This month has been pretty good, and full of things going on, and trips, and good times.  I updated IMAGE_171 with a bunch of new photos from my recent trip to Big Sur in the ThingsEyeSee section, as well as the Four section.  And also as well as the EyePhone section.  So yeah, lots of pictures, lots of adventures.  It's the April round-up!

April 1, I've been working at one of the branches of my job for about a year.  In that time I haven't had any problems, up until about a month ago.  My boss there talked to me about something or other, I honestly can't remember.  Then nothing since then.  Tonight my boss told me that she heard me say the word "jackass," and that I shouldn't use that kind of language.  Jackass may sound like a "bad" word, but I don't think it rises to the level of say bullshit, for example.  The word means stupid person.  I don't think calling someone stupid merits having a "private" talk.  I mean come on!  After my talk with the boss I just shut down.  I shut up and and didn't say a word after that.  It's amazing how any good feeling are so easily downed by a moment that lasts only a few minutes.  I don't treat work like home, but there are times that I want to by instinct.  Only because I spend so much time there.  But I have to remember not to EVER feel that way towards a job.  It's not my home, despite spending more time there than at home.  Upon getting home I started looking for jobs in Big Sur.  It's a pipe dream, but I really want this year to be the last I spend at my twin library jobs.  I've had enough of this bullshit.

April 3, I went over to KM's tonight, hoping to get into her pants.  But then about an hour into my visit her daughter and her daughter's friend came home.  After that it was just cock-block central.  I seem to always be the only guy in the room these days.  Tonight was no different.  KM's daughter's friend was cute.  My buddy, I told him later, would have liked her.  I liked her.  Pretty young thing with nice boobs and a decent body.  KM's daughter's friends are always so cute.  Damn shame she never tried to fix me up with any of them.  We had dinner, then I went home.  Blah!

Winchell's donuts, named after Water Winchell?

April 5, I've been flirting with a woman at work for the last few weeks.  Ever since she started working there.  I can't say she's the prettiest girl in the world.  Matter of fact, she doesn't hold a candle to TheGirl in the looks department.  But she's nice, and there's a sultriness that intrigues me.  So, I've flirted.  Today she told me, after we flirted and she received a phone call, that she is involved in an abusive relationship.  Of course she doesn't leave this relationship, because that would be too easy.  Thankfully that works out for me, because it means I can flirt and nothing will come of it.  Her refusal to leave this man is saving me a lot of grief in the long run.  It's saving me having to deal with all her baggage.  So I'm OK with how the situation is... for now.  If she decides to pursue something with me I'm very likely going to balk.  Having had to deal with TheGirl's baggage I don't really want to deal with someone with more baggage.  TheGirl's baggage was enough, and she barely had a carry-on with her.
After work I hung out with GinaO.  We went to get some tamales for my family.  I was recommended a place in Glassell Park, just south of Glendale.  When GinaO and I got there it was closed.  Turns out they close at 6pm.  So I went to my back-up, King Taco in Pasadena.  GinaO and I had some dinner, talked, then went driving around Hollywood.  We ended up in a donut shop, talking again.  It was getting late so I dropped GinaO at home and drove home.  I dropped like a lead weight when I got home.

The newly renovated Japanese garden at the Huntington - looks beautiful

April 6, You might say that I'm 0 for 3 this week.  Thursday night my co-worker that I thought was gonna wait for me after work and let me sleep with her went straight to her car and bolted without saying a word.  Friday the co-worker that I've been flirting with at my Glendale job told me that she's stuck in an abusive relationship.  Our flirting can't go anywhere because of that.  Mainly because having an affair is not a good idea... again.  Today I went over to my friend KM's place to have some drinks.  I was pretty sure that we were going to sleep together.  But when she said she thought of me like a brother I knew it was a lost cause.  Just great.
Before getting shoot down in the evening the family and I went to the Huntington.  The gardens are large, and it's difficult enough to see everything, let alone traveling with kids.  Traveling with my cousin's three girls is worse than traveling with an army.  We hardly got to see anything.  Good thing I still have my free passes.  I did get a ton of great photos though.

