Wow, SO much happened this month.  Here it is.

Thu Jan 1, Happy New Year!  Today is the first official day of my Project 2015, something I'm using to motivate me to get some shit done.  2014 was a good year, but that doesn't mean that 2015 can't be better.  Also, my buddy had a bad year, and I'm using this project as motivation for him.  Here is my list of things I want to accomplish in 2015 (in no particular order).

1) Continue with my "Tourist Pictures" project that I started a few months ago.
2) Get laid.  Seems pretty straight forward, but easier said than done for me.
3) Get my photography seen.  Again, easier said than done.
4) Take at least one trip.  Ideally I'd like to go somewhere I haven't been, but I'd really like to go back up to S.F.

Some are easier to accomplish, like the trip.  A trip is just a matter of finding the money and time to go.  The photography thing has been something that I've been trying for a while now without success.  So you see, I didn't just pick really easy things to accomplish this year.  Bring it on, 2015.

It was so nice to do nothing today.  But then I didn't just sit around.  I cleaned my car.  The poor thing needed to be vacuumed.  I cleaned some other parts of the car that needed it.  I loved how clean I used to keep my car.  But I've been busy, and I've let the dirt pile up.  Not good.  That stuff gets imbedded.  The rest of the day I just chilled and watched TV.  I texted TheGirl and asked her if she had a good year.  She says she did.  Certainly her son becoming a fireman makes her proud.  I haven't told her about being rejected by Alhambra yet.

Fri Jan 2, Woke up to a near frozen room.  It was fucking COLD last night.  When I drove off to work I noticed that my neighbor's lawn was covered in white.  The mist was frozen (as pictured above).  It's been damn cold this week.

The route might have been tough for my buddy on Wednesday, but for me the route was pretty chill.  I did have to deal with a ton of donations at the end of the route.  But aside from that today was chill.  My one goal for today was to ask Snow out for the zoo lights event on Sunday.  Alas, I chickened out.  She does look damn cute, and she was all chatty today.  I like her body, I like her face, and I like her demeanor.  Later I told my buddy that I chickened out.  He said there would be other chances, which is true.  However, I didn't want to pass on asking her out again, because it then becomes a million times harder to go through with it.  It becomes easier to not ask.  I can easily find reasons to not ask her.  Just before the end of the route I thought that I could just hand her a note that said something like, "I like you and have found it difficult to ask you out," followed by me asking her if she would go out with me.  Under that I would have two boxes where she could make one to indicate she would, or would not, go out with me.  Probably a dumb idea, but I know myself.  I won't ask her out for fear that she will say no.  I fear she will say yes in nearly equal measure.  But I do want her to say yes.

After work I went to my local library to kill some time before going home.  I don't want my aunt to know that I get off early on Fridays.  I also want to avoid her, because I can't have a quiet moment at home when she's around.  This is why I'm sitting at my local library while I write this entry.  She told me that she was going to the doctor's office, but something tells me she got the dates wrong again.  ARGH, it's so frustrating to go home and be bothered every other second, peppered with questions that I don't have the energy to answer.

Well, I came home and my aunt did go to the doctor's office.  She didn't arrive until nearly 10pm.  I will never understand why it takes a pharmacist three hours to place a dozen pills in a bottle.

Sat Jan 3, Woke up really late this morning, 10:30am.  That's SUPER late for me these days.  I woke up this late because I was jerking-off last night.  Oh, and I was nice and sauced as well.  I mention my masturbation in this journal because I have to be honest.  I tend to jerk-off three times a week.  I'm obviously not seeing anyone, and I need to rub one out on a regular basis.  I usually don't talk about it here, obviously, but it is a regular thing.  There's a moment when I find a good clip and the camera focuses on the girl's butt and I pretty much blow it then.  I've always been a butt man.  I also mention all this because in a previous entry I mentioned how I was going to try and have sex this year.  Last year was a "drought year," you might say.  Except for my jerking off I didn't get laid.  Not that it's my only focus, clearly getting laid wasn't my top priority this past year.  If it had been I think I would have thrown an offer at TheGirl.  I'm pretty sure she would be amenable to the idea.  She's pretty much said so.  It was a year ago this past November that we last had sex, while on one of our Big Sur trips.  But I told myself that I rather just keep TheGirl as a friend.  Still... the thought of sleeping with her has crossed my mind.

I signed up with OK Cupid to see if I can find a date.  I deleted my Tinder account once and for all.  I only had TWO hits in over a year's time.  I mean, am I such a horrid fella?  The evidence would seem to show that yes, I'm hideous.  I'm not a young man any more.  My window of opportunity is closing slowly, but it is closing.  I mentioned how the thought of marriage being something I have to worry about is now on my mind.  I don't see myself getting married, because one needs to actually get a date before one can think of that next step.  Alas, I don't have much hope that OK Cupid is going to find me anyone either.  The next step would be another dating site, perhaps one where I would have to pay.  I've been reluctant to do so.  I'll give myself a few months of trying to ask Snow out before I go down the dating site path.

I joined the social network site "Ello" today.  I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do on there just yet.  I suppose I'll post some of my photos, and stuff.  No one I know is on that site anyway.  I do want to migrate away from Facebook.  The site itself is whatever, but it's the content put on by my friends is what I question.  It used to be that Facebook was a place where people put events in their lives to have others comment on them.  These days it just feels like a long list of links from other sites that have culled a bunch of "interesting" news stories.  The other thing that Facebook posts are populated by are posts from Instagram.  If it wasn't for those things I wouldn't know what anyone is doing in their lives.  But that's what it's come down to, just whatever.  I don't expect everyone to write about their lives like I do here, in long form.  Anyway, this is why I'm going to give this new site a shot.

Sun Jan 4, My original plan was to ask Snow out and have her accompany me to this thing called LA Zoo Lights, at the Los Angeles zoo.  Alas, I chickening out, and not wanting to go alone, I asked TheGirl to go with me.  She was my back-up, my buddy being my back-up to my back-up.  I picked her up after work, and she bought me dinner at Chipotle and then we went to check out the lights.  The zoo was all decked out with lights.  I liked it, and I'm glad I did it, but I do wish there had been more to see.  Perhaps next year they can expand the amount of lights.  It's hard because the zoo is big enough to handle the amount of people, but its shape made it more difficult to dedicate large areas for the light displays.  Still, TheGirl and I had a good time.  So did Chan.

Hanging with TheGirl is definitely different these days.  I was playful, but I didn't try to hug her or do anything affectionate.  I like to get to get the courage to ask Snow out, and hopefully have her say yes.  Until I get some courage I'm glad that TheGirl is there for me.

