I'll just come right and say it.  If this month is any indication this is going to be yet another shit year.  On to the update.

Sun Jan 1, I slept in this morning, if you want to consider 8:30am sleeping in.  I do these days, and it was nice.  I was laying in bed, not wanting to get out.  But, of course I had to take a piss, and that got me out of bed.  I texted TheGirl good morrow just as she was texting me.  Jinx, I said.  Then she invited me out to breakfast.  I didn't take a shower yesterday, but I told her I could be ready in about forty minutes.  She was going to walk her dog over to Paty's on Riverside, which is close to her place.  She didn't take her dog for a walk yesterday, and she felt that she was restless.

Breakfast was nice, I had something called a pan fry.  Loaded with hash browns, peppers, egg, onions, steak and slices of avocado on top (pictured above).  We parted ways and I went back home, and she walked back home.  It was nice of her to invite me out. 

On my way home I hit the 99 cent store and the drug store to pick up a prescription my aunt wanted.  I went home and told her that we could go visit my Godmother.  We hadn't done that in over a week.  I know she wants to go visit her, but she doesn't know how to get there on the bus yet.  My aunt got ready.  As we were going she mentions that we should get some oranges for my Godmother.  So, I stopped by Whole Food by my house.  It's a fancy market.  The one by my house is super tiny.  I wonder if it's nice to work there.  It's hard to get lost in such a small market.  The Ralph's I used to work in must be at least six or seven times bigger than this thing.  I did see some food that looks good though.  I might have to come here to check out some things.

We went to visit my Godmother.  She was sitting up when we got to her room.  We brought her some slippers and some more clothes.  She seemed down when we arrived.  There was a point where my aunt went to put her clothes away that I noticed my Godmother's eyes get really sad.  I've seen that look enough to know what it means.  She's said.  I think we need to visit her more often.  I want to take her some things, like magazines or something.  But I'm not sure she wants that.  Still, I should take them just in case.  I feel bad, because she will get better physically, but then her mental state has to be worked on. She kept on saying that she fell, but I seriously doubt that she feel like she said.  Or that she wasn't picked up at all for a while.  She tends to invent or conflate different things that may have happened, but may not have happened the way she says.  In the hospital one of the doctors told another doctor that she was a, "unreliable narrator."  That pretty much covers it.  Poor thing.

This photo pretty much covers it.  I've burned some bridges this past year.  The biggest one being TheDesire.  I'm not going to wait around for her any more.  I had to move on.  I love her, I know that I do.  But I'm certainly not in love with her.  That level would entail us being in an actual relationship.  Not just a friendship.  She's my friend... the friend I never interact with.  Ha!  I just need this space, as I've said many times here.  I don't want to repeat my mistakes.  I want to ask Desiree out.  And find out if TheLamp is attached, and get to know her as well.  And yeah, maybe even ask Salbi out.  All these things need to get done in 2017.

Mon Jan 2, For no good reason I'm working today.  I wasn't sure how I could avoid all the Rose Parade traffic.  But, I couldn't take the day off, like some people did, just to avoid the traffic.  I went online, check and rechecked possible routes to work.  I finally decided to just go past my exit and east of all the commotion.  I took Madre all the way down to Huntington, and then went down Huntington.  It worked out so well that I was actually at work earlier than usual.  I also left the house earlier in order to deal with possible detours.  As you can see in the picture above, Ventura was dead empty.  I was one of the few suckers that was going to work today.  Fucking shit.

I was talking to pseudo supervisor and there was a moment that she mentioned TheLamp.  The thread continued and she drops the relationship bomb.  She mentioned that TheLamp has a boyfriend.  Well what did I expect?  She's attractive, smart, and seems to be a total dynamo.  Yeah, why would anyone like that be single?  And why would anyone like her want to be with me?  I did tell my buddy that the year of pussy didn't mean the year of love.  I have to focus on that.

I went to visit TheGirl after work.  Poor thing hurt her back sneezing.  Yes, sneezing.  She could hardly move when I got there.  I played with her dog, and tired her out.  Boy was Cheyenne tired.  TheGirl was glad I tired puppy out, since she couldn't take her for a walk.  I was glad to do it.

Tue Jan 3, After the new year the route used to start at 9am, but I told Les that it might be a good idea to keep it at 8am.  Mainly it was because my buddy said that it would be easier for him to deal with traffic.  Tomorrow will be the test of that idea.  For me, I was early to work, as usual.  Once at work I noticed no Jade, as usual.  He didn't work on Friday, so I was ready to face a pile of unsorted bins.  But, what I found is some bins had been sorted.  Mind you, not all of them, but at least 75%.  I sorted the rest of the bins, and then began to get the bins into the van.  The sorting cost me about an hour, which meant that I would be out the door an hour later than what would be considered normal.  It was fine, I'm not going to kill myself.  I'm just going to get the job done.  I'm not just doing this out of the goodness of my heart, I need the cash.  Helping out like this will hopefully let me get some extra hours.  I sure do need the extra bread.

Last week I cleaned out the van's center console.  When I did I found the missing bolt to the dolly we use to move stuff around.  I figured I would get a washer and nut and fix this thing.  Today I drove over to the hardware store up the street from city hall and bought a washer and a nut.  I stupidly forgot to bring a tool to tighten the nut, but thankfully I remembered that Montrose has a tool kit in the back lounge.  While I was heating up my lunch I went to the tool box and took a wrench and tightened up not only the new nut, but all four nuts.  Good as new.  I later noticed that the dolly made less noise, and the handle was nice and tight.  I like.

Despite it being a little chilly, I would rather have my lunch in the park where it's pleasant, than having it at the branches where people feel the need to ask twenty questions.  Twenty if I'm lucky.  There seems to be no end to the question when I'm having lunch at the branches.  But does one person really give a shit about what the answers are?  Nope.

During my lunch break I noticed that TheDesire's FB had an interesting proposal.  I'm not sure of all the details, but I'm in.  The other day I was texting Emma about how I haven't texted TheDesire since October.  I told her I kinda wanted to, but at the same time I didn't.  I know, I'm an idiot.  I shouldn't have done this, huh?  Oh well, now I'm in.  No details yet today, but maybe more in the coming days from TheDesire.

After getting done with the route I decided to stay a little longer after work to get some hours.  When we don't go to Pasadena the route used to start at 9am and end at 3pm.  Now that we're still starting at 8am, the route will likely end at 2pm.  There's no way I can survive losing yet another two hours per week.  I decided to ask for some hours at Central, since none of the branches are giving me any hours.  Thankfully the boss said yes.  It wasn't easy.  I sorted my entire load plus what was left from Friday's load.  I was going all out, and it still took me about an hour and a half to finish up.  Having some tunes helped, but man, I was beat.  Still, I did add an hour today, and I think that on Thursday I'll be able to add two.  Any little bit will help.

