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Afterthoughts : This Past Month
February was certainly the worst month of the new year. And it was only the second month! I think that it can only be upwards from here though. At least I can only hope, because this month saw another injury to my new car as well as a short break-up with TheGirl. Suffice to say this February is not going to be one I reminisce about.
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TheGirl and me on Disneyland's Space Mountain
Feb 3, TheGirl and I continued our now tradition of going to Disneyland on a Friday night. Disneyland has always been a source of fun for me. Since I've been with TheGirl the excitement I felt pales in comparison to the good time I have there with her now. Happiest place on Earth.
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TheGirl and me in Hollywood
Feb 4, Even though we had just gone to Hollywood last week, we decided we had so much fun on the boulevard that we should go again. The energy that comes with a huge crowd of people is palatable. The streets are narrow, and the gift shops are full of trash, but there's an energy on the boulevard now that I didn't feel before the Hollywood and Highland complex was built. Sure, there's always been tourist on Hollywood wanting to check out the stars on the Walk of Fame. But now I don't see people looking down so much. There's more to see, even though part of the boulevard is still a grimy backwater. It makes for a good time.
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My poor car!
Feb 6, Today will probably go down as the worst day of the year for me. I sure hope it is, because anything worse would mean I'm having a damn shitty day. First I had to go to the dentist. I don't have to say much more than that, other than the privilege cost me $3,200. Then my car got smashed by some object that I suspect was a car battery falling off a car. Whatever hit me caused extensive damage to Crockett, as pictured in the photo above. I'm not sure how much this is going to cost me, but I'll know next week when I take it to the insurance company body shop. Then lastly I went to my old school, CSUN, to get my, along with my aunt, taxes done for free at the Vita. But then of course that couldn't go right on a day like this. They told me that they couldn't do my taxes because I paid interest on a mortgage. What the fuck? Same went for my aunt. What a fucking pointless day.
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Ticket to Ellen show
Feb 13, TheGirl and I went to watch a taping of the show Ellen. Now I'm not a huge fan of Ellen, but TheGirl wanted to go check out the show with me. She went last month with her daughter and they gave her tickets for this month. So why not check out the show, which was the Valentine's day show. I had a good time moving to the beat. But by the end of the show I was pretty pooped, what with having to cheer loud and clap. By the time the show ended I think most of the people there were wilting. I know I was. But still, a good time was had. Before going to watch Ellen I had to deal with my busted car. I took it to the auto body shop to get an estimate and get the repairs started. I'm driving a rental car right now. When given the keys I was told that I wasn't supposed to smoke in the car. But the first thing i noticed upon entering the car was the smoky smell. So yeah, that rule isn't followed. Damn smoky bastards! I hope to get the car back by Friday. I want my car back.
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Feb 18, And so it ends.. again. TheGirl broke up with me tonight. She gave me a laundry list of reasons for the break-up. She mentioned that I didn't get her flowers for Valentine's day. That I can't provide for her. That her sister-in-law mentioned that she didn't seem happy to be with me. Lastly, and probably the only reason that matters, she mentioned that she was no longer in love with me. That's the only reason I needed. I knew this was coming, I could sense it in her growing emotional distance. It hurts.
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Suzanne refusing her picture be taken
Feb 20, Two days after the break-up, I'm not having a great time. I'm feeling better, but I've been feeling pretty shitty all day long today. It's not good that I had nothing to do today. But then fate has a way of bringing me adventures that show me the path. Or at least make me feel better. I went to get my iPhone fixed and then to the market. At the market I talked to a friend and former co-worker of mine. While waiting to talk to her I meet a homeless woman named Suzanne. We talked and talked about my situation. Well, I ended up driving her to North Hollywood to the church where she sleeps out on the ground. It was a moment when someone who has it WAY worse than I am showed me just how good I have it.
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my co-worker Gil
Feb 22, My co-workers Gil and Holly took time to cheer me up today. Gil invited me to lunch, and we had a good little talk about art and its importance to me. Then Holly showed up just before my shift ended just so we could go get some dinner. I nearly burst into tears because of her gesture.
There are a lot of questions still on my mind about how TheGirl could pretend to have affection towards me during our day trips this month, all the while planning on breaking things off with me. Each day is easier though. And since Saturday I have learned some things about TheGirl that shows me she's all wrong for me. While I'm still weak, and would consider taking her back it's not in my interest to do so. She has wronged me two times now. I know relationships end, but if I take her back it will say to her that it's OK to crap on me because I'll take her back no matter what she does.
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Feb 23, TheGirl and I work together. That's where we met. Not to say that we work closely, but we occasionally see each other. So it would be hard to avoid her after the "break-up" if I wanted to. There's bound to be some interaction. So I made it a point today to open the lines of communication to at least smooth things over enough so that it's not awkward at work. So when I went into her desk today I told TheGirl that I wanted things to be friendly. She agreed. Soon the talk went to how much we miss each other, and why this thing happened, and I told her that we could talk about it this weekend. It's the first step in what might be many steps towards reconciliation.
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Getty Center
Feb 25, Since the "break-up" I've been trying to keep busy. I asked my buddy Zach if he wanted to hang out Saturday. We decided on going to the Getty because there's a couple of photo exhibits that I wanted to see. Well, the exhibits were a huge disappointment. The exhibit on Los Angeles photos was good, but too small. I just know that there are a ton of other great pictures in the basement somewhere, never to be seen. And then the other exhibit, by this guy named Lyonel Feininger was TERRIBLE. That one was room after room of out of focus photos. The negatives weren't even cleaned of dust because one could clearly see where dust appeared on the negative. To me the exhibit showcased work that was unfinished, haphazard, and just plain boring. But, at least my buddy and I got to eat pastrami from Johnny's in Culver City. That was yummy!
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Feb 26, So TheGirl and I decided that we would have our talk after I got off work Sunday. I went over and we talked for about two hours. Hashing up stuff that bothered her about me. Stuff that caused her to want to break-up with me. We cleared the air, so to speak. In a sense we hit the reset button on our relationship. After the last break-up things went back right to where they had been before. This time I'm not looking to just continue what was going on before. I feel that doing so would lead to another break-up in the future. And I don't want to go through this again. So yes, for now we are back together. I'm not jumping in fully though. I want to make time for my friends and family. I devoted all my spare time to TheGirl, which is fine in a sense. But it has come with a price, the neglect of my family and friends. I have to strike a balance.
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TV in the library, what gives?
Feb 28, A TV was installed at the San Marino library today. What's it for? To watch sports, of course. What else would you need a TV in a library for? The TV won't be broadcasting the news, but rather stuff about the library. Like up coming events and stuff like that. I already plan on trying to get some stuff on that thing, like photos or something. I'm sure the person in charge will just have boring signage.
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Feb 29, Leap year is the explanation for why this month has sucked SO much. This has not been an easy month, to say the least. I'm looking forward to March. Tomorrow is March, and also the start of a nice little event in my life. My photos are going to be on display during the month of March at an Eagle Rock restaurant named The Coffee Table. It marks a push towards getting my work seen by more people. Though it feels to me at times that people don't want to see my photos, which frustrates me to no end. I believe that there will be a moment where everyone will be talking about my work. Be it good or bad opinions, I would like to at least get some response. Which would be better than my current response. Which is ambivalence. Nothing is worse in art than ambivalence.
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