Happy New Year!  For the last few years I have this idea that perhaps THIS is the year that things turn around.  Time will tell if in fact THIS is the year things turn around for the better.  On to the update.

Sat Dec 1, I received an email from San Marino reminding me that the annual employee luncheon was coming up, December 12th to be exact.  I was thinking last night that perhaps I shouldn't even go to the stupid luncheon.  In years past I loved going.  Hey, it was a free meal and I didn't have to be at work helping dopey patrons.  However, this year has been nothing but a cluster fuck.  And in the light of this past week's little "meeting" put another nail in the coffin.

I didn't get to mention in yesterday's entry, but Misa's husband died yesterday.  She sent me a text message.  I called her and left her a voicemail sending my condolences.  So sad.

Sun Dec 2, My aunt and I went to the Honeybaked store to have breakfast for the first time in three weeks.  Last week I was in Carmel.  The week before that the store closed the grill in order to only focus on selling hams.  Because it is primarily a Honeybaked store.  My aunt ordered a burger, which she gave me a piece of to try.  It was quite yummy, but stupid me didn't order any hash browns with my burrito order.  It was OK, I'm way too fat as it is these days.

Work is stupid.  I'm glad I'm taking next Sunday off.

I ordered a scanner and it arrived tonight.  I set it up and started scanning some old slides and prints.  The photo above I took from my photo album. I'm not sure how old I am, but I do know that the photo was taken at my Mom's old job at Cal Prep school in Encino.  I must have been four years old at the time.  This makes me think that I should scan all my old photos so that I can color correct them.  The original has a magenta tint.  I don't want those memories to fade into nothing.

Here is an album of slides that I also have to scan.  I need to make sure all these things are saved somehow.  You know, instead of these library assistant jobs I should really be into archiving.

Mon Dec 3, The library showcased a tweet from DrG today on the library feed.  It showed a bookcase with some of the more "popular" books.  Apparently this book is the "it" book, because there is a TV show on right now based on this book.  DrG feels the library should have these kind of books out in abundance, and easily attainable.  Hence this bookcase being one of the first things you see as you enter the library.  I would say this is going to fail, but I'll reserve judgement for when the evidence shows if it's a success or a failure.

TheLamp's new sign was surrounded by the garland that the analyst came down to decorate the reference desk.  I thought it was funny that he left it like that, so I didn't even try to move it.  I love that this sign is on the side of the desk that I prefer.  This means the sign is right in front of me.  Woo!  Eat it, dopes.  Don't ask me, cause know I have a sign that lets me walk away from this stupidity.

When I arrived home after visiting TheGirl tonight I scanned one picture from my personal photo album.  The first picture in the album is the one above, of my parents.  The back has a date, August 71'.  I did a little touching up of the photo, like color correction and some work on dust that was on the print.  I want to go ahead and scan every one of my photos from all my albums.  This is going to be a long term project, but I think I'm going to love doing this.

Tue Dec 4, Just as I arrived at work I was told that there was going to be a fire drill.  For some reason our designated spot to meet up is three blocks down the street in a church parking lot.  No one understand how our meet up spot is so far away from the main building.  I joked that if the library was on fire I would be heading to my car to go home.  But, we had a "successful" drill.

I've said it before, but any time I don't take my phone into the Pasadena sorting area the cute page is there.  Last week I took my phone with me and sure enough, she was nowhere to be seen.  Today I just said "Fuck it" and didn't take my phone with me.  Of course, as if the Universe was out to mock me she appears.  But not until I had disembarked all the bins and I about to leave.  I told the Pasadena driver as I walked back into the library that I was going to use the restroom.  I barely got a glance at her when I came back.

I posted the picture from DrG's tweet in yesterday's entry here.  Today I wanted to post my own picture of the same book shelf.  As you can see, there are fewer books, but it's not like there have been many checked out.  I told my buddy how small of a difference something like this is in the grand scheme of fixing the library.  But that these dopes upstairs do this bandaid bullshit and declare that these actions have "saved the library."  Bullshit!  These changes are nothing.  There needs to be an overhaul of the whole system.  There has to be an understanding of what the library is, and will be.  And it's certainly not what it currently pretends to be.

