Any month in which I get to go up north has got to be a good month.  Well, it was.  Now time to read about it.

Tue Nov 1, There isn't much to report in terms of things happening today.  It was a standard day in terms of work.  Casa had a lot of bins, and so did Montrose, but after that it was all chill.  As you can see from the picture above the construction continues.  I told my buddy that most of the full timers that don't go into Central now will be surprised at all the changes.  I don't know if they're doing good work, but they are making progress.  Supposedly by next week they want to start moving the administration people into the new offices.  Pretty crazy.

I made good time in the route today.  Mostly because I don't talk to anyone any more.  I don't feel I need to engage with these idiots.  As my buddy says, I'm engaging "submarine mode."  Yeah man, I'm diving deep.  I want to become like a shadow.  I want people to one day say, "I haven't seen you in a long time."  I want them to question if I'm still working there.  I want them to never see me again.  I've had it with these idiots.  Really I have.  They don't deserve my time or friendship or anything beyond an honest day's work.

I was talking to Vagabundo tonight after he got off work at San Marino.  He told me a story that he said he couldn't believe he hadn't mentioned before.  He told me that he overheard Les say that I threw a "fit" about the parking situation.  Here is an part of the email from back in August.  "This past Thursday I once again had to park the van in front of the library, because the reserved parking spot in the parking garage was taken.  This marks I don't know how many times that I've had to park the van out front.  I can't speak for my fellow drivers, but this is very frustrating...."

I wrapped it up by saying, "I haven't mentioned this before, but it came to a head on Thursday.  Mainly because the same vehicle has been parked in the van's parking spot in the garage for DAYS.  As a matter of fact, when I went to work on Saturday it was still there.  Parked in what I came to believe was the van's spot."

Well, apparently THAT is me throwing a "fit" about the parking situation.  You know what?  They can all go fuck themselves.  From now on I fix my own problems.  From now on I keep a journal of these things and record it for future reference.  I'm done dealing with Les.  He's a joke.  A very bad joke.  They will pay for this.

Wed Nov 2, Not much to report, the grind has started after the flurry of the big fundraiser.  Things are not slowing down, I'm just grinding it out.  I told Pseudo supervisor about Les being overheard saying I threw a fit about the parking situation back in August.  She mentioned how something like that could be termed a "negative work environment."  And yes, I thought of that, but I never put it in those words in my mind or otherwise.  I think I need to start keeping a journal of these events so that if some day they want to say they didn't know that I'll be able to prove to someone higher up that yes they did know and when.  I said I was going into full submarine mode, well I now know I have to dive VERY deep now.  So deep they won't ever hear my voice again.

I found out from pseudo supervisor, and later H herself, that H has a new job. I texted her about something else and she did mention that she got herself another job.  She did tell me that she's going to keep both jobs.  I thought I heard pseudo supervisor say that it was a full time job, but it seems like that's a mistake.  Or, H is going to double dip.  Either way, I'm super happy for her.  She is marginalized so much at San Marino, and I think it's because she's young.  Young doesn't mean she can't be mature.  And it doesn't mean she can't do that job.  To this day she still does the job better than anyone I've known.

As we were going to dinner TheGirl was telling me that she's in a financial pinch.  She used to be able to get overtime by clocking in earlier in the day.  But the company changed hands and now she can't do that.  That little extra money was helping her out with some bills.  I feel bad, because here we are going to dinner and it's her week to treat and she's telling me how she is having a hard time financially.  I know the feeling, of course.  She also spoke up about how she gave her son and new daughter-in-law $13,000 for their wedding and he barely contacts her.  He invited his sister, but not TheGirl, to dinner the other night.  Obviously she isn't happy about this.  Because, why would anyone be happy about such a thing?  I almost want to go into his forestation and tell him to not be such a jerk to his mother.  I suspect that it's the new wife that prevents him from contacting her so often.  Or, perhaps he still feels anger at her for cheating on TheHusband and breaking up their family.  It could be those things or others, but those are my top two reasons why he's being a jerk to TheGirl.  Being busy these days is not a good excuse.  Yes, we are all more busy, but we all have a few moments throughout the day to send a quick little text.  It's easier than ever.  I might have to tell TheGirl that we should do cheaper options on her dinner days.

On our way back to the car TheGirl wanted to walk her dog a little, so we went up the street.  When we got to Bob's Big Boy there was a film crew there (pictured above).  Obviously I have no idea what they're filming, but it was cool to see them filming something.  I'm sure I can find out somehow.

Thu Nov 3, I ran into a coworker of mine while going up the elevator and she invite me to check out the new administration offices upstairs.  I was asked on Tuesday by Les if I could help move stuff from the old offices to the new ones.  I can't work the days he asked me, so oh well.  But I got a nice little tour of the offices.  I saw them a few weeks ago and they are now complete.  As for the aesthetics... well, all I can say is that the offices are bland (as you can see in the photo above).  It's certainly not my job to saw how they should have made the offices, but this "style," if you can call it that, is just as bland and antiseptic as can be.  It is fitting in that way, because the administration of this library is like a blank slate, devoid of any thoughts.

I was telling my buddy how I'm following his lead and going into "submarine mode" at work.  And today, I dove deep into the abyss and stayed in submarine mode the entire shift.  I barely said anything to anyone today.  I talked to Get page, and that's pretty much it.  At my first two stops I didn't say hi to any one, though I did wave at Syco who said hi to me.  At Casa I waved at another coworker that acknowledged me.  TheDesire was on the reference desk and didn't say a word.  The rest of the stop were like that, except Adams because Gen page was there.  I was in and out of most places within two minutes.  At Grandview Snow was there, so I finally saw her after more than a month.  She said to me, "Hi stranger."  I said hi and did my thing and got out of Dodge fast.  I finished finished up way early.  Even with my one hour break at Brand I still had time to spare.  I must say that the best thing about submarine mode is having this extra time on the route to chill.

As I posted last time TheGirl and I saw some filming being done at Bob's Big Boy in Toluca Lake last night.  Today I saw a post by Bob's online kinda showing what was being filmed last night.  I checked online and it looks like it's going to be a movie for Netflix.  Guess I'll have to watch it to see all the Bob's action.

I went up to Taylor's to get my hoodie, the one I forgot on Sunday at dinner.  I made good time getting home, despite taking the detour.  When I got home I once AGAIN found my computer in a different place than I left it.  Whenever I go to work and I leave my computer on my desk my aunt will move it (as seen above).  She thinks that if some burglar breaks through the window that the four inches she moved the computer will prevent it from being stolen, because it will be out of reach.  Ah, no.  She needs to just stop, but of course I said something to her a long time ago and she never listened.  These days I just unplug the external drive from the computer so she won't fuck that up.  I think I might just start putting my computer somewhere else.  I don't know anymore.  My aunt has crazy ideas that I can't seem to shake out of her head.  What I do is just go with the flow and adjust my actions to match her craziness.

Fri Nov 4, Work was pretty chill today.  The above photo is of a posting of an IG account that I follow.  In the past I would take a screen cap and send it to TheDesire.  But those days are over now.  Very much in the past.  I think I've been pretty good at making no extraordinary effort to contact her.  I almost considered maybe sending this one to TheDesire, but no.  I must not do that.  I will not do that.  That train has definitely left the station, even though she still "likes" some of my photos that I post.  Fuck that shit.  I'm sure she doesn't even realize that I don't text her these posts any more.  I'm not on her radar.  I never was on her radar.

I'm bad at reading obviously signs.  Correction, I will often ignore the signs and say to myself that they couldn't be the affirmative.  Mainly because I don't have that kind of self confidence.  Case in point my coworker above.  She and I flirt.  Any objective viewer would say that we flirt.  We touch, we play around.  She smiles at me.  I make jokes around her and touch her.  It's a thing.  So why haven't I made a move?  Because I'm a big chicken.  I've always been a big chicken.  I SHOULD just ask her out to lunch and see if she wants to go in that direction.  It would be that she's just a flirt, and that she isn't interested in me.  But what if the opposite is true?  I have to stop being a dope and make a move.  I am desirous of her.

I've been working on this passport poster for WEEKS now.  Today I finally said that this was the last day we would work on it.  Not only because I don't want to deal with it any more, but because soon H is going to be working more hours at her new job.  If it wasn't done today, there would be no way that it would get done, in other words.  So yes, we finalized the wording and I printed it up, and laminated it.  Woo!  Done!

