This month's update is huge!  I mean, this might be the biggest entry I've ever done for Elsewhere.  Why so big?  One phrase.. Big Sur!  The epic four day trip up to Big Sur certainly dominates the month, but it's not the only thing that happened.  Here's the month all wrapped up.

July 1, Today was, as I wrote to my buddy, a pretty pointless day.  Not that it was a bad day, just ultimately pointless in its entirety.  Work was work.  Pretty much got everything done.  But it was, as I said before, pointless.  LM pissed me off again.  This time she said she didn't like how I talked "baby talk" to her in my text messages.  Just because I sometimes substitute something like, "how are you," with, "how is you."  I mean come on, is that even baby talk?  She's a dope, and I'm going to just stop texting her.  She won't give it up anyway.  When we're together in person she's all lovey dovey and flirty.  She can't stand still, and always moves like she's all horned up.  But when you talk to her, boy... what a mess.  Despite the fact that we're less than two weeks away from our Big Sur trip TheGirl's boss still hasn't officially granted her the time off.  ARGH, it's so frustrating since I asked for the time off over a month ago, just in case something like this would happen.  TheGirl says that she is 100% sure that he boss will grant her the days.  Oh my monkey, she better get the clearance in the next couple of days or I'm gonna pass out.  I stopped by her place tonight, my traditional stop after work.  She was in a bad mood because of her living situation.  She says she's never lived like this, and here it is going on three years, looking at the start of year four in January, and she doesn't like it.  The heat just made things worse for her tonight.  Maybe things have come to a head, or something, in her life and she isn't feeling like things are where they should be.  I mention that because she said that she was reading some of my old emails from last year, before she broke up with me.  She mentioned how I would address them to "My Love."  Well duh, I was in love with her, she was my love.  Those feelings have waned in the last year.  Especially since she chose to be with another man.  Especially since she pursued another relationship while we were still in ours.  Especially since I did my best to move on after pouring my heart out and thinking that she was the one I would spend the rest of my life with.  Especially since, in my mind, I had forsaken all others.  Yeah, well, that's the way things go.  The highlight of the night was being able to play with Chan.  I miss that little stuffed monkey.  He's a lot of fun.

American Ecstasy... the movie?

July 2, Work was pretty chill today.  Long day went relatively fast since they put me on the upstairs desk at Glendale.  The time there is usually fast time.  If the patrons aren't coming up to me every other second I can actually web surf and enjoy the time.  When it got quiet I was able to check out some stuff for next week's trip to Big Sur.  I checked out what there was to do in Carmel.  I LOVE Carmel.  I'd want to live up there if I couldn't live in Big Sur proper.  Carmel is super quint, but also just nice.  The streets are small, there are a lot of tourists on those streets, but the place just has a nice mellow feel to it.  There isn't the rush that there is here in Los Angeles, where it seems that people will run you over just to save a few seconds at a red light.  Bullshit!  I'm REALLY looking forward to going up there.  If I won the big lotto prize I'd pay off this house, fix it up and also buy myself a super small place up there.  I'd live here, but I would visit there ALL THE TIME.  After a time my visits would probably be longer, and I would eventually stay up there longer and longer.

The picture above is of a website, for a movie, that has a very similar name as my website.. American Ecstasy movie dot-com.  I did a google search on my site tonight and found that I wasn't in the top five anymore.  I was way down on the second page.  No es bueno.  This site, which was described as, "The official website of American Ecstasy, the upcoming erotic thriller directed by Jonathan Leder," might drive more traffic to my site or not.  If it does, good.  If not, good too.  Ha!  I write all this for me.  I'm pretty sure that no one is here right now but me.  However, years from now there might be others reading this.  Who knows.  I'm thinking I have to see this movie, just to see what it's about.  The trailer doesn't really sell it to me, but we have a name kinship now, so I feel obliged to see it.