Kvon came out of his office as soon as I got in the door today.  He started talking photography.  A few minutes later we ended up taking pictures of the cute page that works in circulation.  For a few minutes we had a nice time taking pictures of the library page.  I know I've wanted to take pictures of her, under different circumstances though.

Wed Dec 5, The above is an email that was sent in anticipation of the rain today.  Of course this is happening because the roof is like a lake, and any more rain will surly cause leaks in the building.  TheGirl mentioned in a text that the roof on that building has always leaked.  You THINK they would have figured how to fix it in all the time they had to prepare for the renovation.  Also, maybe they should have just bulldozed the entire building instead of renovating it.  It's like an old car that you keep dumping money into.  It's never going to be like new.  None of the work done will ever get it to the point that it was when it was new.  And, like an old car, there's a point where you have to let it go and go new.

I'm sure I've said it before, but Wednesday is the best day of the week specifically because of my dinners with TheGirl.  TheGirl mentioned that we might have to leave Cheyenne at home tonight, because it was raining.  I told her we should still take her along with us.  This limited our dinner options.  This one place we go to isn't very good, but it does have a covered patio.  The employees at this place are a bunch of surly duffs.  At least this time our waiter was a nice guy.  But our neighboring table said something when TheGirl asked if we could get a heater closer to us.  One of the women asked, "Why can't they just move closer?" Ah, we have a dog, you douche.  Whatever!

Thu Dec 6, Some dopes that probably didn't slow down in the rain wrapped around each other and caused a backup on the freeway.  Despite leaving early still arrived late to work today.  Thanks, dopes.  I just wish these dopes would slow down when it rains.

Kvon and me and the library page took more pictures today.  I wish I had more time to pose this girl.  She's a good subject because she isn't shy when we take photos.  Kvon obviously doesn't want to be in his office.

The route when it rains can be pretty terrible.  Nevertheless, I've weathered the storms, figuratively and in actuality.  The good thing is that it didn't rain too much when I was on the route, except when I was coming back from Pasadena.  It was coming down in sheets when I was on the Westbound 134 around Eagle Rock (shown above).  But thankfully the rain let up after this and I only got a little wet after dropping off the books at Montrose.  All in all the day could have been much worse.  I really need to get a better jacket for the rain.

Fri Dec 7, The van needed new tires, so I arranged to drop it off at the city garage this morning so it could get new tires and an oil change.  They gave me a loaner van to do the deliveries today.  I've had to use this van in the past, and it's not entirely bad, but it's also not entirely good.  The negatives is that he van is too small.  It also has two bench seats and get in the way of the bins I have to deliver.  Which means having to take the seats out.  They're heavy and hard to put in and out.  Even with the seats out it's not that easy to maneuver the bins since the floor is carpeted.  I can't connect my iPhone to the radio, because it's an old fashioned radio, nothing else.  No auxiliary input either.  The positives are that because of the van is small it rides more like a car.  I did say positives, but the reality is that's pretty much the only positive I can think of at the moment.

Because I started work early, and because there were so few bins, I decided to go down to Atwater village to have a yummy breakfast burrito from Villa Corona tacos.  The breakfast burrito is a real treat.  I wolfed it down and went about the route.  I was still so far ahead of schedule today, despite taking a detour to the burrito joint.  I may have to do this more often.

My plan for today was to drop off the van, get the loaner and use that to do about half of the route.  I took it to Pasadena, did my burrito run, followed by city hall and then back to Central.  I then did three branches, leaving Chevy alone since I visited yesterday.  Then, return to Central to get everything out of the van and back to the garage to pick up the van.  From there, back to Central to load up the van for the second half of the route.  It was a lot of moving pieces, but my plan came off without a hitch.  Nice!  I love it when a plan comes together.  Still, it was a lot of work today, and I'm pooped.

Tonight they were having the library holiday party.  Several people asked if I was going.  Nope.  I don't participate in this shit anymore.  Everyone can eat it.  Also, after the day I had running around I knew that I would be pooped.  After dinner I nearly passed out, but I fought it by getting up and doing something.  But now that I'm here typing this up I'm starting to feel tired again.

