February passes by because it's a short month.  But this short month still packed the excitement.  Here's what happened in this short month.

Feb 1, I wanted to sleep-in this morning, but a few days ago I received an email saying that the United Artist theater downtown was going to have a tour.  I wanted to go, so I bought a ticket earlier this week and took myself down there.  No TheDesire, just me.  A day just for me.  The theater was really gorgeous inside and out.  I love these old movie palaces.  Despite the fact that many of them have been closed along Broadway, they have had the luck of not being destroyed or out and out demolished.  And thankfully many of them have been restored, or are being restored.  Too bad all of them aren't back to their former glory.  It's a slice of Los Angeles history that we haven't wiped away, and that needs to be remembered.  After the tour of the UA theater I went to the Last Bookstore.  I walked around, it was kinda neat.  I mean, it is JUST a bookstore.  After the bookstore visit, which wasn't more than ten minutes, I walked back to the car wondering if I should go to the Natural History museum as well today.  I decided against it, because I just wanted to rest today.  Waking up early threw a wrench into that idea, but at least I could go back home and chill.  I did.  I passed out at my desk.  I should just be asleep right now, but I'm doing this instead.
Which brings me to my thoughts about the other night with TheDesire.  If that woman was asking about us as a couple, as I suspect she was, then something about the vibes we were sending out said to her that TheDesire and I were together.  It was enough that it compelled her enough to mention it to her.  Of course, she could have been talking about something else entirely.  Like a million other things that at the end of the conversation, where I picked it up, could sound like she was talking about us.  Mainly because I'm hopeful.  I do hate to say that despite TheDesire turning me down I have some hope that the lady from Carmel was right about the new job and the new love.  I looked back at my entries and it's been about a year since I mentioned that I was developing a crush on TheDesire.  To be truthful, I've always had a bit of a crush on her.  She's beautiful, so that instantly attracted me to her.  Aside from that I've always had a crush on her, based on personality.  I think she's super nice, if not a little flaky.  But... to her credit, she is critical of herself, and wants to improve herself.  Like I do.  Well, I'll go on hoping that there still might be a chance to win her over.  If I JUST stick around, she might just figure this out one day.

Feb 2, Super Bowl Sunday was really quiet at work.  I told T that the library would get quiet after 2:30pm since the game stars a little after 3pm.  The game was anti-climatic.  It was downright boring, since it was a total blow-out.  The commercials weren't any better.  Guess that's how things are these days, high expectation, low return.

Feb 4, Nothing much to report today.  But I do have some thoughts that I wanted to spill here.  OK, the first thing is how work is going at San Marino.  It's going pretty well.  I don't have any set thing to do on Tuesday mornings, so I'm kinda left to my own devices for now.  Today I dealt with tax forms.  Not my idea of fun.  But I think I'm going to have an OK time at work on Tuesdays because I've downloaded some audiobook apps onto my new iPod.  Now I can listen to some books while I work.  Second, my coworker Deanna.  I think she's super nice, and sexy.  Today while in the copy room dealing with the tax forms she was there making copies.  I SO wanted to grab her and do I don't know what.  I'm extremely sexually attracted to her.  Maybe it's her nice hair, her tall stature, her cute butt, or who knows what.  I think she's just nice, and that makes her fucking hot.  There is zero chance of bedding her, but if there was she would be right up there on the list of women I would love to sleep with.  I guess it's because I'm a man and she's a woman I desire that I say that.  Because, at the end of the day a man still measures the worth of a woman by how much they want to fuck her.
TheGirl told me yesterday while I was hanging out with her after work that she had her daughter take TheChisel off her FB.  Then she lamented that she didn't like him.  There's an easy solution to the problem of TheChisel.. tell him to go fuck himself and never see him again.  But, TheGirl isn't going to do that any time soon.  It will be a year from now and I'll STILL be hearing about what an asshole TheChisel is.  Then again, she's said that about me, in different words.  I still remember when I was reading her emails and in one of them she said "Fuck Eric." I hate to say it, but if TheDesire would accept me I could set-up TheGirl for the biggest fall of her life.  The moment I walked out of her life forever.  I'm not someone who wants to hurt people.  But there is a bit of poetic justice that needs to be served to TheGirl.  She has hurt me more than any person I've ever known.  And yet here I am, still in her life.  She needs to be hurt like I've been hurt.  Just to serve some sort of Universal justice in the court of my opinion.  The reality is that that kind of justice won't ever happen.  But I don't care either way.