Chandaka going through TheGirl's purse... as usual

July 3, Class and work were hectic today, as usual for a Wednesday.  One of the library assistants had her son show up to help me with my senior computer class.  He shielded me from this one woman that asks questions that don't really pertain to what I'm teaching at that moment.  So that was good.  But this one lady didn't like that I didn't show her anything about her particular problem.  You can't win.  I don't try to win over everyone.  You just can't.  If that doesn't fit someone's idea of what I should do for them then too bad.  Fuck it all!  I then did my shift, which was pretty chill, actually.  There were a lot of things to do, but the kids being out of school kept things from getting too nuts.  Then I went over for dinner with TheGirl.  It was yummy.  She bought a portable air conditioning unit.  She can't use it until tomorrow, but it will help her deal with the heat.  It's so funny how she has packed that little room of hers with so much stuff.  She mentioned that she didn't have any plans for this weekend.  I let that hang in the air.  I'd like to spend time with her, but it's unhealthy to go back to that routine.  If we hang, that's cool.  If not, that's better.  I love her, but she still has TheChisel in her life.  She still likes hanging out with him.  I'm not her boyfriend, he is.  He's been the priority for a long time.  She mentioned my emails to her last week and how I would address them "My love," and how she missed that.  Well, she was my love.  She was everything to me.  Today I'm trying to still pick up the pieces of that shattered ideal.  Her big flaw is her inability to stay faithful.  So why should I expect anything less?  I tried with her, I REALLY did try.  Three times she broke up with me, and twice I retuned without a blink.  Third time was it.  The first time should have been it.  It would have been a wonderful memory and that would have been that.  Second break-up would have been good as well.  But things had to go this way for me to finally wake up.  Like Is said, I do love her.  I will always love her.  But I'm not in love with her.  I do love that little monkey, Chan.  He represents what was, and also just pure joy, innocence, and love.  I like that.

July 4, I loved sleeping in this morning.  I ran some errands with my aunt.  She bought me lunch.  Said Happy 4th to a bunch of friends via text.  Watched a little TV.  That was it today.  A holiday on a Thursday is strange.

July 5, Work was strange today.  It's like more than half the city isn't in town.  Thankfully the day went fast.  One of my co-workers got wind about the Santa Monica job and asked me today what the status was.  I told them I hadn't heard a thing, and that LAST week we should have heard something, because SMC told all the applicants there that we would be informed in two weeks whether we made it to the next round.  As I said, it's been three weeks now.  So I emailed the person that emailed me about the test.  I don't expect any response until Monday, at the earliest.  Actually, I don't expect any response.

yummy Hook burger I had at dinner with LM tonight

July 6, I usually don't work on Saturdays, but this weekend was unusual in that both jobs asked me to work today.  I was able to fit them both in because one was in the morning and the other was in the late afternoon.  But it was a close shave since my Glendale gig was supposed to only last until 12:30, but went until 1pm.  That only gave me an hour to get something to eat, pay the mortgage and get something to eat on my way to job two.  Somehow I made it to San Marino not only on time, but a few minutes early.  The co-worker that is gawky but cute was there.  I dare say I have a little bit of a crush on her.  She would NEVER go out with me though.  I just know it.  That's OK, I had something scheduled for tonight anyway.  My new co-worker also worked today, but she was LATE by nearly two and a half hours.  She was scheduled to work from 1pm, but didn't arrive until 3:20!!  That's nuts.  My other co-workers and I wonder how long she's gonna last with this habitual lateness she has shown.  I don't think she's been on time for ANY of her shifts.  I was there her first day and she was late THAT DAY!  FIRST DAY on the job you do not arrive late.  Not a single minute late.  You arrive super early, at LEAST fifteen minutes early to get the lay of the land.  When I first started at CSUN I arrived nearly an hour early.  When I started my current jobs I arrived at least fifteen minutes early.  I mean come on.
The evening thing I mentioned was having dinner and more with LM.  Now I've been on her jock for the longest time.  Tonight I knew she would sleep with me.  Of course it went south fast.  Dinner was fine, so was walking around a little.  But then the sleeping together part sucked.  And it was all me.  I could no perform.  I caught a whiff of her pussy and that just made me limp.  I could not concentrate on anything else but that pungent smell.  It wasn't bad, but it's stronger than I'm used to these days.  Next time, if there is a next time, I'm gonna pop a little blue pill to overcome that smell.  HA!  Or maybe I should just walk away while the getting good.

July 7, I'm drunk.  And so I wrote the following: There are many times when I don't feel like I fit this ideal of what an artist should be.  I'm not "out there," or "eclectic," as I see other artist types prance around doing.  But perhaps that is, like my buddy Jonathan said, "All an act."  He paid me the biggest complement once by saying that I was the only real artist at an art exhibition last year.  I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not.  I'm just a craftsman, and my craft happens to be photography.  With a little writing on the side.  There may yet come a day when my work is appreciated.  I don't care if you appreciate me, but if you appreciate my work, my craft, my work, my art, then I thank you.