Sat Dec 8, TheGirl and I planned on going to Enchanted Forest tonight with her daughter.  But first we had to get some food.  We went to dinner at a restaurant close to Descanso.  I've probably driven by this restaurant a hundred times.  I didn't expect much from the place after going inside.  The place was falling apart, but I have to say that the food was pretty good.  The margarita I had was OK, but it did the job.

Here are some pictures from Enchanted Forest.  Click the photo above to view a short video.

Tonight was a great night.  This is the third year of going to this event.  This is the first time TheGirl and I went with her daughter.  It was good times, for sure.

Sun Dec 9, A couple of weeks ago I told myself that I needed to take more time for myself.  I certainly can't afford to be taking many days off work, but at the same time I have a cap that I have to worry about, and I have to worry about myself.  I need to have more days off.  I considered today a good day since it was Sunday, and I could take off somewhere.  Somewhere like Disneyland, perhaps.  I bolted down there, making great time on the freeway.  But when I arrived they were sending cars to the overflow lot.  This already told me what I needed to know, the park was packed.  I can't handle a packed park.  I just hate people.  This meant the closest I would get to the park was this picture taken while on Harbor blvd.  I drove home and jerked off and had a little booze.  Things I can't normally do because my aunt is always home.  It wasn't Disneyland, but it was the next best thing.  I will try to visit Disneyland on another Sunday I give myself off, but not until after the holidays.

Mon Dec 10, 'nough said.

Tue Dec 11, I walked into the library this morning and saw that the Christmas tree was leaning to one side.  Of course, typical of this place.  They later fixed it, but it just goes to show you how things go here.  The best news I got during the route today was people asking me about the holiday party that was held this past Friday.  It looks like no one attended.  Certainly none of the managers.  Not Kvon, nor Syco, nor Snow, nor Krishna.  As a matter of fact, by my count, apparently only fifteen people showed up to the party.  Ha ha ha!  I love it.

When I arrived in Pasadena the driver there was not in the sorting room.  It turned out that he was busy opening up the library, because the guy that usually does it was off.  This gave me a chance to look at that damn schedule on the wall.  I FINALLY had the time to take a quick picture of the schedule.  Knowing the Pasadena page's first name narrowed the search.  I went about bringing in some bins in order to give me an excuse for being in that part of the room.  The picture came out a little blurry, but not enough that I couldn't read the names.  And yes, I finally know her full name!  Woo hoo!

As soon as I got back into the van I googled her name and found a few pictures of her on the image search (shown above).  Yup, that's her.  I don't know much about her, but I do know she's cute in these photos.  I'll probably never get to actually know her.  I'll probably just remain the creepy guy that shows up to drop off the pick up books.  Nevertheless, right now she holds my attention.  I'm interested in getting to know her.  Will it ever happen?  I sure hope so, but who knows now.

I went to the graphics department and picked up a really heavy box of fliers for whatever (shown above).  It turns out to be yet another bullshit flier made by the dopes upstairs to create buzz around some dopey thing that they call "Customer appreciation celebration."  I like how EVERYTHING they're "selling" is nothing but a shit show.  Nearly everything they are touting has been nothing but a failure.  Hot spots have nearly all been checked out by employees.  Self-checkout, doesn't work.  The old iPads they bought are now sitting in the basement.  The scanning machines took over a year to get up and running, and still don't work in all branches.  To jump ahead, the online payments cost the city money since the city eats the cost of the fees.  No one uses the live chat.  Etcetera, etcetera, Etcetera.

Wed Dec 12, This has certainly not been a "fun" year at my San Marino job.  Today was the yearly luncheon, and I nearly didn't go.  But, to quote Ilsa, I'm a "Responsible dumb dumb."  I had actually work that I needed to get done today, and so instead of going to Disneyland like I originally intended to, I went to the luncheon.  The food was not up to the par of previous years.  But, it's a free lunch, and who doesn't like a free lunch?  Especially when it means not having to be at work.