I came home and wrote some of this entry, and then played a video game my buddy checked out for me from the library.  Well, it looked like fun, but then it quickly became frustrating when I couldn't save my fucking progress.  I gave up on it and just said fuck it.  I may play it some more, but after wasting an hour on it and now having to possibly retrace my steps I think I'm through with it.  ARGH!

Sat Nov 5, I kinda don't like it when I have plans in the early evening, because it means having to kill time away from home before going to my plans.  I had hoped that my aunt would visit my Godmother today, and she would go out today.  But no luck, she's going tomorrow.  Which means I had to pretend, again, to be getting ready for work.  My aunt fixed me breakfast, and then I left for San Marino.  But, I didn't make it that far.  The way the timing worked going to San Marino would mean going there and only being there for an hour.  What's the use in that, I thought.  So, I went to Griffith park by the merry-go-round and chilled under the trees.

It was a nice day to be out in the park, for sure.  I spent over an hour chilling on the grass.  I half thought that I should just shine on my visit to Talia.  But, stupid me thought that was a mean thing to do since I told her I was going over to her place.

I want to start this part of the entry by asking myself, "When will I ever learn?"  The last time I visited Talia we had sex.  You might call it a desperation move, because no other woman was sleeping with me.  And yes, it was out of horny desperation that I went over to her place a couple of months ago.  As I wrote in this journal I didn't have a good time, and I didn't even cum from having sex with her.  It was over in five minutes and I had to jerk myself off as she slept next to me.  It was horrible.  So why the FUCK did I agree to go over there again today?  Because I'm a masochist, I suppose.  Because as much as it was unsatisfying to have sex with Talia, there was an element that was good... entering and being inside a woman.  So it was that idea that I went over to Talia's today.  But of course the whole fucking thing went south.  She was even fatter than last time.  Now I'm not one to talk, I have a big belly.  But it seems like all she's been doing since I last saw her is eating.  She admitted it herself.  As you can see from the photo above it's not a pretty sight.  When I saw her the idea of sex completely left my mind.  There was a point where she started talking to a friend on her phone and I just waited for the minutes to pass as I sobered up to leave.  I needed to sober up.  She handed me her phone at one point to have me pair it to a speaker she has so I could listen to her music.  I was curious about her text messages and found the one above.  An exchange where she tells the guy that she wants to blow him.  Not that this was the deal breaker, but in a sense it was.  Look, she can live her life however she wants to.  I'm not one to judge her.  Also, I can't judge since I'm basically coming over to fuck.  I'm not taking her out to dinner, I'm not benefiting her in any way.  If anything, who am I to think I can just come over every other month and sleep with her?  She obviously doesn't want that.  And I'm OK with that.  What I have to do is now burn this bridge.  I'm tired of being an idiot and spending time with Talia.  It's not good for either of us, and selfishly I know that sex with her is not a pleasurable event.  Have a good life, Talia.

There was a moment when I looked at my watch and it said 6:16pm.  I had placed my curfew at 6:30pm.  But since I was sober and I had nothing more to say to Talia I gathered my things and in one move just left.  She was on the phone and she asked, "Are you leaving?"  I nodded and kept going.  I didn't stop until I reached the car and connected the phone.  I started the car and just left, never to return.  I made my way to Universal city to meet up with Vagabundo and Squire.  It's been a while since we've seen Squire, and it was good to talk to him about the bullshit that's been going on in the library.  I'll skip the details and just say that the food was really good.  Good enough to return sometime in the future.  Maybe bring TheGirl for dinner one night.  A good time was had, for sure.  Squire is doing well.  He's working at Big Five, after having worked at a car rental place earlier this year.  It's a good thing.  I like the kid, and I wish the best for him as he returns to school to get his masters.  I wonder if I should go back and get my masters.  If only I could make the time for it, and find the money.  If I'm going to spend that kind of money I need to throw that money at my mortgage, not school.

Mon Nov 7, I've complained about my cousin's kids showing up to the house early, but today was the most horrible pinnacle of bullshit.  My cousin's husband and the kids came to the house at 6:53pm!  Motherfucker!  I usually don't even get out of bed until a little past 7am.  Today I hear the car outside and I just cringe.  Why the FUCK do does this group of people have to come so motherfucking early?  They don't even walk to school until 7:45am!  ARGH!  I think I'm keeping my room door closed from now on.  I was debating whether to leave my door wide open or close it with it just slightly open.  I'm glad I kept it slightly open and not wide open.  ARGH!  This is SO not right.  The excuse my aunt and I were given was that my cousin had to leave for work early.  Yeah, and why does that mean that the girls have to be out the door that much earlier than normal?  Fucking hate this shit.  I really do.

Talia started texting me today.  I answered her with one word replies.  I only answered two of her texts.  I think eventually she will get the hint.  It's not an overnight thing.  This project will take some time for her to FINALLY get the hint.  For now, I'll continue to answer just a couple of her texts until perhaps by next week I'll only answer one of her texts and then by three weeks I won't answer any texts and hopefully by then she won't be sending me texts at all.  I thought about blocking her, but thought better of that.  In her text today she mentioned how a music executive from Sony was going to sign her next month to a music contract.  All I can say is, I'm shaking my head.

I went over to TheGirl's after work and she was not happy with her son.  She had some wine, so her lips were loose and she wanted to vent.  She told me how her son has not contacted her since the wedding.  That's pretty fucked up.  Oh wait, but then she said he did contact her via text to ask for some money while he and his new wife were up in Sonoma.  He asked to "borrow" $3,000.  She said tonight that she never expects to see that money ever again.  How messed up.  I drop off books right next to the fire station where he works.  If I could I would go over there and ask him why he's ignoring TheGirl.  But, it's not my place.  He must have his reasons (*cough* his wife).  I feel bad for TheGirl.

How is it possible that it's been 25 years since that sad day?  I remember at the time thinking what I think every Laker fan was thinking... that Magic had been handed a death sentence.  I will admit, I cried that day.  I remember thinking to myself that we were going to watch Magic wither away and die.  That my sport's hero was going to succumb to this horrible fate.  But as he has done all his life Magic put his whole being into beating this.  And today he is alive.  Not just alive, but thriving.  And THAT, is his greatest accomplishment.  He has always been a winner.  I remember someone telling me that if anyone could beat this Magic could.  I had seen him do it on the court so many times, but I thought, "This is different."  "This is AIDS."  But once again Magic has proven that there is always hope.  There is always a way to win.  Thank you Magic.

Tue Nov 8, The route today was pretty standard.  Not much to report there.  Just wanted to mention this IG post that I would normally screen cap and sent to TheDesire (above).  I've made no effort to text her in the last three weeks.  As I said before, what would be the use?  She's lovely, I find her to be so wonderful.  But yeah, I can't wait for her.  And I can't keep making myself hang on.

I drove home tonight just wanting to rest for the rest of the night.  Like I said, the route wasn't so tough, but I was tired.  Waking up earlier is no fun.  I got home and my aunt asked me what I wanted to eat almost the second I got home.  I told her to give me a couple of minutes.  Yes, I was starving, but I also wanted to get my shoes off and take my things and put them down.  After that I fixed myself something to eat and vegged out.  Ahhh.  Good times.  I had the TV on while I went and lay in bed.  It was good times.  On TV was of course the incoming results of the Presidential race.  As it got closer to 7pm the results were looking bad for Hilary.  As the night went on they only got worse.  I actually did vote for her, which means that I have YET to vote for a winning candidate in any Presidential election.  I was fascinated by the scenes at Hilary's campaign headquarters where they were all set for a celebration.  But, instead there were somber faces all around.  It was quite fascinating because the faces everyone was making were like the faces of people at a funeral.  And in a sense it WAS a funeral.  I think the Hilary camp really thought they had this thing in the bag.  I do remember an article in the NY Times that had some bookmaker say that the odds were in her favor.  Well, this is why bookmaking more like an art than a true science.  The nightmare scenario where she loses the states where she "can't lose," turned into a reality where she lost those states.  I told people weeks ago after reading that article that people thought this election was a done deal, but that it wasn't.  I had a bad feeling about this, and sure enough it played out tonight.

At the end of the night people just couldn't vote for Hilary and her shortcomings.  I do believe she's uniquely qualified for the job.  However, even though I don't think she does bad things her actions LOOK bad.  And she couldn't overcome that in an era where perception is reality.  I could say more, but at the end of the day there is still hope.  I hope this Trump guy does right by all of us.  I hope that the office centers him.  That the weight of the responsibility tempers him.  I hope for all our sakes that he does a good job.

