Mon April 22, TheGirl's brother is in town and is going back to the Far East tomorrow, which means she can only see him tonight.  Which means no visit tonight for Chan and me.  I made the best of it.  I went to the 99 cent store to buy some bird seed that my aunt requested a couple of weeks ago.  I haven't been able to bring it home, since ever time I've been to the store near work they have been out of bird seed.  This time I went to one close to TheGirl's place.

I bought myself dinner at Bob's Big Boy, where I sat at the counter.  A pretty girl walked into the place and parked herself on a seat at the counter about five chairs away.  I figured maybe I could chat her up, but I didn't get a chance.  Some doofus sat right next to her and immediately I could read her body language to say, "Get away from me."  She got up and moved down the counter.  Can't blame her.  But besides being attractive, she also looked familiar to me.  When I got home I think I discovered where I saw her before... online.  It would have been nice to have talked to this lady, but oh well.

Tue April 23, Not much to report on the route today.  It's pretty much the same old routine nowadays.  Not much excitement either.  One of my coworkers was up for an interview.  She's nice.  I hope she gets the job.  She deserves it.  The thing is, she may not get it because she's an "old timer."  And by that I mean that it seems that the new director and sub-director are interested in hiring new people, and not from within the system.  That's why TheDesire left.  I wished her the best, but I don't know that she will get the job.

Emma said she was going to text the ex-boyfriend.  I told her it wasn't a good idea, but of course she still did it.  Well, the final word came down from the fella to her.  He told her that there was too much, "Disconnect" between them to, "Continue forward."  There you have it, stated plainly as can be... it's over.  I know Emma was holding out hope, and of course I didn't do much to discourage that hope.  But now it's gone.  She has to face the truth.  I'm still a cad for wondering when I could make my move.  I know, I'm awful.

My aunt has a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning at 8am.  She came out to the backyard to ask me what time she would have to leave tomorrow morning in order to make it to her appointment if my cousin's husband doesn't take her.  My cousin said that her husband would take my aunt to her appointment.  But of course going in a car is going to be faster than on the bus.  My aunt would have to leave the house BEFORE she knew if she was going to get a ride.  Effectively nullifying the ride either way.  I've said it before, my aunt is not logical.  She thinks she won't get the ride that was promised.  But if that's the case I could take her to her appointment and still make it to work with plenty of time to spare.  ARGH!  I don't like the illogical questions she poses me all the time.

Wed April 24, I don't know why, but for a while I've wanted to stay at the Queen Mary hotel.  I guess I have this romantic notion that I will have a good time there.  A few years back there was an online ad for a stay at a yacht moored at one of the harbors in Long Beach.  I thought that was a great idea, but I never committed to booking the yacht.  I should have, even if I didn't have a lady to spend the night on the water with me.

Talia called me earlier this week, and I told her about my want to stay on the Queen Mary.  She's a lady.  I'm pretty sure she would sleep with me if I were to invite her to stay with me on the ship.  I shouldn't count on that though.  Because she's strange, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have a great time with her.  I would rather go alone with Chan, because I know I would have a better time with hims.

Tonight Cheyenne FINALLY had the cone off her head.  Poor thing has had to deal with a stupid cone around her head for about two weeks.  I'm absolutely sure that if I outlive Cheyenne that her death will be as significant as the death of my Mother and Grandmother.  I say that without equivocation because her love for me is pure.  When she was first introduced to me she wanted to tear my head off.  Now my visits make her butt wiggle.  What I am did that.  And what she is made my heart melt.  But let's not talk about that day.  We're all going to face it eventually.  I gave Cheyenne a big chunk of beef from my burger at dinner.  This is why she had her snout on the table, begging for more.

Thu April 25, Vagabundo showed up to Central today.  He told me he was, but I honestly forgot that it was today.  He had to attend a "workshop" for the 3D printers, because it looks like the children's librarian is going full in on this STEAM thing.  It's a fail from jump, but she's still committed to it.  Vagabundo and I have speculated why she's going so hard on this terrible thing.  We figure she's going full "Nazi" on and trying to not get sent to "camp."  In other words, she has had the Kool-Aid.  Grandview's mockery space is yet another failure, and the children's librarian at Casa wants to fail just as hard as Krishna.