January of this year marked the start of my tenth year at San Marino.  They gave me a certificate and a promise of a pin at the city luncheon.  There were five of us that celebrated ten years, but one three of us showed up for the luncheon: T, H, and myself.  We've probably been the most reliable workers at that job.  I can't believe that it's been ten years, and about to start my eleventh year.  In the back of my mind I told myself that I kinda hope that I don't get a fifteen year pin.  I think I need to leave this job.  Wait, not think, I know.  The writing is on the wall, things are not going to get better here.

After tonight's dinner with TheGirl she drove by a house decorated for the holidays.  Before that we walked up the street and visited a tree lot.  It was so nice to have that smell of pine in the air.  Just smells fresh.  I honestly thought of buying a small tree, but I'm down to the last few bucks in my bank account.  Also, TheGirl was driving.

Thu Dec 13, The new art installation in the library is a "prison cell."  I texted my buddy that this was apropos.  What gets me about this art stuff is just how much money the city spends on this stuff while no one cares about these things.  I personally like the people that put these exhibits together.  They do a lot of work, and I do like some of the displays.  However, what I don't like is this idea that the city spends so much money on this stuff while neglecting other things.  Such as my raise!  Ha!  But really, the turnover time on these displays is too short.  One is up for not even two months and then next one is already to be put up.  Not good.  Perhaps having them be changed every quarter of a year would be good.  Whatever!

There's an attractive woman that walks her dogs in the park and on the side lawn of the library when I'm getting the van ready for delivery.  Today I chatted her up a bit.  I found out her name, and she shook my hand.  Immediately I thought that perhaps I need to get to know this woman.

I was able to talk to someone that went to last week's holiday party at the library.  He told me that it was shit, to paraphrase.  He didn't like that there was no music, and that it ended so early.  Just when it was kinda getting started they shut it down.  No thanks, this one person said.  Also, I will say that these dopes scheduled it on a Friday.  Who the fuck wants to go back to work on a Friday night for a so-called holiday party?  Certainly not me, and I'm in the building.  They can just go fuck themselves.

It's also apropos that the Christmas tree in the middle of the library is so poorly done.  It feels as though there are two lights on the damn thing.  The security guard mentioned that most of the ornaments were at the bottom.  And there are zero fake presents under the tree.  It's a perfect representation of the sloppy way the administration thinks in this building.  Let's just do whatever, nothing really matters.  Such assholery.

Nine years ago today I photographed LM in the all together.  That was a great day.  I wish things were seemingly simple like it was with LM.  Well, at first it was simple.  Then it became complicated.  I just wanted a good time.  She wanted more, hence her being married now and in England.  Back to how I got her to pose for some pictures.  Back then she was recently divorced.  She was flirting with me and guys in general.  She would pose for some pictures in various states of dress and share them with some of the guys she was speaking to online.  She showed one of them to me, and that got me thinking of asking her to pose for me.  She agreed.  The rest is history.  I didn't take a lot of photos.  Probably thought that I would have more than this one chance.  I tend to do that, think that there's going to be another chance later on.  There isn't, it turns out.  We were intimate after the shoot.  Years later we were intimate again, because I knew she would accept sleeping with me.  But I was all wrong for her.

Fri Dec 14, It was pretty standard route today.  Nothing out of the ordinary, thankfully.  Nearly all the administrators don't show up on Fridays.  Which is fine by me.

TheDesire texted me today to check up on me.  I was thinking of texting her yesterday, but I let other things get in my way.  She told me that she's considering asking me to do a work shop at her new branch.  I'm hoping this does happen, and that we can get this done.

I keep mentioning how my photo feed brings me memories from the past. Today's sad memory is of my Grandmother, who fourteen years ago was battling cancer.  I honestly can't believe it's been that long.  The crazier thing is that this year marked twenty-four years since my Mother passed.

Mon Dec 17, In my "travels" around my old files I ran into the picture above.  I took the picture something like fifteen years ago.  I looked at the image the other day on my website and found it to be such a piss poor job that I had to re-edit the thing from scratch.  That that lead me to look at some of my old photos.  I want to say that I think I have improved over the years.  I can certainly use photoshop better than I could back then.  But it goes beyond that.  I seriously think that I got a better eye for shots.  That's not to say that I'm all that great.  I still need a lot of improvement.  But I'm working on that.