Feb 5, I love booze, that's a given.  Tonight's dinner with TheGirl involved a lot of booze on both of our parts.  And every time we have this much booze we have cathartic talks.  Tonight was no different.  She once again mentioned TheDesire, and how she still has feelings for me.  The new twist is that she said she regrets ever letting TheChisel into her life.  I wanted to throw that back in her face, but I didn't.  I don't want to be that way.  Anyway, we pretty much spilled the beans on nearly everything.  I'm still holding some things under my hat.  I'm not telling TheGirl that I still have hope that TheDesire will turn.  I still hope that my wish will come true, but I seriously have no hope that it will.  It was good to clear the air.
Work today was hectic.  I had my morning senior computer class today, which is still packed.  There were actually more people today than last week.  ARGH!  Then I ate a quick lunch and got on the reference desk.  My coworker, Stash, was sick and couldn't make it.  The boss asked me if I could stay until 5:30, and I said of course I could.  Just under a month and a half into the job I've been on the desk alone twice.  I'm hitting it out of the park, I hope.  All I know is that I'm taking everything as it comes.  In the past I would worry, and worry, and worry myself thinking of EVERY thing that could go wrong.  You know what?  Most of the time none of that happened.  Now, whatever happens will happen.
Lastly, why do I have a picture of a random woman on the top of this entry?  Because she's one of my coworkers.  I think she's super nice.  Yesterday in the copy room there was a moment when she was just standing there making copies.  I so wanted to fuck her at that moment.  She looked so sexy simply standing there.  I borrowed her key, which she wears on a lanyard, and the smell of her perfume was on the lanyard.  I took a whiff.  SO nice.  I have a little crush on her.

Feb 6, The route was pretty chill today.  It started raining near the end, but things didn't get too wet.  It was nice, mainly because it wasn't pouring.  At my last stop I ran into TheDesire.  She got my thank you not thanking her for letting me be a part of her musical program last week, and in its entirety.  Because I really have been there since nearly the start.  I played a small part, but significant.  I posted her thank you note to me on last month's Elsewhere.  Here is the pertinent part of my letter to her, which I put in the interdepartmental mail at work.

Thank you for helping me play a tiny part in what was a huge project for you.  Your hard work shows.  If the first event is an indication of future success then I know this will be one of the most successful programs at the library for a long time to come.

She sent me a text this morning that read, "Good morning, I got mail from EG and I got to say one if the nicest and eloquent once.. Thanks you sooo very much." Then I saw her today at my last stop.  I fucking hate to say it, but even though I have tried to not think of her, to delete the crush I have for her from my brain, it has only gotten stronger.  I mean I REALLY like her.  I still put up a fight for her because I hope that there is a chance for me somewhere in the future.
Which brings me to a related subject.  Tonight as I got out of the car to go the my local grocery store I thought about how I think this is my year to shine.  I think I've been killing it on the reference desk.  This promotion has allowed me to really bust out.  I'm showing these people my potential, and how they have someone quite special on their hands.  Someone that can handle anything thrown at him.  I thought about how I have to strive to be better, faster, smarter this year.  To that end I still want to show TheDesire that I'm a good catch.  That despite it all, she should give me a chance.  Everyone that's given me a chance has not been disappointed.  That's because to me that chance represents something special.  That chance means they have put their trust in me, and I don't want to break that trust.

Feb 7, I worked for six out of my eight hours on the circulation desk.  That kind of hours makes the time go really fast though.  Hence me not minding the long stint.  However, my feet were killing me by the end of the day.  I don't know if it's my wishful thinking that's fueling this seemingly Universal thing that so many of my coworkers feel compelled to mention TheDesire to me.  Better yet, they suggest that I ask her out.  I wonder how THAT would go?  Hmmm?  Still, another coworker asked me why I don't go ahead and ask her out.  I assumed that he didn't know, so I played along and said, "Do you think I should?"  Ha!  He said yes.  I mean I will say that I wish there was something to this and that she is ALSO getting people around her saying something akin to, "You know that Eric is a good guy - you should go out with him."  Of course THAT probably isn't going to happen.  Last night she did like one of my Instagram posts.  My wishful mind told me that I was one of her last thoughts today, since she liked it so late into the night.  It really doesn't mean anything.  She was checking her phone.  But then I look at the comment (pictured above) and my silly mind opens up the gates and runs away with the thought that perhaps might reconsider me.  Yeah, right!
After work TheGirl and I booked it down to Disneyland.  The traffic was pretty light, and we made it down to the park in about an hour.  We were eating a yummy combination of tomato basil soup and cheese sandwich by 8pm.  You know, I do love TheGirl despite the fact that she hurt me more than anyone ever has, or probably will.  I do like I time together, especially since I'm not sleeping with her.  It takes that element out of the equation.  Besides, I do like TheDesire.  I almost wrote love instead of like.  I have been able to move on and distance myself from TheGirl emotionally over the last year and a half.  We've been friends longer than we were in a relationship, and that's a testament to me, not her.  Because if I had walked away she wouldn't be in my life today.  Disneyland is always fun, but it has always been THAT much more fun with TheGirl.  I wanted to take TheDesire to Disneyland on our first "date," if we ever had one.  Guess I don't have to worry about that now.