Mon Jan 5, Nothing much to report on today.  About the only thing I can think of is that today marks the one year anniversary of me being on the reference desk at my San Marino job.  The year has gone fast, that's for sure.  It's been a good year on that desk.  The first day, as I remember it, the first question I had was by a child that wanted a book.  I was SO nervous.  Now, it's old hat.  I helped a woman while I was on the desk today that I've seen before studying with someone in one of the study rooms.  She's quite attractive, and of course I'd like to see if she'd be interested in going out.  But I'm a pretty big chicken when it comes to this sort of stuff.  I didn't ask her, but I tried to flirt the best I could under the circumstances.  What I need now is time to get my work done.  I sit in an office with someone that likes to talk.  It's good for her, because she can bounce ideas off me.  But, I have a pile of memberships that I need to be processed.  I thought my pseudo supervisor wasn't going to show up, and in the few minutes I had to myself on the desk I actually did the most work on the memberships I've done in weeks.  As soon as she arrived she talked to me about some job assignments she needs me to do, and my work on the memberships totally stopped.  When I start working Tuesday mornings at Glendale I plan on working a few hours in the evening at San Marino.  I'm sure my productivity will go up.

Another thing that kept me from working on the memberships today was helping my coworker T set-up a computer for the children's room.  That was fun, but it also kept me from doing my work on the memberships, which are piling up.

Chan and I went to TheGirl's after work, as is our tradition.  She told me the other night that she's lonely.  I'd like to hang out with her more often, because we are compatible.  It's easy going with her.  Despite all our history, there is still a niceness to hanging with her.  The thing is, I don't want to fall for her again.  Also, I don't want that niceness to keep me from finding someone else.  Like I don't want me "dating" TheGirl to make me not have a chance with Snow, or anyone else.  But, it was nice to be able to call on her for last night's trip to the Zoo Lights.  Otherwise I might have gone alone, or not at all.

MicroManager told me today that she feels bad that I've lost hours now that I'm driving on Fridays.  I mean, I don't mind losing those hours, but I do mind the money I'm not making.  She said she would likely have me work events after the route is completed on Friday.  It's better than going to the library after work and then going home.  At least this way I can bring my iPad to work with me and chill, and also get paid.

Tue Jan 6, The grind of work continues.  Now there aren't any holidays to look forward to, it's just work, work, work.  That's OK, I have work to do.  Sure enough, as I mentioned last time, MicroManager asked me if it was OK that she was giving me two hours for dinner on Friday when I work the route followed by the auditorium event.  That's what I was hoping for.  I figured I would treat myself to a nice meal at Jax, come back and then just chill for a little bit in my car before returning to work.  It's like she read my mind.  Come Friday I'll have a nice meal at Jax, and then I'll return to work the event.  Woo!

TheDesire hasn't been at work, probably went out of town for new year's.  Whatever.  I did see her today when I came into work.  I was walking by the reference office after using the rest room.  She was standing by the door, but I didn't see her directly.  I had my head down, my headphones on full blast, and just walked by.  I didn't try to ignore her, but I didn't make an effort to say hi after I noticed her in my peripheral vision.  Later, I was going downstairs to take my break, and she was at the reference desk, I once again didn't make an effort to say hi.  I just walked by and didn't turn back.  It is probably petty of me to give her the cold shoulder, but I don't feel like interacting with her for a while.  I'm sure she doesn't, and won't, miss me at all.

Wed Jan 7, Last night I had a nightcap after I finished journaling.  In a moment of clarity I deleted my OK cupid account.  The website, in the last few weeks, has sent me a bunch of dud emails.  Then again, perhaps I'm only good enough to have these dud woman that feel like they are at the bottom of some dating barrel.  Of course, I understand that I'm no prized pig... but STILL.

My shift was pretty uneventful today.  That is until 3:45pm.  That's when the worst patron I've ever had to deal with showed up.  This woman comes up and asked me for a study room.  I told her what I tell everyone, first come, first served.  This is because there wasn't any rooms available.  That response wasn't good enough for her.  She insisted, "I'm here now!"  She got so loud people were looking at us, so I told her she needed to lower her voice, and that we didn't have a room until 4pm.  This was told to me by one of the monitors, that overheard this stupid woman's request.  She wouldn't take the first come, first served, answer, and continued to insist, "But I'm here now."  I was in the middle of helping another patron, so I used that to walk away from the situation.  I told her I would be back, but when I left she found the monitors and asked them for a room.  They told her the same thing I told her.  Not happy with that she returned to the desk and now since one of the librarians was sitting next to me she asked him.  By this time it was nearly 4pm anyway, and he told her that we would see what we could do.  Now the librarian knew her from dealing with her before.  so they go on their merry way to the back to get her a room.  About a half hour later the monitors notice that she's being loud, and tell her she's being loud.  She doesn't lower her voice.  They also notice that there was now a young girl in the room with her, that didn't come with her when she first arrived.  They thought that perhaps she was a tutor.  The monitors called the enforcement officer, because they didn't even want to deal with her.  From the very start of my interactions with her, and with everyone else, this woman was unreasonable and belligerent.  When the enforcement officer came into the library I was given my break, but as I went back to my office I saw that the enforcement officer was standing in the doorway of the study room.  The woman inside was getting loud.  I went into my office and took my break.  When I came back to the desk I noticed that there were four police officers questioning the horrible woman outside on Huntington Drive.  Apparently she wouldn't let the enforcement officer have her ID, because she thought that would keep the enforcement officer from citing her for tutoring in the library (which is not allowed).  Normally the enforcement officer lets people off with a warning, but this lady wouldn't make things that easy.  The police continued talking to her, and then I was asked to come out, along with the boss.  We both went outside and that's when the horrible woman accused me of starting this whole thing.  She said, "I should have known it was you that called the police."  Of course I HADN'T called, but I was about to before I went on break.  The woman was told one last time that she needed to surrender her ID, and if she didn't she was going to jail.  She refused and the police surrounded her.  We took that to be our cue to get out of there, and we went back inside.  Just as I was about to leave the library, since my shift was over, I was told that they had arrested her and that they would need a statement from all of those involved.  I gave the officer my statement and heard the rest of the statements.  That's how I'm able to tell you what happened when I was on break.  The woman was a fucking shit stain.  She would not take no for an answer.  These type of people eventually fuck up and get themselves into situations where they can't just bully people.  From the start she bullied all of us.  She wanted a room, and she got one.  She wanted it for two hours, I forgot to mention, our policy is one hour... tops.  Unless no one else is waiting.  Well, today she got some of what she deserves.  I hope she never returns to the library.

Following this work day I so needed some booze.  Thankfully TheGirl had wine chilled and waiting at her place.  Dinner was nice.  We talked about a possible trip up to SF.  She's worried about her dog.  She knew that she would be saddled with this problem when she got the dog.  But oh well.  TheHusband could take care of her dog, she said.  Now it's more a matter of money and finding the time.  Don't I know it.  I'm thinking ahead, I told her.  Project 2015 is definitely in motion.  I just want to know if she's game for a trip.