Wed Nov 9, Last night a lot of my friends on FB were posting things about doom and gloom.  Hey, we survived Bush, we can survive this.  Also, instead of bitching about it these people should do something about it.  But no, they'll just bitch about it on FB.  Of course now I'm here bitching about them bitching about it on FB.  Ha!  Whatever!

Work was work today.  Once again the middle of the grind, so there isn't much to talk about.  Oh, actually, I did want to ask that girl from work out to get some food.  But of course chicken me chickened out.  She has been flirting quite a bit with me.  She bumps into me, touches me, and I do the same.  I really need to fucking grow a pair and ask her out to lunch or something and see where that leads us.  What I really need some liquid courage, but not at work.  Imagine?  Shit no.  I like this girl.  I think we might have a nice time together.  I'm hoping to not be a total chicken next week when we work together again.

Dinner tonight was calm.  We went to Bob's, where the waiter wasn't too happy having to wait on us while we sat outside.  He seemed like he was busy, but still.  He didn't give us great service.  Good thing the food hit the spot.  I so wanted a burger or an open face turkey sandwich.  I didn't order the burger, obviously.  I don't know what hit me, the booze that I drank before going to dinner, or the dinner itself, or both, but I was super tired.  By the time we left I felt like I was going to sleep.  I drove home and went to bed super early.  Before 10pm!  During dinner TheGirl didn't mention much about her son tonight.  She did say she's going on a overnight trip tomorrow.  She's going down to Mexico with TheHusband.  This, despite the fact that she ONCE again mentioned that she doesn't like him... doesn't like hanging out with him, because he ALWAYS brings up her infidelity.  Of course she's going to say just leave it be.  He's not one to forgive at all, it would seem.  That was SIX years ago!

Thu Nov 10, I went into the new administration offices to validate my parking ticket and then get the interdepartmental mail.  When I walked to the back to get the mail in the new copy room I noticed that this one woman named Sharon's office had the blinds down.  This woman is such a horror.  She NEVER says hi to anyone.  But, she did talk new driver's ear off when I introduced her to him.  So not right.  Her list of social contract faux pas is way too long to list here.  But know that this woman isn't right, and really represents all that's wrong with these people that I work with.  All these dopes will see a reckoning soon.  There will be a day where the "hand of god" will come and make them pay for gutting what this library used to be.  Not that it could ever be held up to be the grand standard of libraries, but at least it was a library.  Not some fucked up room with a lot of books and no people.  Because as I said to my buddy the other night, their actions, including changing the term from patron to customer, actually dehumanizes the patron.  They are but a piece of meta data that they count on some spread sheet.  These aren't people to them, they're statistics.  "How man books have been checked out?"  None of them knows what it means to help a patron find some book they really wanted, or that they didn't know they wanted.  They will never know what it's like to go that extra mile to help someone get what they wanted and leave happy.  No.  A computerized system might mean faster checkouts, and not having to deal with salaries.  But it takes the heart of the library and throws it out the window in favor of automation.  If they ever actually knew what a library was then these moves are even more of a betrayal of the ideals of libraries everywhere.  They aren't just free bookstores.  And if these dummies don't get that then I wonder how they ever rose to the station where they are making decisions of what should be done in a library.  Because they are the LEAST qualified to make those decisions.

Here is yet more fucking bullshit... the so-called "makers space."  Which is an abject reputation of what a library is at its core.  What is also bad is that hey don't have ANY fucking clue as to what to put in this fucking empty space that is as empty as their heads.  The Unholy Trinity has been "working" on this for over a year and they have YET to finalize what is going into the space.  I think it's a dereliction of their core duties to even consider having this makers space project.  This thing DOES NOT ENHANCE the library at all.  All it does it spit on the very idea that a library is about information.  This is a tinker toy box that disguises itself as something useful.  This space will sit idle after an initial surge.  To me it's a slap in the face to the taxpayers who will ultimately pay the bill for a room that will go unused.  It is a total abomination.

OK, route talk now.  On Tuesday I was stuck in traffic trying to get out of the freeway for twenty minutes.  It pushed everything back on my schedule.  It was bullshit.  Today I made sure to check out the CalTrans website to see if the ramp that I use was closed.  Sure enough, it was.  Thanks to that forethought I was able to jump off the freeway before the traffic jam and get on with the route on a more regular schedule.  Woo!  I win!

When I got back from Pasadena Les had a surprise for me... a dozen little special deliveries.  ARGH!  I do need to money, but a dozen extra stops sucks big time.  I didn't even get to take my long break during the day.  But, I got most of it done.  I missed the last stop, because it was too late and the school's office would be closed.  I'll drop it off on Tuesday of next week.

When I stopped off at Grandview Snow and Shay were in the back room as I was leaving asking me if I still had a Disneyland annual pass.  I should have brought up the whole Little Page night thing, since new guy mentioned it to me this morning.  But you know what?  I just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible.  I had to since I still had five more stops on this stupid special delivery.  Still, what the fuck?  Why do they want to know?  They can just eat shit.  I'm not going to be available for any of their possible invitations.  Burning that bridge down for sure.

On my way to one of my special delivery spots my friend Michelle Cayada texts me to ask if my aunt is legal (you know, legally in the country).  I found that to be a little insulting, but I did laugh about it.  I returned her text with what I thought was a funny text saying something about how not all Mexicans that live here are wetbacks.  She then sends me a text saying, "Did I say wetback?  Drop the attitude, it was just a question."  As I thought about it more I did become a little insulted by the insinuation that my aunt would be an illegal.  She's been in this country for longer that Michelle Cayada has even been alive.  Longer than I have.  She's a citizen, and has been for a long time.  My Mother and Grandmother both became citizens and loved this country so much.  As I thought about her question more I didn't like it.  I finally just told her to drop the subject.  I'm not easily insulted, but this did it.  This makes me never want to talk to Michelle Cayada again.  Any way you slice her question it comes off bad in my mind.  Guess that's another bridge that needs burning.  Good-bye, Michelle Cayada.  It was nice knowing you.

On my second to last branch stop the manager there asked me if I knew why there were less books going out on delivery.  She told me that it was because everything in the collection is now floating.  She said it with a big smile.  Fucking bullshit!  I'm done with this charade.  Their actions are beyond stupid.  I hope they all burn.  This branch gave me three bins full of donated books.  I didn't take them to the next branch, I took them back to central and deposited them in the recycling bin.  Fuck this shit!

I finished up an hour after I usually do, and as I said before I will still have to make one more stop on Tuesday of next week.  It took me just under an hour to get home.  Fifteen miles and it took me an hour to get home tonight.  That's some bullshit.

Fri Nov 11, Ahhh... finally a day off where I can sleep in and not have to pretend to go to work in order to avoid my aunt.  When I did get up I had a list of things I had to get done today.  Number one on the list was something to do with my home phone.  Funny, I didn't put down postponing my jury duty again, but I did get that done as well.  I wanted to call my dealer for a service.  Didn't do that.  I also have some other things that I'm going to do after I finish this journal entry.  But, for the most part I just wanted to chill today.  I didn't want to get out of my PJs.  But, my aunt had different ideas.

My aunt wanted me to take her to the Home Depot for a garden hose and to the market for some groceries.  While at the grocery store there were a lot of pretty girls walking around in tights.  I must say, I do like this trend of women wearing legs/tights out instead of say jeans.  Thank the maker for tights.  Woo!

My aunt suggested we get some dinner at the IHOP by our house.  I said OK since I figured I could order a burger there.  Well, it was a pretty terrible burger.  Also, it took forever for us to get our food.  I took a picture when they sat us and one when they brought the food and the time stamps show that it was OVER a half hour that we waited for our food.  That's just too much.  Especially when my burger was just blah.  I think my aunt's fish dish was OK, she didn't complain about it.  My burger was overcooked and they forgot that I asked for avocado.  I didn't mention it to the waiter since I was so damn hungry at that point.

Sat Nov 12, Today I was supposed to take photos of Krishna, her husband and her new born son.  But, when I texted her this morning after I showered she told me that we would have to postpone the photo shoot.  Fine by me.  Of course with my schedule this won't happen until the middle of December.  I'm good with that.

Because of there being no photo shoot I had to find something to do.  And by that I mean something that would give me an excuse to not be home.  I figured I would run some errands and also get some things done that I wanted to do yesterday, but couldn't since I was doing things with my aunt.