Everyone celebrating everyone's birthdays, past and present

April 7, The family came over today to celebrate my aunt's birthday, which is on Tuesday, and also celebrate everyone's birthday that we missed.  We did this because by this time next week they will be home in Mexico, and I'll be driving back from Big Sur.  Right now as I catch up with my journaling they are talking in the other room about domestic problems.  It's so funny how I'm always in my room when my family talks about this stuff.  I'm SO glad I'm not married.

April 9, I fell asleep during harassment training today.  SO boring!

April 10, I started my senior computer class today.  I had the most amount of students I've had, ten.  My shift afterwards was nuts.  It was non-stop, go here, go there.  I work with an older gentleman on Wednesdays.  Most days he chugs along at a good clip, checking in books, which is something I don't like doing.  So that's cool.  But when it comes to the details I have to bail him out of most situations.  Today the office manager sent me to city hall to get the mail because she doesn't trust that my co-worker can do it.  Before I left I had to get the passports done.  After all that we got slammed with patrons.  I didn't even get a break.  Fuck this shit!  Ever since my old boss left the place has been scrambling to cover her hours.  City hall isn't going to hire anyone, to save that money, but that's just going to make all those who stayed struggle to keep up.
After work my two aunts and my uncle and I went to a local Disney store to buy some things that we were asked to buy for my cousin in Mexico.  We didn't find exactly what he wanted, but we got some good stuff.
My uncle isn't well, and a times he feels a little dizzy.  Tonight while on our way back to the car my aunt that I live with tells me that my uncle isn't feeling well.  She tells me and then looks at me like there's something I can do about the situation.  What am I supposed to do?  Wave my wand and make him feel better?  I would if I could, but this sort of thing is from years of a certain kind of living.  Nothing that we do now will help.

April 11, Work today was SUPER chill.  I was so head of schedule that I was able to take a nice long nap during my break.  It helped me feel refreshed and ready for the rest of my route, which went off without a hitch.  Tomorrow is the trip to Big Sur.  I can't believe that these past three months waiting have flown by at such a crazy fast pace.  It feels like yesterday that I was saying it was ninety days until the big trip.  And now the countdown is less than one day.  As I write this the count is ten hours.  Dang, I better get some sleep.

Salmon Creek waterfall

April 12, Driving up to Big Sur was a bit routine this morning.  In fact it didn't feel like I drove for three hours before reaching our first stop, the Madonna Inn, for breakfast.  The food was standard fare, though I was going to order a sandwich and was told they don't serve lunch until 11am.  Really?  we continued on until we reached our first Big Sur destination, Salmon Creek.  We started on the trail and reached a fork in the road.  I deferred to TheGirl's experience and we went right as the sign pointed to that way being the trail.  The climb wore me out, since I'm out of shape.  We reached a clearing high on the hill where TheGirl spotted a rattle snake.  She refused to go on, even though I suggested I throw a rock at the snake.  Probably not a good idea, but my attitude was "push on."  We returned to the sign and went left and quickly found ourselves in front of this HUGE waterfall.  Easily sixty feet high, and gorgeous as can be.  Lesson learned by TheGirl, explore and follow me.  Following Salmon creek we booked it up to our lodge, the Big Sur River Inn.  We settled in, changed our clothes and drove up to Carmel for dinner at a Mexican restaurant that I scooped out before the trip.  The food was great, and so was the booze.  We walked around Carmel and then turned in for the night.  A good half day in Big Sur accomplished thanks to that snake that kept us from going the wrong way.