Thu Jan 8, I went into the parking garage at work listening to some Sinatra music.  Really loud, and with my car windows open.  A couple of minutes after parking the car I received a text from TheDesire, asking me if I was listening to Sinatra.  I answered yes, and of course figured that she had heard it coming from my car.  What followed was something I didn't expect, a back and forth where TheDesire asks me if we're still friends, and pretty much guessed right that I was ignoring her.  My buddy said that TheDesire, "Sensed a disturbance in the Force."  That pretty much covers it.  You can read our exchange above.  I haven't contacted her since our discussion about the guy she's been texting and hanging out with.  I saw no reason to continue to focus my attentions on TheDesire after that point.  The Universe put a huge neon sign in my face at that point saying "It's never going to happen."  TheDesire isn't a dummy, which is one of the reasons why I liked her.  She was able to sense I was different towards her.  I'm not going to say I don't find TheDesire to be attractive any more, I just don't see that any effort is going to pay off with a relationship.  THAT's what I ultimately wanted with her.  A friendship is OK, but I wanted more.

After two straight weeks of being off on Thursday I finally got back to my regular route day.  It was heavier than on the Fridays I've been delivering.  I don't see many people at the branches on Fridays because the majority of the branches are closed. It was nice to finally see everyone on the route again.  I saw Snow, she told me that she keeps forgetting my Christmas gift at home.  I nearly told her that I could pick it up at her place.  Ha!  After work I ran into JennW, whatever I call her.  We chatted a little.  I had to run because of job two.  She is pretty, and it's a damn shame she's homeless.  I know that's why she didn't want to go to lunch with me.  There's a spark there though.

I then went to job two where thankfully today it was quiet.  I liked retelling the story of the dummy who got arrested yesterday.  One of the librarians told me that he had also had a run-in with her.  She's not a reasonable person.

Fri Jan 9, I now know first hand way the former driver would end so early on Fridays.  Fridays are super light days as far as the number of bins on average.  Today I only took fifteen bins out no the route with me.  That's a light day by any standards.  I was done about forty minutes before I had to return to home base.  I took my time and yet I still rushed through the route.  I'm liking the route on Fridays, because it's chill, and because I'm not in the office.  One less day of having to deal with horrid coworkers and even worse patrons.  It's also nice to get a second dose of TreasuryGirl.  She is damn pretty.  I also get to avoid TheDesire, which I should start calling TheFormerDesire.  After yesterday's text I don't want to make her feel anything is wrong.  But, clearly she already knows I'm not acting the same towards her.  In that case, oh well.  Quick explanation of the little box in the photo above.  While at Montrose I saw the ad for the library's book bags, which feature Ru and TheDesire.  I saw that they already had beards, drawn in with a pencil.  But, I decided to get a marker and really draw them good.  The above is the result.

My stomach was a bitch today.  It was unsettled all day.  I pooped three times today.  Much more than normal.  I had planned on going to Jax for dinner tonight, since I had two hours in between finishing my route and then working the event at the auditorium.  But, I didn't feel up to that.  Perhaps next week.  In any event, I made it through the route and at some L&L for dinner.  I stuffed my face and went back to my car to take a nap.  I don't remember actually dozing off at any time, but it was just nice to rest.  I've been really sleepy these last few days.  I forgot to mention that I was running late this morning.  I just couldn't get out of bed.  I didn't even have time to eat breakfast.  Which I really didn't want to do anyway, since my stomach was not settled.  Thankfully there was little traffic this morning and I was able to go to a local fast food joint and get some breakfast.  It hit the spot.

After my two hour dinner I had to work this event.  It was a whatever event.  With my unsettled stomach it made setting up more difficult.  Thankfully the event itself was whatever.  I didn't have to do much for over three hours.  But then I had to set-up for Saturday morning.  I didn't get out of the library until 10pm.  I started at 9am.  Fucking long day.  But, made the big bucks.  When I got home my aunt mentioned that she thought I was out painting the town red.  Yeah, right!  I haven't done anything like that in weeks.

Sat Jan 10, Getting out of bed has become a huge effort these days.  This week especially.  I couldn't get out of bed this morning, again.  Today I had an appointment at my car dealer to get my car checked.  The check engine light went on about a week and a half ago.  I set my alarm to give me plenty of time to get ready.  But I could not wake up.  I'm not even sure if I hit the snooze button, but I thought I dreamt it.  When I finally got out of bed I once again found myself running late.  I only had enough time to shower and get my ass out the door.  Thankfully I arrived at the dealer on time.  Still, it sucked because I was starving.  I dropped off the car and then took the metro to the Carl's Jr. up on Ventura blvd.  I had that new all-natural burger.  It was OK.  Nothing spectacular.  I've tasted grass fed beef, and yeah, this tastes like that.

I then hopped back on the metro to go to Hollywood.  I had planned on going to Hollywood to take some more tourist project pictures.  I figured this would be a good time, since the car needed to be repaired, for me to get this project done.  It was much better than me sitting around the waiting room.  Sure enough, they didn't call me until I was already on Hollywood about my car's status.  It has to be brought back when they get the parts.  Likely in the middle of next week.

While at Hollywood and Highland I planned on taking pictures of the tourist.  It was raining, but there were still enough tourists around that I could take a few pictures.  Nothing major, but not enough.  I'll have to go back and take more pictures for this project of mine.

This season I've been following the Patriots more than ever.  Since I have that app that allows me to see any game already aired I don't mind working on Sundays.  Besides, the local station here always airs stupid Charger games.  This year the Patriots have been playing really well.  Week four they lost big against the Chiefs.  That loss put a fire under them.  And here we are now, two games away from the Super Bowl.  This is nothing new for the Patriots, but in the last few years I didn't think they had it in them to win it all.  This year they have it.  I sure hope they win.  The game tonight was a barn burner.

Sun Jan 11, Work was pretty chill today, so I'm going to talk about what I did at work: check out the Golden Globes fashions.  There isn't much to say except that there were a lot of woman that made the wrong choices.  The colors of the night seemed to be: red, silver, blue and like a nude or peach color.  Of the women who wore red I think Helen Mirren was the best dressed.  She also looked awesome.  Perhaps the worst wearing red was Lena Dunham.  The cut was all wrong for her body.  You don't have to have Helen's body to pull off a nice dress.  Certainly it helps.  Kathrine Heigl is a real pretty girl that also makes a good dress even nicer.  Dunham's co-star, Zosia Mamet, also looks terrible.  The puffy dress seemed to be a thing this year.  I wasn't a big fan of the silver dresses, but at least it was different.

Tue Jan 13, I got my evaluation today at San Marino.  For the most part it was tip top.  Just a tiny bit of room for improvement, but I think I can certainly do that over this next year.  Now that I'm a library assistant I get to have these evaluations more often.  Mainly it's because of the merit raise I'm getting.  They have to go through the formality of this whole evaluation thing for me to get my raise.

At job two it was a tiring two hours off the bat after I arrived.  There was also this whole thing of some bookmarks that were lost.  I bought those on Thursday, and of course wasn't around on Friday to have any other involvement with them.  They couldn't find them because MicroManager took a marker and sent them to TheDesire.  She had nothing to do with them, but she saw the word "teen" on one bookmark and thought that it should go to her.  WRONG!  Well, they were looking for them and MicroManager went into a panic.  Once again I got off scott free, because I wasn't there.

At work I had my closest encounter with TheDesire since our text exchange.  She waved at me as I waved at her when I passed her on the reference desk.  She had a huge smile on her face.  Think she missed me?  Probably not, but it's nice to think that she missed me a little.  Oh well.  Anyway, I'm dead tired tonight.  Going to try to actually go to bed early tonight.

