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Afterthoughts : This Past Month
First the updates. IMAGE_171 has new photos added to nearly every section, specifically: Eyephone (five new photos), Four (three new sets), and Things Eye See (two new photos). Also added this month is a new/old blog to Bliss. I'm trying to revive the idea of commentary on this website. And by that I need to get some opinions on paper.
March has been quite eventful. March has thrown quite a bit of stuff at me: new boss at one of my jobs, and new staff at both jobs. A pre-Big Sur trip to Hearst castle, lots of flirting with women, and also some personal drama. But enough about that, start reading the monthly recap.
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The Neptune pool at Hearst castle at dusk
March 2, I haven't been to Hearst castle since I was a little boy. This weekend I decided it had been long enough. In traveling to Big Sur I've driven by Hearst castle. A few weeks ago one of my co-workers told me he was going up there at the end of March to go on the night tour. His trip seemed like such a great idea that I really got the itch to go up to the castle. So, two weeks ago I pulled the trigger and booked the night tour and a room. The drive up to Hearst went pretty quick since I was on the phone most of the time. I first stopped off at Moonstone beach in Cambria before going up to my hotel to check in. I couldn't until 3pm, but I had reached Cambria at noon. So the beach was a perfect place to take pictures and also kill some time. After the beach I decided to head down and get some food in Cambria. Linn's cafe has now become a necessary stop not he way up the coast. The food is great. About the time I finished my lunch, which consisted of a meatloaf sandwich, it was time to check into the hotel. I went up to my room and rested for a little bit.
The tour started with the Neptune pool, which I remember being super huge when I was a kid. It was still huge, but seemed like half the size from when I was young. I guess everything is like that now. We visited the biggest of the guest homes first. It was quite nice. We then moved up to the castle. The thing is still huge, no matter what amount of time passes. We went to the big living room, then the dinning area, followed by kitchen; private quarters and finally the indoor pool. During the tour I kept running into a pair of girls that seemed flirty, at least the blonde. But I did I do anything to get to know them? No. I guess I figured why bother.
After the tour I was hungry. Cambria was my option since the restaurants near my hotel all had pretty lame or average ratings online. I remember the last time I was there with TheGirl that there was a Chinese food place. I checked online, which gave it positive reviews, and hurried myself over there. I made it a few minutes before closing time. I returned to my room and had dinner by the window, to a chorus of frogs croaking outside my window. I passed out and went to sleep.
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San Simeon beach, taken with iPhone and fisheye lens
March 3, I wanted to be home at a reasonable hour today, so I figured I would be on the road by noon and arrive home around 3pm. But, I also wanted to visit old San Simeon. Located across the street from the castle entrance is located a nice beach with a pier and a little "village" for lack of a better word. The solitude was nice. There were a few people on the beach, and a pair on the pier. It was just nice to have those moments to myself to remember what I felt when I was in Big Sur. It was sort of a preview of next month's trip to Big Sur. My trip to Hearst was good, I wish I could have stayed longer and explored more of that part of the coast, but I also needed to get home. The drive home had a couple of stops for me, mainly the Cayucos cemetery just a few miles south of Cambria. I've now driven by that cemetery five times, not including the trip back home this day, and every time this one huge headstone catches my eye. Today I decided to go out there and take a picture of that headstone. I took a few with my various cameras. The best of the pictures I posted on my photo blog. The drive home was longer than the drive up, mainly because I was on the phone for the drive up for at least two of the three hours it took me. Back home TheGirl had suggested having dinner, but I knew that wasn't going to work out. Sure enough, she was busy running errands. I was OK with missing dinner though.
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March 4, Well, it's back to reality today. And of course Monday and Tuesday are the longest days of my week. But at least once I get them out of the way the rest of the week is a cakewalk compared to those two. So certainly coming back to reality wasn't easy, but there were some things that made it bearable. Mainly the fact that two of my co-workers at the Montrose branch are really attractive. Both of the attractive girls are thin. One started working there only a few weeks ago. She's tall and skinny, but she does look nice. My other co-worker has been there for a long time. She's skinny as well, but has more curves despite being thin. Last week she wore really tight jeans. It showed her ass really good, and her boobs seem to be showing more lately. Sometimes girls have a way of hiding them. The terrible book The Secret came across the circulation desk. I talked about it to my co-worker and mocked it for being so silly. But I wonder if me doing this law of attraction will help me sleep either the new skinny girl from Glendale, or the co-worker I photographed a while back. I know it sounds so low, but honestly come on already.