Twin waterfall at Limekiln

April 13, Day two promised to be as grand as day one, and it was.  We got ourselves ready, ate breakfast at the inn's restaurant.  Mine consisted of a breakfast sandwich with eggs, bacon, tomato, lettuce, and cheese.  It was called Ben's breakfast sandwich.  Yummy.  TheGirl ate a yummy looking omelet.  Both of our orders came with really good home fries.  Once fed we made our way down to Limekiln.  The trek up to the kilns is stunning.  Larger in scale than any of the hikes I've been on here in Big Sur.  Our first stop was the kilns.  Four huge kilns just sit in what seems the most random place in the world.  The forest means to take them over.  The giant kilns are still intact, but plants are growing out of one, and another has a whole tree growing out of the top.  Quite cool.  After the kiln followed the waterfall.  After a short trek we came upon this stunning twin waterfall.  The water was spit at the top, making two streams for the water to fall from.  It made for a awesome view.  Following Limekiln the itinerary was wide open.  TheGirl decided that she wanted to visit Point Lobos, a place she had seen the day before as we drove up to Carmel.  Point Lobos was a great choice.  The formations of the shore make for some stunning views.  We took a ton of pictures up at Point Lobos.  Dinner was up in Carmel again at a burger joint called 400.  I've been wanting to go there since the first time I came up to Carmel.  The burgers we had were good, and so where the garlic fries and beer battered onion rings.  Not the meal we had the previous night, but good.  We drove back to the inn, hoping to get a little booze in us and turn in.  Well, the only thing that was open was this little pub that only served beer and a super limited selection of wines.  We could have driven up the road, but I wanted to get nice and sloshed.  Oh well, we had wine and then went to sleep.

The happy monkey, Chandaka, posing for a picture

April 14, Today was travel day, so TheGirl and I didn't get to see any sights on the drive back.  We had a late start because TheGirl wanted to sleep in a bit.  I understand that, but staying longer meant arriving home later.  As it was we arrived just a little after 7pm.  First thing was eating a little breakfast at the inn's restaurant.  Following that we jumped into my car and drove down.  We made a couple of short stops, mainly Julia Pfieffer falls, to take some pictures.  But we couldn't really linger since the drive was long, and takes most of the day to return if we stop at every place that looks inviting.  We did stop at the falls, and then in Cayucos for some cookies and a bathroom break.  Following our stop in Cayucos we booked it down the coast, not stopping again until we arrived back home at my house.
TheGirl and I had a great time (as expected).  We talked a lot about what has been happening in her life, and why she can't commit to one man.  I think we cleared up a lot of things as well.  But then other things also came out.  Like the fact that she's sleeping with a new guy.  She invited me to make a pass at her if I wanted to sleep with her.  I thought about it, but couple my tired body at the end of each day, and my hesitation to return to the scene of the crime, so to speak, prevented me from making that move.  I love TheGirl, and probably always will.  If I knew she would be true I would take her back, despite all the bullshit she has put me through.  However, I KNOW she can't be true.  I know she will break my heart again if I allow myself to feel feelings for her again.  So it's best to just keep our relationship on a friendship level.  I may still yet want to sleep with her.  Nevertheless, I won't make the mistake of falling in love with her again.  Although, there is the possibility that I'm still in love with her.  Nah, those feelings are definitely gone now.  The residual love that I felt for her will always be there.  But I'm a couple of years wiser now, and the lessons learned over the last two years were hard lessons to learn.  I won't forget them.
The trip definitely defined a new aspect of our friendship.  I'm not like any other man she has met, according to her.  I surprise her at every turn because I'm not motivated by the things other men are motivated by... sex, money, sex, and more sex.  Take nothing away from sex, I do love how it feels.  Yet, I'm not relentless in my pursuit of sex, like 99.9% of the men TheGirl has been with.  So that makes me unique.