Feb 8, I covered for a coworker on the children's reference desk.  It was kinda lonely there, seeing as the desk is a bit hidden.  The designers of the San Marino library must have been drinking, or something, because the library has some silly little design flaws that get magnified when all put together, and when you have to work there every day.  And I've been there six years, so I REALLY see them.  But one area I don't get to spend much time in is the children's area.  I used to go and talk to one of the former library assistants, because I was flirting with her.  But since then I haven't spent much time there.  I was a little afraid I wouldn't be able to handle the children's reference the way I do the adult side.  But, my crowning glory came when I young lady asked me for a book related to permanent markers, and just how permanent the ink really is.  My mind raced to figure out just where I could find that information in a book for her.  I thought that perhaps home economics books could help.  I was playing the stain angle.  It was a good one, because after a little searching I found a book that did have a remark about how permanent markers are pretty much permanent.  NICE!  I think I can handle anything now.  My cheery has definitely been popped.  I pulled that rabbit out of a hat.  Yay me!
After work I went with H to the mall to exchange a shirt she bought.  She ended up keeping it, because the larger size didn't fit her as well.  We finished up the night eating a pair of corn dogs.  She had a date.  My aunt wasn't home when I arrived home.  She is over at my Godmother's apartment.  I called her after coming home and not finding her here.  She staying another night.  She said she's coming home tomorrow.  My Godmother is going to be taken to the doctor on Monday.  I love her, but my Godmother is not well.  She suffers from memory loss.  Something that she has for a LONG time now.  Her common-law husband died something like ten years ago, maybe a few more, and she's never been the same since.  She's going to be ninety years old this year in August.  Her mind is really going though.  My aunt reports that it's a struggle for her to really remember things.  So sad.  I never want to get that way.
Lastly, TheGirl told me on Wednesday that her friend was pounding her about getting rid of her car.  She drives a Chevy Equinox.  Which is an OK car.  I liked driving it.  Despite the fact that it has a four cylinder engine is gets lousy gas milage.  Mainly because it's oversized and underpowered.  Also, TheGirl's commute consists of driving the 10 freeway, which is one of the busiest in the nation.  Her gas milage sucks because she travels at a crawl.  She's spending so much money on gasoline that it's not worth it for her to continue driving this car.  Today she texted me soon after I finished worked that she has traded in her car for a Cruze.  I guess I'll see it on Monday. I hope this move helps her, but picking another Chevy makes me cringe.

Feb 10, The computers were down today at work, so for the most part it was kind of quiet in the morning.  I know some people get all antsy if we're just sitting on the reference desk doing nothing.  Not me.  I know that there are times when I am working at 100% and go over my time by a few minutes.  THAT is made up in moments when I'm sitting at the desk doing nothing.  In short, it all evens out.  Also, these patrons seem to just sit there all day if we let them.  A little away from the computers will do them good.  While I was on the desk I received an email from the hotel I booked many months ago saying, "Get ready for your stay this weekend." Only thing was, it wasn't from where I planned to stay, it was from the first hotel I booked many months ago.  Before I booked two other rooms for this weekend.  So yeah, I quickly cancelled that other room.
I went home home after visiting TheGirl and found no food.  Thankfully I went to get some terrible fast food before I went home.  I had been burned this weekend and ended up eating some slop I had here at home.  No more of that shit.