My new co-workers, (clockwise) Nina, Rose, Shawnnie, don't know yet, and Warren

July 8, Back to the grind, and what a grind.  Shortened weeks like this one tend to suck.  So I'm bracing for a sucky week.  Pictured above are my new co-workers.  The one I've worked with a few times now is Rose.  She's a little weird, but nice.  My co-workers all think she's just some weirdo, but they should give her a chance.  What I do feel is jacked up is her tardiness.  She was late for her FIRST DAY on the job!  Now who the fuck is late on their first day?!?  And she's been seemly habitually late nearly every day since then.  Whatever.  Some of my co-workers have talked about going to our supervisor and saying that we need at the very least a refresher course.  But others think we should tell him that some people just aren't doing their jobs.  However, he doesn't care, so why should I care?  He checked out a long time ago.  So did I.
Speaking of work, the cute co-worker that I had been working with for the last few weeks wasn't at work tonight.  That's because she has a new job, and only works Saturdays at the branch.  So I won't see her for a couple of weeks.  If I'm brave I ask her that day if she wants to "hang out."  Knowing me, I won't ask her anything.  I need to buck up already.  Also tonight, I visited TheGirl tonight after work and she mentioned that "the kids" (TheGirl's daughter and daughter's boyfriend) told her the other day that they missed me.  I guess TheChisel isn't that fun.  Yeah, but TheGirl made her decision, and it wasn't me.

Annie, Jeff, and Gil, in the back office, as taken with my now working fisheye lens

July 10, I have to figure out one day why the shortest day of my week, Wednesday, does such a good job beating me up.  It's like the shortness compacts the terribleness.  Still, today wasn't so horrible.  It's the second to last week of my senior computer classes until September.  And, the best thing, I FINALLY heard back from SMC about that library assistant job I tested for nearly four weeks ago.  As I stated in this journal before, I sent SMC an email asking what happened with the results.  That was last Friday.  I didn't expect a response on Monday, but I hoped it would come on Tuesday.  So I was a day off, but at least they finally got back to me.  Here's what the email said:

Thank you for your continued interest in the Library Assistant position with Santa Monica College.  This notice is to inform you of a delay in your written exam results.  The results of the written exam will be available no later than this Friday, July 12, 2013.  Therefore, you will receive notification of your written exam results on or before that date.

What I wonder, aside from what is taking them so long to score a SCANTRON test, is why did it take me emailing these people in order for them to inform me that there was a delay in the scoring of the test?  When were they planning on telling us that there was a delay in the scoring?  I mean come on, I'm sure all of us who took the test were thinking that they didn't qualify.  Meanwhile, no one had been contacted.  This is just messed up.  However, at least I'm not dead in the water.  I'll know by the end of the week what my future holds.

The girl at the city treasurer's office, who I nicknamed TreasuryGirl

July 11, Today was such a non-day.  Which is actually a good thing.  My route didn't start right at 8am, like it does normally.  It started about 30 minutes after, because my supervisor had me set-up the auditorium for an event.  She told me to take it easy today, and I did.  I took a nice long break when I had to, and did my job steadily but not all out.  It was an easy day on the route, which made it easy to chill.  I had to kill time until 5pm, and just as it was 4:55pm my supervisor says, you can leave early.  Ha!  A big five minutes.  It was OK, since I went and talked to Dane for about an hour.  Then I bolted to the bank, took out some money for the trip.  Then I got a haircut and now I'm sitting here "telling" you this.  The route was nice, and starting after lunch an hour later helped me avoid TheHusband.  I haven't seen him around city hall in weeks, but I have around town.  Nothing where he can see me, since I'm just in a random van driving by where he is standing or parked.  I have my after lunch route timed so that I get out of the library at around 2:30pm.  That way I can best avoid TheHusband, who I really have no desire to confront.  But then there's TreasuryGirl, who is this girl that works in the city treasurer's office (pictured above).  She is absolutely stunning, as you can tell from that picture.  This picture doesn't even do her justice, she is FINE.  For the last few months she's been on my mind on Thursdays.  I want to ask her out for coffee, or anything.  But of course I'm a coward.  The one time she was alone in the office she was super friendly.  The times she's not alone in the office she is not as friendly.  One time she totally ignored me, but today she was nice.  I pick up and drop off bags containing money to the treasurer, which is why I'm there, duh.  The times we have talked for more than a few moments we end up talking about the bags, but I know both of us aren't talking about the bags.  I'm interested in just looking at her for a few moments more.  I like to think that she's interested in the same thing.  If I ever get the balls I'll know either way.  The reason why I have her picture posted is because I saw her name plate on her desk.  Araz is her first name.  I wish I had the courage to ask her out for coffee.
Tomorrow Big Sur.  I honestly can't believe that it's really happening.  This morning as I parked the car the gravity of this trip hit me and I burst into tears.  I feel this is going to be a very significant trip, special if you will.  I plan on posting a ton of pictures, and having the time of my life with TheGirl.  It is queer to be going on a trip with her, over a year after our last break-up.  But I'm not looking to get back with her, so the pressure is off.  I just want to be her friend.