April 15, Today sucked major dick.  I'm back to work, which felt like a total burden on my soul.  I couldn't concentrate on the moment, since my mind was still in Big Sur.  I KNEW that I would have an emotional letdown after this trip.  TheGirl spoke about our next trip on our way back.  I DEFINITELY want to return to Big Sur sooner than later.  We're saying perhaps August.  Which gives me some time to save some money, but more importantly gives me something to look forward to.  Work today was meh.  At my Glendale job I had the burden of not wanting to be back at work, and also the burden of having the little talk with the boss over my head.  I tried to avoid talking to her.  But when I did talk to her I was sweet but also turse.  I guess I'm just mad that she would take me aside to talk to me about a word that may sound bad but really just means stupid person.  ARGH, today people just aggravated me to no end.  I knew I should have taken the day off today.

April 18, Super long day today.  First there was Glendale job, that asked me to come in an hour early because I had to make deliveries to various schools.  Then I had to head off to job two to film an event.  This one was actually good, since the speaker had a good projecting voice, and he knew what he wanted to say.  Then there was dinner with the co-workers after work.  That was nice, because it was like old times when we still had dinner club.  I didn't get home until 1am.  Which was fine since I get to start work at noon tomorrow.

A nice calm event at the library

April 20, My Glendale job asked me to work an event today.  Four hours to set-up a few chairs, stand around, and then chill, is my idea of how to work.  But today wasn't going to be that easy, though I can't say it was hard.  The set-up was way easy, but then the violinist broke one of his strings, and his wife was not sure how to get to the music store that was literally around the corner.  So I volunteered to drive her down to the music shop and back.  It was not tense for me to drive down there, but the concert was starting shortly, and there was no back-up string for the string that he replaced.  The violinist had a spare string, but it was old and he wasn't sure that he would do if THAT string broke.  Thankfully we made it back in time to start the concert and have a string in reserve.  All in a day's work for me.

Iron Man!

April 21, Today TheGirl and I went to Disneyland for a few hours.  It was her idea, one that she mentioned at the beginning of last week.  She spent yesterday with TheChisel, but booted him out the door by noon today in order to go with me to Disneyland to buy her an annual pass, which she did so we can go to Disneyland more often... Like we used to.  It all should come off as strange, because it is.  She doesn't want to be in a relationship, she just wants to have fun.  And today she told me that she is happy.  Truly happy.  I was stunned that she said that, but it makes sense since she has always wanted her freedom, and now for the first time in her life she has it on her terms.  Those terms do not favor a relationship with me, or TheChisel, or anyone else.  But she is happy, and that does make me happy.  A long time ago she said that her ex-husband told her that she could never be happy.  Her telling me that she is happy now defies his statement.  She wants the advantages of a relationship.
As for me, I guess I have what I want at the moment.  I only sorta want to pursue a relationship.  I put my profile on a dating site, but have really not done anything besides that.  There are a couple of girls on my radar, but nothing do compelling that it has caused me to make my move.  Not that I ever really make my move.

vegetarian sopes

April 24, Nothing to update from the last few days.  Work has been the same.  Tonight TheGirl and I went to a vegetarian Mexican restaurant named Cinnamon in Highland Park.  The food was good, but it will probably be our last meal there.  How come?  Because the business is closing.  I can see why, by the way our waiter waited on us.  The guy took a million years to take our order.  When he did he did it without taking notes, which is never a good sign.  Nearly every time a waiter doesn't use a pad to take the order they miss something.  This time was the same.  I ordered sopes and fries.  Well, I didn't get my fries.  Oh well.  And I didn't get an iced tea refill.  Who the hell doesn't refill iced tea.  The lady at the counter told us that the restaurant just isn't doing good business, because Mexicans don't want to eat vegetarian food.  It's a shame, because the food is good.  Nothing super though.  The guacamole was really good.  The sopes I had were good.  The salsa needed a little more kick, however.  But a fine meal, except for our dopey waiter.