One errand I ran was making an appointment to have my car's oil changed and to also deal with a air bag recall.  I ended up having to make two appointments, one for each issue.  While I was there I noticed two guys that were dressed completely alike.  I mean look at them above.  They're wearing the exact color t-shirt and dark jeans that are nearly identical, and the SAME pair of shoes.  They both even have baseball caps, though one is clearly wearing a Dodger's cap.  Talk about conformity.

I took a place mat that's over twenty years old into work today to scan it.  I've been wanting to scan this thing for months, but I finally took it into work to scan it.  It was from the old Monorail Cafe at the Disneyland Hotel.  This is WAY before they had DCA and such.  I loved the old Monorail Cafe.  I had some really great meals there.  Sometimes I would go just for the onion rings, which were the best I've ever had.  I remember how one visit the waitress told me that they would be tearing the cafe building down.  But, not to worry.  The cafe would be rebuilt in a different spot.  That never happened.  At least before they bulldozed the cafe building I took about a half dozen place mats (seen above).

It's so messed up that I still have to pretend to go to work to avoid my aunt nagging me.

Sun Nov 13, I was told by T the other day that I might have to open the library up.  Well, it turned out that they didn't need me opening up the library, since one of the full timers did it.  I did need the extra time to get the community room ready for an event.  Thankfully that went on without a hitch.  I am really tired of these events on Sunday.  They suck dick.  And they can suck my dick.

At 4:55pm this dummy patron comes into the library demanding that we help her out.  We told her that the computers were off, since they turn off automatically.  She told my coworker that it was an emergency and my coworker let her use her computer on the reference desk.  Bad.  Of course dummy patron proceeds to try to login to her email, and fails.  First she sits at the computer and tells my coworker that she doesn't know how to get to her email service.  Mind you, this woman is a regular, and comes into the library to use the computers at least four times a month.  My coworker gets her to the email login and then dummy proceeds to enter the wrong password.  Not once, but three times.  She then says she has her password in her car.  My coworker tells her we can't help her since the library is closing.  Dummy patron then says that it's an emergency and that needs us to keep the library open for her.  Ah, no!  She then tells me that I have no sympathy, which she is right about.  I don't.  She's a loud mouth, and a drama queen, and a liar.  She storms off and stops a few feet from the new books and says, "You're nasty."  I answered with a thank you, which seemed to just piss her off all the more.  She did come back and the full timer helped her do whatever.  I didn't stick around to find out.  They don't pay me enough to care about this shit.  And I know that this woman is just a dope and a liar.  She just wants to get her way, and she will say anything to get it done.  Fuck that shit!

Tonight might not be H's last day working at San Marino, but it is in a way.  She's going to work on Saturdays, but she will mostly be working at her new job.  So tonight we went out for drinks and food.  Both were just OK, but the company was nice.  I want to make an effort to keep in touch with H now that I won't likely see her at work.  That is unless I'm ditching my aunt and going to the library on a Saturday.  Which is very likely.  But even still, there is no guarantee that she will continue to work Saturdays for very long.  I will miss H.  She's been there nearly as long as I have.  I'm not one of the longest serving employees in the whole place.  My old Sunday partners in crime are now all gone.  *sigh*

Mon Nov 14, Yet another entry from Overheard that I won't be sending to TheDesire.  This one is just typical of how things work.  For some reason it's so difficult to find someone in this fucking city.  Like the person in this entry I'm not even trying any more.

I talked to my coworker about yesterday's dummy patron and when I got to the part of the story where I repeat what dummy said about her granddaughter having had a stroke my coworker immediately knew who I was talking about.  It would seem that dummy uses the same fucking excuse on everyone.  That does it.  Fuck that bitch.  She can eat shit with her fucking tired excuse... excuse me, her out and out lie.  I don't feel bad about leaving her yesterday.

I was on the reference desk giving my coworker her break when a text comes up on my screen from Talia.  It's the picture above.  I quickly closed the window.  I really don't want to encourage her to keep texting me, so I just said nice and that was it.  I didn't text her after that.  I don't need this.  Of course she knows that I've pulled away.  She's not an idiot.  But I can't deal with Talia any more.  I tried.  I tried to be her friend.  I tried to be whatever.  I'm done with trying.

After work I went to get some food before going over to TheGirl's place.  I wanted to get some chicken from KFC last night, but I went to dinner with H instead.  Today I knew I wanted to get some chicken and take some home with me.  And that's what I did.  I ordered the new Nashville hot chicken and it was OK.  Nothing like that chicken I had at Howlin' Rays a few months ago.  THAT was awesome! This wasn't bad, but it wasn't THAT hot.  Popeye's spicy chicken is hotter than this KFC stuff.

I went over to TheGirl's and she told me that a friend of hers that she knew for a long time had died today.  Apparently he had a mass in his body and he coughed and he bleed to death.  That's a bad way to go.  But of course I think of what idiot is going to cross my path and possibly kill me.  Or what illness might feld me.  This is why I try to enjoy my life as much as possible.  For at the end of it none of it will matter to anyone but me.

Tue Nov 15, Today was about little special deliveries.  Not like last week, but I did have to go to a bookstore in Pasadena to drop off a seller's book kit.  It is used during the author events to sell books to patrons.  They sold seven books at the last author event.  Why even bother?  Whatever, I don't give a shit.  I also had a huge amount of boxes full of photos for Snow.  They weren't heavy, they were just bulky.  Total bullshit.  Also, on Thursday I didn't take my break.  There was no way I wasn't taking my full break today.  It was nice, and I needed it.

My buddy was telling me that new guy came back from the route at 3:15pm.  Not that I'm judging, but he did mention that he was going to not "rock the boat."  By him coming nearly an hour earlier than me it makes me and Vagabundo look bad.  Mind you, they don't give new guy special deliveries to take all over town.  But, still, it can look bad.  So much for not rocking the boat.

With all the stuff I had extra today and having to go to get gas twice I didn't really get to have the ideal circumstances for something I wanted to try for a while.  I've been wanting to go to Grandview first, and then to Brand.  The move would help me avoid the school traffic, and I wouldn't have to see anyone of my coworkers.  The police had the city hall yard closed off, so I couldn't fill the van's tank like I wanted to.  It wasn't running on fumes, but it was getting pretty close.  I knew my buddy would not get gasoline, because he's afraid to maneuver in the city hall lot to the gasoline pumps.  Which would mean I would really be on fumes on Thursday.  So I had to go back a second time later on the route.  But, with all the delays my plan to avoid GV dopes failed.  I was earlier than usual, but everyone was already there.  I think I'll have a better chance later in the week.

My buddy O came over to my place to have dinner.  We went to Fatburger and chewed the fat.  Ha!  Yeah, the both of us are pretty much resolved to be single for the rest of our lives.  Ideally it would be nice for us to find some nice lady friends that we could have as companions and sleep with.  Nothing too major.  But, is that going to happen?  Not bloody likely.  So, the two of us will most likely be bachelors for life.  Obviously I've made peace with that idea and so has my buddy O.

Wed Nov 16, Oh fucking bullshit!  Today my cousin's kids ONCE AGAIN came super early for school.  I mean come on!  Like I've said countless times here, they don't start school until 8am.  They don't usually walk over to school until 7:45am.  Then why the FUCK do they have to show up to my house at 7am?!  It's so not right.  I want to just have those few little minutes before having to get out of bed.  I want to go to the bathroom and have my morning shit before I shower and go to work.  But that's too bloody much to ask for these days, I guess.  So I don't shit at home.  I end up shitting at work.  I take a shower, and then I have to wait until 7:45am to get out of the bathroom because I don't want to see anyone.  Dammit!  This is some major bullshit!  I fucking hate my cousin's kids showing up so early.  Why can't they show up after 7:30am?  I mean why not show up at 7:40am and go right to school instead of coming into the house and running around like loons?  It's obviously too much to ask.

TheLamp had to be in a training at 1pm, so they asked me to come out and get on the desk.  Of course no one told me before, so I hadn't had my lunch.  They later gave me a lunch, but it goes to show you how no one is ever prepared for anything.  And that's why they turn to the one that is prepared... me.  After covering the desk I had to print out the poster for the start of the bookmark contest tomorrow.  Take a look at the poster I made (above).

I checked my email from the Glendale job and found that supposedly the construction is on time.  Yeah sure.  But, it looks like they have a opening date, or close to an opening day.  Thursday March twenty-third.  We shall see they are able to actually meet that goal.