Ripplewood resort, our home during this trip

July 12, Travel day up to Big Sur today.  TheGirl arrived and we hot footed it up the coast.  I was either too anxious, or something, because I didn't eat any breakfast.  I figured we would stop along the way, like last time, and have a good hearty meal.  My hunger only let us travel as far as Santa Ynez, where I used FourSquare to find us a place to eat.  Our recommendation was a little dinner named The Longhorn Cafe.  It looked like something out of a book, old but clean counter, those swivel chairs, utilitarian tables with equally utilitarian chairs.  Not made for looks, made to be sat on over and over and over and over again.  TheGirl didn't like the place from the get go.  The waitress was also out of central casting, if you were looking to cast a tough, don't give a shit, type.  We ordered up our meals and quick as a wink we were being given our grub.  The waitress asked if we wanted ketchup or salsa, I said ketchup, the waitress turned to TheGirl as if to ask if she wanted salsa.  TheGirl said, I'm fine.  The sassy waitress turned and brought me the ketchup, and then the girl said, I changed my mind I'll have the salsa.  The waitress gave her such a look, according to TheGirl.  I wasn't looking, I was too busy looking over my Denver omelette.  After that we headed out again and didn't stop until we reached Moonstone beach in Cambria.  After that brief stop we booked it up the coast.  We stopped at a couple of the vista points.  At one a couple, driving what I call a "fake Honda Fit," fake Fit for short, asked if we wanted our picture taken.  We said yes, and the woman proceeded to take our picture.  She finger was in the picture, but I wasn't going to tell her it was jacked up.  It was the thought that counted.  Then I took out Chandaka and took some pictures with him of TheGirl and me.  Such a cute monkey.  A lady in another car commented, "Look, they have their monkey."  Good times.  Our next stop was our place for this stay, Ripplewood Inn.  Our cabin is cute.  TheGirl's initial reaction to the size of the room was not a positive one.  But, I told her it would be great.  We're only going to use it for sleeping and showering.  She agreed.
After a quick rest we headed up to Carmel for dinner.  We went back to a place we went to last time, Club Jalapeno, where I inhaled two margaritas at dinner.  Dinner was yummy.  Just as the food is arriving I get an email, the email from SMC that I've been waiting for.  It would tell me whether I move on to the next step in this job search, or if I'm just not good enough. I was so tanked at that moment that I didn't even think to open the email, though TheGirl insisted.  So I opened it, it said I didn't qualify.  My score was only a 67%, and they wanted someone to score a 90% to even consider them going on to the next round.  Oh well.  No skin off my nose, right?  But deep down inside it was just another kick in the teeth that I didn't need.  Deep down inside I know it's more their loss than mine, but it's still a loss for me.  I needed this job.  I told TheGirl what the email said and she pointed out how it was a shame because they'll never know how good I am.  No one appreciates that shit.  This is just typical of everything in my life.  I can be damn good at anything and everything, but there's always someone who is going to be better.  And even if they aren't, they will be picked first.  I was never picked first in anything.  I'm reliable, that's why.  I don't put up a fuss, I just go out there and do my job, do my art, do my life.  That isn't "sexy" or in your face enough.  But, that's just me.