Wed Jan 14, My shift on the reference desk today was nuts.  I mean it was hectic the entire time.  There were passport questions, reference questions, questions, questions, questions!  My coworkers on the circulation desk are now passport agents, but they are new to this agent stuff and still need me to hold their hands.  It's tough because I still have to work the desk by myself.  It's been a challenge to balance so much on my new job.  My evaluation reflects that.  I think I do well considering I have so many "masters" at that job.  And as the evaluation says, if I'm given a task I can focus on it and move.  When not given a specific task nothing gets done.  Suffice to say, today was a hectic day.  I was really ready for dinner tonight.

But, of course today couldn't be that easy.  I usually rush after work to TheGirl's for dinner after work.  Tonight I jumped into my car and it wouldn't drive past 10 MPH.  I started driving and almost immediately my car was driving sluggish.  I only made it up the block when I realized I couldn't drive the car any more.  I doubled back to work, parked the car and started making phone calls.  First to TheGirl to tell her my situation.  One of my coworkers suggested that I call and take my car to a local dealer.  But my dealer has the parts all ready for my car.  I made my decision to go home and come back tomorrow for the car.  TheGirl picked me up, and we went to get drive-thru burgers.  The burger was awful, but it was just nice to get something in my belly.  We returned to TheGirl's, ate and talked, and then she took me home.  We had planned on going to CityWalk for dinner, since it's my week to treat.  I told her we'd do it next week.  Tonight was a bust.  I had hoped that the car would run fine until Saturday, but of course it didn't.

Thu Jan 15, I talked with my buddy until way past midnight last night.  He's going on a trip to Big Sur this weekend and he wanted to talk about that.  Also talk shop.  I thought I would not wake up so early this morning.  But my internal clock, reset probably because of the worrying about my car, woke me up at 5am.  But it wasn't that kind of pop out of the toaster kinda of morning.  I was sluggish.  It took me nearly an hour to get out of bed.  I showered and left for San Marino to get my car.  I didn't eat breakfast.  Nothing in the fridge appealed to me. I guess I was just too worried.  I walked the walk I haven't made in a long time, the walk to the bus stop.  I got on and made my way to San Marino.  I decided to try another route to San Marino, just to see if I made better time.  I was out the door at 7:25, according to the pictures I took above.  Took the bus at about 8am.  By 8:30am I as on the bus to Pasadena.  I made it to the library at about 10:15am.  A wee bit short of three hours.  It actually didn't feel like that long, mainly because I didn't have to wait more than 15 minutes for any bus or train.  Still, I didn't really fly down to work either.

work / Crockett finally makes it / H. Salt / bland fish & chips

As soon as I arrived at work I went to the bathroom to pee.  I had to go as soon as I got off the last bus.  After that pressing item I went outside to call Honda care.  They told me that they were sending a tow truck.  I got a text saying that my tow would arrive at noon.  I had about an hour to kill.  I talked to my pseudo supervisor about the work I had finished.  We talked about my chances for going to work on Saturday.  I told her I would very likely make it.  About ten minutes before noon I went out to the front of the library to see if I could spot the tow truck coming, mainly so I could point him to the parking lot.  I waited, and waited, and waited.  Honda care called me back asking if my service had arrived.  Nope.  They got me in contact with the tow truck company.  They told me they would arrive in 15 minutes.  Well, at nearly 1pm Honda care called again, and once again they contacted me with the tow company.  The tow truck didn't arrive until 1:40.  I was at the dealer by 2:30pm, but it fucking sucked that I had to wait SO much longer than I expected.  Once at the dealer they signed me up, and called the car rental place and I was in a car in less than 40 minutes.

Since I walked out the door this morning without a bit to eat I need to get some food in my belly.  Funny how I really didn't get that hungry today.  But once the car was safe I was hungry.  I went to an H. Salt close to the car dealer.  Bad mistake.  The food there was flavorless.  There's an in-and-out right by the dealership that I should have just gone to, but no.  I wanted to eat something else.  But by the time I nearly reached the freeway I was starving.  The closest place was H. Salt.  It was terrible, but at least I was fed.

I arrived home and found my cousin's kids in my house, still.  They usually leave by 4pm, but my cousin was running late.  I usually keep my room closed, mainly because I don't want them coming in and touching my two computers and my stuffed toys.  My Snoopy is nearly forty years old now.  He's falling apart, and can't take being played with by kids.  They went right for him, and Chan.  I had to fight my toys from my cousin's three kids.  I finally took them to my rental car outside.  But just before that one of the girls grabbed Snoopy's ear, and because he's so old and fragile, his ear ripped clean off.  I didn't get mad, I just asked her for the ear back.  Poor Snoopy was now one ear short.  After they left I sewed the ear back on.  It's not as good as new, but at least Snoopy has his ear back.  Today was just that kind of day.  Thankfully 2014 beat me up enough that I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.  Tomorrow, work.  The regular delivery van is now fixed.  I will have a lot of books to deliver.  That's OK.

Fri Jan 16, Since I missed the route yesterday I expected to have a van full of bins, and sure enough there was.  So many bins.  By my unofficial count I moved at least sixty bins today, in and out.  Yet, I didn't go nuts and think that I could do everything.  I told someone that I took today like chopping down a tree.  I was going to take it one chop at a time.  The route wasn't so overwhelming that way.  We got our delivery van back today.  I picked it up this morning, and ran the route with it.  There was NO WAY I could have done the route with the replacement van.

The huge news of the day is that MicroManager is going to be out for six weeks.  SIX WEEKS!  None of us know why she's gone, but we think it's for her yearly vacation.  But this time it just feels strange.  No warning, just an email saying that she's gone for six weeks.  That's what makes this situation strange.  She doesn't announce that she's going on vacation, but at the same time there are hints.  I don't wish her any ill, but it will be nice to be free of her for these upcoming six weeks.

No Snow today.  I did run into Ru at Grandview today.  She was having a bad day, but she sure looked nice doing so.  My buddy says that in a city of pretty girls she's unique.  That's for sure.  Her body is so incredible and yet so tiny.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do with Snow.  I'm not entirely sure that I want to ask her out because my focus has turned away from TheDesire, and my attention wants to focus on someone else.  Or because I really like her.  She pretty and all, but that's not all that's involved in a relationship.  First I have to come up with the courage to ask her out.

After work I bolted to the car dealer to pick up my car, which I was told during the middle of my route that it was ready.  In the set of picture above you can see a mechanical thing.  That is said to be the ignition coil and the spark plug fused together.  This is why my car was running rough, and probably why the exhaust had a strong gasoline smell.  This thing not firing meant that my car was not running efficiently.  Anyway, I have my car back.  Cost me nearly $500, plus nearly $100 for the tow yesterday.  Time to work and make some bucks to pay all these bills.