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Numerous texts and TheGirl and Chandaka
March 6, TheGirl invited me for dinner tonight after work. It's so funny to have her invite me over and then talk to me about her boyfriend. She mentioned at the end of the night that she he was coming down this weekend. I don't care because my weekends don't revolve around her. I've been rebuilding my social life week by week. I've been contacting more people than in my neglectful recent past. The picture above shows the texts I I was sending to people today. In the past it would only be to TheGirl and my buddy from college. These days I'm opening the field and chatting with as many people as possible. I don't need to hang out with her to have a good time. I have a list of things I wanted to visit. I may not get to all of them, but I'm going to make an effort to get some of them done. I hope to also be doing some outside gigs like headshots and photography. So yeah, TheGirl can just hang out with her new man all week long for all I care. And of course I say that despite the fact that I do like hanging with TheGirl still, and I am trying to just be her friend. I know that friendship is a dead-end because it doesn't fulfill me like our relationship did. And then there's the constant reminder of that failed relationship. Still, there are moments like tonight that remind us both that we were damn good together. Lately those moments have revolved around the little stuffed monkey that TheGirl bought. I work him like a puppet. Recently I invented a butt wiggle move that cracks me up because the stuffed monkey shakes his butt in front of TheGirl's face. The monkey, strangely enough, represents the good times we had.
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Saying good-bye to my boss Ann
March 8, My boss Ann's last day is next week. Tonight the whole gang from the library went out to eat and have drinks and send her off. It was really nice. I got there late because I had to work until 6pm, and the party started at 5:30. Lucky me, huh? Anyways, the party doesn't really start until I arrive anyways. And yes, this time was no different. The majority of my co-workers bolted less than an hour after I arrived. But the group you see in the picture above closed the place down. Well, except Brad, who is the only other male in the picture besides me. So yeah, at the end it was me and a bunch of my female co-workers, and former boss. It's crazy because when I first started I didn't have an attraction to Ann, but then one day during CPR class I checked out her butt. It was boney but nice and round. It turned me on so much that I remember the next time I jerked off I thought about her butt and it was nice. Next to Ann is our newest employee, and yes I have a crush on her. She's NICE. I mean like really nice. I love her hair, her attitude, her legs. ARGH! Next to me is my new boss. And next to her is LM, the co-worker I slept with about three years ago. I'm still trying to get back in her pants. Not so much because it was so great, but because I suspect she will let me in. Really I should just walk away from that, but I'm a bit horny since I haven't fucked since TheGirl told me we weren't going to be fuck buddies anymore. I didn't either, and my dick showed that. Well, tonight after we ended this gathering LM, another co-worker in this picture and I went to a dive bar in Pasadena. It was a dump that made me a horrible Manhattan. But, it afforded me a chance to get Laurel a little more tipsy. Enough that she made out with me on the street in front of her car. I forced the issue because she's a live target and is down for a good fuck. However, she's also seeing a guy (like I care about that, am I right). Technically she cheated on the guy by kissing me back. Technically she considered cheating on him by then telling me I should have followed her home. But, whatever. I'm not surprised that women cheat on their men. Which makes me think I shouldn't be in another relationship, since the woman I'm with will most likely cheat on me. Makes things easier to know how things are going to turn out before the start. Which, actually, also makes me think I have a chance with the new co-worker that I have a slight crush on. Nah.
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March 9, On these free weekends I do want to go out and check out the sights. Today I hung out with my buddy from college, El Vagabundo. Originally we wanted to check out the Space Shuttle at the California Science center. But, we got a late start because I had my car serviced in the morning and it took about four hours to get it back to me. They did a bunch of stuff, including changing the front brakes. When we arrived at the Science center parking entrance the girl at the booth told us that the center was closing in an hour, and that the Shuttle was closed all day. So even if we went in for that hour we couldn't see the shuttle. So we exited and bolted to parts unknown. We ended up in Silverlake where we walked up and down the hipster enclave to take some pictures. My buddy found and bought a U2 album that he's been looking for for the better part of a year. I took some OK pictures, and a couple of usable ones for the site. We headed home, chilled for a bit, then went to dinner at this place called Stout in Studio City for some burgers. The burgers were quite tasty. The waitress that served us was also quite tasty. She was cute, a few extra pounds, but sexy as hell. The both of us commented how pretty she was. I couldn't stop staring at her behind. It was a little big, but also had a great shape. I thought of flirting with her, but everyone flirts with her, I thought, so I will be the one douche that doesn't. She has a sultriness about her that goes beyond what her body looks like. It's sexy because she is sure of herself. It was a good day. At near the end of dinner TheGirl texted me that she missed me. I told her that we will see each other soon. I was not going to text her back that I missed her. I don't anymore.