Cannery Row in Monterey, our day two adventure

July 13, Today we had pretty much a perfect day.  Started off with breakfast at the Big Sur River Inn, where we saw that girl that we meet last time.  I find her sorta cute in her tallness.  She's a big girl, with kinda a monotone voice, and she sometimes seems like she's not comfortable with her height, but I think she's nice.  I joked with TheGirl that she should help me by asking if she's single.  We bolted up the coast after breakfast and arrived in Monterey at around 1pm.  My idea was to take the trolly around from the wharf to Cannery Row.  We walked around the wharf for a while, then hopped on the trolly and went to Cannery Row.  We walked around there for a while, going into the various shops.  We went to a wine tasting bar and drank some nice wine.  The view from the wine tasting place was tremendous.  Afterwards we walked down the rest of Cannery Row until we reached the aquarium.  I tried to temp TheGirl into going in, but she said next time.  I'm good with that.  The price of the aquarium is nearly $40 now.  When I came up here in 2005 it was about $20.  Crazy!  I think only Disneyland has such high prices.  We continued west on our walk, going up the nature trail that moves up towards Pacific Grove.  We were getting hungry, and me mentioning fish and chips every second made TheGirl crave some, which I was already craving.  I knew of a place that had good fish and chips, but then I read some other reviews and decided to skip it.  I went online and found a place that was only a couple of blocks away and supposedly had good fish and chips.  The place was another one of these places that isn't fancy, but has great food.  The fish and chips were really good.  I think the theme of this trip is simple but good.  The dinner in Santa Ynez wasn't much to look at, but it had good food.  This fish and chips place was also nothing to look at, but it was good.  Following that we went back to the car and drove up to Pacific Grove.  We were losing the light of day, but we had just enough time to walk down the main drag in Pacific Grove and check out the sights.  At the end of the commercial part we finally found the ice cream parlor we had hoped to find in Monterey.  The place was filled, and I mean covered from wall to wall, with Beatles memorabilia.  There was a nice peppering of Jimi Hendrix, and other bands, as well.  After a long day we retired to our cabin.  Tomorrow, another full day in Big Sur, and then sadly Monday we have to return home.

Andrew Molera beach, part of our day three adventures

July 14, TheGirl mentioned how the days are going fast, but not.  Yeah, the days are going fast.  Today was another packed day.  We headed out to the Big Sur bakery for breakfast, where I had a breakfast pizza.  Basically a pizza with eggs and bacon on it.  It was yummy, and huge.  It's enough for two people, easily.  We then headed north to Andrew Molera park, where we trekked down to the beach.  The beach was huge, and of course beautiful.  Looking out on the water we could spot dolphins in the distance as well as fishing boats.  TheGirl made a joke yesterday about posing nude on a beach.  I told her that we had to find a secluded beach for that sort of stuff.  Well, Molera became that secluded beach.  After doubling back to our cabin and changing we headed up to Carmel for our walking tour.  We first stopped at the mission.  I must say, the Carmel mission is a fancy mission.  Our stomachs started to churn, so we headed to a restaurant in Carmel where we had a really nice meal.  After dinner we decided to walk over to a highlight of the walking tour online, the hansel and gretel house.  It was only a couple of blocks from the restaurant, and we were there in a few moments.  The house is like something out of a fairytale.  We continued walking around Carmel, exploring some streets that we hadn't checked out before.  Around 8pm we headed back to the cabin and had some drinks before retiring for the night.  BUT!  Perhaps the drinks were a bad idea.  TheGirl and I got nice and drunk and had sex.  Incomplete sex in that neither of us came, but sex indeed.  I did like it, because it did feel like old times.  With LM everything felt forced, unlike with TheGirl.  Yeah, it was like riding a bike.  Fucking shame.  I promised myself I wouldn't go down this road with TheGirl again, and here I am.  I knew it would happen eventually, and tonight was that eventually.  I still don't know what this means in the grand scheme of things.  I guess time will tell.  Tomorrow is travel day.

Bixby bridge

July 15, Travel day, back from OZ to dumb ol' Kansas today.  TheGirl and I each had a couple of drinks last night, celebrating a good time.  Well, it was a little too much for TheGirl this morning, because she woke up with a hangover.  I almost never suffer from hangovers, so of course I woke up feeling chipper.  Meanwhile, TheGirl's stomach was doing flip flops.  We got our stuff ready and booked it down the coast.  TheGirl not wanting to eat caused me not to eat, despite her saying it was OK.  I didn't have a bite until we reached Cambria.  The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful.  She took a nap shortly after we left Cambria and didn't wake up until we were about 20 mins out of Los Olivos.  She was feeling almost 100% by the time we reached my house.