I "treated" myself to dinner at Ikea today.  They have other items other than the yummy meatballs, but I ended up having the meatballs.  When I went into the store I was hesitant to go inside because I had this fear that Chan would be in the car in a busy parking lot.  I had this fear that someone would want to steal hims.  The fear is irrational, I know.  Nevertheless, I had the feeling something might happen to my monkey.  I think it's a response to some thoughts I've been having lately.  More on that in a bit.

I went to visit TheGirl and Cheyenne tonight, as is the Monday tradition.  I played with Cheyenne and she pooped out quick.  TheGirl mentioned how in the past Cheyenne would play and play and play without getting tired.  But these days she does get tired.  Hence her look in the picture.  She's pooped.

Which brings me to the subject of death.  On my trip to Carmel the thought of death was present since I was listening to a certain audiobook.  The book was great, but the author killed himself recently.  I can't imagine being in that state of mind.  I want to stick around for as long as I can.  But ultimately I'm not going to exist as a person.  My deeds, these words, my photography will hopefully be remembered.  But that's no guarantee.  I'd like to think my consciousness will still exist even if my body doesn't.  But that's bullshit and wishful thinking.  The idea of not being is too abstract, but it's been on my mind.  Cheyenne getting older is just another reminder.  My aunt slowing down is another.  My own body slowing down and breaking down is a constant reminder.  I lead a life that's boring.  I don't want to do anything because of lack of energy.  I honesty didn't even know if I was going to be able to want to go on my Carmel trip.  I thankfully did.  But right before going I wasn't so gun-ho.  Hell, even during the trip I didn't really want to do anything.  But when I look at the few pictures I took I now think of it as a success.  I got away, did a few things and enjoyed myself.  It was over way too fast.  And now I'm here with the thoughts of death all around me.  My aunt isn't well.  She has a doctor's appointment for a follow up for some test they did a while back.  I have a heavy heart, what with the anniversary of my Grandmother being diagnosed with cancer being a constant reminder during this month.  This is how this starts.  There needs to be a follow up and the follow up turns out to be the diagnosis.  I don't know what to do.

Tue Dec 18, I do love this time of year.  The light of the sun looks great on everything I photograph.  Even my neighbor's house, as seen above.

Wed Dec 19, TheGirl decided to leave Cheyenne at home tonight, because she wanted to go get some fish and chips.  The place we went to doesn't allow dogs.  I feel really bad when we leave Cheyenne at home these days.  I know I only have a limited amount of visits with her in both our lifetimes, and so I want to spend as much time visiting with her as possible.  Still, the fish and chips tonight really hit the spot.  The live band was pretty decent as well.

Thu Dec 20, I arrived at Pasadena and I wondered if I would see Pasadena page today.  I usually don't see her on Thursdays.  I did my thing and moved the bins in and out of the van.  Just at the end of the process she walks into the sorting room.  She said something to one of her coworkers and I finally got to hear her speak.  She was wearing running shorts, and her figure was just so in my face.  I lingered for a moment when she came into the room.  As she finished talking she turned back and our eyes locked for just a moment.  A half a second, at most.  In that time she could have smiled.  She could have given me a slight nod of acknowledgement.  I received none of those things.  She slightly furled her eye brows as if to say, "Why are you looking at me?" Crushing, to say the least.

After coming back from Pasadena Kvon tells me he wants to see me in his office so he can give me my work evaluation.  He gave me a really good evaluation.  Glowing almost.  A few years back they created a new form with new metrics for the evaluation.  Basically they made it so that you either get a "satisfactory" evaluation, an "exceptional" evaluation or a "negative" evaluation.  There is no grey area from good to great.  Nothing in between.  In addition to only having those three options, the city has discouraged supervisors from giving employees "exceptional" scores on any of the metrics.  But, Kvon gave me exceptional on I believe four of the metrics.  THAT's super good.  Following the evaluation he tells me that my raise should be going through.  I later checked and sure enough I received a $1 raise, per hour.  Good.  I deserve it big time.  It's nice to appreciated... for once.