Jade and I went on a quick little tour of the construction zone in the library.  There has been SOME progress made, but I still don't know how the fuck they think they're going to have this all finished by March.  Oh well, whatever.  Not my problem.  I will say they have made some progress, they are at least working on the new elevator facade.  And the new staircase is coming along.  There's still A LOT of work to be done though.

Over the Christmas holiday a couple from Southern California went up to Big Sur for vacation.  The news has featured them, because they disappeared.  They reports say that they turned off their phones.  But as Big Sur is old hat to me now I know that there's little to no service in Big Sur.  Today the news came in that they might have found their car, just South of the Ragged Point Inn, and just North of San Carpoforo canyon.  There's a viewing spot up there, where I have stopped many a time, that appears to be the spot where their car went over the edge.  The highway there is truly high, easily over three hundred feet above the sea.  Sometimes more, other times less, but this part is particularly high.  I've often wondered how people can walk around the edge without the thought that they shouldn't be so close to the edge.  No one knows what happened to this couple, yet.  But it's very likely they misjudged the distance, or there was some sort of mechanical failure to their car.  Time will tell.

Wed Jan 4, Because of my slacking off, and also dealing with Godmother stuff, I was late with my assignment.  I had to create five posters for the open house.  Even though they won't be up during open house.  Or at least up in the gallery.  So, today I had to rush and get these things done.  I did do a lot of the leg work over the weekend, on my own time.  But today I had to put the finishing touches and print the things.  I barely had enough time to finish the posters, print them, and put them in frames.  But I did it.

How I mostly did it was that I skipped my lunch break.  I had to use that time to rush the posters.  While one printed I was framing another one.  I did that five times and finished with just a few minutes before I had to start my desk shift.

TheLamp was on the desk before me, and before she left she told me that she had a busy morning.  Great, I thought.  I'm going to be busy and I have nothing in my stomach.  But, thankfully the shift was pretty chill.

One cool thing that happened was that a patron called to say that he was looking for a DVD.  The computer said it was on the hold shelf, but when I went there there was nothing.  Damn.  I looked, and looked, and looked.  Nothing.  The guy even came over and I felt back that he had made a trip for nothing.  I was sitting on the desk, and I decided to try one more time.  Sure enough, I found it in the Zs.  Not even close to where it was supposed to be, in the Gs.  Oh well, at least I found it.  It felt really good to have found it.

TheGirl not only threw her back out sneezing, she has a cold.  I told her we didn't have to have dinner, but she wanted to get some soup for dinner to hopefully help her feel better.  We went to a restaurant that we don't get to visit often, because they don't allow dogs.  These days TheGirl HAS to bring her dog along with her.  I get it, puppy is cooped up at home all day.  But, tonight she let her dog stay home.  We had a nice dinner.  I had a couple of margaritas.

Thu Jan 5, Last night I had a short conversation with my buddy before I had dinner with TheGirl.  He told me that when he returned from the route the Pasadena bins had not been taken upstairs from the dock.  He went on to say that he could not assume it was his job to do so since Jade was there.  I didn't think much of it until I saw the bins this morning.  Obviously Jade didn't move them upstairs.  I walked in the door with the boss and he saw them too and wondered why my buddy would just leave them there.  Look, whatever we are it is our job to move things.  We're the delivery drivers, but people expect us to move things.  That's our main function.  It's our job security.  Well, I had to move the bins upstairs with Jade this morning.  Not having the bins upstairs also meant that they were not sorted last night.  So I had to sort them.  I start at work at 8am.  Since we don't go to Pasadena I should be on the road at around 9am, after packing the van.  Today I didn't get going on the route until after 10am.  It took me nearly two hours to sort and to then load the van with the newly sorted bins.  I have to say, my buddy screwed me over with this move.  I know he didn't do it on purpose.  And he did say that he looked for Les to ask him what he should do, but Les wasn't there.  My assumption was that since I'm the driver that day I would take them up.  Granted, it would be better if Jade took them up, but I will say that he is busy.  Still, tomorrow Les will tell Vagabundo that it's the driver's duty to get those bins upstairs.

I had planned on having lunch at Brand today, but because of the bins and such I decided to drive up to Chevy for a nice lunch on my own.  I didn't care what time I got back to base.  At this point they knew I didn't leave on time, and what of it.  I could make some excuse about the weather and such to justify coming back a little later.  Not that I had to.  I heated up last night's leftovers and sat down.  I did not eat breakfast this morning, because I woke up feeling kinda blah.  In fact last night I woke up in the middle of the night feeling blah.  When I woke up this morning I felt like I might throw up.  However, I knew that by morning my stomach SHOULD be empty.  Still, I had that lingering nauseous feeling.  By the time I got to Chevy I was hungry, which is a good sign.  I set my timer to half an hour and had a good and needed lunch.

After lunch the rest of the route fell like dominos.  I was fed, and I was energetic.  I speed through the next few stops and finally stopped to talk to a couple of coworkers at my last stop, Pacific Park.  By then I was tire, but still feeling better than I did this morning.

By the time I was finishing up my last stop I was only about an hour behind schedule.  Well, really nearly an hour and a half.  But at this point that was all mute.  I needed to have some food if I was to survive until 5pm or later.  I went to get a quick bit at Burger Queen.  I had a taco and chicken sandwich.  They weren't great, but they did hit the spot.  I think that if I continue with this long schedule that it might behoove me to bring a lunch and a small dinner snack to keep me from starving.  And to keep me from eating so much fast food.

After the route I got busy sorting the bins.  There were a lot, since Jade didn't sort any of the ones that came in this morning.  I guess that's my job now.  I went all out and it still took me nearly two hours to complete the task.  At the end I was pushing myself to finish the bins.  I don't have to tell you, I was pooped.

Since I know that I'll never have offspring, all that I'll ever leave this world is my photos and these words.  If you could only look at my photos that would be great.  But if you only see this be sure not to judge me too badly.  And if you see both, know that I was like every human.  I was good, but also bad.  I tried, and yet I didn't.  I was willing to say more, but I didn't.  But that last thing... I want to say enough here that you will get a nearly accurate voice stating what I felt about nearly everything.  And with that I say... good night.

Fri Jan 6, I have not been able to get to Disneyland lately.  Last month I had plans on going, but that was the weekend that my Godmother fell and I had to visit her in the hospital on the Sunday I had planned on going.  I set this day at the absolute must day to go, because this is the last weekend the park would have the Christmas overlay on the Haunted Mansion and entire park.  When I got to the old tram boarding area I noticed all the changes that have been made.  They made the boarding area much bigger, mainly because of the security tents.  These tents used to be right by the park, but now they decided to move them to just outside the parking structure.  The last few times I went to the park I noticed they were doing some construction by the boarding area.  I didn't think it would take this form.  And actually, you can tell that they are not done yet and this is temporary.  There is still a lot of work to do.

I hope they fix the walkway issue to the park.  The walkway now goes part way through the parking structure and then exists on the other side of all the security.  It wasn't horrible though.  And I have to say that the lines at the downtown Disney security are MUCH shorter than the ones at the parking structure.