TheGirl and I went to a sub shop that she one time drove us all the way down to Oceanside to eat.  The sub that day was fucking incredible.  Tonight we went to the local franchise here in NoHo, which opened a few weeks ago.  Sad to say, the sub was not as good as I remember it.  It was good, but not AS good.  I still think it's better than the alternatives, but it's not what I had down in Oceanside.  Still, the company was good.  TheGirl said she might go up to Lake Havasu next week to attend a funeral for a friend that I met when we were dating.  He had a mass in his throat, he coughed and it bleed out.  Now he's dead.  I didn't tell her I'm going up to Carmel, which I could have since this would have been the perfect opportunity.  I guess I will wait to tell her later.  I love her, but that later trip was not for me.  It was for her and her daughter.  I had a good time, but I also didn't feel well.  THIS upcoming trip is for me and monkey.  That's it.

Thu Nov 17, Got into work and found that there weren't too many bins going out today.  This is good, because I woke up with zero energy today.  Also, my neck hurt.  In short, I needed an early day today.

I went to Pasadena and returned to Central and I found Emma there.  She had a project to laminate a sign that will ask patrons if they like the new hours for the branches.  It's so dumb.  Of course the patrons are going to like more hours.  I hope they at least try to figure out how bad a job they have been doing at this library business.  I know they need statistics to show why they should keep the libraries open during the weekends or late at night, but really the people who go at night are going to answer in the affirmative.  Not many people are going to answer in the negative, simply because of the nature of how the question is stated.  If they said, "You don't want extra hours, do you?"  That would be way different than, "Would you like the library to stay open late?"  It looks like I'm asking the same question, but I'm really not.  But, whatever.  They can rot, and their survey can rot.

I don't make an effort to talk to TheDesire at all these days.  I am polite, but I don't make any extraordinary efforts to talk to her.  Like I would have in the past.  Today she was standing by the circulation desk at Casa talking to a patron that's a regular at Central.  He said something to me about being surprised I was still employed with the library.  I laughed and went to get the bins, never really looking at TheDesire.  I looked at her shoes.  I grabbed the bins and left.  Then on the way back I didn't see her again.  Fine by me.  That ship sailed so long ago.  Done.

The other day I talked to my buddy about how I wanted to switch the delivery order so that I would go to Grandview FIRST, and then go to the Brand library.  I tried it on Tuesday but failed so badly.  However, today turned out to be ideal for the switch.  I went to GV first and 1) avoided the clusterfuck that is the street in front of the library.  2) I avoided having to talk to Snow.  3) I was able to avoid the security guard.  For those three reasons I can truthfully say that this idea isn't just good, it's great.  I shall continue this until I can't.  Maybe I'll redo the entire sequence of the deliveries.

Last week Mo said that he was going to get some drinks with Kayvon tonight and invited me to come along.  I woke up not really feeling it, and I texted him that I had to go to my other job and I couldn't make it.  He said that Kayvon flaked on him too.  This means I might have to go through with this in the future.  But, for now I ditched this drinking thing.  I like both of these guys, but they wanted to go to a dive bar up the street from the library.  I don't want to do any more hangouts with coworkers or anyone inside the city.  Actually, I don't want to do them anywhere, but especially in the city.  At least for tonight I dodged a bullet.

Just before leaving work I walked around the construction area and checked things out.  There has been a lot of progress done, but at same time you can see that there is a LOT to still get done.  Maleficent sent an email yesterday saying that the construction is "On time" for an opening in late March.  OK, I added the "Late" part.  Supposedly this is all done in January and then comes getting ready for opening day.  Let's see how it goes.

I come home tonight and my aunt asks me what I want for dinner.  She offers me some enchiladas, which hit the spot.  As she's getting them ready and I'm pouring water in the pitcher I have in the fridge she tells me that the family has invited themselves over for Thanksgiving.  I should have told her right then and there that I wasn't going to be in town.  But, I can wait to tell her tomorrow.  So happy to hear I'll be dodging that bullet.  I love the family, but these days I just want alone time.  I'm so used to just being alone.

I was sitting at my desk and I was about to get some things done when Talia texted me another picture of her boobs (above).  Ah, that's OK lady.  You had your chance.  Last time I was at her place was quite unpleasant.  I like the pictures, but at the same time if they are meant to entice me they are failing.  I know what she is... a flake.  I'm done with so many people.

Fri Nov 18, This morning I had a proctored test to administer.  It's usually not hard, and since my coworker in charge of this told me about it on Monday I was all set for it.  When I got to work I got everything ready for the guy.  I printed out the test, and I put three sheets of blank paper for him to do equations on.  I had a nice seat next to the reference desk all ready for him.  AND then he showed up.  I told him that I had a seat ready for him and he said he liked sitting next to the window.  I was OK with that.  But then I told him that he could only use a financial calculator, whatever that is.  He told me he didn't have one, but that he was going to use his iPhone.  Ah, what?  I told him I couldn't let him do that for obvious reasons.  He told me, "I'm not going to cheat."  But I told him, "You see how this is a problem, right?"  He then got agitated.  I could see it in his face.  He remained calm, and then I told him that he could put his stuff in the cabinet, and he told me, "I've never had to do that in the past."  I answered that THIS was the way I was shown to do this.  He didn't like my answer, and asked me when my coworker who runs this testing thing would show up.  I told him the days she was here, and he told me he would come back.  I asked him if he wanted to reschedule, but he didn't respond.  I was like, "Whatever dude," in my mind.  He did come back later, without his iPhone or his book bag.  He was much calmer and amenable.

My buddy and I were texting each other yesterday about checking out what is going to be open on Thanksgiving day on the peninsula.  We have our favorite spots, but we didn't know what was open.  I spent a little time on the desk this morning calling various places we intend to go.  Sure enough, almost all of them will be closed.  No surprised there.  Which cuts the number of options that we have for food when we go up there.  I know that the Carl's Jr. in Pacific Grove is open, because I've had to eat there the last two Thanksgivings.  Still, I rather eat there than starve.  It's not completely ideal, but I'm just happy to be in Carmel/Monterey.

My coworker showed me that we got the pay day and holiday calendar today with our paychecks.  I went ahead and put the dates on my calendar, and I noticed that the two jobs pay days will now nearly line up.  Glendale will pay me every other Thursday, and San Marino will pay me every other Friday on the same week.  That's going to be good.  I hated the schedule Glendale used this year and before.  Now, I might have a few bucks in my pocket more often.  Yeah, right.

My car showed that it needed service.  I didn't want to go up to Carmel with a car that needed service.  I made two appointments, one for the oil change and one for the dealer to fix the air bags that are under recall.  The guy at the dealer said that everything could be done today.  What?  Really?  That was nuts, because the person told me when I made the appointment for the air bags that it would be about four hours.  Here this guy is telling me it's going to be less than two hours for not just the air bags but for the oil change and installing new brakes.  He told me during the inspection that my brakes needed replacing.  Yet, he was right.  The car was ready by 5:30pm.  Amazing.  I won't have to go back in December to get the air bags fixed.

After all that I still had dinner plans with Misa and Vagabundo.  We had thought to go to a place on Melrose, but because I checked to see the menu online I was able to see that they closed because of the Jewish sabbath.  So the choice had been made for us, it was to be Little Jewel of New Orleans in Chinatown.  I ordered a fish and chips po boy, but I think that I should have ordered what I originally thought of ordering... roast beef.  It was good, but I say that I should have ordered the roast beef, because that might have been better.

Sat Nov 19, I had not seen my buddy Dane in weeks.  I haven't really seen him much since the Central library closed in September.  I think I've seen him two times since then.  I told him we could hang out today.  He wanted to go to Santa Monica and chill out there, so that's where we went.

We did go to Santa Monica, as my buddy Dane wanted.  We walked up and down Paradise park, which overlooks Santa Monica beach.  We walked by the camera obscura and we were able to finally visit the inside of it.  I think I was more impressed by it than Dane, but oh well.

After the camera abscura the two of us went onto the Santa Monica pier.  Not much to say about that, other than we went around the pier.

I don't eat much for breakfast these days, as a consequence I was hungry early on in the day.  I told Dane that I was hungry, and I suggested the hot dog on a stick stand.  I ordered us up a pair of corn dogs and a pair of lemonades.  The grand total was over $22.  Which I think is highway robbery.  But, it was also Dane's one day where he can go to Santa Monica, so I didn't mind paying.

While we were waiting in line to order up our corn dogs we watched a really tall woman pose for some pictures.  Dane was convinced that she was actually a guy.  I have to say, she didn't look like a man to me.

Dane in front of a place named Perry's, which is his surname.

We walked down a little longer and we ran into a really cute girl taking pictures.  So I took a picture of her.