July 18, This week has gone really fast.  I didn't even get a chance to write here.  But here I am now.  My route today was super easy.  I hardly had any books to deliver or pick-up.  My supervisor said that the regular Wednesday driver wasn't available, so she had to get the other driver to cover in the late afternoon.  The branch people told me they had fewer books for me because they didn't have the time.  Hey, to me it's all gravy.  Less work for me.  Besides, it was warm today.
Let me recap the week so far.  Tuesday was a struggle since it was the first day back after the epic trip.  Sure, it was a letdown after such a great trip, but I knew it would be.  I was just starting my week, but already I was looking forward to Sunday.  However, Tuesday my supervisor asked me to work on Sunday.  Not just work, but work a strange shift, 5pm to 9:30pm.  There's an event that needs coverage, and I'm the man.  I guess I could have said no, but I do need the cash.  I spent a lot of money on this last trip.  The bill for dinner the last night in Carmel was nearly $80.  Because of my Sunday extra work day I won't have a day off for twelve straight days.  I've worked more days in a row, but these work mini marathons wear me out now more than before.  Today I also had something blow up in my face.  LM talked to one of my other co-workers and found out from them that I went on my trip with TheGirl.  LM, of course, hears this and blows up and sends me several angry texts.  Not that it's any of her business who I travel with.  She assumed that if I went up with her that I was going to sleep with her.  Even if that was true, LM assumes too much.  She assumes that we're in a relationship, or headed in that direction at least.  This is something I adamantly told her I was not interested in at all.  I told her straight up that I was only interested in fucking her.  And now after doing so I regret even pursuing that.  I wanted to text her to go fuck herself.  Instead I decided to send her a text plainly stating that we were not in a relationship.  I told her I wasn't interested in returning with TheGirl.  However, she didn't believe me, mainly because she was hurt.  I get it.  Hence me giving up even trying.  I told her that she can think what she wants, I don't care.  And it's true, I don't care.

The movie board at the Arclight in Hollywood

July 20, A few weeks ago I saw a movie trailer for a movie called "Pacific Rim."  It looked so awesome at first glance that I KNEW I was going to see this movie.  By some strange alignment of time the movie was released last week, my Big Sur weekend, so my watching it was delayed by something quite important.  However, today I had my evening all to myself after working a short four hour shift at my Montrose job.  Which, I add, felt longer than four hours.  The cute co-worker that TheGirl says was flirting with me was there.  I dropped a few hints about going to the movie if she wasn't working a long shift and stuff.  She just told me that she was going to the Hollywood Bowl with her family.  Oh-kay... I knew that it was best to be on my way after she didn't respond to my dropping hints.  I had nearly four hours to kill until the movie started, so food was the first priority.  I didn't want to have the same old meal, so while I drove in traffic through Echo Park I searched FourSquare for a good place to eat.  But I needed a specific food or the search would be too broad.  I finally picked falafel, and I honed in on a place near the theater, some place called Western Falafel.  The reviews made it sound yummy, so I went.  Well, it wasn't terrible, but their falafels were overdone, and were kinda flavorless.  Still, I was hungry, and they weren't horrible.  Oh, and did I mention I was hungry?  Following the meal I went to the theater to buy a ticket, just in case a lot of people were interested in going to this movie.  The 5:40pm start time made me pretty sure that the movie wasn't going to be packed.  Still, I bought my ticket and then went to the Amoebae record store next door trying to find a Blu-ray copy of "Vertigo."  No dice, so I just bit the bullet and bought the essential collection on Amazon.  Afterward, I still had nearly an hour and a half to kill.  So I went to the bar inside the Arclight and had two Manhattans.  That got me all nice and sauced for the movie.  I wasn't completely sober even after the movie had ended.  The movie was pure AWESOME!  It lived up to the hype in my mind.  It didn't pretend to be an art house movie or anything.  It was just huge robots fighting huge monsters.  Pure awesome!  It was a good day.

2007 Northridge Review - where you will find two of my photos published

July 22, Work, work, work.  Today went fast, for some reason.  Nothing significant happened today at work, so I'll skip that stuff.  The significant event happened on my way home.  My friend is currently in a bad work situation.  He needs to leave, but pulling the trigger on leaving is difficult since times are tough and it's not that easy to find a job these days.  He's reluctant to quit, but he also knows that it's time to move on.  Recent events at his job have given him the serious inertia to consider leaving.  Tonight he was talking about the future, which means visiting the past.  We ended up talking about how we were both published in the Northridge Review years ago when we were still in school.  I have a copy of the review, but I hadn't thought of it until he mentioned it tonight that yeah, my work has been published.  They published two of my photos, and at the time (and now still) I was super proud to have those photos published.  I'm still struggling to get more eyes to check out my work.  I think I do good work, but no one is looking.  Perhaps some day.
Link to PDF of the 2007 Northridge Review.