Just as I arrived at the security check point I got a call from Vagabundo.  He had news about Tuesday's bin drama with him and Jade.  Well, today it came to a head and the short version is that now the drivers will start at 9am and one of our duties is to take those bins up to pseudo circulation.  This is thanks to Jade not having the time to go downstairs.  I have to say, my buddy didn't bring up the bins on Wednesday and because of that I had to not only take them up on Thursday, but I had to sort them.  I don't know why my buddy feels that it's not our job to move these bins up.  Certainly the timing is bad, but now it won't be.  Also, it's our job to move stuff.  That's what we are there to do.  They don't want us for our brain, they want us for our brawn.  Still, my buddy did make a good point about how Jade doesn't want to do it.  He doesn't.  I half understand it.  I'm not saying this is ideal, but at the same time I've now seen how much work it is to sort, and it's not easy.  I go all out and I don't finish the task in less than two hours.  That's a lot.  In the past I would do it in one hour, and sometimes have time to spare.  But the volume of books is too much now.  Anyway, I'll stop.  Jade is partially right in this, but I can't tell my buddy that.  As it is we will just start an hour later at 9am.  I'm actually more happy about that, since I find it so difficult to wake up so early.  But yeah, this just makes Jade put a bullseye on Vagabundo.  Jade called me and expressed his feelings that Vagabundo was mad at him.  I know my buddy says he wasn't, but Jade thinks he was.  Oh well, for now the problem has been resolved.

I FINALLY got to the park.  It's been too long since I've been here.  I've been reluctant to come to the park, because of the crowds and such.  But today I was so ready to be here.  I still love this place.  I just wish I didn't have to wake up so early in order to not run into a mega crowd of dopes.

My whole purpose in today's trip to Disneyland was to ride the Haunted Mansion.  I love that attraction, and love the Nightmare Before Christmas overlay.  I didn't want to miss it this year.  Today was the absolute last day I could make it.  Unless I wanted to come on Sunday, but I didn't want to do that.  Not after work.  Thankfully the line for the Mansion wasn't too bad.  When I got there it said about half an hour wait.  And that's about what it was.  The line moved quickly.  Once inside it was cool.  Like visiting an old friend.  The ride was over way too quickly.

While in line I was already getting hungry.  I needed something to eat.  When I got off I went right to the Hungry Bear.  I had thought to maybe get a Monte Cristo, but that place is usually packed.  My best chance was to go to Hungry Bear.  When I got there I noticed they still had the pulled pork dog.  I had it last year when I visited Disneyland with Shay.  It was good then, and good today.  I ordered up some onion rings on the side and chowed down.  For sale was also a pineapple upside down funnel cake that looked way yummy.  After the dog I felt like I could possibly put a dent into one of those funnel cakes, but at the same time I thought better of eating that.

On my way back to my car I took a moment to look from the parking structure and snap the above photo of Star Wars land under construction.  It doesn't look like there's been a lot of progress, but there has been.  A lot of foundations have been poured, and so have retaining walls.  I noticed that a lot of the new train route in Frontierland was being worked on.  There has been a lot of progress made.

From about the time I was thinking of getting a pineapple turnover funnel cake at Hungry Bear I started feeling a little down.  Like I was a watch and I was winding down.  I got out of the park, but not before buying a churro.  It was super nice and warm.  It really hit the spot.  But I was tired and I didn't want to wait in any more lines.  I took the tram, and on the ride I was feeling worse.  My heart was beating fast, and by the time I got to my car I didn't feel good.  I turned on the beat monitor on my watch and it showed my heart was beating at about one hundred twenty beats a minute.  That's pretty quick.  Especially since the previous reading a few days ago was in the nineties.  I didn't feel I should drive home just yet, so I decided to take a short nap.  Hoping that I would feel better when I woke up.  I set an alarm on my phone and fell like a rock to sleep.  When I woke up twenty minute later I wasn't feeling great, but better than when I first got into the car.  I decided it would be better to drive home.

The drive home was interesting, since my heart beat was slower, but it was still over a hundred beats a minute.  When I got home I just went to bed.  I started to mediate in order to slow my heart rate.  It worked, but that blah feeling didn't go away.  I hope to feel better tomorrow.

Sat Jan 7, For some reason I looked up an old professor that I had back when I was going to school at Santa Monica college.  I had such a crush on this woman.  I don't know how many times I went to her office and wanted to ask her out to dinner.  Of course I never did.  But she still influenced my life by helping me come out of my shell.  Taking those two speech classes really helped me out of my shell.  I wish I could have known her better.  I wonder what would have happened if I had asked her out for dinner.  And if she had said yes.  Oh well, I'll never know now.

I stayed in my pajamas today.  I tried to stay in bed, but I just couldn't.  I am happy to report that I feel better.  No rapid heart beat.  Just feeling a little blah.

I went online and got an email from that organization that I donated money to after hearing the story of a jerk family abandoning a dog in the snow.  The poor thing was left to die.  In the latest update email they show that he is now recovering and has gained eight pounds.  Always happy to hear a happy story like this in this slaughterhouse of a world.

Sun Jan 8, I woke up feeling nearly 100%.  Not quite, but MUCH better than Friday or yesterday.  Good enough that I didn't feel like I couldn't go to work.  Granted, I like not going to work on Sundays for nearly a week.  But, I had to go back for sure.  I hoped that today wasn't going to be too busy.

Above is an example of my work at work.  This is one of the posters I had to make for the gallery.  This is what I had to do on Monday and get done on Wednesday.

There was a moment today when I went up to the circulation desk and talked to my coworker about books on the staff pick shelf.  She says to me, "Why not my book," for a possible pick by me.  I told her I had to read it first.  She looks it up on the computer and that's when I see that it's a book written by her.  I was floored, to say the least.  I went and got it, read a tiny little bit, and did put it as my staff pick.  It's super full of Jebus references, but I think it's cool that she wrote a book.  Especially since I've yet to write one.  Fucking BS.

I found this photo on Instagram.  It's not bad, but the caption says it all.  Especially the last line, which is my favorite.

"Standing on the cliff looking up at Orion's Belt, I felt like I was standing on the edge of the universe.

There is something about standing there, a continent behind you and the vastness of the Pacific in front that makes you know you're somewhere special.

I saw this post by TheDesire online as I was checking on something else.  In the past I would have thought how I should have been there with her.  And thoughts of what might have been would have filled my mind.  Today I just think meh.  I was feeling bad about not texting her since October, but really why the fuck should I care?  I plan on really living this year.  Fuck TheDesire, and fuck everyone.  They can all eat it.

Mon Jan 9, Not only is today Monday, but the kids are back in school, and it's raining, and there was an accident on the 134.  This time it was Westbound, but it still slowed the Eastbound traffic because of all the people looking.  Hey, I get it, you want to see blood.  But I need to get to work.  Thankfully the slowdown wasn't so bad on the Eastbound 134.  The other side, horrible.  It was a parking lot.