Fri Dec 21, When I go and drop off the books for the library on December 31st that will be the last day for six months that I'll be driving to Pasadena.  Which means I won't see Pasadena Page for that time.  FML!  Look, I'm not sitting here thinking I have much or any chance with this girl.  Especially after the look she gave me on Tuesday.  However, it's just nice to see her and be in her presence and have that vague thought that perhaps I could somehow talk to her and that might be the first step toward something good.  Not very likely to happen, but a man can dream.  That's all I ever do.

AD sent this email out last week, but I forgot to mention it before now.  It shows how these dopes are going "all in" with the self checkout machines.  This is them going full throttle into fail.  The self checkout machines just don't work 100% of the time.  Hell, we humans can't even be that accurate.  Now you take a layperson and give them the job of checking out their books and you run into a lot of problems.  Like how Pasadena books still need to be scanned with the laser scanner verses the RFID scanner.  We the workers there have issues with that.  How is a dummy patron supposed to deal with these things?  Everything these dopes in administration touch turns to shit, because at the core they don't know what they're doing.  I'm going to love watching this shit show from the peanut gallery.

When I got home my aunt asked me, as she does every time, what I want to eat.  And as I answer every time I told her that I wanted to first take off my work clothes.  This time she listed to that.  She made some pretty good chili the other day and when she asked me what I wanted for dinner I told her chili, of course.  She asked if if I wanted anything else.  There was half a roll leftover from the other day, so I asked her to warm that up.  She comes into my room a few minutes later with the above (see photo).  She tells me, "I over toasted the bread."  Ah, what?  Also, I should add that she chopped onions and grated cheese for this chili, but failed to put EITHER on my chili before or after she warmed it in the microwave.  It was her suggestion the other day.  ARGH!  I tell her to just chill and rest when I come home.  I add that I'll fix it when I'm ready.  Which means I'll fix it the way I LIKE IT.  She NEVER takes that hint.

There's also this whole thing that is a constant theme, my Godmother's benefits.  The "rest home" where my Godmother is living wants some papers for whatever reason.  I asked my aunt to call them and ask for an email address where we could just send the documents.  This way my aunt doesn't have to go.  Because my aunt said she was going to go down there.  But, of course the fatal flaw was asking my aunt to get the email, because any time she writes down an email she fucks it up.  Sure enough, the email address she got from the "rest home" is a mishmash of words that only serve to get me a return email from the mail daemon.  I will, of course, have to clean up this mess.

Mon Dec 24, There isn't much to say about the last couple of days, so I'll wrap that up right now.  Work was pretty chill yesterday, as expected.  I'm sure it will be that way next week as well.  I hope.  I slept in this morning, and it was nice.  My aunt gave me some shirts for Christmas.  Good times.  It was also nice to sleep in as well.

My family called around noon to say that they were going to come around for dinner tonight.  I'm not sure why they don't say something until the last minute.

Before my family showed up for dinner I was doing some things online.  In my internet travels I spotted some photos of TheRose from work (shown above).  She modeled for a make-up artist, but she should be modeling for me.  Sigh.

The family showed up a little earlier than they said they would, and they showed up with a bunch of food.  I got good and stuffed from all the food.  And the added bonus is that they didn't linger for much more than a couple of hours.  It actually turned out alright.

Tue Dec 25, After my family left last night I waited until my aunt went to bed to start drinking some whiskey.  I stayed up pretty late, hence me sleeping in this morning.  I woke up around 8am, but I went right back to sleep.  Around 11:30am I woke up again to the sound of my aunt's footsteps at my doorway.  It's like she can't wait to wake me up so she could make me breakfast.  ARGH!  I just want to be left to rest.  But for some reason she can't just let me be.

A good example of this was my aunt last night.  She was sitting a couple of spaces away from me, with my uncle sitting between us.  There was a point where my aunt gets up, moves her chair next to me, and is now sitting in the small spot between my uncle and me.  It was cramped.  But for some reason she needed to be sitting next to me.  Look, I love her, but I don't need anyone that close to me.  I'm a fucking grown man.