Ripplewood, the destination for Big Sur: trip four

April 25, As early as the drive back from Big Sur, TheGirl and I were already talking about when we would take our next trip up to the Sur.  Well, today I booked us a cabin at the Ripplewood resort for July 12 through July 15.  This is going to be not just one full day at Big Sur, but two full days, and two travel days.  FINALLY we'll have the time to really explore farther afield.  TheGirl wants to explore Monterey, and so do I.  Specifically I want to explore Pacific Shores and Monterey.  I wonder if she's gonna want to go to the aquarium.  On top of this trip I still want to go up to San Francisco at the beginning of June to visit my friend up there.  But mostly to explore the California Academy of Sciences.  As of today Big Sur trip four is seventy-seven days away. 
And we come to the co-worker I have a crush on.  I know I mention a lot of co-workers here that I like, but this one is the top one.  The one I REALLY have a crush on and would REALLY like it if she liked me back.  Is there a chance she likes me?  Maybe a tiny little, its bitsy chance she likes me back.  Today she talked to me and her body language told me that she is at least considering me in her mind.  Her body language told me she was interested in SOME way.  I don't want to believe that it's in a romantic way, but at the same time my instincts tell me different.  My instincts are never wrong.  That little voice inside me is never wrong.  I very often ignore that voice, but it's not wrong.  So what do I do with this information?  She never wants to hang out with me when I ask her to possibly hang.  She knows that I like her, but does her not accepting my invitations say that she is not interested, or is interested?  I think it's that she is interested, but she won't act upon it.  It really is ashamed, because I would love her with all my heart.  I loved TheGirl with all my heart.  I would love AE more, I just know it.  I feel that I would pour my whole soul into a relationship with her, if only she gave me a chance.

Of course a girl you like isn't going to wait around for you to make up your mind

April 28, Today was a pretty uneventful day... and yet it wasn't.  I had today off after working yesterday.  I decided to be productive today and get some little things done that I haven't been able to get to because I've been busy and lazy.  First was to clean and vacuum my car.  The poor thing is showing its age since it's dusty and full of crumbs.  My energy was sapped by the heat, but the car is now clean.  While I was doing that my co-worker HO was texting me about how she had basically broken up with her boyfriend.  They have been having trouble lately, but it's the story of her relationship with this guy.  Ever since I can remember HO has been telling me how the guy thinks that she requires too much of his time.  A few weeks ago HO told me that he told her he wanted more space.  That's NEVER a good sign.  Which makes me wonder if I'll ever be in a stable, loving relationship ever in my life.  My time with TheGirl taught me some good lessons, but it also taught me some bad ones.  Like people cheat... a lot.  I facilitated TheGirl's cheating, though I never cheated on her.  They say that when you're in an affair with someone that you shouldn't be surprised when they cheat on you as well.  Sure enough, my misbegotten relationship with TheGirl was doomed from the start because of the circumstances of its beginning.
Anyway, I finished my chores and am now writing this.  KM called me today and told me that she was doing well.  I drunk texted her last night to ask her if she wanted to go to San Francisco next month.  I have a want to go for a couple of reasons.  One, just to get away.  Two, to visit my friend from CSUN.  We shall see if I actually pull the trigger and go.  Speaking of my KM, a few weeks ago she moved back to Los Angeles saying that she wanted to kill herself before her next birthday, which is in the middle of May.  Today and she told me that things are looking up enough that she doesn't feel like killing herself any more.  I did guess that she wouldn't go through with it, which is a good thing.
Lastly, a few months ago I mentioned a girl that came into the library that was really cute.  I should have not been a dummy and asked her out right there and then.  Anyway, I looked her up thanks to the email address I used to transfer some files to the work computers.  I checked on her Instagram profile today, and despite it being private I could see (pictured above) that she has a boyfriend.  Months ago I don't know that she wasn't seeing this guy.  What I do know is that her profile picture was solo, and not with Douchey McDouche.  Of course back then I wanted to date someone.  Today I'm not very interested in starting a relationship.  Relationships suck these days.  The best we can do is hope.

McWay falls... I shall return soon

I've been doing these 52 week projects for the last three years.  This is year four.