Today I had quite a bit of work to do.  Mainly pertaining to the bookmark contest.  I had to put the winners onto the template of the bookmarks so that they can be printed out.  Always good times.  It was a busy day at work today, that's for sure.

Of course I went to visit TheGirl after work.  She still isn't feeling 100%, and I'm not feeling that great some times.  I feel so bloated, and I get like a heart burn pressure thing above my heart and below my throat.  Not good.  It feels like a cough that wants to come out, but never does.  Still, before I started feeling that I played with puppy, who was super excited and aggressive.  It's only forty days until our next trip!

Tue Jan 10, I get into work after battling it out in the 8am to 9am traffic.  It was much worse than when I was coming in last week at 8am.  Granted, all the brats are now back in school, but still.  My commute last week: thirty minutes.  This week: forty-five minutes.  Just great.  And when I arrive I find the above.  None of the books from yesterday's delivery have been sorted.  Which means I'm going to have to do it.  Of course.  Which means I've YET to drive the route at my appointed time.  Since the new year I've driven now three times.  Each time I start the actual route later and later.  Today I didn't even try to rush.  I said fuck it.  Jade wants me to sort the bins at the end of the route.  Well, there was no time since I didn't get back until 5:15pm tonight.  I sorted some books, but there was no way I was going to rush through everything in order to sort at the end of a very long day.  But I did this morning.

By the time I started the route I was starving.  So much I couldn't even wait for me to stop.  I started eating my lunch as I drove.  After going to my first branch stop I was still hungry.  So I went by a Burger Queen to get myself a burger.  I have nearly zero dollars in my pocket, until Thursday when I get paid.  So I had to go cheap and buy of the cheapo menu.  I bought a double bacon burger that cost me about $2.20.  You see how small this thing is?  They should call it a slider, not a burger.  Still, on my budget it hit the spot.

I had about three minutes to go into the construction zone at work to take the above pictures.  The upper left hand is of the new staircase.  Oh it's not even close to being complete.  They still don't have the railing.  At least the actual steps are all in.  But at the top, they don't even have the opening.  The upper right hand picture is of the elevator.  They have been covering the sides of it with wood for two weeks, and this is how far they've gotten.  I can't see the other side, but by the looks from this angle they have not done anything to it since last time.  The lower left hand picture is of circulation.  It looks like nothing has been done to it in weeks.  It's nearly untouched from the last time I was here about three weeks ago.  The lower right hand picture is of one of the bathrooms.  They atlas poured some concrete down, so there isn't a hole in the middle of it where the new pipes were installed.  Clearly there is some work to be done.  Fucking idiots.  My buddy texted me to tell me that they are thinking of moving back the opening date.  You think?  Fucking March 23rd, my ass.

I parked upstairs today, because I didn't want to go down into the basement.  But, of course today being such a shit day, it had to shit on me even as I'm trying to get home.  The parking exit was a mess.  I got into one lane and it stopped moving.  Then I switched, and THAT lane stopped working.  But then then I switched back to my original lane and THAT fucking stopped.  And then when I got up to the machine the fucking thing was saying how I owed $9.  Ah, no.  Mind you, this is supposed to be automated, but of course they have a guy standing by the machines, because they fail so much.  The guy says, "You owe $9."  I tell him, "Look, I work for the library and the machine validated my ticket."  He was fumbling around, not knowing what to say.  I am not going to just sit there, I took out one of the validated tickets I have and inserted it in the machine.  It gave me a $9 credit, and then I put my ticket in and got the fuck out of there.  It took me about fifteen minutes to get out of that fucking parking garage.  Fuck this shit!  Of course it took me an hour to get home.  I so need a drink.  That fucking parking garage was "automated" about a year ago.  Nothing has gone right with that shit.  I like how these idiot administrators think that a machine can take over for a person.  Yes, for many things it can work.  But I think they bought the cheapest machine, because it never works.  The fucking tickets fail to get validated ALL THE FUCKING TIME.  I'm pretty sure that the failure rate must be over 15%.  How is that acceptable?  If I didn't delivery 15% of the books I'm given to deliver what would my boss say?  Would he say it's OK?  No.  Then why is any failure rate on an automated machine OK?  I get little mistakes, but something like this shouldn't have a major failure rate.  Dumb, just dumb.

Wed Jan 11, It was a foggy commute today.  Don't have much to report from work today.  I have some things I have to finish up before the open house on the twenty-first.  So many posters to make and print.  Being sick doesn't help this situation.

I had a flirty moment with Desiree at work today.  I was on the circulation desk leaving a book on the hold shelf when I ended up helping a patron that was waiting for help.  Not wanting to just walk away I helped out this patron.  It turned out that she had a fine that she wanted to pay.  I went to the credit card machine.  While I was there the phone rang.  I answered the phone while the credit card machine ran through its process.  Just then Desiree comes up behind me and presses her body against my back.  Not hard, but undeniable.  In my fantasy she would have kissed my neck.  But, in reality she just pressed her body to mine.  If that isn't a signal though, I don't know what is at this point.  When I told my buddy he just said, "She's asking for it."  I usually dismiss that as guy talk, but this time I think it's a good signal that she does like me in some way.  I do need to ask her out sooner than later.

Had my traditional Wednesday night dinner with TheGirl.  Cheyenne really wanted my attention tonight.  She put her paw on my thigh a lot tonight.  I would have given her something to eat, but I had cheese enchiladas for dinner, along with mac and cheese.  No meat.  Poor puppy.  TheGirl and I want to go to Disneyland and have breakfast one Sunday.  But it turns out that her pass is blocked out EVERY Sunday of the year.  She bought the pass thinking that it at least let her visit the park on Sundays.  Wrong!  When she renewed she didn't see that Sundays were blocked out for her.  Now if we want to go to Disneyland we'd have to try to go on a Friday.  Terrible.

Thu Jan 12, Once again I arrive in the morning and the book bins are completely untouched.  I know Jade it busy, but now he knows that sucker me will do all the sorting and then do the route.  It works out for me since I get more hours at work.  So far this month I've worked about four hours more.  While it's not much, it adds up.  At my salary those potential extra eight hours over a month's time represent about $150 more in my pocket.  Mind you, these aren't extra hours.  I'm just making up some of the hours I've lost since September.  I've banked a ton of hours since then.  Hours that I will potentially never make up this fiscal year.  Ideally I'd like to get more hours, but there are only so many hours in a day.  And there are only so many bins.  It is good that instead of losing hours with the changeover to Pasadena packing up the bins I've actually gained hours.  Not sure how long this is going to last.

I had to make a decision about lunch today.  I usually eat in the park, but since the it was pouring rain today I couldn't do that.  I could have gone to Chevy to eat there, but that would take too long.  I decided to heat my meal at Montrose and have a nice relaxing solo lunch in the van parked at the park.  It was nice.  No dummies asking me questions either.