Vagabundo later told me that LP did her best to show them how to use the 3D printers.  I just love that these dopes continue to double down on this useless endeavor.

Fri April 26, The route today was pretty standard, so I'll focus this entry on so many library fails.  There's a giant TV screen that's made up of four big screen TVs.  The screen is used to show informational slides.  But, some dope was remotely logging into the computer, but of course they didn't come up to check the actual computer.  Because if they did they would notice the pop up in the middle of the screen for a screen sharing program.  Best thing about this is that the pop up has been there all week.  I saw it on Tuesday and didn't say anything.  Another great "win" for the tech team.  Ha!

This happens to me nearly every time I park for lunch at the park.  Someone will park themselves RIGHT behind me.  Today it happened with a pair of buses.  But I saw someone from the past walking around.  I said "hi" from afar, but the woman didn't hear me and didn't recognize me from afar.  She used to work at San Marino, like seven years ago.  She's still friends with some of our common coworkers.  I didn't make an effort after that to say anything.  I made my way to the van since my lunch was over.  That's when I noticed that the buses were driving away.  They parked up the street.

As I was coming back to drop off the van's key one of my coworkers saw me and then looked up at the door jam.  He pointed out how part of the wood was coming down (as pictured above).  Sure enough, the plank is coming off the frame.  This whole building was built on the cheap.

Mon April 29, Story time at work is on a hiatus.  But don't ask the moms that attend if there's a hiatus, because a bunch of them still showed up tonight asking, "What time is storytime?"  Ah, I KNOW that my coworker told them that they were taking a break.  But, they listen?  About a dozen people still showed up this week to hear story time.  Yeah, no.  Beat it.  Come back in June.

I went to visit TheGirl, for the first time on a Monday in two weeks.  Cheyenne was super excited to play tonight, since we missed playing last week and she had her cone the previous week.  She was pooped at the end.

Tue April 30, I went to bed early tomorrow, and yet I woke up feeling unrested and stiff.  I felt so old.  I have decided that I really need to cut down on the causal drinking.  I also have to cut down on the drinking while I jerk off.  It feels so good, but it's also a big reason why I feel so tired.  It also doesn't help that I have to wait until late at night to jerk off.  I need a girlfriend.  Well, actually, I need a nap.

Yesterday and today, what could best be described as a snake oil salesman, showed up at the library to supposedly teach the dopes about things.  Kvon asked if I wanted to attend, and I told him negative.  The people I asked that attended didn't have any glowing remarks about the meeting.  Even one of the newly minted nazis at Casa didn't have any good things to say.  Others just said it was a waste of time.  Ah huh.  Tell me something I didn't know.  These dopes go around having talks at libraries all over the world.  They're just snake oil salesmen.  This guy sells a "feel good" vibe and knows how to market that into more visits to more libraries.  It's all smoke and mirrors.  Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.  I mean it's just fucking bullshit.

What this guy was selling is this "game" he has everyone play called "Library Island."  He "simulates" the life of a library for five years.  The participants get to be different officials, like director, mayor and such.  They have to make the hard decisions to make the library work.  Yeah, you know what works?  Books!  I'm not opposed to new ides, I'm just opposed to bad ones.  This guy, and DrDeath along with him, sell you a bill of goods that gives library dopes the self satisfaction of having "saved the library."  Well, no you haven't.  You have just made things worse.  I do love that when I got home the city librarian at San Marino sent us all a link to the presenter's online blog.  Whoop-dee-fucking-doo!

Kvon emailed me today that he wants me to train the new back up drivers in the coming days.  He told me that this coming Thursday I'll have one guy, and next Tuesday I'll have another guy.  The Thursday guy will officially be our back up, for all of us.  He's a coworkers brother.  This coworker is nice, so I hope that her brother is as good a worker as she is.  As for the Tuesday guy he's the actual driver.  Kvon said he wanted to give him one of my days, and it looks likely that he's going to take over driving on Friday.  Oh well.  I kinda liked driving on Fridays.  It's chilly.  Kvon wants me to shift to the desk.  It has been about two and a half years since I've worked on a desk at Glendale.  I have not looked forward to returning.  I rather stay out driving, but it's not my decision.  Perhaps it's best to be able to save my body from the constant wear and tear from the route.  It's probably best some younger person take over.  Besides, I think that the new guy won't stay long.  Just saying.