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March 14, Today was a regular old Thursday. I did my delivery route today and then was forced to go to my co-worker's house tonight for dinner. He's been hassling me all week to go over to this place for dinner. And now I know why. He wanted to sleep with me. After I ate dinner he came onto me. I told him I wasn't interested. I asked TheGirl to call me in order to get out of his house. Thankfully she did and I was able to get out of there pretty fast. I've been come on to before, but never like this. Never like this by a man. Women have jumped me, not men. They usually just say they have a crush on me, or love me, or whatever. They don't usually get physical. My co-worker did. He kissed me on the neck. He jumped on top of me when I was on the couch. Not cool.
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Chandaka helping TheGirl drive
March 16, TheGirl is boyfriendless this weekend, so she asked me to hang out with her today. Apparently her sugar daddy gave her some money so she could take me and "the kids" out to dinner. So she decided she wanted to eat at Downtown Disney. We drove down there, of course totally not thinking about how there would be a million other people with the same idea. Sure enough, the wait for the restaurant we wanted was an hour. We said forget that and went to the Earl of Sandwich shop and had some yummy sandwiches. Cheaper, and faster than the Mexican food we were planning on eating. On the way down I took Chandaka and was in rare form. He was waving at the cars on the freeway. He was checking himself in the vanity mirror. And then the best.. he sat on TheGirl's lap and drove the car (as pictured above). TheGirl and I had drinks after dinner. It's so silly to have this monkey be like this connection between us, but it is. He's like the child we never had. The monkey is like me because I'm the one that controls him. But also, he's TheGirl because sometimes she controls him. All I know is that at the end of the night she reiterated that she is free to just be herself around me. She voiced how the "relationship" with TheChisel is nearly over. I think it's because he's broke and lied to her. Otherwise she would stay with him.
On a completely different topic, my friend's Mom has moved back to Los Angeles this week. I wanted to fuck her since I first met her. I'm sure she's all hagged out these days, but at the same time both of us need a little physical connection, and I'm willing to fuck her brains out to make her happy. Actually, she voiced to me in a recent phone call that she is seriously considering committing suicide. I don't really know what to say to someone who says that. But, since I've had a thing for her I plan on seeing her in the coming week and going over to her place with some booze and coming on to her. Kinda how my gay co-worker did. Then, if all goes well, we will be intimate and by that I hope to help her feel better.
Today also marks the 16th anniversary of my Mom's passing. I hate to say it, but I didn't mark the occasion in any way. Her death is so distant in my mind that I cant remember what she was like. Her passing still hurts, and I miss her, but the memory of her is becoming blurred. I don't like that.
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March 18, Mondays pretty much are the worst days of the week. I don't feel well, because I'm not sleeping enough. Nor do I feel well that my weekend is over. Also it's the one of a one, two, punch that starts my weeks. Mondays and Tuesdays are the longest days of the week, and I get them after having a wonderful weekend. Not fair. But then again, what is fair? Then again, the rest of the week can't be as tiring as those first two days. Then again, I still have this cough from nearly a month back. I need more money, but this working so many hours is just going to tire me out. Work smarter, not more, should be my mantra.
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March 21, Tonight I told my new boss at San Marino that my co-worker Gil came on to me. I did this in order to cover my ass. If his phone calls going straight to voice mail cause him to act like a jilted lover it's very possible that he will accuse me of doing what he did to me. And I would rather come out and say it straight up than have it fester and me lose my job. Because I need my job. Gil says I gave him "signs" that I was gay? I get that a lot, but I'm not gay. I thought of Gil as more of an uncle figure, a good guy who was sometimes overly friendly to me. Never did I think he was gay though. And yet, my gut told me something was up and once again my gut was right. It's right a LOT. It's nearly ALWAYS right. Makes me wonder why I don't ALWAYS listen to my gut.