I finished the route and sorted the few bins that there was to sort.  I had zero energy, and even though Jade was saying I should stay until 6pm I could not make it that long.  I was feeling sick, and it was really sapping my energy.  Jade told me I should stay until 6pm even if I was just lying down.  Ah, what?  I am many things, but I'm an honest monkey.  No way I'm going to stick around if I'm not working.  Also, I wasn't feeling well.  I wanted to go home.

Just before going home I went through the construction zone to check on the progress.  Mind you, as you look at the picture above, know that the administration dummies are saying that they expect to start moving in to get ready for the reopening in late March by the end of January.  That was the original schedule.  Finish up by January, and then have all of February and most of March to get all the details done.  Ah... yeah, right.  They'll be lucky if they can finish any of this construction by March.  Also, there are SO many things that have not been done in Circulation.  It looked completely untouched since I went through it LAST MONTH.  I don't know how they think this is going to be finished any time soon.  Also, it feels like there are three people working not the job site.  I'm not there all day long, of course, but I used to see a lot more people around the library.  Whatever.  What do I care?  The bosses can eat it.  They are dopes that keep towing a party line that says all this, the one desk, not closing the library to finish the construction on time, etc., is a good thing.  Like I said, they can eat shit.  Their crimes are many, and I'm here to chronicle these crimes.

The threat has obviously been in the air of a while.  But I think that many fans never thought that the team would actually move to Los Angeles.  I'm not a Charger fan, never will be.  I do feel for the fans that have followed the team for so many years.  The reality is that it's a business, and teams will always go to where the money is more abundant.  Never mind that football left Los Angeles 20 some years ago because both teams couldn't make a go of it.  Let's not forget that.  Well, now Los Angeles has two teams I'm not going to root for.  Whatever the loser Chargers are they have a loyal base of fans in San Diego.  That doesn't mean anything to the owners.  It's never been about that.  It's been about "We're here to entertain you for a few hours on a Sunday so you will give us money."  Simple as that.

Fri Jan 13, I woke up feeling better than I did last night.  My PJ top was soaked though, when I woke up.  Last night, just before going to sleep I felt really warm.  I took my temperature and sure enough I had a fever.  A slight one, but a fever none the less.  I took a couple of ibuprofen and went to bed.  And as I said, I woke up feeling better.  Certainly not 100%, but good enough to get going.

Desiree looked really cute today.  She put a little bit of green color in her hair.  You may or may not see it in the above picture.  I have to say that I really want things to work out with this girl.  But of course I have to get a pair and ask her out to lunch or dinner.  Whatever!  Something!  I need to let her know my intentions.

I was starving, so I went to get something to eat at Tommy's.  But, my sickness was starting to get to me and I didn't finish my meal.  I left a lot of chili fries.  I hate throwing away food.  The drive home was not easy.  When I got home I noticed the gate open, which meant my cousin's kids were still home.  I didn't even say hi to anyone.  I just put my things down and went right to bed.  I passed out for a good two hours before waking up and getting something to eat.  I then talked to my buddy on the phone.  He went to dinner with the Grandview gang tonight.

Sat Jan 14, I died as soon as I got home yesterday.  There was no way after that that I believed I would be able to go anywhere today.  Of course I would regret not being able to go anywhere.  Even sick, I should have gone to "work" today.

My aunt can't ever leave me alone on the days that I stay home from work.  I tried to do this day off thing here, but I know now that I can't ever have a weekend off from pretending to go to work on my Saturdays off.  I know now that I have to find somewhere that I can go where I can spend most of the day.  I used to go to work, and I think I might have to start doing that again.  I went online tonight to buy myself a portable folding chair.  I'm going to need it when I go to work and perhaps sit on the roof.  Or perhaps go somewhere else.  I don't know.  I just know I can't be here.

Mon Jan 16, Despite it being MLK today I still had to go into work.  It's a San Marino tradition to close the library for training on MLK, because the city doesn't recognize that holiday.  Last year the boss forgot to schedule a training session, so we all just came to work.  Oh well.

We started the training and I quickly noticed that Desiree wasn't around.  Just great.  One of the things I wanted to do today was maybe pair up with her on the CPR portion of the training.  But, that was mute since she wasn't there.  Just great.  Oh well, I guess I'll see her on Wednesday.  Damn.  The training went fast.  We had a FAQ section and a staff meeting and a drill.  Then we had the CPR recertification, followed by lunch.

During CPR training I was paired up with T and Lillian.  When I started Lillian was my partner in crime.  She got herself a full time job and left me.  Womp womb.  Today we were partnered up again, as I said.  At one point she leans into me and uses me as a pillow, basically.  She moves herself really close to me and leans on my right leg as I sit crossed legged.  It was nice.  I don't mind a nice girl touching me, that's for sure.  Still, I wondered what it all meant.  Then again, sometimes things don't mean anything.

After lunch we did active shooter training, which was whatever.  Most folks left, but I had things to do still.  I finished those things up and got out of Dodge at nearly 6:30pm.  Long day for me, indeed.

After work I visited TheGirl.  It was good times.  She had just come back from a quick trip down to Mexico with TheHusband.  She seemed to have a good time down there.  But she did mention how she doesn't like being away from her dog for too long.  That's understandable.  She's become super attached to Cheyenne.  I've become very attached to her too.  I now have a stake in what happens to Cheyenne.  I know that I would be devastated if something happened to her.

Tue Jan 17, The route today was whatever.  Nothing too major, thanks to not that many books due to the holiday.  What I do want to mention is the Fed Ex guy that parks in front of me when I go to city hall.  I've parked in so many different placed when I park for city hall.  These days I park on the East side of Glendale blvd in order to be able to find a spot, but also to make it that much easier to go North and hit the freeway.  Whatever.  I now park so that even if he or someone else tries to pin me in I'll have room to maneuver.

Lunch today was whatever.  I had lentil soup, which was good, but the rice I had was cold and the chips I had were horrible.  Never again.  I'll never have those pizza flavored chips.  They tasted like shit pizza.  But then again, what did I expect?

Like I said, the route was whatever, but it still beat me up because of this damn cold I'm fighting.  When I returned from the route I still had sorting to do.  Because of course the lowest on the totem pole has to do the most work.  Anyway, I did what I could before I felt that I could not go on.  I went to my car and took a nap.  Why not just go home?  One, that's how bad I felt.  Two, I had a dinner date with T.  I figured I would rest some of this off and I would feel better by the time it was 6pm and I would have to drive to Echo park.  Thankfully I was right.  I did feel better after my nap.

As I just stated, T asked me to have dinner with her last week.  We had plans on going on Sunday, but she was busy and called for a raincheck.  Today was that raincheck.  I met T down at the restaurant in Echo Park.

I had a ceviche nori burrito.  And I don't have to tell you that I have ZERO idea what nori is.  I looked it up later and it happens to be a type of seaweed wrap thing.  It was pretty good, but it was a lot.  For dessert T ordered a brownie sundae, which was pretty good, but not great.  I didn't like how hard the brownie was, but the gelato was good.  All in all a good time with T.  It's really the first time I've hung out with her since the days of going to Disneyland with her a few years back.  Those were some good times.