Feb 12, Event though I don't work until 8pm like on Mondays and Tuesdays, Wednesdays are long days because of the fact that I now have my morning computer class.  That means I have to be at work from 10am until 4pm.  Not a super long day, but I usually arrive like at 9:30am, and typically don't leave until nearly 5pm.  I guess I just can't stay away from work.  I must love it, or something.  Today was pretty chill.  My class is still completely packed though.  There are more people in there than there are computers, and it makes me feel bad because some people aren't getting what they want out of the class.  Reference desk time is easy time.  I take the questions as they come, and each one has a challenge.  the challenge isn't always met, but I try my best.  One of the new girls at work is cute.  She's Latina, has a cute little body, and is generally nice to talk with.  Since they promoted me she's been more apt to talk to me.  Today she really chatted me up.  NICE!  Hate to be so crude, but I'd really like to sleep with her.
After work I was to meet TheGirl for our usual dinner.  But just as I was getting into my car she called me to say that she was stuck in traffic and wouldn't be home for nearly two hours.  I skipped lunch, so she told me that I should just go ahead and have something to eat and she would eat later.  This idea struck me as horrible.  I tried to think of an alternative.  The freeways headed West were wide open.  If she wanted, I told her, we could meet somewhere closer to Santa Monica.  We figured we'd meet at the Veggie Grill we've been going for years.  It was close enough to her that she could make it in about half an hour.  And with the traffic flowing I could make it there in about 3/4 of an hour.  Sure enough the plan worked out great.  TheGirl didn't have a two hour drive home, and I just went over the hill after dinner.  Easy for both of us.  We actually arrived at our respective homes at about the same time.  I had to make a milk run, which slowed me down.  A good idea saved the night.  Woo!  Maybe we should do this every Wednesday.
Lastly, today I texted TheDesire the picture at the start of this entry.  It's her favorite photo of mine.  Despite her rejecting my offer to go out I still hold out a little bit of hope that she will change her mind.  One way of doing that could be to win her over with my art.  It's happened with other artists, why not employ the same idea to this?  Her response was exactly what I needed.

Feb 13, Another good day on the route.  Hardly had any bins to move, as you can see from the picture above.  Only one bin for each branch.  After my easy route I still had to get some instruments up to Montrose for an event on Tuesday.  Why so early?  Because Monday is a holiday, and Friday the driver of the van complains too much about extra work.  So they have given me all the extra work.  I can't make it on Tuesday, because I work at central.  I told TheDesire this.  Really I just want to spend some time with her.  On the route today she was at my last stop.  Wow, did she look nice.  She wears this frumpiest outfits, but they look so nice on her.  I do notice that she wears a lot of black.  I've tried not to think about it, but I still like her.  It's difficult to think that if she could just put aside her ancient beliefs that we could be quite good together.  Oh well, no use in hoping for that which won't chance.  My jeans didn't grant me this wish.

Feb 14, Travel day is always so full of expectations.  Will I have a good time?  Will the days fly by?  I've made this trip up to Big Sur at least a half dozen times now.  Probably more.  It's become old hat.  Over to Santa Barbara, up the 154 until I hit the 101 up by Los Lobos, then on to SLO for some gas before heading up the coast.  Wind up the coast until we reach our destination, this time being the Big Sur River Inn.  TheGirl and I have stayed there before.  I really love it up there, especially the river running behind the main lodge.  This time TheGirl and I stopped off at Solvang for a little breakfast at a place called Paula's Pancake House.  TheGirl had NEVER been there.  In the million times she has visited Solvang this is the FIRST time she has come here.  The food was really good.  The couple next to us probably didn't know what to make of us.  I knew what to make of them.  New couple, traveling up to Solvang for a romantic Valentine's day weekend.  Good for them.  Our trip isn't meant to be romantic.  I stopped the car in the same place I stopped on my Thanksgiving trip to Carmel.  That trip was a bust.  I placed Chan on a tree stump and took some pictures of the monkey.  Upon arriving at the River Inn we settled in, but not too long.  The both of us were hungry.  I took a few pictures of the beautiful river, which was a little lower than the last time I was here.  We are experiencing a drought.  We headed up to Carmel and ate dinner at our favorite spot, our spot, Club Jalapeno.  The people even know us already.  I had two margaritas, so we had to walk off our drinks.  Carmel is a perfect town for a walk.  TheGirl ended up buying a Coach bag at the Coach store, that is likely going out of business.  The purse was over $400 normally.  They sold it to her for $89.  Plus a matching wallet for $49.  She was thinking it was crazy to buy the bag, but her bag was falling apart.  She needed a new bag, and $89 is a great price for a woman's bag.  I nearly forgot.  Just as we came out of the restaurant I asked TheGirl if she would indulge me and go into a hat store that I've wanted to visit for the longest time.  She and I encountered a young fellow who was quite charming, and obviously liked his job.  Or at least he sure did seem like he did.  He made our night by throwing a bunch of hats on our head.  Chandler.  TheGirl was so impressed by the encounter that she asked Chandler for his bosses contact information.  She wanted to call him and let him know that Chandler did a good job.  After that we went for our walk, bought the purse and wallet, then headed down to the inn.  Once there TheGirl mixed us up some yummy drinks.  As if we didn't already have enough to drink at the restaurant.  I passed out, and that's how the first day ended.  The day was packed with adventures.  I don't think we could have asked for a better travel day.  We had some good meals, had some yummy booze, and had a great time in Carmel.  What more could a monkey ask for?