Sat Jan 17, Not much to report tonight.  I went to work, printed some stuff, goofed off a little.  On my way home I bought some chicken for my aunt and me to eat.  She's not feeling well.  For the last couple of weeks she's been telling me that she's nauseous.  Of course I don't know if this is a new thing with her.  She didn't mention it before, but lately she's mentioned it a lot.  I hope she's well.

My buddy went up to Big Sur today.  Technically he's staying in Salinas, which is WAY different from saying in Monterey or Carmel.  Still, tomorrow he's going up to Point Lobos, or as Chan calls it, Point Monkey.  He said he was inspired to go because of my last trip.  I'm sure he will find it to be wonderful.

Sun Jan 18, Not much to report today.  Funny thing, someone called me the, "King of the Library."  Ha!  The Patriots won today.  In two weeks they play in the Super Bowl.  Woo!

I was going to have my Project 2015 progress report with my buddy, but he's in Salinas tonight.  In lieu of that I'm going to do a quick report here.

Photography: I did part of my ongoing project last week, but that's just a tiny thing.  Getting my work out there is going to be harder.  I have no idea what to do when it comes to that.  I should just buy a billboard ad and have people visit my site to view my work.

Dating: I've decided that I need to cozy up to the new library assistant at work.  I'm not sure it's ideal, but oh well.  Snow is still an ongoing project.  I'd like to ask her out, despite the fact that I'm not catching a vibe from her.  I deleted OK Cupid a little while back, and I'm back on Tinder.  I think I need to consider going on a better dating site.

Trips: I can't imagine going on any trips until I can save a few bucks.  In two weeks the property taxes are due.  Most, if not all, of my money is going to be spent paying those.  Oh, and then the cost of the recent car repairs need to be paid.  Still, I have some ideas for day trips.  I definitely want to go to Santa Barbara.  I know TheGirl wants to go back to SF, but if she can't make it I want to go on my own.  And in November I'm still aiming to go to Big Sur.

Mon Jan 19, Today we had our traditional MLK day training at San Marino.  Part of that is doing emergency drills, followed by CRP recertification.  That was followed by some pizza for lunch, and then back to work.  For most of my coworkers that meant cleaning, but for me it meant going back and printing stuff for this weekend's Open House.  I have to get some other things done before Saturday.

I mentioned lunch, which was pizza.  Pizza hut pizza used to be a favorite of mine when I was growing up, but today's pizza was terrible.  I've now had some good pizza in my life, and this stuff doesn't even come close.

I went back to work after lunch and started printing some more stuff.  After a few hours I was hungry again.  I drove down to get some Jack in the Box, which of course was as bad as the pizza.  ARGH!  Everything I eat tastes so bland these days.  I keep telling myself that I'm going to treat myself to a good meal one of these days, but then something happens to prevents it.  That and I get tired and I just want to go home after work.

The TV show the Bachelor filmed a segment at my local Costco.  I hate Costco, BTW.  It was funny to watch the show, because when I used to go I thought that placed looked like a dump.  It's still a dump, but they didn't show that on TV.  While watching the show I was editing the photos above and I saw that Tina was in the first picture.  I don't think I have a chance with that one.  I'm not sure I want to pursue anything with her anyway.  I'm not quite sure that I want to pursue anything with anyone at this exact moment.  I know I'm talking about Snow, but really relationships suck.  If not for the sex then I probably wouldn't even be seeking anything with any girl.

Really I keep saying that I'm throwing in the towel and giving up on this shit.  But then I think how I'd like to have sex again, and boom... back to the dating apps and shit.  I haven't been lucky in love.  I want to give it an honest effort this year.  If I give it that I want to be able to walk away from this endeavor and be OK with the fact that I just won't find anyone to share my journey with.  Just this year.  After that I can say that at least I tried.

Tue Jan 20, Oh great... I went to the drug store today and the seasonal area had Valentine's day candy.  Once again, another Valentine's day alone.  Thanks for reminding me CVS.

Wed Jan 21, Even though I officially start work at 10am today, my pseudo supervisor asked me to start at 9am.  I did what she asked me to do, and then went to teach my class.  The class went well.  One lady was kinda annoyed, but I think I turned the tide with her.  We'll see how it goes next week.

Following lunch I had lunch with MarriedJenn, for lack of a better name, and also because if I did give her a nickname I can't remember it right now.  She met me at a burger joint town the road.  We talked.  She was having problems with her mother-in-law last week and she was forced to move out of her place.  She's still in-between houses right now, but at least she has help from the state.  MarriedJenn is cute.  I'm not the only one that wishes they could sleep with her.  She's told me stories of other men coming on to her.  Her husband cheated on her, but she's still with him.  She has a crush on my former supervisor at circulation.  Wish she had a crush on me.  Lunch went fast, I had to return to the library and do some more printing.

Once I started my shift I was hit by a hail of passport questions.  It was almost non-stop for the first couple of hours of my shift.  My co-workers are now agents and they still don't know how to do these passports.  So they turn to me for help and guidance.  I help them, mainly because I wish someone was there for me when I didn't know a lick of passports.  Also, this weekend I'll be the passport guy at the open house.  All these questions were good practice.

After work I picked up TheGirl and we went up to the top of Universal and had dinner at CityWalk.  I hadn't been there in at least a year.  She's been up there a bunch of times, likely with TheChisel.  I haven't checked, but I have a feeling TheChisel really is out.  I have nothing to confirm or deny this fact, just my gut feeling.  Which have been wrong in the past.  Still, dinner was nice.  On our way back to the car TheGirl saw a photo booth and we both took pictures in it.  The picture above is of me and one of the stars from some show on NBC called Chicago Hope.  I picked that picture because that actor used to work on the show House MD.  Good times, for sure.

Thu Jan 22, Not much to report from the route.  Well, yes and no.  TreasuryGirl looked so nice today.  Her body is a sight to see.  I wish I could ask her out.  She would be nice to be with.  I saw most of the usual suspects.  They had me go to the city lot on Chevy Chase to pick up some barriers for an event happening on Saturday.  As I drove in I saw TheGirl's son there.  I waved at him.  He politely waved back, but I could tell he wasn't happy to see me.  According to TheGirl he's going to start the fire academy soon.  He was accepted a couple of weeks ago.  She did some celebrating last week.  It's strange to know these facts seeing that her son really is a total stranger to me.  And of course he knows I'm the one that broke up his mother and father, and their happy home.  TheHusband works out of that city lot as well.  I haven't seen TheHusband in a long time.  Months now.  Ever since his DUI he hasn't been working in the city hall area, which is why I haven't seen him.  But this particular city lot is a likely place to run into him.  I didn't today, but if they send me more often I might one day.  Oh well.  At this point there's nothing to worry about.  He probably doesn't remember me at all.  I picked up the barriers and took them to home base.  I saw TheDesire, an thought to say hi.  But she never turned around.  I think she's moved on as well.  Our friendship is now a former friendship, it would seem.  I'm not going to apologize for wanting more from a wonderful girl like her.  I thought she was going to be someone super special in my life.  She is now just another girl that I liked and had no interest in me.