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Cocktails with friends
March 22, After a long week Fridays after work feel like recess. About a week and a half ago my former co-worker mentioned that we should get the old gang together and have dinner and drinks. Well, the old gang split and never reformed. Just as I was starting my relationship with TheGirl our dinner clubs fell to pieces. Some of our members found new friends. Some didn't like each other. Oh, and I stopped going. I like to think that's the REAL reason why dinner club died. It's possible I'm wrong. Anyhow, tonight we tried to rekindle that club. We failed. Everyone moved on, and I'm back mainly because I'm single again. My co-workers, Carrie and Ed, are a good couple. I like Carrie though. Enough that any excuse to hang with her, talk to her, is an opportunity that I don't want to pass up. There was a point were we were standing next to each other at the bar. Her left slightly brushed up against my leg. I felt that tingle, that rush of blood to every part of my body. I'm very attracted to Carrie, though I know that she will never leave Ed. There's a nice connection there, that I don't want to mess up. So even though all our co-workers flaked on us I really didn't care. I spent a nice evening with two good friends.
I nearly forgot to mention that TheGirl emailed me to say that that she broke up with TheChisel today. But, I wonder if it's a true break up. She told me that she was "not feeling it." Meaning the relationship. I'm sure that date she went on wasn't a symptom of her wanting to bolt. Sure. She's been wanting to bolt for a while, but she played things out, like she does, until she feels she can't be there any more. But that also means she has a back-up man waiting in the wings. Perhaps it's the guy she went and had drinks with. Perhaps it's TheHusband. Perhaps it's yet another man. Perhaps she thinks it's me. Whatever it is, things with her are never cut and dry. She doesn't move unless she knows her next move. I suspect TheChisel isn't out of the picture yet. And I don't care either way. I knew this day would come, because I lived through this already. Three times!
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Gina photo shoot
March 23, Today I took pictures with Gina, pictured above. I met her about three and a half years ago at the library. They put me on the upstairs desk and she came in. We talked, hit it off, but have been nothing but friends ever since. Even though I've pretty much told her that I'm interested in her physically. No woman wants to hear that you're into them physically, unless of course that's all their interested in. And that's rare. However, we have remained friends, with periods of absence, like when she moved up to San Jose two years ago. Through all that we've somehow kept in touch, mainly because she returns to the library, and I'm always there. It's been our anchor. Today we moved to a new part of our friendship, the possible time when we sleep together. I've wanted to sleep with her since I met her. I thought I had a good chance long ago, long before even TheGirl came into the picture. Alas, it didn't happen, but it might now. Today I took her head shots, at the old abandoned zoo. I have maybe three usable photos, which is pretty good. They aren't my best work, but certainly being charming during the day caused Gina to kiss me at the end of our shoot. Not passionately, but on the lips. I should have gone for it, full mack version, but we were at the mall and I REALLY hate public displays of affection like that. Mainly because I fear people are going to judge my technique. Which is an absolutely silly reason not to kiss Gina today. Also, I'm afraid I'll do it wrong. Even though I've had quite a bit of practice.
This past two weeks have been nuts. I kissed LM after Ann's dinner. I had my gay co-worker come on to me. I visited with my friend that I lusted after years ago, and if I hadn't chickened out I would have kissed her. And now today Gina. None of these things have been easy, and they are more like actions that are in limbo. However, I know that if I had made my move things would have been different. It's time to make my move and not just think about making that move.
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Dragons dancing around the restaurant where I was having lunch
March 24, Gina, the girl I photographed yesterday, texted me and invited me for coffee this morning. I wasn't expecting an invite so soon. But yesterday the photo shoot went well, and I felt a good vibe from the whole situation. She even mentioned how I haven't tried to kiss her yet. I told her I'm not used to doing that, because I'm shy. But then I told her that the next time I saw her I would kiss her. Today was the day. After coffee and people watching we were sitting in my car and I told her I was going to kiss her. I know, dumb to telegraph it like that. However, at least I finally kissed her. After nearly four years of pussyfooting around with her I finally kissed her. At this rate I'll sleep with her when I'm fifty.