Feb 15, I told TheGirl that day two I was going to wake up super early, like before dawn, and get out and take some photos.  I wanted to get out early for a number of factors.  One, avoid the crowds of people.  Two, hopefully get some really cool photos that I can only get at dawn or near sundown.  And three, because I needed to make up for the last trip being such a bust.  I woke up at 6am, showered, and got on the road to Garrapata state park, which is about half way up to Carmel.  I wanted to possibly try going to Big Sur beach, but I thought that the better shots would be had in Garrapata.  My photo journey took the better part of three hours.  I walked up the coastal path and photographed some wonderful locations.  Even without reviewing the photos I know that I have at least a few awesome photos.  This trip will certainly make for some good photos.
I went back to the inn and TheGirl was already ready to go.  We ate breakfast at the inn's restaurant.  I had a chicken fried steak, eggs, potatoes, and bacon.  Super yummy, and super hearty.  Gotta keep up my strength.  TheGirl and I talked about going to Point Lobos, renamed Point Monnkey by Chan.  But Big Sur is a place where a particular hike can get mobbed by people if you start exploring at noon, which is what time it was after we finished eating.  So, we skipped Point Monkey and headed up to the 17 mile drive.  TheGirl didn't want to go it last time, but this time I told her it would be fun, and she agreed.  We went around some of the stops we did a few trips back, but then also went and visited the Lone Cypress, and another place who's name escapes me.  Our last stop on the tour of 17 mile drive was the Tap Room, one of the many bars at The Lodge at Pebble Beach.  Again, booze is nice.  We had some potato skins to hold us over for our BIG reservation tonight at Dametra Cafe in Carmel.
Before dinner we headed up to Cannery row.  The last time we were here TheGirl went to one of those psychics, who told her some dumb fortune about taking three trips and meeting someone from her past.  Because of that she wanted to go again.  She went alright.  The girl gave her a terrible reading.  It was done in like ten minutes, and all she told her was that TheGirl would have a health concern.  Bullshit!  TheGirl came out of the reading with a bad taste in her mouth.  Which is what she needed to clean out the thoughts that the other lady knew what she was talking about.  These people just take your money for bullshit.  Following that BS we drove back down to Carmel for our dinner.  A couple of visits ago we went searching for some dinner in Carmel.  The Dametra Cafe had good reviews online, so we tried to go there.  However, it was PACKED, and the fellow at the door told us he would not be able to accommodate us tonight.  We walked away feeling down.  We ended up having a WONDERFUL meal at a place called Casanovas.  Still, our thoughts returned to Dametra when we thought of going up to Big Sur again.  TheGirl made reservations last week, knowing that there was no way we wanted to miss a night there.  The food was awesome, and the entertainment was full of joy.  It made our day and night.  One of the best nights I've had in Carmel and Big Sur.  We finished the night with a walk and some more drinks at our hotel.  Once again, I passed out.