Once again I had to work job two tonight.  Every other week.  Since I get off work earlier these days going to job two is easier as well.  I don't have to rush to eat.  I was thinking of having some Panda Express for dinner tonight, but then I thought of going to the Veggie Grill in Pasadena.  I had some yummy food.  There was a girl that walked by me as I ate.  She was cute.  She smiled at me.  I smiled back.  I thought of saying something to her, but I didn't.  This whole pursuit of women has been one big dead-end in my life.  The only way I'll know a woman wants me is if she makes the first move.  I'm not going to make any moves.  I know I want to get laid this year, but I also don't want to deal with the whole thing.  I have so little time during the day that I don't want to waste what free time I have pursuing women that are just going to reject me.  It's best I just take myself off the market.  Once and for all.  I really think it's the only thing I can do.  It's a better alternative to hitting my head against a wall trying to ask these women out.  I still want to try with Snow.  But even that feels like I'm making myself like her because who else is there to like?  It's like I'm using Snow to focus that crush energy that I was using with TheDesire.  Just because my brain is used to such things, and needs to have some "Dulcinea" figure to focus my energies on.  I'll probably change my mind next week.  Ha!

Fri Jan 23, Not a hell of a lot to report, but I'm going to report it anyway.  The route today was chill, but some things did come up.  First, my "spy" in the children's room told me last week that he would try to find out from the children's librarian, who is pals with MicroManager, why MicroManager was out for six weeks.  He didn't find out anything at first, but then late last night he texted me.  Way after I was already asleep.  This morning I read the text and he said that he overheard the children's librarian talking to one of her subordinates telling them that MicroManager broke a bone.  No news as to which bone was broken.  But it sounds plausible since she is going to be out for six weeks.  About the time it takes a bone to heal.  Good job, spy.  I was texting my buddy about this whole thing and mentioned how it's funny that MicroManager has this air about her that she thinks we're going to think less of her if we find out she broke a bone.  I followed that up by texting, "Like we could think any less of her as it is."  We've been talking a bit about this whole "world view" thing that MicroManager seems to live in.  Her view of the world is WAY different than my world view.  In her world everyone loves working with her.  No one wants to wring her neck, or wants her to retire.  In her world she's not a terrible person, nor is she terrible at her job.  Nor is she a terror to work for.  Yes, in her world everyone loves her and respects her.  Bullshit!  In the "real" world, the one I live in, she is not respected.  We only wish she would retire and never come back.  We all cheered internally when we found out she was not going to be at work for six weeks.  If only there was a way that six weeks would turn into six years.

The route was pretty uneventful today.  I was super tired by the time I stopped off at the Casa branch.  So I went inside and sat in a chair and took a 15 minute nap.  It sure helped.  I hate how sleepy I get at random times of the day.  I went to bed early the other day, and yet I was still as sleepy as when I stay up late.  Maybe my default setting is to just be sleepy all the time.

I left work, noticed that my cousin's kids were still at my house, and went to my local library to chill for a bit.  I watched a few videos, all the time waiting for that email that showed the outside camera, and my confirmation that the kids were out of the house.  It's sad that I can't just go home straight from work on a Friday.  If I did I would have to endure my cousin's kids.  After a long day at work I don't want to do that.  If they were my kids then I would have no choice.  But they aren't my kids, and I don't have to take it.

An explanation of the photo above.  I went on my Instagram account today and noticed that I had been tagged.  I clicked on the button and noticed that of the nine times I've been tagged on Instagram, seven of them is just a picture of booze.  It's funny that I really didn't start drinking until a few years ago.  I never drank during my 20's or even most of my 30's.  But now that I do, it's so yummy.

When I saw that my cousin's kids had gone home I packed up my stuff and left the library.  The drivers going home were typical of the drivers I see every day now.  In the morning on my way to work a guy driving a gigantic truck was going from one lane to another.  Mind you, it was a two lane street.  None of the other drivers were going fast enough for him.  On my way home some idiot was doing a three point turn nearly inside the intersection.  I mean come on.  What gives with these idiots?  No one has any personal responsibility any more. Everyone just does what they want to with impunity.  Mainly because they have all figured out that there really are no consequences to doing stupid little shit like what I see on the road every day.  I fucking hate people.

Sat Jan 24, Today was the San Marino library's open house.  On Monday it's going to be the anniversary of me starting work there.  Last year I helped Pseudo Supervisor with her stuff.  This year the boss put me on passport duty.  I hoped H with the passports, a little.  Mainly I became a roamer, doing whatever needed done.  The actual event was kinda uneventful.  Ha!  It was snow day at the park.  They trucked in a bunch of snow, and most people went there instead of the library.  Or some went there first and then went to the library.  It was cool.  I like being a roamer, being able to do whatever needs to be done.  When I got hungry I just went to the food trucks that were there for the event and got some food.  I ordered a cheesesteak sandwich, which wasn't all that good.  It was actually completely tasteless.  I poured mustard hoping to salvage it.  The only saving grace of my sandwich was that it filled my belly.  Wish I had more to report about the open house.  But like I said earlier, nothing really happened.  Still, it was a fun day.

After work I met my buddy at my place.  He wanted to tell me about his recent trip to Big Sur, and also get some yummy food.  The both of us have been touring restaurants looking for the best food.  We went to Brent's a while back to get a pastrami sandwich.  Greenblatt's was said to be among the best when it comes to pastrami in this city.  So we met up, and I drove us to Greenblatt's.  The place has an old school feel to it.  You can tell that place has been there for a long time.  I ordered a Reuben and my buddy ordered a regular Pastrami.  I thought it was a good sandwich, but it wasn't as good as Brent's.  For me Brent's is the best pastrami sandwich I've tasted.  That is not to say that Greenblatt's has a bad sandwich.  I thought it was damn good.  Brent's is just that good.  I would definitely go back.  The cole slaw was one of the best I've ever tasted.  The Arnold Palmer was good too.  Good iced tea.  So many places have iced tea that tastes as though it was strained through a dirty wash cloth.

After food we eat some Thrifty ice cream.  Following that we returned to my place for some booze, talk and pictures.  The pictures immediately made me want to go back up to Big Sur.  My buddy and I have been joking about traveling up there with our respective crushes.  I say crushes because I'm not sure what to call them.  But certainly, for at least my part, I don't have that kind of feeling right now.  I like Snow, and see her as potential something.  I've already asked here if it could be that I'm attaching myself to the idea of her because I don't have anyone on the radar, so I won't rehash it here.  What I want to say is that the thought of going up there with a special lady friend is awesome.  Snow should be that special lady friend.  She seems really nice.  Until then I'll make my planes to go up there on my own.  I'm still targeting Thanksgiving weekend.  But perhaps I might not want to wait that long.

Sun Jan 25, Nothing much to report from today.  Work was work.  It's just another day at the grind.  I did had this notion of going to Disneyland after work.  But, my uncle needed some help with his new iPhone, so I was forced to just go home after work.  Setting up his new phone took me ten minutes, tops.  He was off on his merry way soon after.  I ate some dinner, and a slice of yummy pie.