As I was saying earlier, my aunt woke me up by coming into my room around 11:30am to check up on me.  She could have just poked her head into my room, but she actually took a step into my room.  My wood floor is really noisy, so of course I could hear her talking in.  I just wanted her to leave me along on my days off.  I think I might have to go back to going out on Saturdays.  I don't like having someone jump all over me on my day off.

I did another search for Pasadena page.  I found more stuff, and the more I know the more I wonder why I bother.  And at the same time the more I know the more I want to get to know her.  But how do I get into her life?

Wed Dec 26, I work at San Marino on Wednesdays, but I checked my email from Glendale to find that the other driver called out sick today.  Which means I'm going to be carrying two day's worth of bins tomorrow.  Good thing that these days the carryover from these sorts of things isn't as bad as in the past.  Hell, I was thinking back to the days of the renovation, and how taking sixteen bins to the Casa branch was not unusual.  These days I don't take much more than twenty bins for the entire route.  Even with two day's worth I don't pack as many as I did in the renovation days.  Which is a good thing, but I'm just pointing that out.  Despite that I'm sure there will be a good number of bins for me tomorrow.  ARGH!

There are some quotes from the book I listened on my way to Carmel.  The quotes pertain to line cooks, but it's apropos to this whole calling out sick thing.  Because, and maybe I'm the idiot for doing this, I don't call out sick, unless I'm dying.  I think I've called out sick no more than a half dozen times in nearly ten years at the library.  Meanwhile, Benedict called out sick practically once on a month.  And now my "associate driver" called out sick about two times, and he's taking days off.  Again, maybe I'm the idiot for not taking more days off.  But, if I don't go into work I don't make money.  And I don't know about my associate, but I need to make money.

From Kitchen Confidential, "Most of the Ecuadorians and Mexicans I hire from a large pool - a sort of farm team of associated and often related former dishwashers - are very well-paid professionals, much sought after by other chefs.  Chances are they've worked their way up from the bottom rung; they remember well what it was like to empty out grease traps, scrape plates, haul leaking bags of garbage out to the curb at four o'clock in the morning.  A guy who's come up through the ranks, who knows every station, every recipe, every corner of the restaurant and who has learned, first and foremost, your system above all others is likely to be more valuable and long-term than some bed-wetting white boy whose mom brought him up thinking the world owed him a living, and who thinks he actually knows a few things.

You want loyalty from your line cooks.  Somebody who wakes up with a scratchy throat and slight fever and thinks it's okay to call in sick is not what I'm looking for."

Maybe I'm doing this wrong though.  I did tell my buddy that he has to look out for himself.  But I also take pride in doing the work.  On the route I might be slow, but I arrive at each branch at nearly the same time every day I drive.  And yes, the job can get repetitive, but THAT'S THE JOB.  It's not meant to be fun.  It's mean to get done.  Whatever!  All I know is that a chill goes up my back when I hear my "associate" say that he's taking days off.  Because it means I have to carry him.  I have to carry that load.  It also means that no one will be covering his hours.  It also means that it's up to responsible dumb dumb here to pick up the slack and still finish on time.

It was cold tonight, which is why TheGirl suggested that for my night I could pick something up and bring it to her place.  That way Cheyenne, and us for that matter, be subject to the cold while sitting on a patio at some restaurant.  There is one place that has an enclosed patio, but I don't really like the food there anymore.  At one time the food there was OK, but now it's meh.  I picked up some Zankou and took it back to her place.  As per usual, it was good times.

Thu Dec 27, Working during the holiday season is not so bad when the freeways are wide open.  This morning my commute to Glendale was all of twenty minutes.  This despite going to get gasoline.  I flew down the highway.  Oh, it's so great when it's like this.  But, it won't last that much longer The holidays are coming to a close soon, and then the brats go back to school.  That's when the real onslaught starts on the road.  Not looking forward to that.

The other driver called out "sick" yesterday, and because of that I had twice the load today.  Though, I will say that the number of bins have not been to the old levels in the days during the renovation.  Not to say there were no bins, but the majority of the bins today were for and from Pasadena.  Finishing up the route there were about twenty bins going to Pasadena tomorrow.  I'll probably end up getting a lot of bins tomorrow, but it's nothing I can't handle.