Feb 16, Travel day back is bittersweet, because it's the day we have to go home.  Home is where the heart is, but certainly Big Sur is in my heart.  I don't have feelings that I'll move up here anymore.  However, if I did win the big lottery I would buy a little place to have so I could visit here all the time.  I'd let friends come up here too.  It would be nice.  We had our free breakfast at the hotel, the La Quinta we stayed at several trips back, and went down the highway towards Big Sur.  We stopped off at the Big Sur Lodge for me to buy some trinkets.  We made a couple of stops on the road, but really didn't make a major stop until Cambria, where I bought my buddy a pie.  After Cambria we only made a quick stop for gasoline and then went all way into Los Angeles.  For some reason the drive from Santa Barbara to home is the longest part of the journey.  It feels like it lasts longer than any other leg of the trip.  Probably because it's the end of the journey, and because there's always traffic, and because I'm tired.
The trip ranks up there with some of the best trips I've had to Big Sur.  TheGirl and I spoke a lot about us, and her relationship with TheChisel, her relationship with TheHusband, the random guys she's been going out with.  One in particular she mentioned, a guy she meet up in Montrose as she walks up to meet me at the library.  She told me she slept with him.  I should have known.  This is the sequence: she meet him, they hit it off, they went out, they slept together, he asked her out on a date, he stood her up.  Life lesson learned by TheGirl.  She told me that since that guy burned her that she hardened her heart even more, and that she doesn't intend on pursuing any more relationships.  We shall see if that holds.  She's still hanging out with TheChisel.  He's slowly being pushed out of her life.  But, as long as he has the bread to buy her dinner she will continue to see him.  Same goes for TheHusband.  TheGirl also told me that she wanted to be intimate with me on this trip, but at night I passed out both nights.  I had zero intention on being intimate with TheGirl, which is why the idea wasn't on my radar.  I thought about it before the trip, but dismissed it because I don't want to swim in the same pool as all these other men (TheChisel and TheHusband).  I know that when we were having the affair that started our relationship that I wasn't the only man she was sleeping with.  But at that time she wasn't the woman I loved.  She was just the woman I was having an affair with.  Now that so much history has passed I can't go back and get hurt again.  I can't go back like it was nothing.  I've moved on, and it's been for the better.  I'm still TheGirl's friend.  That won't chance.  Having been burned I'm never going to go back there in that way again.
One last thing.  Upon arriving at home I twisted my ankle.  I mean really bad.  It's gonna hurt in the morning.

Feb 17, My coworker T asked me to go with her to Disneyland today.  I told her I wanted to, but because my family was going to come over I was most likely not going to make it.  Sure enough, today came and I wanted to sleep in.  I told T last night that I was most likely going to sleep-in this morning.  Especially after the big trip.  T went to Disneyland without me.  The family, who said they were going to arrive at 2pm, didn't arrive until nearly 4pm.  Theoretically I could have gone to Disneyland in the morning and come back in time to meet up with my family.  But, I thought they were going to arrive at 2pm.  Which meant that I couldn't stay at Disneyland very late.  If I arrived at 9am, I would most likely not be able to stay past 12:30pm at the latest.  Because it would take me about twenty minutes to get to my car, and another forty minutes to drive back home.  And I wouldn't want to just arrive when they arrive.  I would want to chill a bit.  I'm not sure why they even came today.  Once they did arrive late they hardly interacted with me.  I was starving at 2pm, but I waited until nearly 3:30 to get some food.  Of course as soon as I came back from the California Chicken Cafe up the street with some food they call on the phone to say they're finally coming.  Fucking bullshit!  In short, they fucked me over.  I didn't go to Disneyland, nor did I get to eat on time.  Next time I'm going to take T's advice and shine the family on.
Nearly all of what I said it mute, since I twisted my ankle last night and it hurt like a bastard all day today.  For sure I wouldn't have had a good time limping around Disneyland.  Wait, check that.  I would have had a good time limping around Disneyland.  Also, it's nice to be seen with a human girl.  T is cute.  I'm certainly not saying I wouldn't sleep with her.  But as her own sister has said to me, we're just not compatible.  That statement is arbitrary at best.  I have thought of just planting one on T.  It would be good for the both of us.  For me because it's been so long.  For her.. ah.. it would be good for me.  No, it's just that I know I'm a catch, but I'm pretty sure that we aren't compatible.  Still, when it comes to sex I'm pretty much compatible with 88% of all women.  Ha!  I've been drinking, so that number is completely made up.

Feb 18, Back to the grind today, after a long weekend.  Work wasn't that hard today.  I don't work the desk on Tuesdays, so I'm pretty much left to my own devices on Tuesdays.  I find work to do.  There's always work to do.  I texted TheDesire after being silent all weekend with her.  I sent her the picture above, of Morro Bay in the fog.  She sent me back a text saying that the photo, "hurts," her spirit.  That's pretty powerful of a reaction.  I DO wish I could convince her to let me date her.  After a few weeks of just accepting her rejecting me I've gone back to having a crush on her.  It's grown, not lessened in that time, I've come to realize.  I look at her and I see something nice in her eyes.  Something that tells me I have won her over, but that also says she can't accept me because of so many reasons.  Not just the Armenian thing, but also the history with TheGirl, how everyone at work would react, and how her family would react more than anything.  I know I'm seeing all our interactions through rose colored glasses, but I really think that TheDesire likes me.  Perhaps more now than before.  Again, it's all wishful thinking.  If I don't stop this crush I'm going to fall in love with her from afar and once again it will be an unrequited love.