My aunt and uncle came in from Mexico today. The original plan was for me to drive down to the border and pick them up. That was later amended to have me just pick them up in San Diego. Then that was shortened to downtown Los Angeles. Then THAT was changed to North Hollywood. Dummy me didn't get that last change. After talking to Gina and dropping her off at work at the mall I drove down to Chinatown to waste some time before picking up my aunt and uncle from the downtown bus station. Chinatown was nice. I parked my car in an area I don't usually visit and walked down to the famous plaza. There I took some pictures and basically chilled waiting for the phone call that would tell me they arrived. I got hungry and ate some food, where during my meal a trio of dragons came in and danced inside the restaurant. Following lunch I walked back to my car and made my way down to the bus station, thinking that perhaps I would get there just as they called. Wrong. The station is in the warehouse district, and I drove around there looking for a parking spot. The warehouse district is quite cool, and I've got to go back down there and take some pictures. After lunch and the drive I felt sleepy. I thought that perhaps they weren't on the 3pm bus, but perhaps on the next bus. So I took a nap with the phone on my chest just in case they called. They did, at near 5pm, from North Hollywood. At least I discovered a new part of the city.
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March 25, Work today was uneventful. It was what it was... long. It wasn't until night when TheGirl came up to see me at my job and I dropped her off at her place that the day became interesting. This weekend TheGirl told me that she broke the news to TheChisel. What that means I don't know, because TheGirl didn't mention it tonight. I wanted to bring up the subject, but held back because I wanted to see if she brought it up. Sure enough, she didn't. So yeah, she's still with TheChisel. Nothing has changed except that TheChisel was punched in the stomach. She probably just told him that she wanted to see him less often. I just like that TheGirl still thinks of me as stupid, because she thinks I can't figure these things out by her actions. Dumb. I'm having dinner with TheGirl's friend this Wednesday. The friend that she was fucking that she left when we started fucking. Total bullshit.
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March 27, Tonight I had dinner with TheGirl's former man, now friend. He wanted to meet me because he's heard so much from TheGirl about me. I guess I should be flattered that despite all the bullshit I'm: still in her life, still important to her, and trusted by her. According to TheGirl she only trusts Nicolas and me. Dinner was uneventful. TheGirl was quiet, he was boastful, I was quiet. I was on my best behavior, and despite inhaling three glasses of wine, I was a perfect gentleman. I tried to give him nothing to hang his hat. I don't really give a damn about TheGirl's friend Nicolas, or anything pertaining to TheGirl. I'm protecting myself from any emotional entanglement. If I need to bolt in a moment's notice I'm going to be prepared this time. This time I'm gonna be more than halfway out the door. Everything that was my love for TheGirl is died from the constant hurts she has inflicted on me. I still remember our time together as one of the best times of my life. And it's that memory of us clicking that keeps me around now. But knowing who TheGirl is also keeps me from trusting her as far as I can throw her. She has lost my trust, there is no turning back from that. There is no way that she could ever win back that trust. Ever.
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March 28, Work was completely uneventful today. So much so that I should have known the rest of the day would have a surprise waiting for me. Gina wanted her headshots printed out today. I went and ordered them from this place in North Hollywood, and told her we would go and pick them up after I got off work. Right after I got off work we darted to North Hollywood to make it there before the store closed. We did. She liked the pictures, and she paid up. But then the bad stuff happened. We started talking. But as soon as I start talking to this girl bad things happen, mainly because she always thinks that I'm too cynical for her. Sure enough today all the way home she mentioned how cynical I am, and how she couldn't understand how anyone would even consider marrying me. Long and the short of it I gave her both barrels back, telling her that I didn't care about marriage since I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED. Of course that opens the flood gates, because if she's considering being in a relationship with me after our kiss a few days ago, she's gonna want to know the relationship is going "somewhere." That "somewhere" is always marriage for a woman. Well, except TheGirl, who twice burned doesn't want anything even close to a commitment. When I dropped Gina off she was sad and told me that I was not a good person. Oh well. Guess I'm not. Nor am I marriage matterial.
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a kiss one week, a total rejection the next
March 29, Work was just one big whatever after another. But thankfully the day went fast because I was on the upstairs desk for three hours in the afternoon. Sitting up there, and dealing with every dumb question posed to me, makes the day fly. During the flying this Gina girl sent me a text that says, as you can read in the picture above, that she, "Would never be," my girlfriend. Ah, duh! I've pursued this girl off and on for the last three years. Even before I knew TheGirl I was trying to get something going with this girl, to no avail. Finally last week I finally kissed her. Finally I got the courage to kiss her, despite the fact that she was practically asking me to do so. Which means my nervousness over kissing her shouldn't have been a question. I guess I just had a gut feeling about this thing going bad real soon. Sure enough, out of the blue she text me that I offended her, and that would not be her boyfriend. The joke is on her, I didn't want anything but a fuck from her. I wanted to finally get into her pants, after so long. It's not like I love her, or even like her for that matter. I just wanted to fuck her, like I want to fuck my co-worker LM, because I need to get laid. Jerking off still feels great, but I want to feel a woman's body pressed against mine. I want to kiss a woman as I feel my shaft inside her. All that good shit. But this GinaGirl is too nuts to grasp that at face value and just tell me no. Instead she thinks I'll change my mind because she says so. Whatever, this is no skin off my nose. I played a long shot thinking that perhaps it would pay out. It didn't, I'm moving on.