It turned out not to be a terrible route today.  Yes, it was a little more busy, but at the same time the number of bins going out to the branches was low, because of course they didn't have any bins coming back from Pasadena yesterday.  I'll get those books tomorrow.

Fri Dec 28, I don't have much to say about the route today.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it certainly still tired me out.

I was supposed to hang out with Ilsa tonight after work, but being anti-social and knowing that I would be tired, I flaked out on her.  I used my special delivery to the lady I deliver books to every month as the excuse.  And really it's not a total excuse.  To drive out to Sun Valley and then drive out to where she lives, in Chino Hills, would be a haul and a half.

Sat Dec 29, My aunt asked me what I wanted for breakfast this morning.  I saw that there were hash browns in the freezer, so I told her that I wanted hash browns with some eggs and hopefully some retried beans.  She told me that we didn't have any beans, but that we still had some chili leftover.  That was fine, I told her She cooked up the eggs and the chili, but totally forgot the one thing I wanted the most... the hash browns.  Sigh.  I went into the kitchen to see if perhaps she was still cooking up the hash browns, but no luck.  She was cooking her own breakfast.  She's getting more and more forgetful these days.

I hung out with Vagabundo tonight.  We went to get some dinner in Burbank.  We haven't hung out much this year, probably just a handful of times, I don't remember.  I've been too tired to do anything.  I feel bad, but I also don't have the energy for these things.  But it is something I need to fix in the coming year.  I was TOO anti-social in 2018.  I flaked out on pretty much all invitations to anything.  The chicken we had was super yummy.  I really liked the cole slaw and the beans.  I also ordered some pretty good mac & cheese.  All in all a good time.

Sun Dec 30, I picked up my aunt and then we picked up some food.  We went home and I was just dead.  My body was achy and my stomach felt bloated.  I went to bed, but didn't get into bed.  I woke up about an hour later and felt really warm.  This, despite the fact that my room is pretty cold.  I felt my forehead and sure enough I was running a fever.  I took some pills and went to bed, hoping to be feeling better the next morning.

Mon Dec 31, Despite feeling really bad this morning I still went to work.  Mainly because I'm a responsible dumb dumb.  The one good thing about today is that when I was in Pasadena I was able to talk to Pasadena page!  I asked her, "Parton me, is the driver here?" She said he was around.  Of course this "conversation" happens on the last day I'll be going to Pasadena for six months.  Fuck me.  Still, it was nice to finally talk to her.

Despite being sick I still drove today.  I don't know if I could have done a full shift feeling the way I felt today.  I barely made it through the route as it was, and I only went to Pasadena, city hall, and two branches.  I went home and passed out.

My aunt wanted to go to the laundromat today after I got off work You know what I hate, I hate that she didn't once ask if I felt too sick to go to the laundromat.  And then after we found that it was closed she asked if I wanted to go to Target.  NO, I told her, "I don't feel well."  We drove home and I went straight to bed.

As if I needed a reminder of how terrible 2018 was I have to suffer through this illness on New Year's Eve.  I feel absolutely awful.  And like I said, this is indicative of this year.  This year just felt like all I could do is try to hang on for the calvary to showed up.  But it never did.

December Wrap-up, December has been interesting.  I do love December because of the Christmas lights and decorations.  And the time off.  But It's also a stressful time of year.  I can't say that this was a bad month, but I can't say it was a great month.  It was kinda just down the middle.  Yes, some positive things happened.  I finally got my raise at Glendale.  No raise is going to be coming to me at San Marino, since I'm at the top there.  In short, this month gets a C+ grade.

Carmel beach is gorgeous.  I took this on the last day of my trip, which had the most perfect weather.  Of course, just as I'm leaving for home, the weather turns perfect.

I took this picture as I walked to the beach to take a picture of the sunset.  I rather like this photograph though.  And technically it is a picture of a sunset.

On my recent trip to Carmel I actually drank a cup of coffee to wake me up.  The contents of THIS cup, however, is not coffee.  It's whiskey.

I feel the need to record myself reading one entry a month.  For this first entry read I picked Wednesday December 26 to read.