Issue #109 - September 2010
  Finding Happiness

This year started out as lousy as the last.  Little did I know I'd find so much happiness after my failure with school, or my continued sloshing around through mindless jobs... but I did.  And now my whole attitude has changed (typical, I'll grant you that).  I can't say I'm not a cynic anymore, but certainly I see things with a little more light on them.  I've always been a realist.  Some people call that being a pessimist.  I can't dismiss what's happened the last couple of years as just a bad luck streak that might now be breaking.  I can only say that certain good work seeds are now sprouting in my favor.  For that, I'm thankful.  Now, on with the update.

Added three new pages to the io section of IMAGE_171, as well as more pictures to the ThingsEyeSee section, and the iPhone section.  That part of the site is coming along quite well.
 

Afterthoughts : The start of something good
 

I met a woman.
I found her attractive.
I flirted with her.
She flirted with me.
Nearly two years of flirting.
Finally this past month
one of us made a move.
It wasn't me.
I'm glad someone did.
Now, we're together.
I love her.

(I've made no secret of my troubles finding a girlfriend/significant other.  For the better part of my life I've been single.  It became something natural, inevitable.  I absolutely knew that I would die alone.  But I gave it one last try and gave myself a deadline, July 31st.  Now I don't believe in fate, or anything like that.  But it does seem rather a coincidence that exactly on July 31st someone I now care for very much reached out to me.  I would have never done so for fear of being rejected.  Now here I am, happy and in Love.  Seems pretty damn amazing to me how things turn around.)


 
Afterthoughts 2 : Finally, Real Life

An excerpt from my journal, dated August 11th, 2010.

The big event happened a little over two weeks ago.  A woman that I've been interested in for a while now invited me out to lunch.  The night ended with us consummating a new relationship.  I wonder now if this thing is just a "fuck buddy" situation (to be blunt), or if it has potential for more.  I think it does, but I've been burned in the past before.  Matter of fact, I told myself a couple of weeks before all this happened that I was a fool for even getting involved with women.  I had been on one of those dating sites looking for someone.  I emailed a few woman, and was rejected each time.  So I gave myself until the end of July to get a response.  But then a week before the end of the month I decided to jump the gun and delete my account early.  I figured that there was no use waiting that extra time.  I had already tried to get something going, and had failed miserably.  So, it was time to just give up once and for all. I truly gave up any hope of finding anyone.  And then the Universe took "mercy" on me and sent this wonderful woman my way.  We've been flirting for at least a year and a half now, but I was too afraid to make a move.  Thankfully she finally made the move.  Now we're... well, we're something.  I still have my shields up, because I don't want to get too emotional.  Having been burred in the past it's not my intention to get burned again. But, I know that if I have any change at finding happiness it has to involve me lowing my shields.  Because these things demand a full commitment.  And despite being burned over and over again I'm still willing to stick my neck out to be cut off.  It's the only way to live.  So we'll see where this goes. All I know is that I REALLY like this woman, and she likes me.  Beyond that, quite frankly I'm not thinking of that right now. I'm simply enjoying this.

 
Etcetera : iPhone Project 52

My iPhone project continues, with more pictures taken with my iPhone and filtered though a photo app named ToyCamera.  These pictures aren't intended to tell a story, just to be a showcase for this particular app and my photography using that app.  Enjoy the August pictures, which include pictures taken with my new iPhone.


08.02.10
 


08.09.10
 


08.16.10
 


08.23.10
 


08.30.10


 
Read previous installments in the Elsewhere archive