July 23, Today was just another wasted day.  Not much can be said about today other than it went rather quickly.  Did my morning shift, which was easy since we had a third clerk helping.  Then I went to my evening job, which also went fast.  The highlight today was receiving my Vertigo Blu-ray in the mail.  The movie looks absolutely beautiful.  HD really makes that movie pop.  Oh, I nearly forgot, I saw LM at work today.  I could tell she was uncomfortable, so I tried to make our meeting as normal as possible.  She didn't want to talk.  I really don't care either way, but I still want to treat her nicely.  So not a day.

July 24, On most Wednesdays our supervisor has things to do outside of circulation, so I rarely see him until after 3pm.  Today was no different, and today I had one of the new workers working with me on the desk.  I became the pseudo boss to both my co-workers since they are both inexperienced with circ. desk procedures.  Also, they have me going to the post office to drop off the passports from the night before.  It's definitely a jammed packed day.
Following a busy shift I headed over to TheGirl's for our traditional Wednesday dinner.  She was running late, so I suggested we just go get some food.  We went up to a Mexican restaurant, where I had a margarita in celebration of tequila day.  Well, I would have had it if it was dog catcher's day.  After dinner we talked a little, and she mentioned that we will have to find the time to finish what we started our last night in Big Sur.  I hate to say it, but even though I have fought going back to sleeping with TheGirl it was pleasant to feel her, to see and touch her body.  It was like old times.  The best old times.  I've noticed that she and I have been reminiscing a lot about our past.  In a week it will only be three years since we first started down this road, but it has been a packed three years.  Packed with good times, drama, and some hard times.  But, it's always been interesting.

AE's figure is something out of a dream

July 25, Today my route was chill, as usual.  No surprises, no running into TheHusband at city hall.  I thought about how TheGirl says he doesn't know what I look like, so I shouldn't have to worry about running into him.  Now our paths have crossed a few times, and it would seem that he doesn't care that it's me, or he doesn't know it's me.  Still, I don't want to run into him.
After my regular shift I had a little extra job to do.  One of the branches is celebrating five years open.  I was asked to be the photographer.  I took some pictures of the kids at the event and generally had a great time.  All the while the coworker I have a huge crush on, AE, was prancing around doing her thing.  I have such a big crush on her.  I want to bite the bullet and ask her out, but I know if she says no it will hurt a lot.  But I need to know.  These things seem to never go well for me.  There are so many factors that don't favor this having the result I want.

July 26, I walk into work and I'm told today that I'm driving the route.  The regular driver called in sick and now I'm driving.  The route was pretty standard.  I took my time and I still made it back to home base by 1:30.  I was a dummy, because I should have milked it until 2pm, at the very least.  But, it is what it is.  By the time six rolled around I was beat.  I went over to my buddy Jonathan's house to catch up.  He told me he quit his loss prevention job when some idiot pulled a gun on him and pulled the trigger.  The gun didn't shoot, but that was the last straw for him.  He quit that day.  He also told me that he because a minister on some online church.  Since he's unemployed we joked that he should get a congregation going and make money off those fools.  He said that he was seriously considering it.  I mean, why not?

Pacific Park branch, nearly as quiet as a tomb

July 27, I'm working at one of the branch libraries today.  I'm writing this as I "work," since there's not really much for me to do.  I mean, I can check-in some books.  However, that will talk like two seconds right now.  I want to make it look like I'm working.  Oh well, at least I'm journaling.  I want to head out to Disneyland for some good times and grub when I'm off work.  Then I'll met up with that crazy patron girl and take some photos with her.  I'll finish this when the day is done.
OK, so I picked up my model, G-oh at her place in Glendale.  Promptly she wanted to head to a bar down the road called Bigfoot Lodge.  It's a pretty neat looking place, that sadly can't make a good Manhattan.  But, G-oh wanted to take a few photos in the bar.  After a couple of sips from my Manhattan I didn't care about feeling awkward taking pictures in a bar.  The joint is pretty neat though, looking like a forest and all.  The place looks like it gets really busy at night, but thankfully we were there earlier enough to avoid the crowds.  After drinks we went to my place where I set-up a makeshift studio in the living room to take some more pictures.  We uploaded the pictures to my Dropbox and talked about such things as nude photography.  I don't know if G-oh has the body for nudes, but I'm not going to say no if she decides she wants to pose nude for me.  She has a big butt, yet it has a nice shape and might look really nice.  I think she might do it.  We shall have to see.  Today was a pretty good day.  Nearly no work at work.  Then booze, photos, food, and a good company.