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another postcard moment in Solvang
March 30, Today the whole pack and I went to Solvang. Since I've been there with TheGirl in recent history I became the designated expert. The problem isn't that we're traveling as a large group, but that we're traveling with three children under five. My cousin goes overboard with her things. Each kid needs two adults to get anywhere, it would seem. Getting them in and out of the car is a chore that takes half an hour. So arriving somewhere doesn't mean we can hit the ground running. We have to wait, then gather as a group, then finally get moving. Solvang isn't huge, and most people can spend a few hours there and get a good view of the sights. But all we did is go down the main drag twice and ate lunch. When I've been there with TheGirl it felt like we did the same thing, but it didn't feel so tiring. The good thing was that I was able to get some nice pictures of Solvang (like the one pictured above). Andersen's was good, everyone seemed to enjoy their meals. My uncle Paul ordered an omelet and a huge salad, not thinking that the salad was going to be gigantic. He took it home. None of us bought any souvenirs, except for my uncle Gil, who bought a music box for his one of his grandkids. All in all a good day, but a tiring day. In less than two weeks I'll be making a similar drive up the coast. It will just be me and TheGirl though. No kids.
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Lake Shrine from above
March 31, Took the family to the Lake Shrine in the Palisades today. After yesterday I was tired, and our original plan of going to Santa Barbara just sounded too much for me to handle. Especially since I have work tomorrow. So yeah, we went en masse to the lake shrine, a place I first visited with TheGirl. I have fond memories of that place with TheGirl. A lot of places I go have those kinds of memories. It sucks. When we arrived the parking lot was packed, mainly because there was a whole thing going on in the temple above the lake. Apparently they celebrate Easter. We parked our cars up the street and took a shuttle to the temple, where they were serving food. We had a some while we waited for the lake to open at noon. Once on the lake level we walked around, took pictures, and relaxed. Well, I relaxed. There were so many of these "West-siders" in at the lake shrine, all dressed up as if they were going to dinner or something. All in a rush. All just so, something. Whatever it was, it was't apropos to the lake, but what do I know. I just go there to relax. I mean I saw a kid throw a penny at a swan, and his mom didn't slap the shit out of him, like I wanted to do. Here this beautiful creature was gracing me with its beauty and this shit throws a penny at it. Fucking world. This is why I can't like people. This is especially why I can't have kids of my own. I took a lot of good pictures, like the one above. The day was tiring though. As I write this I'm here in my room thinking about how this weekend just drained me. The drama of not being able to just go at a moment's notice, which is one of the main things I cherish in my single life, was too much this weekend. We had dinner at this place on Olympic and Normandie called Guelaguetza, which specializes in mole. The food was nothing spectacular, but good. It filled me and put me to sleep afterward. I need a weekend from this weekend. Adios March.
This past month has been a crazy ride. Makes me wonder what April will be like. I know that Big Sur awaits in the middle of the month, and that's good. But before then I'll have to survive nearly two weeks of April. And then I'm worried about the Big Sur letdown after coming back. The last two times I've been up there I didn't want to come back. How will this time be different? Will TheGirl and I remain friends afterward? I say that because I have a feeling Big Sur will mark the beginning of the end for our friendship. I've taken a lot of shit from her over the last year and a half. Since our second break-up things haven't been the same. They have deteriorated to the point where we are now. Supposed friends, with me wondering when the other shoe will drop and when she will make a pass at me. And me half hoping she does, and half hoping she never does. Because to indulge her is just going to make her think it's OK to continue to treat me that way. But I digress, this isn't about the future month, but about March. I would say that it was a B+ month overall. My trip to Hearst was great, and I got to get away and explore Moonstone beach. Took A LOT of pictures, and reestablished my life. I also kissed three women, made out with one of them, and unfortunately was hit on by my gay co-worker. Plenty of stuff for a book, that's for sure. I liked this past month, because it was action packed and because it kept me on my toes.
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