Feb 19, Class was hectic today.  My students are getting a little rowdy.  I'm getting a little tired of doing this computer class thing.  It feels to me like I'm not getting through to these people.  That frustration, coupled with the hours are just becoming a burden overall.  This makes me want to stop doing this computer class thing.  In the pastI liked doing it, because it afforded me a few extra bucks in my pocket.  But the weight of the class is getting to me, and that's more important than money.
Dinner with TheGirl was nice tonight.  She served me a nice chicken breast from Trader Joe's.  I really should buy more stuff there, they have yummy pre-made food.  We had a nice amount of wine, and good conversation.

Feb 20, Last week I had it easy on the delivery route.  This week made up for last week.  I not only had to deliver a good number of books, I also had to pick up and deliver the musical instruments.  In addition to that I was given a petty cash check to cash, and that became a whole drama at the treasurer's office.  I usually finish at 3pm, but today I finished at 3:45pm.

Feb 21, Work was the usual friday stuff.  The last hour I was supposed to help one of my coworkers set up some chairs for next week's big author event.  But he's pretty speedy, and he got the job done by himself early in the day.  I was supposed to shelve books the last hour.  However, TheGirl asked if I wanted to do go Disneyland tonight.  I don't pass up many chances to go to Disneyland.  I agreed, asked the supervisor if I could leave an hour early, and boom, went down to Disneyland on a random Friday night.  Fucking good times.  Ate so much.  TheGirl and I seem to always bring the conversation of our relationship.  She confirmed to me that she has cut off TheChisel sexually in hopes that he GETS THE POINT and moves back North.  I told her, "Yeah right!  He seems stubborn to me, and won't move an inch even if you told him it was over." She agreed, but also disagreed by saying that he would, "Get the hint eventually." Sure.  Still, Disneyland was great.  Rode the monorail, went on Haunted Mansion, and I ate popcorn and a Dole whip.  Been TOO long since I've had a Dole whip.  It was so creamy and yummy.  Almost as if they improved it since the last time I've had it.  Maybe.  The night ended late.  I didn't get home until 2am.  I was pretty dang sleepy on my way home.  I was falling asleep on the road.  But I used my tricks to stay focused on the road, even if my body was giving out.

Feb 22, oday was a jammed packed day.  I slept-in until 11am.  I wanted to get my room nice and tidy, but there's never enough time to do such things.  I had all the pieces ready for my entry to be turned in, but I hadn't assembled the pieces.  I quickly mounted the print onto a board, and booked it to Burbank.  It's funny how small the library world is.  I know that one of the librarians at San Marino works at the Burbank library as well, and sure enough there she was at the reference desk.  I went right to her and turned in my photo.  Woo!  I booked it back to the Valley to get some stuff at Target, which I have to say is a pretty depressing place.  All the employees look to be so down and surly.  I just call them all Surly Duffs.  I rushed home because my buddy was coming over to pick up his pie, that I bought him last week from Linn's in Cambria.  We chatted until 1am.  We had some good catching up to do, and also I told him the politics of the new job.  I think he'll just just great, but I know his trepidation comes from this whole thing being new.

Feb 23, Today it was chill at work.  Not that many questions to answer today, which is how I like it.  After work I booked it to Disneyland with my co-workers to check out the park during Dapper Day.  It's a day that people decide to dress up really nice while at the park.  The first time I experienced this I thought it was a neat idea.  But I think it's run its course.  Most of the men just wear a dress shirt with suspenders.  I never seen so many suspenders.  I refuse to participate in such nonsense.  I promised myself that I would be out no later than 11:30pm.  Of course that idea went out the window as soon as drinks were introduced into the mix.  We ended up leaving Trader Sam's at nearly 1am.  I didn't get home until 2am.

Feb 25, Not much to report from San Marino today.  Glendale, on the other hand is something else.  My buddy Z started work today at Glendale.  I saw that they were showing him the ropes.  We talked on the phone, and he pretty much confirmed everything we spoke of last week when he came over to pick up his pie.  I think he'll fit in and like it at the library.  Of course for him it's a stepping stone move.  For me, well, for me I'm pretty much stuck there.  My supervisor tells me that perhaps as soon as this Thursday I'm to show my buddy the route.  I truly believe that they have plans of letting one of the other drives go.  Or at least cutting some of his hours.  Time will tell.