Wed Jan 18, I had a lot of work to finish up today for the open house on Saturday.  Of course I never have enough time to finish up.  They really should make me a full time employee here.  I would practically live here if that was the case.  But no.  So, I do what I can with the few hours I get to do it.  It's cool.

My desk shift was busy.  I didn't even get much time to flirt with Desiree.  I mean come on.  I did find a card in my mail box upstairs from TheLamp.  It was a Christmas card from of course last month.  It was very nicely done, and in fact she gave me a gift certificate.  Hmm.  When I came out to relieve her of her desk duty she was still helping a patron.  I tried to jump in, but she was still helping him.  When she got up I turned around, not realizing that her behind was right in my face.  I mean right in my face.  Not going to lie, it was a nice sight to see.  Damn.

She was in a sad mood tonight, because has not heard from two of her contacts at Warner Bros.  She has this idea that she could get a job there and not have to deal with a horrible commute to Santa Monica.  She was not in a good place.  In that environment we went to dinner.  We left puppy at home, because no dogs allowed where we were going.  Poor thing.  I ordered a huge combo plate, knowing I would take most of it home.  I also had two nice strong Cadillac margaritas.  They really hit the spot.

Back to TheGirl and her work situation.  She really wants to get out of where she works and work closer to home.  Don't we all?  She was hoping these people she knows that have contacts at WB would help her out.  But, all but one of them completely flaked on her.  The one that's still in contact with her has some drug issues, so she's not completely reliable either.  Still, I think she has a tiny chance still.  But, she doesn't want to hear it.  She was not in a good place tonight.

Of course after dinner I played with Cheyenne.  Oh boy was she ready to play tonight.  As you can see from the photo she was a tired puppy by the end.  Love that dog.

Thu Jan 19, The route today was pretty standard.  I have finally been able to get my full lunch break these days, after not being able to do so a couple of weeks ago.  As I said, the route itself was pretty standard.  I didn't kill myself to try to get everything done super fast.  I'm still not 100% from this cold, so going all out isn't in my cards.  My buddy has this idea that we should talk to Les about starting again at 8am, but truthfully I like having that extra time to sleep in the morning.  The traffic sucks, but it always sucks.  Yes, it's worse at 8am instead of 7am.  But that sleep is so much sweeter.

I did the route and returned to base.  When I got back Jade had some news for me.

When I was bringing in the bins from the route Jade tells me to come over and read an email that Maleficent had just sent out (pictured above).  She plainly states that she fucked up, and that they have to move the opening of the library back a month.  By the way, a month is generous.  This thing should be moved back to September at this rate.  What's the use of announcing and re-announcing that the library is going to open only to then turn around and say it's not ready yet?  It's a case of crying wolf.  Any layperson with two eyes could have told these administration dopes that this fucking project is no where near complete.  They live in a world where they think that if they will it hard enough it can happen.  But real life doesn't work that way.  If anything it probably works against you.  Well, all I'll say here is that I knew this would happen.  These idiots don't know what they're doing.  And in their incompetence they drag the library down deeper into the abyss.  Fucking idiots.

Jade told me some other news, that MicroManager had shoulder surgery this week.  I don't remember if he told me yesterday or another day, but it was this week.  I went online to check on the recovery time for such a surgery and the sites I saw said that it's usually a rehabilitation time of six months.  She has to immobilize that shoulder for at least four weeks after surgery.  Woo!  This means that earliest she can come back is six months from now.

I went to the Pacific Park branch tonight to get some things from Dane to hold them for him.  He needs to go get his food aid renewed for another year.  He can't take his stuff with him, so I hold it for him overnight.  He has to go downtown.  I have taken him in the past, but since I can't go on Friday, because I'm working, he has to have me keep his stuff overnight.  The place he would have to go to won't let him bring that stuff in, and so it means he can't go.  Anyway, I picked up his stuff and told him I would see him tomorrow after work to give him his stuff back.

Fri Jan 20, Today was going to be a busy day for me, so I wanted to sleep as long as possible.  But, of course for no good reason my cousin's kids show up at fucking 6:40am.  I mean come on!  What the holy fuck are they showing up an hour and twenty minutes before they start school?  This is unacceptable, but of course my aunt and I can't say anything or we look like terrible people.  Oh sorry that I want to get some sleep in the morning.  Sorry that I want to take a shit in the morning without four extra people in the house possibly hearing every fucking noise that comes out of my ass.  I just want peace, but THAT is definitely too much to ask for these days.  Fucking cocksucking shit!  This kind of shit needs to stop.  The kids don't need to be here until twenty minutes before school starts.  Not an hour and twenty!  Fuck everyone!

I wasn't scheduled to work this Friday, but I had so many things to do to get ready for tomorrow's open house that I had to go into work.  I had to get some posters ready, finish up on the graphics for the bookmark winners.  That and a bunch of little things that I can't even remember now.  I didn't finish them all, but I got a lot done.  Tomorrow is the big open house day.

Sat Jan 21, Pseudo supervisor asked me to start work at 8am today.  Yeah, that early.  The doors open at the library at 10am, and that's when we were going to get the open house started.  Of course there was a lot to do before the doors open.

This year's open house was kinda whatever.  We had the usual, signs that promote what's going on in the library this year.  A magician showed up.  There was a story time.  There was a face painter, and a food truck with meh food.  Pretty much the standard now.  I wonder what we will do for next year's open house, which marks the 10th anniversary of the new library, and my anniversary as well.

At one point in the day I ended up by the reference desk with TheLamp.  I made a joke about how she was sleepy, because she yawned.  Sure enough this is when she confirmed that she has a boyfriend by saying the word boyfriend.  Ah huh.  I knew this already, thanks to the boss, but this is the first time she has acknowledged it.  Oh well, now I know.

The last big thing today was the bookmark winners being officially announced.  It was a short and sweet ceremony.  Which is how I like it.  Boom, boom, let's get going.  After that I had something to eat from the food truck.  It was a pretty standard burger, but it did hit the spot since I was starving.  After lunch there was the magician, but then after that it was clean up time.  I stayed a little later than I thought I would and got things done.  All in all, good day.

I had a bit of a headache when I left work, but I really wanted to go check out the Norton Simon for two reasons: Van Gogh and Picasso.  So, I decided that no matter what I was going to the museum tonight before going home after a long day.  I'm glad I did, the Picasso lithographs were cool, and the Van Gogh was awesome.  It's amazing how immersive Van Gogh's work is when you see it in person.  The Bedroom looks like you could walk into the painting.  The pain is thick enough to give it something like a 3D effect.  Just amazing.  I'm glad I went despite having a headache.  It was gone by the time I arrived at the Norton Simon.