I then turned to trying to unclog the bathroom sink.  It's been clogged all week.  I bought something to snake it with a few months ago, but now that it doesn't drain at all I had to get to work on this problem.  I tried snaking it earlier in the week, with no luck.  It's still not unclogged.  I got tired and quit.  I think we might have to call in a plumber.  I tried something I saw online using baking soda and vinegar.  I double checked and I'm supposed to mix those two things with hot water.  I'm going to check on it later.  Perhaps I'll try the hot water thing later.

Mon Jan 26, I really didn't have anything to do this morning.  I had finished all my assignments.  There is still a pile of friend's memberships that I have to go through and process.  But aside from that I didn't have any assignments due today.  Which meant I could roam a little today.  I mainly stayed on the desk with my coworker Esther.  I talked to her about anything and everything.  Her father passed away, and today was the first day back at work.  I guess I just wanted to cheer her up.  Mission accomplished.  Esther and I play a virtual game of footsie, I feel.  I think she's interested, but she's married.  I would be intimate with her if there was a way, aside from the cheating thing.  But, whatever.  That's not going to happen.  I spent most of my shift on the reference desk with her.

I ate, drove to job two, and then took a nap in my car before work.  I was dead tired when I woke up from my nap.  A nap is supposed to refresh.  I was not refreshed, at all.  I was more tired than before I started my nap.  I needed the rest, because as soon as I got into work I saw that I was scheduled for four hours on the circulation desk.  Fucking four fours!!  It was torture, to say the least.

Tue Jan 27, My pseudo supervisor is out of town for two weeks.  She's going to New York with her husband to sell some art stuff that he makes.  Not that I had a lot of things to do anyway, but now I can actually catch up on some things I've been slow on because I've had so many assignments from pseudo and the boss.  Gotta make these couple of weeks count for something.  Speaking of pseudo supervisor, today she asked me how married I am to my time on the desk.  I do like my reference time.  I've come to terms with one shift having to be on a Sunday.  Since I don't want to be home anyway, any day at work is better than not being at work.  Working on Sundays only come into play when I want to go on a trip.  That won't be for a while.

Before arriving to job two, my coworker So-so warned me that Junior was talking smack about a mistake I made last night.  I apparently made a mistake in the amount of a receipt.  The patron had a collection fee as well as fines.  I thought that the receipt was just for the collection fee, and didn't add the fines to it.  I was prepared for the shit storm that normally arrives when someone makes a mistake like this.  But, since MicroManager is out, the shit storm missed me.  They calmly told me about my mistake and that was it.  As it should be.  No incrimination.  No witch hunt.  Just, hey, you made this mistake.  Done.

While I was checking in some books the IT manager saw me and yelled out my name from across circulation.  He seems like a good guy, but my default is to think that everyone there sucks.  He yells out again, just as TheDesire is walking into circulation with a problem dealing with some patron's fines.  IT guy yells out, you are a great guy.  I want to quote that, but I honestly can't remember if he called me a good guy or great guy, or even a special guy.  Something akin to all those words.  Maybe unique.  Anyway, you get the idea.  I yell back, "You're the only one here that notices that fact."  Moments later TheDesire turns to me with a smile and says, "Hey!"  I immediately thought about how I wished she thought I was special.  Special enough to go out with me and love me and such.  So when she said hey I thought that she was kinda saying, hey, I resemble that remark.  Later in the evening I wrote her an email saying, "By the way... I'll have you know that what I said was NOT a knock on you.  I was putting down those fools in circulation, thank you very much."  She later answered, "nay... knock on me?  i didn't even think that way.  I just was being in that moment and kinda teasing whoever was there.  but I do appreciate you sending me an e-mail."  Whew!

The picture above shows a pair of dummies.  The first is my coworker at Glendale.  A few weeks ago I was talking to him and he said something that made me wonder why I even bother talking to him.  I may or may not have written about it here, but I'll just say that since then I've kept my conversations to a minimum.  Just work related stuff.  Tonight I was scheduled to work the upstairs desk from 7pm to 8:15pm.  The picture above I took at 7:06.  My coworker was up there until 7:11pm.  He worked my time on the desk for over ten minutes.  Not that I care.  But it's silly that he was still sitting there chatting with Dish Network customer service.  At that point you call it a wash and you go back later.  Like I said, if he wants to work my shift while I do nothing I'm good with that.  The second half of the picture above is of some idiot driver that crawled through a stop light, noticed his/her error, and then stopped at the other crosswalk.  I've shown pictures of this before.  I don't understand why drivers are so idiotic in this city.  By the way, they waited on the other side of the street, in the intersection, until the light turned green.

Wed Jan 28, Class today was good.  The more I teach this class the more I think the recreation department should just let me teach the iPad portion of the class.  This part now feels kinda obsolete.  But, I gotta do what I gotta do.  My supervisor, the real one, asked me to start my shift a little earlier.  No problem.  No huge passport questions today, thankfully.  The clerks are starting to get it.  Pretty soon they will be more expert than me.

I spent a little part of my shift writing a note for Suzanna from Glendale.  She's this cute Armeanie girl that I see on Thursdays.  Last week she said, "You better send me a note."  Hence me taking a few minutes today to write her said note, and also making it something different.  I went online and found ways to fold the note.  I think it came out pretty good.  In the note I just wrote that I hope she was having a good day, and that we should go for tacos.  Hope it works.  Suzanna is cute.  Not as cute as say TheDesire, but she is cute.

I was let go off the desk a little earlier tonight, though I still stayed nearly to 5:30pm because I had some things I had to do.  I bolted over to TheGirl's for dinner.  When I arrived she wasn't at her place, but she told me to open the gate since she wasn't going to beat me, and because the gate is broken and anyone can get in.  I changed my pants, and saw the scale on TheGirl's floor.  I stepped on it and boom!  The damn thing said I was 208 pounds.  Fucking shit!  I do feel the pounds on me.  I didn't make a resolution to lose weight, but I think now is the time to get skinnier.  I need to eat better, drink less soda, and yes... unfortunately drink less booze.  *sob*

When I arrived home my aunt walks into my room to talk about the stopped up drain in the bathroom.  Then she tells me, "I know you've been drinking again."  Of course I never actually stopped, I just hid it better.  I think she found out from my glasses.  When I'm finished with them she will often see them in my room and even though there's no booze in them she can still smell the booze.  She goes extreme, like with my buddy Dane and his drugs.  She says that drinking will make us lose the house.  Ah, what?  If I'm an actual alcoholic, which I'm not, then I'm a functioning alcoholic.  I still go to work, still pay all my bills.  I don't even go out any more.  I just come home.  I told her that I don't tell her what to do, and she agreed that she won't tell me what to do.  She's just concerned, she says.  ARGH!  This house is less a home every day.  After she left my room I went right to the bottle.  I told her that talks like the one tonight is why I drink.  Nothing good comes from these talks.