July 28, Did nothing on my first day off in twelve days.  Because of that I didn't want to do anything, nor did I do anything.  I need more of these days.

July 29, Today pretty much sucked dick.  At my San Marino job I work Mondays with this one co-worker who has gone on this strange campaign of hate for the last two weeks.  Today she was insistent that she hated working with me.  She must have said "I hate working with you" at least thirty times during the three hours we worked together.  I really don't give a damn if she likes working with me or not, I just hate that she has to voice it so many times.  ARGH, it just wore me down where I didn't want to be there.  I mean, I stopped caring what people think of me a long time ago.  But this stupid co-worker of mine just wore me down today.  I already don't want to go to work.  Having dummy repeat like a parrot that she doesn't like working with me is something I don't want to deal with.  I think if this continues I'll just have to record her saying this to me and go to the boss.
LM was also working the morning shift, and she of course took a moment to throw this whole thing with her in my face.  Again, I don't care.  But having to deal with both of these women today just got to me.  I saw a janitorial job at San Marino open up.  I'd very much like a job where I don't have to deal with people all day.  Maybe a little interaction, but nothing major.  I'm tired of people.  As I say most Monday mornings.. cram it, Monday!  Fucking horrible Monday.  One positive thing today was that I booked the room for the next trip up to Big Sur at the end of September.  I still want to go during Thanksgiving to take a million photos, but that will remain to be seen if i can go then.

July 30, Here are a few things that happened today.  Worked my job int he morning with one of the new girls.  She asked me a bunch of questions.  She's cute.  I wonder if the questions mean something.  Like she wants it.  At the end of our shift she mentioned she was turning 21 soon.  I said we should go get a drink to celebrate.  She told me she doesn't celebrate her birthday because she's a Jehovah's witness.  Next!  My Glendale job had me moving tables, temporary walls, chairs, and display cases.  Always fun.  The co-worker thing from yesterday where one of my co-workers continually said to me that she hates working with me was resolved tonight.  My other co-worker mentioned to her how I didn't think it was a joke that she said she hated working with me.  I explained to my joking co-worker that there was a point where the joke turned for me when I went from thinking it was just a joke to thinking she was absolutely serious.  I don't want to even be there, and having one of my co-workers say she doesn't like working with me made me just sad yesterday.  Now, off to the last day of this jammed packed month.

Chan in TheGirl's car as we all went to get dinner

July 31, Today was a short day for me.  Woke up and took the car into get an oil change.  That was followed by some errands and lunch before work.  Then came work, which was chill because there were three of us on the desk.  Then came dinner with TheGirl.  I didn't bring up any anniversary thing wondering if she remembered.  At the end of the night I sent her a text saying "3 years."  She responded, "Yes, it is."  After which she said, "I love you for still being a part of my life."  Yeah, I'm still here.  I wouldn't have thought that three years after that fateful day that I'd be going with TheGirl and her daughter, and a stuffed monkey, to Big Lots, Vons and Subway for dinner.  But you know what?  It's not our anniversary anymore than last year at this time was our anniversary.  But it is a wonderful memory.  I like that we acknowledged it.
It's silly to even consider that it was our anniversary since we didn't even make our second anniversary.  But it's important because our friendship hinges on that past relationship.  Also because we're still close and were recently intimate again after nearly a year of not being intimate.  It's all very confusing.  I think about how I do want to start dating someone else, like AE.  How will my friendship with TheGirl affect possible future relationships with women I like?  Look how the whole thing blew up in my face with LM as something that could happen with an actual potential girlfriend.  AE and TheGirl are acquaintances, and word could get back to AE if I don't tell her from the start that I still see TheGirl every Wednesday for dinner.  Course, right now something with AE is a huge pipe dream.  It's just an example of how keeping this friendship will cause problems down the line.  And yet, TheGirl is the most significant woman in my life since my Grandmother died.  She has steered me into new directions and gave me the time of my life.  All that in three short years.

I've been doing these 52 week projects for the last three years.  This is year four.

Here are the pictures I took on my most recent trip to Big Sur.