Feb 26, Work was easy at San Marino.  Well, I'm pretty tired of this computer class gig.  I want to teach something different.  I might have to ask the people at the recreation department if I could maybe teach something else, like teach about the iPad.  Tonight is the traditional dinner with TheGirl.  She has said many times before that nothing short of death would keep her from our Wednesday dinners.  She brought up TheChisel, and said that she cut him off sexually.  In other words, she's not sleeping with him any more.  I think that's just another way of getting into my pants again.  Saying that she cut him off means that I should take her back again.  Not really interested.  All I know is that I knew this day was going to come.  However, the real day to celebrate is when TheChisel moves back North.  That guy was a super dope to move down here for TheGirl.  I wouldn't do that.  Knowing what I know based on what TheGirl has told me, TheChisel will stick around until she says to leave.  Even then he might plea, but TheGirl has told me that she doesn't like him any more.  She wants him out of her life.  Of course I always point out that the easiest solution to all this is to tell him she never wants to see him again.  In other news, TheGirl mentioned to me tonight that TheHusband might be fired soon.  His DUI and just being a jerk in general have caused his bosses to make him track where he is on his work day.  In short, TheGirl thinks, they want to toss him with proper cause.  Like finding him sleeping on the job and such.

Feb 27, I worked my entire shift today and then had three hours off to rest and have dinner in order to work from 6pm to 10pm tonight.  The route was the same as it usually is these days, no surprises and a bunch of books.  It's become old hat.  The twist will come next week when I take my buddy around on the route.  I've told him SO much about all these people and now he gets to place faces on all these people.
Back to tonight, dinner was yummy tonight, and not just because of the yummy booze.  The burger I had was quite nice.  Then came my rest and then the event.  I took an hour long nap in my car.  My buddy woke me up as he was taking his break.  I showed up at 6 to get cracking, but the chairs were all out, and we pretty much just stood around doing nothing until about 8:30pm.  I got to be a line wrangler.  And then came the chairs.  We all rushed to work, probably since we were bored with just standing around.  We busted our asses getting those chairs up and out of the way.  My buddy later commented that we should have taken our time, since they let us go at 9:30 instead of 10pm.  He missed out on making those couple of extra bucks.  I think all of us just wanted to get home.
Before the event ended I flirted with TheDesire as best I could.  I later asked my buddy if he saw "something there," between TheDesire and me.  He didn't say either way.  It's hard to gauge something like that, I know.  Of course I HOPE THAT he does see something.  That everyone sees something.  The only thing that matters is that TheDesire feels something.  Everything else is mute.  I went upstairs at one point to the "catwalk" as I call it.  It overlooks the whole library.  Up there was the guy who used to be TheDesire's fiance.  Bad stuff happened, they never married.  He was checking out all the girls at the event.  Armenian girls are hot as a general rule.  They often have great bodies, nice butts.  My homeless buddy Dane always mentions how their bad feature is their nose, but I don't mind.  Anyway, TheDesire's former fiance was checking out the girls.  He turns to me and says, "Do you think it's bad that I'm married and I'm checking out the girls?"  I told him, "You're not dead," and left it at that.  That was my day, a twelve hour day at work.  Longest day, ever.  Ha! 

Feb 28, I had today off!  I pretty much just sat around the house.  I did have to replace the faucet in the bathroom that's been leaking the last couple of days.  It was a pretty easy job until that stupid stopper gave me problems.  It took me longer to get that done that the entire faucet took to replace.  It was super nice to have today off.  I avoided all the traffic problems going to work.  My buddy and TheGirl both texted me to tell me that the traffic was a bear.  I believe it.  Tomorrow is a big day.  I'm going to see a movie with TheDesire.  It's the first time we've hung out since that day I asked her out.  I wish that in that time she has changed her mind a little about being with me.  I know the pull of tradition is strong, and I have a 90 degree hill to climb.  But, nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it.  I know I retreated, but I haven't given up on this.  Not by a mile.  This is my style.  I fail, then lick my wounds and try again.
One last thing about this.  In a drunken stupor I bought a framed version of "Life's Elergy" so that I would give it to TheDesire for her birthday.  Once I sobered up I thought about how dumb that really was.  But, it was done.  I now have the framed photo in my room.  I want to put it up, but I haven't.  Just as I wrote the last few lines in the previous paragraph I thought that I SHOULD give her that photo.  She is the person that named it.  She is the person that admires it the most.  She is the person I think deserves to have it.  I'm definitely going to give it to her.