A look back at the pier as we walked back to my car.  It was getting chilly, and I was getting hungry, so we walked back to the car, but not before I got this shot.

Nearly sunset.  Today was a good day.  I miss talking to Dane.  We've been friends for nearly a decade.  Sadly we haven't talked much lately, except over text, because of the Central library being closed.  Dane did mention that even after Central opens again he won't be going there every day.  That sucks, but I guess he has found that he doesn't need to be at Central all day.

Lastly, I checked my work email and I saw a picture that was taken a few weeks ago at GV.  I never thought that picture would see the light of day, but here it is.  I remember the day when Snow asked me to be in the picture.  Well, technically it was more like forced to be in the picture.  I found out that one of the stupid administration people thought to have these pictures taken so show just how happy we all are.  Whatever, motherfucker.

Sun Nov 20, When I got to work today I noticed that there were some stanchions out in the hallway.  Apparently they used them yesterday to coral patrons.  I decided to take a couple of them and put them around the reference desk.  One of my biggest pet peeves is how patrons will walk behind me while I'm on the reference desk.  I fucking hate that.  I've talked about putting up barriers, but it wasn't until today that I actually did it.  My coworker says that it makes us look unfriendly.  Tough shit.  I'm inviting, I just want to invite people to the back of the desk.  That's our domain.  I don't know if they'll let me keep these here, but for now I'm going to use them.  Just like how the circulation department went ahead and did whatever they want with signs all over the place, I feel I can do this.  So fuck it.

In the past there's this program that always comes in on a Sunday that is called Joyful Living.  It has been less than joyful for me, because the group has been a little demanding.  But, in the last few weeks it's been not just good but a pleasure to deal with them.  Today is a good example.  They came in.  I got everything ready for them.  They weren't super demanding, and they left on time.  Fucking clicking on all cylinders.  If they were always like this I would have never bitched about them in the first place.

I went home after work, even though I did have the notion that I should go to Disneyland.  I felt that perhaps the rain would keep some people away, but it never really does.  Also, I was tired.  I need to go on a Saturday morning, like super early.  I can't go this coming Saturday, but the following looks like a possibility.  It's so hard to go after work on a Sunday now.  I seriously don't have the energy to do such a thing.  So, I went home and watched today's Patriot game.  I made myself dinner.  I had planned on finishing up the popcorn chicken I bought earlier in the week.  But the toaster oven I put it in burned them.  It's my own fault for not watching them.  I wanted to take my shoes off, so I walked away from them.  Fucking bullshit.  I was so mad.

I told myself the other day that I would change the settings on TheDesire's FB feed so fewer, if any, items that she posted would be shown.  After thinking about it I felt that was a harsh thing to do.  I know I'm ignoring her, and everyone else at work, but it's not because she did anything wrong.  If anything, it's because I did something wrong that night that I threw coffee in my coworker's office.  I don't hate TheDesire.  I don't want any ill to befall her.  I truly want her to be happy, and to not just be a bride's mate, but be the bride.  She is incredibly desirable, hence her name.  I would want her in my life TODAY if I could have her.  But I have decided to go cold turkey, because there's no way I'll be able to be with her.  She's made that clear over and over and over again.  And I don't begrudge her happiness.  On the contrary, I wish her nothing but luck.  She is too wonderful to not be happy.  I wish still that I had had a chance with her and that I could have won her over.  Some day some douche or good man will win her over.  I sincerely hope that she doesn't end up with a douche.  She deserves better.  She deserves happiness.

I was looking through my photos that I post here and one photo came up that was apropos and poignant.  Back in 2008 when I first started working at San Marino the then head librarian and library director gave me a note to thank me for working there.  I didn't get to know her, but she did hire me.  The note still resonates all these years later.  What touches me today is the line where she tells me to enjoy life.  I have been trying to do so, but reading those words from a person that is long dead does resonate.  I really need to enjoy life more than I ever have in the past.  At best I am half way through this life.  That means I only have a few years to enjoy before I no longer exist.  I think these words need to be followed by me as if they were gospel, because they really are.

Mon Nov 21, My aunt made me breakfast this morning.  Most morning I'm not terribly hungry, so I just want to eat something small.  My aunt has this way of making a tuna fish sandwich.  She sandwiches the tuna between lettuce, and it's irritating.  I told her I don't like it that way, and it's as if I asked her to ONLY do this this special way.  Also, look how she cut the sandwich.  Not that I mind that part too much, but I rather she just cut it down the middle.  But, if I tell her that she will do it once and then ignore what I said.  It's just her nature.

One of the library board members has been pushing the boss to have me print out a "wish" list of items.  The boss feels that it's begging, but she has to listen to the board members.  Hence me getting the assignment to update and then print out the list.  Today I mounted it and then put it front and center at the circulation desk.  It's certainly not everyone's cup of tea, but what can we do.  There is always someone above us that THINKS something should have some emphasis.  We don't care because we just don't get sold on things as easily.  But for the weak minded we have signs.

The McRib is back and I wanted to have one for dinner.  But the horrible McD's by work in San Marino didn't have it, so I had to settle for something else.  So disappointed.

Of course I visited TheGirl tonight after work.  I played with her puppy Cheyenne and the end of the night Cheyenne was super tired.  I never thought a dog would touch my heart as much as this dog has.  I care what happens to this dog more than 90% of the people I know.

Tue Nov 22, I didn't have any more to drink last night than any other night.  But, having stayed up late jerking off AND drinking sure didn't help me wake up on time this morning.  I heard my alarm, and I think I hit the snooze button.  I don't remember anything after that.  Not until I woke up at 6:43am.  I jumped out of bed, knowing I didn't have time to shower or eat.  I totally fucked up.  I decided that I didn't have time to take a quick shower, so I just got dressed and got my lunch (which I did have ready since last night), and bolted out the door.  Of course it turns out I DID have time to take a super fast shower, because I arrived early to work.  Like twenty minutes early in the parking garage.  Oh well.

Because I ran out the door this morning I didn't get to do a lot of things on my morning routine, like take a dump.  I kinda wanted to go this morning, but I figured I would wait until I got to work.  I was hesitant, because I'm peep and poop shy.  Well, sure enough... I go into the men's room and I think I'm going to be there alone when a coworker starts using the stall right next to me.  I tried to go, but couldn't.  I went and got the van first and then came back about fifteen minutes later and was able to do my business.  What a terrible morning.  I texted my buddy that today was going to be bullshit.  Then I told myself and him that no... this was NOT going to be a bullshit day.  It would only be if I let it, and I was not going to let it be a bad day.

Jade asked me about new guy and asked if I knew him well.  I don't, I told him, and then he proceeded to tell me that new guy has been treating him rude.  Like not answering the phone when he (Jade) calls him with official business.  Nor will new guy text him back when Jade sends him a text.  I don't get that, at all.  Then Jade went on to tell me about something I knew about thanks to my buddy Vagabundo working there on Mondays putting the fiction collection back on the shelf.  My buddy mentioned how new guy seems to finish much earlier than either of us.  But then he pulls this strange move where he will finish at 3:30pm and then clock out saying he was there till 4pm.  Mind you, Jade mentioned that he only does that every other Monday when Les isn't in the office.  Shady.  That means it's a calculated move.  Vagabundo has talked me to me about how new guy takes his "break" at the end of the shift, which is a big no no.  Not taking a lunch is one thing, but then leaving work early because that is part of that lunch he didn't take is wrong.  No way he would be doing that if Les was always there.  Jade noticing isn't a good thing for new guy.  Jade hasn't said anything to Les about this, but I know Jade too well.  He won't let this pass if new guy continues to be rude to him.  Jade knows how to defend himself.  And moreover, now Jade has information to use against new guy.  As Jade said, new guy has become "Too comfortable" already.  Not three months into the job and yeah, he is too comfortable.  Not a good thing.

I took my lunch, today lunch/breakfast, in the park as usual.  Not much to report except there was a tiny little bug on my towel as I ate that looked like a leaf.  I was just about to take that piece of leaf off the towel when I saw that it was moving a little.  Sure enough, it was a bug.  Anyway, I left the little thing alone until it was time for me to go.  I took a stick and moved it off my towel.

Just as I was about to have lunch Jade texts me to pick something up from city hall, the city attorney to be specific.  I told him I would.  Come to find out later that they asked him to go to city hall and get this item.  Shady.  Whatever, I was already by there.  It didn't add that much more time to my route.