Mon Jan 23, OK, it's not 6:40am, like last week, but at 7:08am my cousin's kids showing up for school is still WAY TO FUCKING EARLY.  ARGH!  Why can't my cousin's husband be reasonable and bring them closer to 7:30am?  Oh no.  That can't be done.  Let's fucking show up with the inhabitants of the house are still fucking trying to sleep.  This is so frustrating.  I fucking hate it.

Today it rained nearly the entire day.  My drive to work was rainy, but it wasn't until after I got to work that the rain really came down.  And it continued coming down.  There was a point that it even started to hail. 

Visited TheGirl and puppy after work, as is the Monday tradition.  Cheyenne was super excited and energetic tonight.  It's was crazy how much energy she had tonight.

Tue Jan 24, As I walked up to work I noticed that the banner proclaiming the opening of the library on March 23rd was taken down.  Jade later told me that they took it down on Friday.  A day after they announced that they were moving the opening to late April.  Better they make it late December, at this point.  Fucking idiots.  Some big wigs were in the library today when I arrived.  Jade was telling me that they were having a meeting upstairs.  They are probably wondering why this project is over time and over budget.  I can tell you why.  Because, dummies like Maleficent didn't think ahead beyond her nose.  She didn't think that perhaps it would be better to close up the library than try a work around.  She didn't think to question the construction schedule that was proposed.  She didn't think to not sell us all up the river by adopting this horrible one desk idea.  Her sins are many, but the biggest sin is that of incompetence.

When I got inside the library forty bins were waiting for me.  Not only that, but a special delivery awaited me.  What am I saying, I had two special deliveries today.  One was a pair of tables that had to be delivered from Casa to Chevy.  Why they HAD to be delivered today, I'm not sure.  It's just bullshit.  The other special delivery was a pick-up from Pasadena.  In addition to that I still had to go and sort the bins from yesterday.

First thing on the special delivery agenda was moving the tables from Casa to Chevy.  Two motherfucking stupid tables were to be moved from Casa to Chevy.  For what reason I don't know why.  It's not like Chevy doesn't have any tables.  Years ago I took up more than a dozen fancy folding tables, that are STILL UP THERE.  Why these two tables had to be moved today I don't know.  It's just cocksucking shit work that they make me do when I have my hands full with actual work.  That part of the delivery took nearly an hour to complete.  Then it was to Pasadena to get a book kit for the author event on Thursday.  I don't mind this, but on top of the stupid table moving I really just wanted to choke someone today.  There was no reason why the two tables couldn't be moved next week.  Shit!

Once I finally got on the route I moved on a quickened pace, but I also didn't kill myself.  It was quick and steady, but not so fast as to tire myself out. Nor to work too hard, since I had to conserve my energy.  I had a late lunch, but there was no way I wasn't going to take my time to have my lunch.  Fuck that shit.  Last week it was raining, but today it was near perfect weather for lunch in the park.  The only fucked up thing that happened is that half my lunch fell on the ground.  I opened the van passenger door to get my lunch dishes, which I take out at Montrose to warm, and the glass container I had some rice in comes flying out of the van and breaks on the floor.  Oh well, there goes that part of my lunch.  I rethought of wanting to buy a nice plastic bento box to carry my lunch in from now on.

When I returned from the route to Central I took a few minutes before doing a little sorting to check out the construction.  Boy, if the dummies upstairs believe this building is anywhere near complete they are smoking some good shit.  Just look at the pictures above and tell me they are closer to opening.  The upper left corner is the bathroom.  They've hardly touched it.  The upper right is circulation.  Again, not touched.  Lower left is the remembrance room, which thankfully doesn't have a leak.  Lower right hand is the hallway by the elevator.  Oh man, it's hard to see in the picture but suffice to say that it shows how shoddy the work here really is.  It looks like the entire thing was a afterthought.  I really hope they commit to April and then have to tell everyone that oops, they were wrong.  I hope their heads roll.

Wed Jan 25, Work today was kinda chill.  Pseudo supervisor asked me to work on the Foundation website and fix it up.  I started looking at different websites for ideas on how to mock it up, to make it look nice.  Not that anyone really visits the damn website.  I'm pretty sure that five people a year visit that site.  But, what do I care?  Right now there are no major projects to work on.  The big fundraiser is months away.

We went to one of our regular spots for dinner tonight.  We talked about the upcoming trip.  TheGirl said she would drive up, since we're going with her dog.  Fine by me.  That means more drinking time for me.  Woo!  We're going to end up going to Santa Cruz, which should be interesting.  I do wish we could have one more full day, instead of just having one full day.  Sucks.  But, TheGirl can't take too many off days from work.  Also, staying an extra day means money.  Money that neither of us have.  Still, dinner was nice.  I had a gimlet (pictured above).  It really hit the spot.  They didn't skimp on the booze, this time.

Thu Jan 26, The route today was pretty standard.  That is until 3:30pm.  But more on that in a minute.  For the most part the route went well and fast.  There weren't too many bins from yesterday to sort, and I finished up pretty quickly.  I had enough time that I ate in the park and chilled.  And I was able to take my Brand break as well.  Little did I suspect what was awaiting me at the end of the route.

Just as I was putting in the last of the bins from my last branch stop Jade calls me up to tell me we have to make a special delivery tonight.  Some dummy wants us to move ten tables from the civic auditorium and six tables from the Montrose branch and take them to Chevy.  I just about hit the ceiling.  I like how the dummies can't get their act together before 3pm.  I want to choke out the dummies who didn't think to tell me this before, like this morning.  Oh no.  Everything at the last minute.  Well, to make a long story short, Jade and I went and got the tables from the two locations and made it back from Chevy just in the nick of time to end the shift at 6pm.  It was not easy, and I really resent that these idiots always do this to us drivers.  They take liberties, I told my buddy the other day.  They really do, and I hope they rot.

I stopped by the market tonight before getting home to pick up some things.  I'm glad I did, because there was hardly anything to eat in the house.  My cousin's husband bought a salad at a fast food joint, and he gave it to us to eat.  I heated up some chili and some garlic bread and voila... a dinner fit for a bastard.

Today is my ninth anniversary of starting work at San Marino.  That's a long time.  Never would I think that I would still be working there nearly a decade later.  Good times.

Fri Jan 27, Went to work today and it was pretty darn quiet on the reference desk for me.  Not for the circulation desk, which had a continuous march of people wanting to get passports.  I mean it was non-stop.

I was on the circulation desk for a moment helping someone out with a passport question.  As I stood there talking to the patron Desiree comes up behind me and tickles my right side, right above my waist is what might be called the love handles.  Yes, this is DEFINITELY a sign of something.  I can't deny it now.  I REALLY want to ask her out on a date.  But do people even "date" any more?  I think that I might have to pass her a note to ask her out.  It's so the coward's way out, but if I don't do this I'll end up never asking her out.