Thu Jan 29, The route today was pretty easy.  I did have the added bonus of having to go to Burbank for a special pick-up, and also having to deal with delivering those damn instruments again.  Only I am so lucky.  Still, it was a light day otherwise.  I did take another hour and fifteen minutes more to finish up.  I took my time.  In the picture above I have the bins I took, along with a picture of Ru.  She wasn't feeling well.  Her body is so damn nice.  The photo above does NOT do her body justice.  She has this crazy nice butt.  It's so perfectly shaped.  She told me she wasn't feeling well.  Blood issues, she mentioned.  The third part of the picture shows yet another special delivery I had to make.. bells.  I don't know why these people can't just drive these things over from one branch to another.  They're going to the other branch, but they still want me and the other drivers to move books, miscellaneous items, from Adams to Pacific Park and vice versa.  It's some bullshit.

I mentioned last time that I was writing a note for Suzanna from work, a cute Armeanie girl.  I put the note in a interdepartmental mail envelope and gave it to her.  I hope she likes it.  If not, I'll know where I stand.  If yes, then I'll write her another note.
When I returned to home base to drop off the books and then deliver the instruments to one of the branches I got caught up helping a patron that was at the circulation desk.  I took her to a room where they have special needs computers.  We couldn't log her onto the computer, so I told her I would go get a reference librarian.  I was on my way back to the reference desk when I saw TheDesire close to the new books.  I asked her if she knew the password.  She rightfully pointed out that I could just start over the computer.  So, I went back to the room and restarted the computer.  While it loaded up the patron I was helping says to me, "TheDesire is cute."  The Universe threw my whole debacle with TheDesire in that moment.  Yes, she is cute.  Yes, she is absolutely wonderful.  No, you can't date her.  Today was a day when the Universe just wanted to remind me that TheDesire is the one I wanted, but I'll never have.

Having finished the route I drove to San Marino to retrieve my lunch pail, which I left yesterday in my race to get out of work.  When I arrived I found this huge printer on top of my desk.  Not sure how my desk became the go to place for this giant printer that was formally in the circulation office.  I couldn't help but wonder why the fuck this giant printer couldn't have been placed anywhere but on my desk.  Fucking bullshit!  I took to Facebook, knowing that my boss would see my comments there.  The following is the comments made by me and my FB friends.

Hopefully the printer will be gone by the time I return to work on Saturday.

Fri Jan 30, The route today promised to be wet, what with the weather forecasters saying that it would rain today.  Thankfully it didn't really rain during the route.  Just at the end of it.  Let me back up for a moment.  I woke up this morning.  My phone is my alarm clock, and when I hit snooze it buys me a little extra time.  But when I finally get up I check my emails and Instagram.  This morning the first picture on my Instagram was one of TheDesire and a fellow coworker, obviously out partying at a friend's birthday party.  Thank you Universe.  Yesterday's whole thing with the patron "reminding" me that TheDesire is cute was just another reminder that I'm a fool.

Back to the route.  It was pretty much uneventful except for some stupid shit.  When I arrived at Brand an old man drove up behind me a few moments after I parked the car.  He parked so askew that I had to take a picture of it.  People drive like idiots.  When I arrived at Pacific I found a LOVELY surprise for me.. three lovely bins full of "donations."  Really they're just discards that the library staff don't want to throw away, so they bundle them up and have me carry them to the trash can at Central.  This is the second day in a row with this shit.  And at Grandview today I picked up two more bins packed with books.  It's fucking bullshit.  When I reached my last stop, Adams, a trash truck was parked where I usually park.  Oh well, I don't need to park next to the door.  I can park a mile down the road.  After dropping off all the bins I then got those planks and A frames into the van in order to return them to the city lot.  By the time I left Central it was about ten minutes after 3pm.  I just knew the city lot was going to be closed when I arrived.  Sure enough, it was closed.  So I had to return to central, take out the planks and A frames, and place them back in the library.  I'll get to return them next week.  Yay!  Never a dull moment.

The saga of the printer on my desk Facebook comments continues.  These are the comments from today.

Sat Jan 31, I didn't have work today, but I went into work because being home means having to deal with my aunt.  For my sanity, if nothing else, I need to go to work today.  It turned out to be a busy work day, where I actually didn't get to finish what I set out to finish.  Oh well.  As soon as I arrived to work one of my coworkers told me she was sorry that I got so mad at the copier being placed on my desk.  I wasn't mad at her.  I didn't even know who it was that moved it onto my office, but I knew that the higher ups did it.  So, I moved the copier back to where it should be, in the circulation office.  My desk is back to being the cleanest desk in the building.

Because of the fact that I was at work on a day that I really had no business being there I got to help out on the princess story time that we have every year.  T, asked me for help.  I happened by Deanna at a moment when she needed to be at two places at once.  She asked me to take some photos of the event.  I was happy to.  The Rose parade queen and one of the princesses came to read to a select group of kids.  As a side note, I remember being no the reference desk a few weeks ago and having a mom tell me that she just HAD to have three tickets to the event, despite the fact that we were limited to giving out two tickets per library card.  That woman, and her kids, didn't even show up.  I fucking hate people.  The princesses were nice, and pretty.  T Disneybound dressed as the ice queen, but she looked so much nicer in her jeans and pink shirt.

In a quiet moment today I went on FB to check something and noticed that TheGirl's daughter posted a picture of her dog going to the vet's office.  In the picture there is a man with a goatee pictured.  I knew instantly it was TheChisel.  I checked on his FB and sure enough, two weeks ago TheGirl and TheChisel went hiking.  C'est la vie.  Obviously TheGirl still finds purpose in hanging out with him.  She used to always complain about him.  Then again, I read the emails where she used to complain about me.  I used to think that a real love was the best thing that came out of my relationship with TheGirl.  Today, as I got home and carried Chan into the house with me I realized that Chan is the best thing that came out of our relationship.  Which is actually a great thing.  That little stuffed monkey has brought me a lot of joy.  Hims might just be a stuffed monkey, but to me that toy is something special.  More special than most humans I encounter.  That's for sure.

Today is the tenth anniversary of my Grandmother's passing.  No one but me remembers the dates of when someone in the family died.  I guess it's just something I remember.  Ten years.  Wow!  It doesn't seem possible that so many years have passed.  In my life so many things have happened in those ten years.  I can't say it's all be fun and games over these past years.  Certainly I still miss my Grandmother.  I think I would cry every day if I thought about her today as much as in the first couple of years after she died.  Just below the surface I still miss her as much.  Writing this paragraph has made me think of her, and I miss her, and I'm in tears.  My Grandmother and my Mother will always be the best women I will ever know.  No woman will ever come close to holding a candle to them.  I know I'll never see them again, but if there was some way to see them both after so many years I would jump at the opportunity.  If only.

Lastly, the other day I was skimming a book as I checked in books at Glendale.  It's a book about art and inspiration.  On one of the pages it says, "Write the book you want to read."  I let that stew inside me.  The story of my life isn't one I need or want to read.  I've lived it.  The one I want to read is the one about beauty.  Like Muir's Yosemite, I want a book that celebrates the beauty I've experienced.  From Big Sur to TheDesire to a pastrami sandwich, I want to write about all those things.  I want to read about all those things.  If I ever finish this project it will only be because it's the one thing I can commit to completely.  Beauty is truth, and I mean to say what I have to say about it.