During my second to last stop Mala came up to me as I was loading the van and asked me if everything was OK with me.  She was asking because I, "Hadn't been my usual self," the last two times I have come into the branch.  Well yeah, I haven't seen my usual self in that I don't stick around each branch talking to everyone.  I'm on full submarine mode, and that's how I like it.  So sorry, not sorry.  Nothing against her or anyone else, I just don't want to have to deal with these people.  But it is funny that she noticed I'm not sticking around being all chatty.  Yeah, well, too bad.  Yeah, well, too bad.  Welcome to the new reality.

Wed Nov 23, Pseudo supervisor won't be in the office until next week, and since I'm taking a trip up north I won't see her for a week.  I figured I had a slow morning to myself.  Boy, was I wrong.  One of my coworkers was going to be late because she was going to pick up her car from the body shop.  And the other coworker isn't qualified to do passports.  I had to throw in and help out my coworker do passports.  I haven't done a passport for along time, but thankfully the people I helped out today were all prepared with the proper paperwork and photos.  Thank the maker.

Finally my coworker showed up and we were able to bust through the passports that were left over.  My coworkers were thankful I was there to help them out.  At the end of it all I was happy to help them.

TheGirl and I had what is now our semi traditional Thanksgiving day eve dinner.  We went to a place on Riverside that served pizzas, and we split a pizza, since she was craving one.

Emma texted me to ask me if I had seen TheDesire's email from work.  No, I told her, and then I went to check the email.  Of course the date they pick is nearly a year to the day that Vagabundo and I thought we were going to ask out Shay and TheDesire respectively.  I don't need to remind you that it didn't turn out THAT way.  Vagabundo and I have said that there is NO way we're going out with these dopes that night no matter what.  Well, perhaps if a couple of the pretty pages show up.  But even then, I have my attentions on the girl from San Marino.

Thu Nov 24, Thanksgiving hasn't ever meant much to me.  For some it means gathering with family and friends.  For me it means fleeing family and friends.  Usually fleeing up north.  The last three Thanksgivings I've gone up to Carmel.  I might change that next year, but this time I also decided to go up to Carmel for the long weekend.  I planned on getting on the road as early as 7am, but that didn't work out.  My body just didn't want to wake up THAT early.  But, I was able to get out the door by 8am.

I had a crazy notion that I would be able to drive all the way up to SLO.  No way, said my bladder.  I stopped off at Pea Soup Andersen's, where Chan was able to pose for a picture.  I had this idea that I wanted to get some food there for later, but that didn't happen.  I considered getting some of their spread cheese with some pieces of bread they sell.  It's super nice, but I thought better.

I stopped in Cambria to get some food, and lo and behold I see my buddy Vagabundo walking up the street just after I parked the car.  We chatted, and his family invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner with them, which I declined.  I told them I was busy.  I didn't want to intrude.  But also, I am going on this trip to spend time by myself.  My buddy recommended that I get the tuna melt for lunch, and I did.  I considered getting something else, but I went with his recommendation.

I made my way up the coast and stopped at Little Sur creek to take a picture I've taken many times before.  I NEVER want to get so jaded that I look at this view and think that it's nothing special.  NEVER.

My buddy's family was nice enough to offer dinner with them, but I wanted to spend this trip alone.  I went to a place that I knew would be open, the Carl's Jr. in Pacific Grove, for dinner.  I ordered their new burger, which was some beer cheese bullshit.  It was OK, but it hit the spot since I was hungry.  The girl that was working there was nice enough to talk to me while she was cleaning up the restaurant.

After eating dinner I went on a little drive around Pacific Grove.  It was so dark and some dope behind me was following my car really close that I decided I should just go back to my hotel.  Thanks people.  Thanks for ruining everything.

Fri Nov 25, First thing I wanted to do today was go to Point Lobos.  I know I went the last two years, but at the same time it's just so gorgeous.  I bumped into Vagabundo and his parents in the parking lot.  We had talked about how might end up there at the same time, since we both had notions of going there first thing in the morning.

If there was any doubt as to why I would come here again then one simply needs to look at that picture above.  This place is gorgeous.

See.  I wanted to maybe postpone this until Saturday or Sunday, but the news says it's going to rain tonight and tomorrow morning.

The first trail I took was one I've taken before, but the second trail was one I didn't take last time.  And boy, did it yield some gorgeous views as well.  I don't think there's a bad spot in this park.

The northern trail is a popular trail indeed.  Almost too popular.  Thankfully, there was a moment when the trails forked off and everyone was going to the one on my left as I looked at it.  I knew I wanted to get back to the car and get going to eat something.  I didn't really eat anything this morning except a small slice of apple pie.  So I was hungry.  I took the Whaler's Knoll trail.  No one was on the little trail.  That is until I started going up.  I think a couple saw that I was going up the trail and decided to follow me.  I stopped for a moment to let them pass, and they kinda just lingered.  The girl said, "This is pretty, but I rather go down the other path."  Fine by me, I thought.  I'm trying to get away from all these dopes.  That allowed me to have that trail all to myself.  Thank the maker, I said to myself.  I was pretty damn tired of dealing with idiots on the trail.  And there's always some dope that stands in the middle of the trail, or yells super loud.  Point Lobos is a place for contemplation, not for yelling.  Yell internally, if you have to yell.

As I said, I was getting hungry, so I booked it out of park and went to Sea Harvest for breakfast/lunch.  I ordered fish and chips along with some garlic bread.  It was super yummy.  I was looking forward to this meal for a long time.

I went back to my room after lunch and decided to take a short nap.  But that short nap turned into a couple of hours.  My computer was playing MST3K, but I passed out in a few minutes from a food coma.  I settled in for the night, since there was no way I was going to give up my nice parking spot at the hotel I was staying.

I walked around the town to find a place to eat, but nothing really made me want to go in and eat.  So, I went back to my hotel and had a bit of apple pie from Linn's.

Sat Nov 26, When go on these trips of mine I usually want to get up super early and get out the door to beat the rest of the tourist dopes.  Today, having done Point Lobos already today, I decided to sleep in.  Something I don't get to do too often at home.  Also, this is a thing with me these days... I just don't have the energy to move in the mornings.

My first option for breakfast was packed with people.  If I had gone earlier I MIGHT have had a chance to get a table.  But with that place packed I went to my list of other places.  I picked this Mexican food place that looked pretty good online.  Suffice to say it was good, but certainly not great.  They proudly display on the window as you enter that they DON'T use lard.  Ah, that's not a good thing.  They need some lard to add flavor to their food.

I planned on walking around Pacific Grove and downtown Monterey today.  I only really got to walk around Pacific Grove.  It was a nice walk, but I was super tired by the time I returned to my car.  I wanted to take a nap.  Certainly the walking around and the food in my belly contributed to the malaise.

I had some free booze in the hotel, and then I became hungry.  I went to the restaurant that I've been to every time I've visited Carmel... Club Jalapeno.  The staff there asked me if I was with TheGirl, because the majority of the time I've visited this restaurant.  I told them no, and ordered up my food. I had two margaritas on top of the free booze I had at my hotel.  The food really hit the spot.

Sun Nov 27, After resting most of Saturday I felt that I really needed to step up my game today and get some sightseeing done today.  I decided to go to downtown Monterey to check out the historic sights here.  As per usual I took my faithful monkey Chan with me.

Chan and I first visited Colton Hall, which was where a couple of hundred years ago a bunch of men met to write the California Constitution.  It was cool to check out these historic sights.

After visiting Monterey historic sights I went to the Point Pinots light house.  It's pretty tiny, and there was more than enough people to fill the tiny lighthouse.  Afterward I went to the shore and just sat there watching the waves come in and crash against the rocks.  The wind was cold, but I didn't mind.  It wasn't so cold that I couldn't take it.

When I got back to my hotel I found that some dummy parked their car in the fucking middle of the parking lot.  It's not a big parking lot, so to have some dummy park themselves right in the middle isn't right.  I parked in the only spot I could find, which was right by the entrance.  Later I parked it in a good spot, next to my room.  I fucking hate inconsiderate people.  Case in point, I went walking around in the evening and some dope was standing in the middle of the sidewalk.  Because of the rain there was a big puddle right next to him.  But did he move?  Of course not.  I wanted to fucking push him in the back and make him feel pain.  Instead I walked around the puddle.

I went back to my room after the walk, and the free booze in the hotel lobby.  I sat with Chan and watched some TV shows online while drinking some more booze.  I sent the above picture to TheGirl via text, saying that Chan was homesick.  I'm not exactly homesick, but I do need to return home.  Not that I want to face the idiots at work or at home.  I certainly don't need that.