Sat Jan 28, I woke up not feeling well.  However, I didn't want to stay home, because in the past my aunt gets on my nerves.  I don't know why she can't understand that I don't want to be bothered on my day off.  I just want to rest and decompress.  But, she doesn't allow that relaxation.  It really sucks that I can't stay home on my day off.  Fucking shit!  I'm tired of having to pretend to go to work on my days off.  Ideally I'd like to stay home.  The next best thing is a room of my own somewhere.  I think that's why I go to work in San Marino so often when I can't stay home.  I should have gone there today, but at the same time I just didn't want to drive all the way out there.

My aunt asked me to get some stuff from the 99 cent store.  Stupid me forgot to go yesterday, so I had to do it today.  I also needed to kill most of the day.  I decided to go to the 99 cent store in Woodland Hills.  This way I could spend more time driving.  My aunt left me a list of things she wanted, but of course this 99 cent store didn't have everything from the list.  I figured that I would go to another store to buy these left over items.  I then went to a store in Reseda.  That one, thankfully, did have the items that I couldn't find at the other 99 cent store.  I was deep into the Valley today.  It was a bit of a trip through memory lane.

I was thinking of Mick's a couple of weeks ago, so when I got a chance go to today I jumped at the chance.  I had a cold cut combo, which really hit the spot.  I only ate half of it, but I finished off the fries.  I do miss going there.  I used to go there all the time with my Grandmother.  That feels like so long ago now.

After running my errands and eating a little I figured I couldn't just go back home.  So, I decided to head to the library.  This time the Encino-Tarzana branch.  It's a nice branch (pictured above).  I do wish I didn't have to escape my house in order not to be nagged.  I want to go on some weekend adventures, but today I was just feeling tired.  I SO wanted to stay home, but I ended up at the library.  When I got home I noticed that my aunt had left two hours before I arrived.  If I had known this I could have gone home earlier.  The reason I didn't know is because there wasn't cell service inside the library.  At least for me.  Oh well.

I was watching the Benny Hill show tonight.  I remember watching it as a kid.  Back then I lusted after so many of the Hill's Angels.  On tonight's episodes there was a girl who wasn't a Hill's Angel, but rather a singer... Diana Darvey.  I did an online search and found out she's been dead since 2000.  That's kinda nuts to think that.

Sun Jan 29, I drank so much last night.  I wanted to get a nice little buzz on, but I over did it.  These days I have a high tolerance for alcohol.  Because of that I had to drink a little more to get a buzz going.  I over did it though.  I wanted that buzz and I wasn't feeling it, so I poured another shot and then another.  Then it all hit me at once.  Not good.  Thankfully my hangover this morning wasn't horrible.  I felt a little nauseous, but nothing too bad.  Still, I should know better by now.

Tue Jan 31, The route today was quite strange.  First off, Jade insisted that I apply for a job at BH for a literacy coordinator.  I did, because why not?  Then he insisted that we go get a breakfast burrito at Lucky Boy in Pasadena when we dropped of the book kit at the bookstore.  I went along with it, because why not?

Sure enough, we got to Lucky Boy and Jade ordered up a pair of breakfast burritos.  The fucking thing was huge.  I basically didn't eat the rest of the day.  I had a little bit of my sandwich that I packed for lunch, but I didn't eat anything else today but that burrito.  Well, I did have some soup this morning.  But that's pretty much it.  The burrito hit the spot.  The rest of the route after delivering another pair of stupid tables to Chevy was pretty standard.

I did have a moment with TheDesire today.  I haven't really spoken to her since October.  She asked me a question regarding something she posted on FB about some sort of book give-away.  She was confused on how it worked.  It wasn't a simple solution, but I did give her a way to do this book exchange.  Whatever!  What I can say that is that the spell is broken.  It was nice to talk to TheDesire, but those old butterflies that used to be inside me weren't there today when I was interacting with her.  She's a beautiful girl, and at one point I would have given my left nut to be with her.  Today, she's still a beautiful girl, but I'm not pining away for her at all.  I'm glad.

The route today was weird because for the second time in a row Jade was on the route for a good chunk of the morning.  I like how he's able to just skirt this duties at Central to drive around with me and get breakfast burritos and go to the book store, and then help me with two tables.  The last two I didn't really need his help with.  Hell, even the breakfast burritos was something I could do on my own.  I hope this doesn't become some habit with Jade.  I need my alone time on the route.

I talked to my buddy tonight after not talking to him since last week.  He had some information about the tables going up to Chevy.  He said that this dummy in administration had scheduled some sort of wine and paint event up there, and wanted to make sure there were enough tables.  Ah, Chevy has so many tables that there isn't even enough room to put them all out.  Let along the twenty total extra tables I had to take up last week and this.  I mean come on, dummies.  I fucking know not more than ten people are going to show up to this fool event.  But of course I'll then have to bring back all the tables.  Fucking bullshit!  Then there's the matter of Maleficent cutting budgets.  New guy mentioned how he's going to work less hours at the branches because Maleficent cut their "extra help" budgets.  I'm sure that those few pennies are going to go towards the renovation.  I like how Maleficent doesn't think to give back her raise from last year, which is a significant amount more than that line item for "extra help."  Fucking bullshit!  This is the level of assholery that they have reached.  They can rot, for all I care.  This is a travesty, but this seems to be the age of travesties.

I wasn't thinking of that BH job until now, but now I hope I get to at least see if it's something I want to pursue.  I have to escape this job already.  It's not going to sustain me for long.  And it has some of the worst people I have met in my life.  I'm so very tired of all this shit.

Today is the 12th anniversary of my Grandmother's death.  I honestly don't know how that much time has past.  I was definitely a different person back then.  More naive, perhaps.  Certainly didn't drink the way I do these days.  I know I'm more cynical these days.  I do miss my Grandmother and my Mother.  This year will mark twenty years since my Mother's death.  I don't know where the time has gone.  I keep reminding myself that there are probably fewer days ahead than behind me.  And I've made certain choices in my life that pretty much mean I'm not going to have any children.  So that means this life is my life.  No one else's.  I don't have the obligation of taking care of someone else now.  Life just didn't work out for me in that way.  I should take advantage of that and really live.  If only I didn't have these debts that cripple me from doing great things.  I make a nice living, but most of that goes to paying for things I did in the past.  Not even good things.  Most of my debt now comes from dental bills and having to fix the pipes on the house... TWICE!  If only I could have spent that money on a trip to Europe or something.  Not that I don't need my pipes to work, or teeth to eat, but if not for at least the pipe issue I wouldn't be in so much debt.  Oh well.  How did this become a talk about debt?

Went to the Huntington where there was a display of old light bulbs.  Pretty cool.

I went to the Huntington library with a friend.  This is a picture of her colorful purse.

I hung out with a friend a few weeks ago.  On my way back to where I was going to drop him off I decided to take Mulholland Dr. for a more scenic way home.  At the end I stopped off at the overlook and enjoyed the view with my friend.  This city is vast, and it can be harsh.  But it can also be very beautiful.

After missing going to Disneyland several times in December, I finally got to see the Holiday overlay at the park the first weekend in January.  I did miss Disneyland.