Why do I even care what TheDesire does?  Maybe I still care on some level.  Truth be known I do care, but at the same time I could give a fuck if I ever saw her again.  The Universe has deemed this thing with her to be something I concern myself with.  But, I know that she isn't something that is ultimately THAT important in my life.  That is, unless she somehow changes her mind.  Which, she won't.  So, the question is mute.

Tomorrow is travel day.  I'm full of booze right now.  I want to drink more, but I don't have much more in reserve.  I think I'm taking the rest of the booze right now.  Good night!  All I really have is Chan.

Mon Nov 28, You would think three full days would take some time to pass, but today came so quickly.  In the midst of it it didn't feel like the day flew by.  But now that it's over they do feel like they went fast.  I got ready last night to get going, but the the last of my preparations today.  It rained last night, so the ground was still wet when I hit the road.

My first and only scheduled stop in Big Sur was Garapatta.  I wanted to get a picture of Chan overlooking the slender.  I had to settle for the photo above.  Not that it's a bad picture, but I wanted more.  Perhaps next time.

Garapatta, as always, was a marvel.  And the best part was being there alone.  No one else was on the trails.  Mainly because most of the tourist left yesterday to get back to work today.  But I took that extra day to really be able to hate THIS moment alone.  And I did. Being on that plain and overlooking the bluffs ALONE was incredible.  No one rushed me.  No one was lurking a few feet from me.  I was alone with my thoughts.  And the thoughts that came to me were those of Chan, being a bachelor for life, and TheDesire.  As well as TheGirl, work, and just life in general.  Basically, everything.  it was a nice quiet moment that I sought this entire trip.  Not that I didn't have any quiet moments most nights I was in my room alone.  But this was different.  I didn't have a computer or a TV to distract me.  And so I was able to just be in the moment.

My buddy told me about a place he went to on his trip that had good burgers.  Since I didn't have anything for breakfast I decided to eat where he recommended.  The burger was huge, and it was good.  Not the greatest, but really good.  I had originally planned on eating something in Solvang, but by the time I reached Morro Bay I was starving.  When I got to Andersen's I simply used the restroom and filled the gas tank and was on my way.

The rest of the drive was pretty quick.  Surprisingly there wasn't a huge amount of traffic, but that's not to say there wasn't any.  Once I got close to the Los Angeles county line the traffic became thicker until I finally reached the Valley, where the traffic was packed.  Still, I made it home pretty quickly all things considered.  It was a long drive, but it was cool.  One of my favorite parts to drive is the highway between Buellton and San Luis Obispo.  That part of the highway is pretty much straight and allows me to travel pretty fast if I want to.  I didn't go nuts this trip, but on other trips I've really floored it there.

Tue Nov 29, After being off since Thursday today I'm back to the grind.  Thankfully, Jade was so lazy yesterday that he hardly moved any books around.  More on that in a bit.  Before I go into that I want to explain the photo above.  The van is parked in the wrong spot.  The spot to the left is normally the van's spot.  But, these days we take what we can get.  What with dummies and dummy parking structure employees parking there.  I didn't drive yesterday, but I can tell that new guy parked the van where he did because some idiot parked in the van's spot.  I'm pretty much done with this battle.  No one else cares enough to back the drivers on this, so why should I continue to make this my personal battle?  I pick and choose my battles, and I did choose thing one.  But I think it's done.  It's not worth the aggravation that it puts me though.  I thought of telling the administration person about all this, but why even bother?  Nothing ever really gets fixed.  I'm done.

When I went inside the bins from yesterday's route were still on the floor.  Jade either didn't do it, or he was catching up.  But, knowing him it was the former.  This made for an easy route... going out.  Coming back there were a lot of books.  More on that in a bit.

Like I said, the route wasn't too bad.  Going out there were a little less than the usual amount of book bins, but there were a lot of stupid boxes I had to deliver today that had office supplies.  No one can tell me why the branches order supplies that have to be delivered to the central library, instead of directly to the branch.  At least if someone told me that they had to inspect the items, or something like that, I could kinda of understand it.  But Jade told me that the items that were going out today had been delivered last week.  Ah, what?  Why are they JUST now going out?  Because some dope has to go, "Oh, what's in this box," and then open it to see what's inside.  Ah, how about you just fucking mail it to the branches DIRECTLY?  That's obviously too much to ask.  Fucking bullshit!

When I finished up the route today the van was packed to the gills with books going to Pasadena and the branches.  There were only two bins for Central, and one of them was half empty.  But the bins for the other branches numbered ten.  That's a lot of bins, and the Pasadena bins nearly covered the whole back of the van.  I don't think I've ever had that many bins going to Pasadena.  But, all in all today's route was chill.

Wed Nov 30, I wasn't my first day back to work, but it was my first day back to San Marino.  Today was pretty chill.  I have my assignments to do, but I really didn't do much today.  I like that, of course.

I joked a little with TheLamp, which was nice.  Her figure looked really nice today, and of course stupid me renewed my interest in finding out if she's single and if she might be interested.  But then there's the other girl, who looked really cute today too.  I should just face it, I'm not very good at this dating stuff.  Which is why I haven't done much of it in my life.  I'm just going to be a bachelor for life.  Womp, womp!

Tonight I suggested that we try something different to eat.  I went online to check the places by TheGirl's place to eat.  I suggested a place I hadn't been in a long time.  It was pretty good.  I told TheGirl about my trip.  There was a point during dinner that Cheyenne started barking at another dog.  That wasn't pleasant.  I gave her so much chicken in order to distract her while the other dog was around.  It worked, but yeah, that was not pleasant moment.  Still, the moment passed and we went home.  It was a chilly night, and I should have worn something warmer.

I got home and went to say hi to my aunt and the first thing she asks me is if I was able to get the flight passes for my uncle.  A few weeks ago my uncle had me buy some tickets online.  For some reason they have not yet sent me a confirmation number.  Though, they did give it to me the day I booked the flight.  But I didn't take note of it, thinking that the email would show up right away.  Well, it hasn't, so now I have to call the airline.  This leads me to my aunt asking me if I did today.  I was not super busy at work, but I did have things to do, and it slipped my mind.  She tells me, "Your cousin was asking me about the tickets today."  Ah, that's when the air went out of me.  My cousin is capable enough to call the airline, but instead of saying that she was going to call she's telling my aunt, and it falls on my shoulders again.  This isn't a big thing, but at that moment all the air went out of me.  I didn't have the fight in me to get angry about this bullshit.  I felt dejected, and all I could do was walk out of my aunt's room with a deep feeling of sadness.  And really why do I even bother with anything?  There are so many idiots out there ready to ruin my day by their actions.  They are willing to nearly kill me to save a second on their schedule.  They are willing to just be assholes in order to get their way, because they're big crybabies.  And you know what?  I'm tired of all of it.  I'm tired of all the bullshit.  But I just don't have the energy any more to fight.  Perhaps tomorrow, but at this moment tonight I'm just done.  Fuck it all.  What a terrible way to cap off a good month.

My buddy and I went to Santa Barbara to escape before having our schedules blast any chance of hanging out.  One of the main things we do on these little day trips is to get some food.  We went to the outlying parts of Santa Barbara to eat some good food at a place called Super Cuca's.  As we walked there I snapped this photo of a market.

I went to dinner with TheDesire a few weeks ago.  When I was walking back to my car I noticed just ahead a tree with chandeliers hanging from it.  This parking meter converted to a meter for donations clearly says chandelier tree.  I have to go back and take a better picture of the tree.

Who says we don't have seasons in Los Angeles?  While driving around Glendale I took a moment to look up and see at the trees.  And this is what I saw.

Taken on Nov. 7, 2008, during the first days that the Observatory had reopened to the public after a renovation that lasted several years.  It was such a cool night in that only a limited amount of people were allowed up there.  They sold tickets, and my aunt and I had to take a bus from the Chinese theater in Hollywood, because there was no parking up at the observatory.  Still, the observatory never looked so good.

Taken on Nov 1, 2014.  My buddy and I were talking about pastrami sandwiches one day and he mentioned that he thought the best pastrami was served up at Brent's in Northridge.  He wasn't kidding.  Eating that sandwich was akin to a religious experience.  I had a tear in my eye from the first bite.  Incredible.

Taken on July 7, 2007.  I don't usually take self portraits, but on this day I did.  It was the day of my cousin's wedding.  I was there with the Silmarillion (not pictured).  Yeah, it was a magical day.  The last time I wore a tux.  Ha!